Mice in a City of Cats

Charley Davidson may have been the top mechanic in Chicago, but she was also the most stressed out. Just the night before, some unknowns broke into her garage and stole all her tools. She wondered if she'd have to go out of business before she even started. She had already sold the Chicago garage to her sister so she could start up a new one in Wildcat City, Kansas, home of Leo the Patriotic Lion and other such heroes, and now she had lost all her resources before she even began work in her new hometown. "This is peculiar," she had said to the Biker Mice. "I haven't even began yet and I'm already going to have to close down for good and pray my sister is still up and running."

"Oh, she'll still be up and running," Throttle assured her. "With old stink fish moving all his operations here, she'll not have to worry."

"Yeah, but it's a big mistake on Limburger's part," said Modo. "I've learned that this place, Wildcat City, has been around for over 150 years, and not one single criminal has ever gotten away with breaking the law. Of course, this is a big city, so the crime rate is higher than some other places, but with Mr. Stars and Stripes himself, Leo the Patriotic Lion, and other such heroes this place is known for, I think we're in good hands!"

"Who's the mammajammin' tiger in black with a gruff voice?" Vinnie spoke up. "Here he comes now. Oh, he's the baddest in this town! What a rush!"

"That's WARCAT, and he's bad, all right," Throttle replied. "I wonder if he's just passing by or if he's actually on a mission?"

"Guess we'll soon find out," said Vinnie. "Looks like he is going to stop by to say hello." That was indeed the case, for WARCAT had been paged by his superior, SUPERCAT (the Cat of Steel from Caticon), to see what all the fuss was about. SUPERCAT flew high in the sky on patrol.

WARCAT stopped his motorcycle in the parking lot of the new Last Chance Garage and radioed back to SUPERCAT. "Okay, I'm in the parking lot now," he reported. "Now all I have to do is get some information from Miss Charley Davidson and those so-called Biker Mice from Mars and we're good to go!"

"Good," said SUPERCAT. "I've got you on the radar and I'm coming in for backup." He flew down to where WARCAT was and both proceeded to the front door. Charley made her way from the garage to the office part and walked out. "You must be WARCAT and SUPERCAT," she greeted.

"That's us," WARCAT replied. "Are you Charley Davidson?"

"Yes. What brings you two here?"

"We heard how your garage got robbed last night. In this town, we're the first ones called out in case of emergency. Of course, we have a mix. Sonic the Hedgehog, the SWAT Kats, Mighty Mouse, and others; we've got a whole variety."

"I'm glad to hear that. The more defenders a city has other than the police, the better. If you two are doing detective work on this case, I'm sorry I can't help you much. All I know is that the culprit broke in about 11:52 p.m. last night and made off with all my tools. That was it. You'd think they'd want more, but they didn't."

"Strange case if you ask me," SUPERCAT put in. "In all my years as the mighty Cat of Steel from Caticon, I've handled much worse cases than this. This just boggles the mind, though. Why would the criminal just want your tools? What was the reason he wanted those tools? And just what did you have to do with it?"

"Well, I think the Biker Mice can help me answer that."

"Do let them in. I heard of their reputation," WARCAT replied. "I happen to be the baddest mammajammer in this town right now, but I think they're going to take over that honor."

Charley turned to the door leading to the garage itself. "The tiger wants to talk to you. He's got some superhero with him." In walked Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie.

"Well, well, well," SUPERCAT smiled. "You've got quite a group! No wonder Mars was flourishing!"

"Yep, until those Plutarkian stink fish drove us off our turf," Throttle replied. "Which one of you is the biker?"

"That's me," WARCAT spoke up. "WARCAT's my name. Crimestopping's my game. Ask me again and I'll tell you the same!"

"How do you do? I'm Throttle, the big guy's Modo, and that one's Vinnie. We're the ones they call the Biker Mice from Mars."

"Pleasure to meet you all." WARCAT and SUPERCAT shook hands while continuing their thoughts. "We didn't come here for a pleasure visit, though. We came to solve the crime." SUPERCAT turned to glance out the window. "Well, apparently, so has Leo the Patriotic Lion."

"Him we know," said Modo. "He witnessed us fight off those Crusher Bulldogs from Jupiter."

"Did he really?" SUPERCAT exclaimed in mild shock.

"Yep. Old Stars and Stripes is a great role model," Throttle put in. "There's no doubt about that."

"I'll give you an AMEN to that, brother," WARCAT replied. "Leo's the greatest." The group walked outside to where Leo was standing.

"Ah, the Biker Mice," he exclaimed in delight. "So glad to see you patriots again!"

"How you doin', Leo?" said Throttle. "I take it you heard about the robbery last night? That's what WARCAT and SUPERCAT are doing here."

"Are they? Well, my hat's off to them!"

"I thank you, and same to you," SUPERCAT replied, returning the compliment. "All Miss Davidson knows from the robbery is that last night around 11:52 p.m., someone broke in and made off with all her tools. That was it."

"That was it? You'd think they'd rob you of everything."

"I know. It's awkward! But, I guess tools are enough. I felt I was going to have to close up shop for good before I even opened."

"Not if I have anything to say about it. Whenever I speak, the country listens! That's the reputation I've built up, and frankly, it's pretty scary. Only villains like Lawrence Limburger dare question my authority."

"Wait. My super hearing is picking up a strange conversation." SUPERCAT listened intently to what his hearing was telling him. Using his powers, he turned up the hearing so that everyone could hear the dialogue.

In Limburger's new tower, the members of the core group that made up the enemy of the G-52s, the Quarrelsome Quartet, were boasting and gloating. It was Benjamin Primordius J. Alkadozer, Jr. (WARCAT's enemy) who made off with the tools. That's what the Biker Mice and the G-52 top three (SUPERCAT, WARCAT, Leo) were hoping to find out. "Yes! With these wretched tools out of harm's way, that insolent girl is finished, those wretched morons have no hope whatsoever, and the world is ours!" Alkadozer laughed.

