Disclaimer; I own nothing. All rights for the QuinRose where due

Warnings: a dash of OoC and a lot of crack


Conflict of Interest

Peter x Vivaldi

It was a given fact that Peter would do absolutely anything to receive the love and attention of his beloved Alice. He would swim through those germ-infested waters and breathe the same air as those bacteria-infested faceless beasts. There was no limit to how high he would jump or how low he would go to obtain her affections. Whether it was listening to that sickly worm – a ridiculous notion – or even asking advice from that idiot knight – which was complete stupidity on his part, he would admit – he was truly determined to do absolutely everything possible to make Alice realize her love for him

Though others may mistake that determination as desperation.

After all, he had to be desperate if he was resorting to accepting help from her of all people.

"Peter, when are you coming out?"

"Never."

"Come now. You can't mean that."

"No, I will not be leaving."

He refused to move an inch, his feet planted firmly on the floor, arms crossed behind his chest. This screen was the only thing protecting his pride, and he would be damned if he had to reduce himself when he was such a state in front of that wicked woman. He kept his gaze on the walls, refusing to look at the large mirror.

"You're being silly. Just come out. If you don't, how else will Alice see you?"

At the sound of his beloved's name, his ears straightened, his clock heart ticking a little faster. Then he cursed under his breath. Devil woman for using his one and only weakness against in such a fashion… With a curt breath and a rough brush of his attire, he swallowed his pride – this is for my beloved, he chanted to himself – and hopped out from behind the screen.

And instantly regretted it.

"Aw, you're adorable!" Vivaldi gushed in glee, violet eyes shining at the sight of him.

Peter twitched. "I look ridiculous."

He glanced over to his reflection for a moment and shuddered, swiping at the over-sized bow that was wrapped around his neck. His current attire was just a frilly, clownish mess, something so absolutely, abominably cutesy that he felt his manhood evaporate on the spot. It did not help that he was in his rabbit form. He would rather die a germy death than show himself in public in this silly state.

The fact that Vivaldi seemed so pleased with his attire only served to further grate on his nerves.

"I am going back in there to change into normal clothes. I won't be going out in public looking like–"

"Are you sure, Peter? We are certain that Alice would like it very much…."

Peter froze and gritted his teeth. Again with his weakness. Devil woman… He scowled when he saw a victorious smile spread over her lips.

"Why do you even have clothes that could fit me in this form anyway?"

"Oh, do not worry about that. The reason is unimportant," she said, gaze innocently drifting to a seam on her dress.

He did not question her further and fought the desire to shoot that smile of his queen's face. No matter how much he didn't want to, he really could only blame himself for getting himself in this strange situation.

Like the way Vivaldi was looking at him was beyond strange.

It was unlike anything he had seen before. Vivaldi was an unruly dragon queen, feared for her fiery temper and destructive wrath. To Peter, she was just simply annoying. In that moment there was none of the annoying, scary Vivaldi he knew. Her expression was unusually soft, eyes twinkling slightly at the sight of him. She edged towards him, her fingers twitched, as if threatening to pluck him right off the ground.

He shivered, unsure which form was more frightening – angry Vivaldi or this Vivaldi, who looked as if she was going to smother him.

"You really should be in your rabbit form more often. It's much easier and more pleasurable to deal with you like that," she noted with a smile.

Peter scoffed. "Like we would be in this form for anyone other than Alice, you hideous harridan!"

Instead of getting offended like she normally would, she chuckled. "Oh, even angry Peter in his rabbit form is cute!"

What?

He gawked at the queen, at that smiling visage, steeled steeled himself, and spat out, "You must be getting senile if you're calling me cute."

"Aw, is bunny Peter cranky because he wants a carrot? We could certainly fetch you one if you want." She knelt down and smiled wider, reaching forward as if to pet him.

The action caused his germaphobe senses to tingle, and he jumped back out of her grasp. Alright, now this is getting too weird.

"Well I'll get going to look for Alice now," he announced warily, slowly turning around to leave.

"Wait! You aren't allowed to go by yourself!"

Peter yelped when he felt his feet leave the ground. He thrashed his bunny limbs wildly and growled, "Hey! What are you doing? Get your filthy paws off of me!"

"We don't think you should talking about paws right now." Peter did not utter a word and only glared, wriggling in her tight grasp. "And we cannot allow you to go by yourself. You'll mess up your clothes before Alice has the chance to see you in your new attire."

"I think I will get to her just f—"

"Oh, hush now." Peter immediately was silenced when Vivaldi pressed him against her chest. "You aren't cute enough to be constantly whining like that. Now let Us take you to Alice and cease squirming."

Peter was already frozen. Vivaldi released a satisfied breath and proceeded to walk forward, unaware how stiff Peter was in her arms, how wide his eyes were behind his glasses.

Soft.

Vivaldi's chest was soft. Like very soft. Like he was leaning against an extra plush cushion.

