I am human.
I do not fit in.
Different? I know.
"It's not a question of their capabilities, admiral; but the ethics that concern me more."
"All life necessities would be taken care of Admiral, her life would be of high standards, even for a Vulcan."
"With all respect Ambassador but I meant the humanity of the children would be sacrificed."
"Professor, Ambassador, let's be reasonable shall we?"
"Admiral, Professor Pike is correct, the culture of Humanity would be traded in exchange for that of the Vulcan planet."
"But they would return to Starfleet at age…?"
"Seventeen or Eighteen I would presume, as is normal in Vulcan graduates."
"And what discrimination would they be facing?"
… "Vulcans like humans can show hatred towards what they do not understand when they are young and as humans they would have to face rigor in most of their prospective fields to compete."
"We cannot hand over these children simply for the sake of an experiment."
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few Professor and I think you'd find by doing this we would be testing the true capabilities of humans."
"The children would be taught Vulcan but they would come back to Starfleet and be immersed; the Vulcan skill set with human passion would give the pair of them unlimited possibilities. This is a chance for them to be great."
… "I will respect your decision as always Admiral."
"Thank you professor Pike, you are dismissed."
"What do you think Admiral?"
"I'll have some paper work ready for you."
The ambassador and his wife were to bring both the boy and girl child to Vulcan before handing the boy over to a family on the opposite side of Vulcan while the Ambassador's family would keep the girl close by.
That's what they did.
The children grew up on separate sides of the world. This is the story of one of them- Terra.
Terra grew up in the ambassador's home but she didn't grow up alone. There was the ambassador's son, Spock who was unsure of how to respond to the human living with them. For a while they pretended as though they didn't know the other existed.
Terra had to adapt to a new life and many didn't approve of her. She was six so the worst part was reminding herself that showing her emotions would just make things worse. She had to not show fear and accept that here she was the one that was different, not the people with pointy ears and eyebrows. She wasn't going to see her twin brother for the foreseeable future and she had to get used to the much hotter temperature of the planet. There were many nights she couldn't sleep because her brother was not beside her and many nights she'd wake up and couldn't fall back too sleep.
Also… she had to learn a completely new language. Luckily she had some help.
"It's not difficult."
"Would you like to take federation standard lessons?"
"I am already decently fluent in federation standard now-"
"Can we practice math instead?"
"Why would you ask?"
"I would prefer to practice maths."
The much more traditionally educated seven year old looked at Terra with a normal emotionless face but curiosity below the surface, "One cannot prefer, Terra, the logical choice is to work on your Vulcan grammar because that is what you still need to work on."
The girl of seven years old stared back at him across the table and reminded herself for the hundredth time since arriving at this planet six months ago, resisting a sigh she just bit her lip and sat a little straighter, "You are correct Spock but you knew that. Continue."
Having two children of the same age living in that house wasn't always a positive aspect although they were often found working together for classes. They slowly began to get used to each other.
"Terra, may I come in?"
The girl looked up from her book, "Treasure Planet" and replied as she hid it under her pillow, "You may." The door opened a crack and Spock slipped in, dressed very nicely.
"Mother wished me to remind you that my bond mating ceremony is later so we will not be home although you are, to use her words, welcome to join us." He said it all quickly and Terra knew that was Spock's way of being almost embarrassed. To make it worse for him she truly didn't know what bond mate meant.
"Spock are you nervous?"
"No I am not."
"Vulcans shouldn't lie."
"I am not nervous."
But she changed the subject which Spock was grateful for, "That outfit fits you for the occasion."
He took relief in not speaking of emotions, "It is the traditional robing and should I tell her you intend to stay home?"
"Understood and yes I do, though I will join you for dinner if I may?"
The corners of Spock's mouth twitched upwards although he kept a completely stoic façade, "I understand no reason why your ability to join us would be hindered."
Terra, less disciplined, smiled before correcting herself and mimicking Spock, "See you then, and Spock?" His head tilted and she knew he was listening, "Don't be. I may be ignorant of what bond mating is but don't be nervous."
