Smoke on the Cactus

Having escaped Lord Camembert's wrath for the last time (and seeing as how his boss was sentenced to death in the electric chair in an intergalactic prison), Lawrence Limburger was more determined than ever to fulfill his race of stink fish's wish of destroying the Earth (or at least a bit of it) and ship it back to Plutark. But now he was having more problems than ever. It didn't occur to him that transferring his headquarters from Chicago to Wildcat City, Kansas, USA (home of Leo the Patriotic Lion) was the worst mistake of his life, since Leo was a national hero. It also didn't help Leo had an influence on the Biker Mice, since they were now carrying small American flags with them everywhere they went, waving them triumphantly, and making sure they never touched the ground. Just the thought of the flag was making Limburger sick, which made Leo's patriotic blood boil the hottest it had ever boiled.

Never once had Limburger even in Chicago been successful, but he wasn't giving up. He didn't know when to call it quits, even when it was evident he should. As a wise man Leo often quoted once said, "When you get to the last page, close the book."

This day, Limburger was experimenting with cactus and seeing that it could satisfy his desires of world domination, because after meddling with it, the cacti would emit smoke that would leave citizens choking for their lives and needing help. He had Karbunkle drive his ship as usual, with Grease Pit all tied up by the tower so that he wouldn't cause any trouble. "Oh, I always get stuck with the stupid jobs," Grease Pit complained as Limburger left. "Stay here and don't move! Get the mice! Shut up! What kind of career is this?"

"Okay, Karbunkle, drop the cacti," Limburger began when the ship Karbunkle was driving passed over the main streets of Wildcat City, unaware they were over City Hall.

"At once, your chili cheesiness!" Karbunkle replied, proceeding to do just that. When the cacti hit the ground, smoke poured out from over it. No one could tell if it was meant to be cigarette smoke or smoke from a burning building, but it nevertheless caused a few people to choke and hide for shelter. Others were prepared, evident from the gas masks they were wearing.

"I swear if the SWAT Kats were flying their jet over here, they'd have to put on their oxygen masks," Leo said to himself. "But they've got other things to focus on, so I'd better alert the troops from Mars about this. Good thing I wore the armor today." He braved his way to the Last Chance Garage, where, luckily for him, the Biker Mice were located at.

"Hey, that's Leo!" Vinnie exclaimed as Charley opened the garage door. Leo, coughing for his life, passed out as soon he made it inside.

"Oh, momma!" Modo exclaimed. "Mr. Stars and Stripes has collapsed!"

"Wonder if he got attacked in the line of duty?" Throttle thought aloud. "That would be a disaster, yet a heroic sacrifice, by his perspective of thought, anyway. Check his vital signs, Modo." Modo did so, and listened for breath as well.

After about five minutes, Leo regained consciousness. "Whew!" he said to himself. "I made it just in time. Thought I'd never get out of that alive."

"We're glad you're okay," Vinnie replied. "You just sort of conked out there, bro."

"What brings you here anyway?" Throttle asked.

"Smoke," Leo replied. "That's what made me faint. This terrorist you call Limburger is spewing cacti all over the place that's emitting smoke causing people to choke—if not die—from it. The police have ordered all to remain inside their homes or current buildings they are in. Maybe I should've listened to them, or at least bought an oxygen mask like the ones the SWAT Kats use. Better not go out there just yet, unless your helmets protect you from it."

"They will," said Throttle, putting his on and showing Leo the screen that popped up after pressing a button. "It also serves as radar if needed. Okay, bros, it's time to ROCK…"

"…and RIDE!" everyone shouted, gunning their engines and racing to the scene. Charley closed the door as soon as possible and tried to keep Leo calm.

When the trio got to where Limburger's blimp was located, Vinnie was the first to spot it. "There he is!" he announced. "Let's whip his tail!"

"I hear you, bro," Throttle replied. "Good thing our helmets can see through the smoke. Better step on it, though; the smoke's getting worse."

"What about the cacti?" Modo asked.

"We'll clean that up later. First let's trash old stink fish's new starship." The mice altered their bikes so that they'd launch themselves towards Limburger's new ship.

"Oh, please, no!" Limburger exclaimed when he saw the Biker Mice approaching. "I'm very tired. Karbunkle! Get us out of here!"

"I'm trying, your rinded reakiness!" Karbunkle replied. "But the control is stuck!"

Limburger sighed as the mice made contact with his ship. "Hey, stink fish!" Vinnie taunted. "Forgot about us?" He laughed his signature laugh of triumph and threw a flare at the ship, causing it to tumble towards the Bengal Lake and splash down. Modo's bionic arm helped make another dent in the ship as it splashed down with explosive result. Throttle took the time to whip tail at Limburger and throw him over to the police, who had to shield themselves from the smell of Limburger's skin. "Oh, you could tell?" Limburger replied after an officer made a comment about the smell. "I must have the air conditioning repaired at once as soon as I get out of jail."

"If you get out," the officer replied. "The odds are that you're not!"

Back at the Last Chance Garage, Leo and Charley watched the mice clean up the cacti in record time, then throw them in the nearest trash compactors. They then ate at the nearest diner for lunch.


Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and whoever else owns the rights

SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron © Hanna-Barbera, Cartoon Network, and Warner Bros.

Leo the Patriotic Lion © me