Peter was not dumb or ignorant about the various assets of women. No matter their assets, were all filthy, germy creatures in his eyes, and he had zero desire to sully himself with such grime. Alice was his only exception to the rule.

But why did he feel so tense like this? So tense yet so comfortable against his draconian queen's voluptuous chest? If he moved an inch, just move his paw just a little bit, he could actually…

'Oh dear god no. I am not some blubbering, immoral fool like Ace.'

Breaking himself of his stupor, he was determined to wriggle his way out of this awkward situation.

"Just stay still and stop struggling." Peter froze once more when Vivaldi pressed him closer to quell his actions. "You're going to mess up your bow tie if you keep misbehaving."

Peter could not offer a response. He fell as still as a statue, trying his hardest not to notice how undeniably soft and malleable her chest felt.

'Alice. Boobs. Alice. Boobs. Alice. Boobs…'

As if his mental conflict was a summoning chant, the said outsider finally materialized before them.

"Vivaldi, I finally found you! What was it that you wanted to show—" The words trailed off her tongue when she noticed a fuzzy, statuesque mass held in Vivaldi's arms. Her eyes widened in confusion. "Peter? Is that you?"

At the sound of her voice, his heart almost leaped out of his chest. "Alice, my love! How I missed you so!" he exclaimed, wriggling just enough to face her.

"What are you doing with Vivaldi? Why are you dressed like that?!"

"I did this all for you, my love! The queen told me that you would like this attire on me and take me to you!"

"I never said anything like that." Peter immediately deflated, looking at her in confusion. "Vivaldi actually invited me over today because she had something she wanted to show me." She looked over to meet Vivaldi's gaze. "Really? Is Peter what you wanted to show me?"

She smiled wildly and nodded her head. "Yes! Doesn't he look so much cuter that he's all dressed up and well-behaved? All it took was a few mentions of your name, and he listened to Our orders without too much fuss!"

His brow twitched. Why that demonic woman…

He snapped his head to glare at her and shouted, "How dare you make a fool out of me, you manipulative wench-!"

He paused for a long moment, refusing to a move, a startling realization dawning over him. He gently pressed his paw down, noticing something supple and soft yield beneath it. Did he want to look?

He swallowed and turned his head, eyes nearly bulging out of his head. His paw was resting right on one of Vivaldi's sizable breasts. He sputtered wildly, torn by his germaphobe senses and some dormant male instincts he thought were long extinct.

"Peter? Are you alright? Your face is a little red—"

"Alice, take me away from this foul woman at once!"

They both stared at him after his outburst, at his tense muscle and reddening bunny cheeks, noticing his gaze struggle to focus elsewhere.

Vivaldi grinned in bemusement. "Alright, We will let Alice have you. Just stop putting up such a fuss, you dumb rabbit."

When Alice drew closer and Vivaldi lessened her grip, Peter jumped out in relief. Thank heavens that he was finally away from the demon woman! Alice sent a curious look to the queen, wondering what sort of trauma she put the rabbit through for the sake of her amusement. Vivaldi looked back with an innocent smile.

"Our Prime Minister is just being overdramatic. We did nothing wrong."

Peter snorted and swiped the bow on his neck as emphasis. He squeaked a little when he noticed her move closer. He adjusted his glasses, trying his hardest to focus on the queen's face and not the soft mounds below them.

'I'm not like Ace. I'm not like Ace. I will not fall for something so entirely lewd as...'

His eyes widened when she was directly before him, staring fleetingly at her chest then right into a pair of violet eyes. "We wish to do that again some time, Peter. We have many more fun things to do with you."

"Hmph! Like I would let you force me to go through such humiliation as making me try on more silly outfits."

"Well we have more in mind than just making you try on outfits."

Peter flinched at the suggestion. Vivaldi's violet eyes were twinkling mischievously, her fully, ruby lips in a wide smile, and her chest...

He quickly stopped his train of thoughts before it derailed into unsavory waters. "Ah, Alice! Please take me away from her! Her bacteria are affecting my mental processes!"

Vivaldi only laughed at his outburst. "Fine. We will be taking our leave then. Good day, Alice, Peter."

Peter cringed when the queen winked at him, the gleam in her eyes only making her more anxious than he did before.

Once she finally left, the rabbit cried, "Oh my dear Alice! How I'm so happy that you came to save me from that large breasts psycho woman!" He cuddled closer to her, relieved that the outsider's chest was significantly smaller.

Alice gawked first at Vivaldi's retreating form that at Peter himself, brows knitting together in confusion. What what happened between the queen and the rabbit? She only sighed to herself. Perhaps it was best she did not know...


Author's Notes: Since my mind conjured up the fantastic crack pairing that is Ace x Vivaldi, I had to think of an equally interesting one for a request I received. Then it hit me. The most impossible pairing ever - Vivaldi x Peter. Though it turned out to be more cracktastic humor with probable OoC, but oh well. It was fun.

Thanks for reading!