Amanda- the ambassador's wife, took to having another girl around the house joyfully although Sarek was often quick to remind her that "If the girl has any chance at discipline Amanda you must not encourage frivolity." Sarek was Terra's teacher at home and she respected him greatly, she also feared him and most other Vulcan adults who referred to her by anything but her name.
Amanda truly felt bad for the girl every once and a while because she knew how harsh everyone can be, and the girl hadn't even gone to school yet. So she brought home some fictional works of literature from Earth one day and gave them to Terra. She said to keep them under the bed and only read them when Sarek wasn't looking because he would get ever so grumpy. Terra agreed.
She did read those books in between meditations and they helped. She got to express and feel emotion, and then she would calmly disperse the energy in a healthy way.
One night reading and meditation didn't work and Terra was up still when Sarek and Amanda both went to bed. Once she hadn't heard any noise from the living area for approximately 17 minutes and 39 seconds she got up from bed.
It was logical that while she could not sleep she would find other things to occupy her time. She walked through the hall before seeing a light on in one of the bedrooms. She knocked on the door knowing whose room it was, "Spock?"
"Enter." Terra reminded herself that even though the boy was eight, she still had to talk to him like she talked to adults on Earth- logically.
"May I inquire as to your reasoning of still being awake?" She asked taking a step into his room. It was blue in color with a black carpet; his bed was perpendicular to the window and there were two book cases and a desk with a screen on it. In furniture aspects it was identical to hers but the color different.
Spock was sitting on his bed with books spread out about him and a holopad as well, he looked up at Terra entering and he nodded to the door behind her, "Close the door Terra, I am studying."
Terra obeyed and took a few more steps into the room, "Why are you studying?"
"To be accepted into the Vulcan Academy of Science."
Terra was almost sure she was going to get it wrong but still asked, "Isn't that in ten years?"
"I am half-Vulcan, to be instated at the Vulcan Academy of Science I will have to have remarkable notes." Spock hadn't looked up from his books to her and she shuffled awkwardly as she pretended to look around his room. After a moment Spock looked up at her and thought to offered her a seat but the one at the desk had his bag in it, "Why are you awake?"
"I find I am unable to sleep."
Spock nodded to her response before he moved over on the bed, "You can study with me." With a side smile that Terra didn't bother to suppress she jumped onto Spock's bed across from him with all the books between them which initiated the next question, "Did you receive any emotional discipline on Earth?"
Covering her mouth quickly Terra shook her head, "I did not, sorry."
Spock shook his head quickly not meaning to offend, "There is no reason to apologize I was only asking a personal curiosity. Despite small emotional outbursts, your progress is significant."
"Thank you, it does take a lot of work to not smile or laugh sometimes."
"To laugh?" Spock asked in wondering what she would laugh at.
"Permission to speak emotionally?" Terra replied without skipping a beat.
"Granted?" Spock wasn't sure how to answer but felt he wasn't going to get an answer if he said contrary.
Terra smiled and crossed her legs on the bed comforter, "Well the only other person I've talked to this normally is your mother but it's just different on Vulcan than at the orphanage on Earth." Her Vulcan slipped at the words orphanage since she didn't know it but Spock still understood what she meant.
It seemed to hit the eight year old boy he knew nothing of this girl, "You lived in an orphanage?"
"For a while yea, and if we weren't there we were at the Star Fleet academy with Professor Pike taking our lessons there." Spock had never heard of Star Fleet offering classes to children but didn't know enough on the subject to push it.
"Who is we?"
"My brother and I. He is with the T'kal family in Raal."
Spock didn't know the protocol to responding to personal information even though he had asked so he stayed quiet. He looked at all his books, "Would you like to play a game of chess?"
"One cannot prefer to do anything I thought?" Spock looked at Terra not expecting her to be tight for the rules taught yet saw a hint of her smile.
Her raised an eyebrow, "Are you teasing?"
Now she did smile, "Isn't the logical thing to do work on your science stuff because that's why you are up in the first place?"
"Then why would you stay up just to play chess with me?"
"You look bored I believe it is and the logical thing to do in such a case is find something to do, such as chess."
