No Stopping Us Now

Having totaled Limburger's tower—and his plans—time and time again, it seemed like nothing could stop the Biker Mice from climbing to the top of the ladder. It became inevitable that they were a force to be reckoned with, even with the forces of good. It also seemed that ever since Charley sold the Last Chance Garage to her sister in Chicago so that she could open one in Wildcat City, Kansas, located in the very heart of the USA, the Biker Mice were having even greater success. There were plenty of reasons why it was so; the Martian Freedom Fighters (the rock group starring the Biker Mice and co.) were a huge hit with the town (and the nation), Wildcat City was a city where not one single criminal in its 150-year history had ever gotten away with lawlessness in the end (no matter how much it seemed they would), and, most importantly, it was home to Leo the Patriotic Lion, the most die-hard American as die-hard could get.

"Sometimes I can go overboard, I will admit," Leo said in an interview, "but it's better than no patriotism at all. As for those Biker Mice, let it be known by every man, woman, and child on this earth that those rodents have every reason to be praised every time. This whole world could have been Plutarkian stink dust if it were not for them! Plus, they rock-and-roll all night, but they can do that. They have the personalities and the talent for it."

While Wildcat City never had a criminal get away with breaking the law, it also had its own share of consistency; Lawrence Limburger was among those notable criminals that seemed impossible to contain. Alcatraz was where he was supposed to be, but he always seemed to break out, and it was not because security was not tight enough; it mainly had to do with the fact he was really a Plutarkian stink fish disguised as a human being. The Alcatraz security guards had no idea about the fish part, but they all agreed Limburger needed to just for once in his life take a bath.

Limburger was content with setting up temporary hideouts because he did not want to keep rebuilding his tower. It was costing him too much money to continue. "Why I even bothered in Chicago is unacceptable behavior," he said to himself. "But no matter. One of these days, I shall be victorious. This planet will perish, and those blasted Biker Mice and that loudmouth lion will perish with it. I can't stand this puny country any more. I hate this nation. I hate the flag, even."

"Hating our flag deserves the death penalty in my book," Leo made the comment while assisting the Biker Mice in spying on the enemy. (NOTE: this is according to his nationalist beliefs he's desperately trying to tone down to a more reasonable level.)

"So it does," said Throttle, "but that's not going to stop Limburger from trying."

"Wish I knew what he's scheming," Modo spoke up. "He's done nothing but complain since we got here."

"Personally, Leo," said Vinnie, "I think he hates us and you more than he hates Old Glory. That was true of Rump roast and it certainly was true of Hairball. I say we just trash the hideout as is. Then he can't carry out his plan no matter what!"

"I don't know, Vincent," said Throttle. "We can't just charge in expecting to be unnoticed. Last time we tried that, we found out Limburger was prepared for us all the time. He has to be doing the same here."

"Oh, buzz kill!" Vinnie snorted. "Do you know what that will do to my machismo rating?"

"Snap out of it, soldier! This isn't the time!" Leo interjected sternly. Vinnie knew better than to argue with Leo (or as Modo called him, "the Grand Old Defender").

"Karbunkle!" Limburger suddenly bellowed. "Get in here!"

"You bellowed, your overripeness?" Karbunkle snorted after emerging.

"Yes!" Limburger snorted. "Is my heat wave detector ready?"

"Yes, it is, your cheddar cheesiness," Karbunkle nodded. "And this time, Fred the Mutant didn't eat it!" (Fred had previously chomped down on several of Karbunkle's other devices, most notably all the counterfeiting money machines Limburger ordered Karbunkle to build; these machines passed off the cash as real so that Limburger wouldn't lose any actual cash. Yet it was never to be; Fred kept on munching and smiling, since he didn't care. He was just a patchwork monster.)

"This heat wave detector will sense those bothersome Biker Mice and that insolent loudmouth beast easier than my previous security systems," Limburger continued, "and that will make it easier to eliminate them. Then this puny planet shall be mine at last!"

"So this is another murder attempt on our lives!" Modo grunted. "He's not getting away with it. Let's RIDE!" He drove off north to turn around and prepare an attack.

"Love the way he says that!" Throttle chuckled as he and Vinnie followed suit. Leo ran to take shelter and watch from the sidelines.

Although Limburger's heat wave detector had no problems spotting the Biker Mice approaching, their bikes proved to be too much trouble for the detector; they were continually swerving to the left and right, avoiding being fried to death. "WHAT?" Limburger screamed in contempt. "WHY CAN'T ANYTHING OR ANYONE RID ME OF THESE BOTHERSOME VERMIN? WHY? WHY? WHY?"

"You are a flag hater, that's why!" Vinnie shouted as the Mice charged on towards Limburger's hideout and promptly destroyed it with their weapons. "Plus, no one gets away with crime in this town!" As he jumped to perform a perfect rainbow shape and unleash his flames, he started singing to himself, "I can be wilder than the wind! 119 miles an hour!" He laughed to himself.

"Whoa!" Throttle gasped. "Vinnie's chanting Paloma Faith!1 How weird is that?"

Limburger sobbed all the more as his latest hideout burned to ashes. Leo called for the police, and they grabbed him before he could make another getaway. Another squadron diverted so that Karbunkle wouldn't try anything.

"I hate my life!" Limburger continued to cry. "I hate it! I can't stand it! I hate it! I hate my life! Nothing I do is worth it! Nothing! Nothing! Not even living is worth it! Somebody just kill me and kill me now!"

"He wants to die?" Modo exclaimed in shock. "That's not normal of him!"

"I wonder if it goes back to his anger management issues over competing with Dominic T. Stilton for Lord Camembert's approval?" Throttle wondered out loud.

"Who cares?" Vinnie spoke up. "We beat him again! We saved the world!" He laughed triumphantly and pulled out his small American flag, waving it vigorously. "America rocks!" he sang, quoting the band's latest hit single with the same title.

"I'll give you an AMEN to that," Leo smiled as the group headed for the nearest hot dog stand. "I'll even endorse it! No stopping you now! You're bound to be #1 at the rate you're going!"


Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and whoever else owns the rights

Leo the Patriotic Lion © me

1 Vinnie is quoting Paloma's debut single "Stone Cold Sober."