The Case of the $6 Million in Pennies

"Hold 'em up, bros," Throttle announced as he and his comrades stopped their bikes to look at the trail. While on patrol looking for evil deeds, the Mice had come across a trail of pennies. There had to be at least $6 million worth of pennies. "I thought I smelled money," Throttle continued the thought. "And that means…"

"…Ronaldo Rump!" Modo finished.

"Oh, yeah," said Vinnie. "It's old Rump roast all right!"

"But why would he leave a trail of pennies like this?" Rimfire asked. "You know how much he hates to lose money, unless this is counterfeit money."

"Yeah, but so does Lawrence Limburger," said Throttle. "I know this is Rump because Limburger's in jail, thanks to Leo the Patriotic Lion."

"Oh, yeah," said Modo. "I can see Mr. Stars and Stripes is really doing everything by the book. If you're like him, that's a good thing."

"Wonder how he'd react to this?"

"I don't know, but we'd better see where this trail leads to. If this isn't Rump's or Limburger's doing, then we'll have to investigate and see who is responsible for the trail."

Throttle and his companions drove their bikes along the trail, with Rimfire riding in the back so that he could pick up the pennies using some gadget Stoker had invented designed for such an occasion. Stoker rode alongside Rimfire to see that it was working properly.

Meanwhile, Rump laid in his office. He suffered from a massive headache thanks to the last plot of his the Mice foiled, and with Leo the Patriotic Lion helping, it was becoming even worse. He thought that Leo made the series of speeches he made so that the rich would be punished just for being rich, for Leo had condemned the Rump family for all their actions involving the Regenerator. (Leo was born into a family of very poor to working class income, as military and orchestral musicians have notoriously low pay or no pay at all).

Leo actually made the series of speeches because he was disgusted with smoking, drinking, gambling, and a whole list of other topics he wanted to see exterminated. And because he could effectively reach 750,000 people without loudspeakers or a microphone, America was obeying him. Smoking and drinking were history. Las Vegas, Reno, and Atlantic City lost their casinos overnight, and bowling alleys with smoke-free restaurants sprang up instead. Radio's audience surpassed TV's by 600% (as a result of Leo's short-lived but partially unsuccessful "Liberty from TV" campaign, an attempt to eradicate TV altogether). The video game industry, which last crashed in 1983, crashed again, and this time, crashed for eternity. And best of all, according to Leo, the U.S. military was appreciated more than ever, and more people were willing to join (although the draft system did not return by Leo's demands). "If you don't feel worthy of joining up, you don't have to," he said in a speech. "But don't be lazy either. Get a job. Get a life. Keep yourself away from sickness." Wherever Leo went (provided he was wearing his band uniform or golden armor he used for fighting crime), people acknowledged his deeds with gratitude and personal American flags. Even the Biker Mice were carrying American flags with them.

The Biker Mice and their comrades who were with them continued to follow the trail of pennies until there were no more, and Rimfire showed everyone there was indeed $6 million in pennies making up that entire trail, all of which were now in a heavy box. The weirdest part was that it led them right to Leo's house! "That's strange!" Throttle exclaimed. "This is Leo the Patriotic Lion's house! Leo wouldn't leave $6 million in pennies just lying around like that!"

"I know," said Modo. "I think someone's trying to frame him."

"We could ask," Vinnie suggested, "unless he doesn't want to be disturbed or otherwise isn't home right now."

"Rimfire, ring the doorbell, will you?" Modo asked his nephew.

"Sure thing, Uncle Modo." Rimfire walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. To everyone's relief, Leo answered the door. "Ah, Rimfire," Leo greeted heartily after checking to see who it was through a smaller slide door (a safety precaution he wanted everyone to use). "I see you and your fellow comrades have stopped by to say hello. What can I do for you patriots?" (Leo was wearing his armor today, as he had responded to an attempted bank robbery at 6 a.m. earlier that morning and he didn't bother to change outfits.)

"Leo, I guess the question is really, 'What can we do to help you?' Someone's up and left a trail of $6 million in pennies that led us right to your house."

"Is that so?" Leo replied. "Very interesting." He closed his door and walked outside to where the Biker Mice and Stoker were situated. Rimfire followed him and showed him the box with all the pennies. "As you can see, here's all the pennies we picked up while following the trail."

"I see that."

"I think someone's been trying to frame you," Modo spoke up. "If it's not Lawrence Limburger or Ronaldo Rump, I don't know who it is."

"Have you tried scanning the pennies for fingerprints yet? Or do you even have such a device capable of that?"

"We don't. Do you?" Stoker asked.

"I do. Come on in, and I'll show it to you." Leo led the five mice inside his house and showed the device to them. Vinnie pulled out two pictures of fingerprints, one that belonged to Rump, in the shape of a loop, and one that belonged to Limburger, which was in the shape of a whorl. Rimfire took a penny and placed it under the machine, and Leo pressed the green button that read "START" to start the scan. When the scanning was complete, neither one was a match; the fingerprint was an arch.

"Neither Limburger nor Rump did it," Leo announced. "Whoever the culprit is has arches for fingerprints."

"But which of our enemies has arched fingerprints?" Throttle asked. After thinking for a moment, the five mice exclaimed in revelation, "Hairball!"

"The incompetent general you put to justice when you snuck into his fortress?" Leo asked.

"Yep," said Rimfire. "He's in Alcatraz, but I guess he had one last hairy trick up his sleeve. Oh. Maybe this was phase 2 of Rump's last plan to turn Harley's house into a water bottle plant. But since we caught El Disgusto Surpremo in the act before Rump roast could do anything else, your name's in the clear."

"I gotta hand it to you mice," Leo smiled. "You are the one invasion the Earth has benefited from."

"What do we do with all these pennies?" Modo asked.

"I don't know. Put them in the bank?" Leo suggested.

"We'll do that," Throttle replied. "First we gotta go to one of those cash-for-coins machines and do a transaction there."

Everyone walked outside. Leo waved good-bye to the Mice as they went towards the bank to take care of the $6 million in pennies and make a deposit.

When Carbine and Charley heard about this, they were more than happy that Leo's name was in the clear. They decided to join up with the Biker Mice, Stoker, and Rimfire at the nearest hot dog stand for lunch. Leo, meanwhile, took some time to relax before beginning work on his next composition for military brass band.


Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and whoever else owns the rights

Leo the Patriotic Lion © me