And that is how the two stayed up half the night playing a meaningless game of chess, this said game ended in a stalemate
… although Spock would never admit it aloud.
As stated before, Terra went into formal classes late. (When she was eight to be exact)
Sarek had been teaching her at home lessons in order to catch her up with the language and the discipline. Now she was eight and had to go in with Spock during the days.
She wore the uniform, a dark shapeless robe with long sleeves and a large collar. Her hair was up in a simple braided bun because she didn't want it in her face and Amanda wanted to do something with it.
Walking into the dim large room of the academy tower Terra had to focus on a lot of her training as she felt too many eyes on her and she took in the work areas that seemed all separate from each other and felt herself fearing even more losing the only thing that was consistent, "Spock?"
He didn't look back at her as he walked confidently through the areas that went into the flooring and towards the tallest figures in the room, "Yes Terra?" She did respond and he looked back partially before looking forward again, "Are you afraid?" He knew she was human and that she had much more present emotions that she was still working on oppressing and asked the question without judgment.
He heard Terra take a breath and the word barely escape her lips but he heard it, "Very."
He had no words of comfort for he never received any from others except for once… "Don't be." They were toneless but Terra still found comfort in them as she took another deep breath and straightened her posture as the approached the tall people, "Professors?"
Two male and one female Vulcan turned to face Spock and Terra as the female greeted them, "Spock, son of Sarek you are aware of your area location are you not?"
"I am, Terra is not."
The Vulcan's eyebrows rose only a millimeter but Terra caught it as she listened, "The girl can follow me."
With a nod to his teacher Spock turned to walk to his own determined class area without a second glance to Terra but Terra's eyes were focused on the female Vulcan as she followed her. When the Vulcan stopped so did Terra, "At precisely eight o clock the lights dim, the screens will rise. Class begins. Understood?"
Terra nodded and stepped down the steps into the circular area with the four foot wall type thing around her and technology brimming, "Affirmative." She answered calculative before adding, "Professor, you'll find it more effective to refer to me as Terra for the titling of 'girl' is ambiguous."
The Vulcan lady just looked at Terra, "Noted student, be ready." Before she started walking away and Terra looked out of her area on her tip toes to see the direction Spock was in but before she could see him the lights went off, her screens started up.
On Earth, Terra would've been a prodigy. She had her fourth grade math problems done in kindergarten, the same for 700 page books. Algebra and Trigonometry was a topic for Sarek's teachings. Her memory served to be almost photographic as she memorized facts and formulas like they were a simple as single numbers or spelling words.
On Vulcan she was average. She was however better than most expected.
As soon as the lights went back on she was dazed for a moment as she came back to reality, "You're human."
Terra looked up at the voice above her as she stood at the bottom of the stairs to her area, "Correct."
"You don't belong here." It was three boys, all taller than her by a long shot and she was below them in position as well- disadvantageous.
Keeping her face from changing she replied, "Define belong."
The boys were getting tired of her luckily as one stated, "You don't match up with everyone else."
"Correct." Terra answered as she walked up the stairs and came face to face with them, "Excuse me, but I must get home now."
"This isn't your home."
"Why don't you go back to Earth?" After this one she got a solid push backwards that she wasn't expecting and the Vulcan strength didn't help as she stumbled down the stairs a bit, "You can't even stand up to push."
Calmly, although strained, she walked back up the stairs and this time was expecting it as one pushed her and she pushed back enough that she didn't fall down the stairs, just wavered, "Peace and long life." she muttered as she pushed past them too quickly for them to care to react.
Luckily Spock had been looking for her so at the first sight of the blonde girl (he had never realized before how much she stood out) he had gone to intercept her, "Terra are you ready to return home?"
The immense relief at seeing a familiar face was so great, almost greater than the actual feeling of being back in the house.
After two years, this was the familiar place for her. Sitting at the dinner table with Sarek giving her a scolding look if she slouched was welcomed and so was Amanda's food (although, her food was never unwelcomed). Spock beating her at 3-d chess for the thirteenth time was reassuring and meditating for the night was tranquil.
Then when Terra turned ten Amanda offered to take Terra to Earth for a day.