"Your scheme appears to be deliciously effective," Limburger smiled. "Might I inquire how long you plan on keeping the tools?"

"Only until tonight, but that's all it takes to put one out of business forever, isn't it?"

"Wonderful! All I need to do now is lure those mice from their rat hole. Then you can take care of the cats." (Does that sound familiar? Limburger remembered how he once split up the Biker Mice thanks to Evil Eye Weevil, and he asked Karbunkle to bring him back so he could do it again.) "Hmmm. What can I announce to the media that will get them out of their rat hole?"

"How about you don't?" Alkadozer shot back, suddenly turning into a revolt. "Most of the time, we do the crimes in this town, kapish?"

"That may be, but I have my own score to settle with the Biker Mice, and there isn't anything you can do about it."

"True, but I am the one that's always in the news, so I will do the talking. Now let's see. Aha! You can take over the garage while I deal with WARCAT in a test of speed. His puny junkheap doesn't stand a chance against my invincible machines, and that goes for your sorry little three blind mice, too!"

"Did I just hear him call our bikes JUNKHEAPS?" Modo felt the glow of rage burn up inside him. He hated it when his bike, Lil' Darlin', was called a junkheap.

"What's worse is he thinks my bike is a junkheap!" WARCAT added. "Nobody calls Fireball a junkheap and gets away with it!"

"I'm impressed how you guys are able to stop crimes right before they start," Charley put in. "I'm going to have to get used to the big crime rate. It's bigger than Chicago ever was."

"That's the beauty of the G-52s," Leo replied. "We stop crime right where it starts. And by the way, if we don't get there first, and the police are all tied up, the citizens will form their own militia and fight back. That's only happened three times since I've moved here."

"Three times is plenty in my book."

"I know this sounds weird, Charley, but we'd actually appreciate you coming along on this one. Sorry we were so overprotective." Throttle turned to Charley. "You think you can handle it?"

"Of course I can! I'm just as headstrong as you. Let's play along with the scenario."

"Then it's time to rock…" Throttle began.

"…and RIDE!" all three finished, jumping on their bikes (Charley rode with Vinnie), gunning the engines, and racing to the scene of the crime. WARCAT jumped on his motorcycle, Leo, glad he wore his golden armor today, got in his Patriotmoblie (which he modeled after Batman's Batmobile) and followed WARCAT. SUPERCAT propelled himself skyward and formulated a plan of attack from the air.

When they got to the tower, alarms went off. "WHAT?" Alkadozer screamed, looking out the window. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I HATE THOSE PESKY G-52S! THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO SPY ON ME!"

"They are not the reason my alarms are going off, Alkadozer," Limburger sneered. "Those bothersome Biker Mice are teaming up with them. That's why my alarms are going off! Activate defenses!"

Goons soon appeared out of nowhere and began taking the offensive, but the troops were prepared. WARCAT drew his only weapon, his trusty Colt .45, and used it when necessary. SUPERCAT threw fireballs at the tower, and the Mice used weapons from the bikes. While Alkadozer and Limburger escaped with all their henchmen as the tower fell to pieces, Leo caught them in the act. Limburger had never seen Leo before, but he knew what was coming.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed. "Leo the Patriotic Lion!"

"The one and only," Leo proclaimed. "Just where do you think you are going?"

"I don't want to die from the tower collapsing. Do you know how many times I've had to repair that thing? It's costing me millions! And besides, I came to this town to get away from those bothersome Biker Mice! Why did they have to team up with you?"

"Face it, stink fish!" Leo bellowed. "You can't hide from them no matter where in the world you are! More importantly, you can't hide from me and my fellow soldiers in this war between good and evil! No matter what your plot is, we stop it at all costs! Now most criminals have the right to remain silent whenever the police make an arrest, but you do not!" He grabbed Limburger by the stomach, picked him up, and threw him towards SUPERCAT, who caught him and flew him to jail.

Meanwhile, Charley had been wrestling with Alkadozer in an attempt to get her tools back. "So it was YOU who stole my tools?" she screamed.

"YES!" he screamed. "In this town, I do all the criminal work, kapish?"

"That may be, but you've got no right messing with the top mechanic in Chicago, now this place! Give me back my tools!"

"You can have them when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers! You will never go into business! This town is MINE! MINE! MINE! ALL MINE! I RULE THIS TOWN!"

"NO, YOU DON'T!" WARCAT shouted, aiming his gun at Alkadozer. "This town has a system of government that works, and our mayor is going to keep his job!"

"You're not going to shoot him, are you?" asked Charley.

"No, ma'am. Consider me a freelance police officer making an arrest. I can handle this without anyone getting hurt." WARCAT drove Alkadozer over to the jail, and Charley reclaimed her tools.

The next day, Charley announced to the public in a ribbon-cutting ceremony, "The Last Chance Garage of Wildcat City is now open for business! Fast and friendly service. Oil changes starting at $29.95." She later promised WARCAT she'd keep up with his bike in the same way she kept up with the Biker Mice's bikes, since WARCAT suffered a busted gyro from the battle. "I thank you, ma'am," he replied humbly, "but I insist on paying for it. This town has a reputation for no free lunches."

"Well, it was worth a try. The Mice haven't paid me a penny yet, but they don't have to. They're my friends."

THE END

Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and whoever else owns the rights

SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron © Hanna-Barbera, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros.

Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA

Mighty Mouse © 20th Century Fox, Terrytoons, CBS, Ralph Bakshi Animation, and whoever else owns the rights

SUPERCAT, WARCAT, and Leo the Patriotic Lion © me