After living on Vulcan for four years, at this point she spoke flawless Vulcan, held her own in emotional control and excelled in mathematics and logic. Terra could barely remember Earth but didn't want to admit it so she agreed.
The arrived on the planet and the older woman and young girl arrived at the Starfleet Earth headquarters. It was so strange.
Terra walked beside her and took in the different clothes and customs. What should be normal to her she found weird.
"I am dropping you off with your old professor, is that alright?" Amanda turned to the girl and asked.
The girl watched more people walked by her and she nodded, "That is-" She took a deep breath and spoke in federation standard remembering where she was, "That is satifactor-" She took another deep breath, "Yea that's fine."
Amanda chuckled at the girl's difficulty before patting her shoulder, "It's okay; you'll get it." They walked past class rooms until finally Amanda stopped at one and walked in but class was in session so she simply motioned to empty seats in the back and Terra. Looking up at the other woman Terra was confused why she hadn't sat down, "I have a meeting." She whispered and waved kindly before leaving the room.
Terra looked around many red uniformed people sitting below her in the arena style class room. A familiar man on the main platform was lecturing and terra recognized his voice. Everyone was so old and she sat in plain black skirt and white blouse in the very back with only a holopad that she was reading a philosophical book on. A message popped up silently of Spock asking for a game of chess.
Tuning into the lecture for a moment she felt they were nowhere near the end and accepted the invitation. Their game was cut short after about fifteen minutes by the lecture ending and Terra promptly apologized through IMS but put the holopad to sleep as students in their red uniforms filed out of the room.
The grey haired man moved behind the desk and spread out papers to do work but once a path was cleared she stood and walked down the few stairs to the lecturing area, "Professor Pike?" She asked tonelessly.
Christopher Pike looked up from his desk confused as to the presence of a child, "Yes?"
Terra moved to be in front of his desk with her hands behind her back as she spoke, "You may not recall who I am, or even who I claim to be but I do remember you sir and-"
"Terra?" Pike asked; he only had to hear the vocabulary to have an idea of who she was. After all, he has taught only two child students, and they were a special case to his heart. He'd never forget her face.
She nodded, "Sir."
The man smiled largely and got up to sit with her in the student seats, "How have you been? It's been a four years I believe right?"
Taking a seat next to her old teacher she answered honestly, "It's been four years, thirty three days, 17 hours and I believe you were asking a rhetorical question and not expecting specifics." Pike resisted the urge to laugh with the girl who chuckled at herself before regain composure and continuing, "I apologize and I have been adequate thank you."
He nodded in the marvel that she had become so much alike to those he had let her go live with, "Emotion is nothing to be apologized for here and I'm glad to hear that but how do you like it on Vulcan?"
"An…acquaintance of mine has informed me I cannot prefer or like something sir."
Pike rolled his eyes and smiled kindly, "Well I'm telling you that you can."
With a smile Terra took that as her permission to speak freely and began to talk, "The planet itself is very warm and storms are not unlikely. The Ambassador, Sarek is very intelligent and willing to help whereas his wife I believe likes to think she has a daughter too although I cannot imagine either of them as parents, let alone their son as a brother. I began school two years ago and find it altogether stimulating."
Nodding Pike was inspecting her for anything that would say she was lying, "And are you treated well?"
"Around the house I doubt I could be treated better." Terra answered honestly.
Pike picked up on the subtle clue, "And outside the house?"
"Bullies and the like, nothing I can't handle." Now there is quality human arrogance, thought Pike, "How have you been sir?"
He leaned back in the chair a bit as he put his hands together, "Do you remember what lesson number one was Terra?"
The cogs were turning in the girl's head as she thought through her memory, it was many years ago. Hesitantly she answered, "No need for formalities?"
"I see your memory is still working as well as ever." Pike remarked and Terra was reminded that Earth is where she got the concept of joking and teasing.
As the day wore on and they discussed multiple topics of their current lives Terra grew more comfortable with the man once again.
Amanda did come to retrieve her and happily Terra parted from her old teacher with a hug, a motion she had forgotten as well. On the trip back to Vulcan Terra gave her thanks to her female guardian and Amanda shrugged it off with a smile and wave as always while Terra closed her eyes preparing herself to be emotionless again.
This trips varied but did continue to being once every few months; it kept Terra in line with Earth and Vulcan.
The eleventh year is when most Vulcan children learn to control telepathic abilities. Being human, Terra didn't have such an option as she simply continued advancing in sciences and math during Vulcan telepathic class time.
Some days she opted to stay home and Sarek would give her physical feats such as climbing a mountain or doing pushups because he foresaw that as a human on Vulcans complications could arise, and he couldn't have been more right.
During these classes some Vulcans were emotionally compromised and Terra got used to Spock waiting outside the room for her instead of finding her inside. She never asked why but assumed he simply was too proud, as she found out more and more Vulcans were.
Specifically the three tall boys that would continuously harass her. Almost every other day they'd be ready for her to step out, it was routine. About month ago (37 days exactly) they'd stopped and she didn't know why but did find a clear relief at not seeing them anymore.
Then came the one day that she had taken a little extra time and got out a minute late: she saw the three boys talking with Spock. She walked towards them but as though she was just going to the door because even at eleven years old, she knew her presence would make it worse.
"This is your thirty-fifth attempt to elicit an emotional response from me." Spock stated as Terra was approaching and she slowed down.
"You're neither human nor Vulcan and therefore have no place in this universe."
"Look his human eyes; they look sad, don't they?"
"Maybe an emotional response requires physical stimuli."
Terra was just past the boys but turned at this to see the middle one shove Spock back a few feet and she took a step towards them but stopped herself by breathing deeply.
The boy kept talking, "He's a traitor you know, your father? For marrying her, the human whore." Now Terra had stepped at this point but Spock was quicker and threw the boy backwards into the circular area next to them and then proceeded to jump down and punch him straight across the face throwing him around even more.
Both scared and concerned Terra showed neither as she noticed the boy's cohorts about to slide down but grabbed the back of their robes and with a small smirk tilted her head, "Your friend's losing; wouldn't it be illogical to put yourself in his place?" The boys looked at her emotionlessly before walking swiftly away and Terra knew they were getting a teacher.
She slid down the area encompassing wall and interrupted Spock repeated hits, "Spock, stop it!"
He looked back at her in surprise and then it faded to what she perceived as regret and she reached forward hesitantly and put her hand on his shoulder to pull him off the other boy a little. The bully had his hands on his face and not looking to get up while Spock was still standing next to him.
Hesitant of contact because she did understand Vulcan traditions Terra took her hand off his shoulder and asked, "Are you okay?"
Spock looked close to tears and it scared Terra as he nodded but before he could speak they heard the teacher, "Spock! Terra!"
When Sarek came for the children they were sitting side by side on a bench in the school, "Terra dismissed." But Terra waited a second before getting up and obeying her guardian. She was concerned but logically, Sarek could handle the situation better so she left for home without Spock for once.
After this Spock didn't talk to her for the rest of the day until she came to his room after lights-out like usual, "Spock?"
"I was but I grew from it."
She moved to sitting on his bed and he forced himself to look up from his books, "What did Sarek say to you; may I ask?"
Spock acted as though it was no big deal to summarize it, "He explained that emotions run deep in Vulcans and that he married my mother out of logic and that he sees me choosing the full Vulcan life as a logical decision for me."
Now Terra nodded as she took her usual place across from him with her legs crossed, "I'm sure your father cares about you Spock, and your mother. This may seem strange but; he sends her messages every time we go away, enquiring as to her health and circumstances; the way he treats her personifies respect and, Spock, he just looks at her like she was the world."
Spock had his pointed eyebrows together in confusion, "There is no way possible she could be 'the world' as size differentials don't match and he acts to her as any Vulcan husband acts towards their wife. As to him sending her messages while away, we keep in contact while you are off planet."
That caused them both to think more than it should've but Terra snapped from it sooner, "It was an expression, I apologize for the confusion, but it means he looks at her like she is his metaphoric everything. And yes we talk but that's different, because we are us."
It seemed like a minute of each of them staring the other down before Spock responded, "The need to discuss this with you is nonexistent; it's private."
With a questioning look at the boy she slowly got off his bed and moved with her back to him towards the door before turning back around, "Is this better?"
"I do not understand."
Tilting her head her answer was calculated and measured, "You stated, 'it's personal', but me sitting on your bed is personal and so is the fact that half my school books are sitting on your bookshelves just so I can come here and read them."
Spock rose an eyebrow, "Is this what human would characterize as silent fury?"
"This is what humans characterize as critical questioning." Again her voice was hard and unmoving as it was in class but never in this room.
The Vulcan didn't know how to handle what he was almost positive was an emotional human, although he saw her point, "I apologize for the statement I had made about the level of personal this information was to my family. I should've taken into account the level of personal revealing there is between us."
The words after 'I apologize' were lost to Terra as she beamed and ran back to quickly recover her seat on his bed and even he smiled openly at this before regaining himself, "Thank you for acknowledging this Spock." And that's how the predicament ended. Simple agreement that they were 'them' not an item or a pair but 'them'.
Terra would still study with him but the only time he showed any emotion now was if she came to him room or his to hers to study or play chess. He seemed to think now that if he showed even the uplift of a smile it would be a crime.
But that didn't stop Terra from trying. She got being emotionless down in public but began getting brave around Sarek and Amanda. When she turned twelve she began to use sarcasm and wit which both amused the two adults and frustrated Sarek to no end.
When she turned thirteen she stopped suppressing smiles or laughs around Spock, but only Spock. It went along the lines of, "I really don't have any inclination as to telling you not to be happy Terra."
"No but I don't have to express it."
"I suppose you don't have to but you are technically human, you have the right to."
"But not at the discomfort of others, seeing how I am on Vulcan..."
"Then take my word for it when I say that you expressing happiness is no discomfort to me."
… "Well thank you Spock." Then she all but skipped out of his room smiling.
Spock had shook his head and rolled his eyes but he had to admit, that girl had made his life much… funner.
At fourteen Amanda had "the talk" with Terra, which then spurred the event known as 'The Great Disappearance' as Terra hid in her room for two days because she did not want to finish said conversation…
"May I come in?" Spock already had a hand on the door, used to the answer.
"No you may not." He froze, not used to that answer.
"Why are you hiding in your bedroom?"
"Ask your mother!"
With a sigh Spock retreated although the next to try was Sarek, "Terra, this must be finished sometime."
"Yes and when you can explain to me the justice or moral implications that I have to suffer through three days of pain and feeling like I'm dying just because I didn't get myself pregnant that month I will be happy to finish this conversation."
… "Amanda, can you come here?"
Terra did eventually sit through the rest of the topic and move on with her life, she doesn't even lock herself in her room anymore- well… not EVERY time.
When she was fifteen Sarek sort of lost a bet to his wife that the girl couldn't beat him in a game of chess.
Because after fifty games... she beat him.
Also, she had the "future conversation" with Spock one night when she really couldn't fall asleep.
She was lying on the floor against his bed with her holopad in her hand doing work as Spock meditated. She was being very quiet and respectful before she caught the time and decided she should really try to get to bed.
Rising form her spot on the floor she yawned before taking a few steps towards the door, "Terra?" Spock's far-off voice questioned.
Tired but anxious she answered, "Yes Spock?" She took into account the fact that he wasn't out of his meditation yet and had simply felt her leaving telepathically.
Patiently Terra waited for Spock to pull himself out of meditation before she actually expected him to say something, when he did, she wished she hadn't waited, "What do you want to do?"
Trying to be quick she responded, "I suppose sleep is my primary concern if my brain allows."
Terra walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge of it instead of right in the middle because she knew what he was actually asking, although he did clarify, "No I meant to ask what would you want to do in the future?"
"I have to join Starfleet, they sent me here technically and have been monitoring me ever since. After that I may teach, maybe work on a ship." Spock noticed the twinkle in her eye when she mentioned working on a ship, "What about you?"
Spock nervously (At least, seemingly nervously to Terra) looked at the wall, "I believe the logical thing to do is become fully Vulcan and rid myself of all emotion."
With an accepting nod Terra retook her usual stature on Spock's bed although she had grown quite a bit since she was nine. She reached forward to touch her hand with his like Pike does with her sometimes if she shows nervousness or upset, before she recoiled in remembrance, "I'm sorry, I forgot and permission to speak freely?"
Spock barely seemed to notice Terra's little slip but he did, instead of holding it against her, he contributed it to her tired mind, "Granted." He thought she'd be great on a ship.
"I know what my opinion may not be needed or even make a difference but you told me that 'one cannot prefer' but make the logical choice. I do not believe this choice should completely logical and I think that's all I need to say."
Spock and Terra just looked at each other for a moment before he spoke, "Thank you for your opinion on the matter, it has been noted."
With a slight scoff the girl nodded, "Your welcome Spock, plus you are stuck with me until who-knows-when so you will have to put up with me coming in that door and complaining about my day or telling you some grand story and you better be ready every time!"
Spock resisted the urge to chuckle but he allowed a small smile at her, "I do not recall anytime my door has been closed to you, nor anytime that I hope it will be."
Smiling hugely Terra ran her fingers through her hair, "Good to know, but I just wish I could get to sleep for now."
Without another word Spock moved all the things off his bed and reached out his hand. Hesitantly she knew when holding his hand to hold his fore arm or wrist and he moved her so she sat next to him on the bed against the pillows. Holding up his right hand right in front of her face she remembered his telepathic abilities could in theory put her to sleep, "May I?"
She shook her head, "You don't have to ask." And in a second his fingers pressed into her skin and she felt it. At first she didn't know how to respond and her body went stiff but she felt her eye lids droop as she could almost imagine Spock entering her brain and she could almost see the door. Spock could feel every emotion in her and he had to move through the mess of them without touching them or else she may just start laughing or break down and cry but he definitely didn't want the latter. If this was how her brain was with emotions he never wanted to deal with a untrained human mind. Terra felt emotions from Spock however and she was amazed.
It didn't matter, soon Spock's hand slipped behind her neck and the other came to her waist and supported her as he laid her back on the pillows. He didn't think this through for some reason… he blamed it on exhaustion.
Logically he could just go sleep in her room or just share the bed but then he remembered what she had said and looked to see a pillow on the ground where she had been sitting. Silently he crept into the hallway cupboard and grabbed some blankets. He laid them out on the ground and put his fingers to Terra's head once more. He told himself it was to ensure no unforeseen complications. Once he was sure she was okay he fell asleep peacefully in his bed on the ground.
The next morning Spock had a terrible pain in his neck but it was worth it to see a well-rested Terra; even if said well rested Terra was scolding Spock for not making her move from his bed.
When she was sixteen, Terra got a Vulcan award in mathematics which caused a bit of an uproar due to the fact that it was a Vulcan award being given to a human but the verdict stood.
Also she made another trip to Earth with Amanda, only this one was different. Amanda asked her if she was going to "settle down" one day.
"I am unaware of the phrase settle down." Terra said while staring out the window at the beautiful scene of Earth.
Amanda was expecting a response as such, "Get married, have children."
Terra narrowed her eyes at the older woman kiddingly, "You speak with such a loving tone that I would almost believe you think settling down to be good."
Laughing Amanda just shook her head, "It's up to you, but I know it can be strange dating someone from a different species and you've lived on Vulcan for so long I understand humans now seem like the different species."
Luckily this did not spur another "Great Disappearance" although Terra considered it; however they were in a transport carrier so she found the concept an unwise plan. Instead she simply nodded, "Thank you for your understanding but I trust my concepts of humanism aspects." She has plenty of fiction books that include romance; she just read them like normal books, from the logical point of view.
Amanda nodded hiding a smile at the girl, she found it so amusing that there was a human who acted so much like a Vulcan that she easily saw the similarities, "Alright, as long as you are aware." Terra nodded before her holopad made the message received noise and Terra cursed herself for forgetting to turn it off after the last charge session, "And who would that be from?"
Shrugging it off Terra took out the holopad with a face of apathy, "It appears Spock."
The mother's face turned to worry at the mention of her son, "Is everything alright?"
Again with a shrug Terra explained it simply, "I presume he is, we often message about the course of the day and play chess during these trips, but generally my message alert is silent."
Amanda raised an eyebrow at the explanation but Terra wasn't watching as he face was glued to the screen while her eyes gazed over it, "What do you message about?" She had a knowing smile on her face as the girl had the ghost of one on hers.
"General things, events or happenings."
Terra looked up at a Amanda speculative, "His last message read, 'How is the ride? I trust uneventful.'"
Amanda remembered the day when she first brought terra home with Sarek. She remembered Spock questioning their motives numerous times and the look of curiosity Spock would continuously be giving the poor girl. He didn't understand her and she was too timid in the new place to speak to anyone but now even Amanda could see that now Spock enjoyed the girl's company, "Well that's nice of him."
Absentmindedly Terra nodded as she poked around on the holopad and the ride continued to their destination, uneventfully- as Spock would say.
At seventeen it was required for every student to register their next hopeful step in education and it was to be done at home through a holopad connection survey form. It was the topic of conversation that night at the dinner table.
"Spock do you have an alternative to attending the Academy?" Sarek spoke tonelessly and Spock was surprised at the question before he looked across the table to Terra who didn't catch his stare due to her attention being on Amanda's food.
After clearing his throat Spock responded, "I was planning on Starfleet being my 'plan b', as it is sometimes termed." This got Terra to look up at him but neither showed emotion as they both knew better.
Sarek's voice was cold and quick, "And why is that?"
"I would be helpful there."
Terra added her own bit before Sarek could get another disapproving mention out, "Not to mention that the probability of Spock not getting into the Vulcan Academy of Science is so small that I barely see a reason for a 'plan b', as it is termed."
Sarek and Amanda both looked at Terra's boldness before Amanda nodded, "I agree with Terra."
Finally the oldest man was silenced as he simply went back to eating his food and Terra gave a silent nod to Spock before they all did the same, well then Spock opened his mouth, "Terra I think you should apply to an Academy."
Terra promptly choked on her vegetable as she heard him before regaining composure and catching how Sarek and Amanda were consciously ignoring this conversation, "Spock I don't have a choice in my future, I am going back to Starfleet."
"But you getting accepted would make a much more significant event, seeing how you're human."
"But I wouldn't get accepted."
"You've won more Vulcan awards than half the other number of individuals getting accepted."
"But I'm not Vulcan!" Terra's voice rose just to the point that Sarek looked up to glare at her scolding, "My apologies." He nodded and accepted it.
"I have a plan b why shouldn't you?"
"I am already accepted at Starfleet, a plan b isn't needed."
"But if you got accepted?"
Terra paused, "Then further thought and contemplation would be required on the matter."
"What would it cost you to simply have an alternative?"
Terra didn't have a response so she nodded, "Thank you Spock, your thoughts have been noted." Before returning to her meal.
That night she put her two options down, just as Spock did but flipped.
Soon the two of them were eighteen and their decisions came back to hit them.
Terra sat with Spock patiently on a bench waiting to be talked to about the Academy.
Spock was dressed in simple black pants and boots with a heavy formal cardigan styled sweater while Terra a short green tweed styled dress with black pants as well although they simply showed a shape while Spock's didn't cling to him. She also carried the tradition of wearing a head piece although this one was brown, to match her green and brown dress. In Terra's mind, if she's getting shot down because she's a human she might as well push it.
Neither had spoken but Terra was doing everything she could not to be shaking in her seat even though it didn't even matter. Spock was even worse.
"Spock, are you nervous?" Terra asked quietly because even though there was no one around this was still Vulcan and noises traveled.
Spock stood and began to pace, "Terra, what do you think I should do?"
Terra instantly knew what this about and remained seated to answer, "I believe the choice is yours Spock."
"But you have emotions."
"I do." Terra smiled.
Spock paused his pacing to look at her, "And if I chose not to have them-"
"I will not take it personally because there would be no reason to."
"But what about my mother?"
"You'd have to ask her. But I'd hurry if you want to do it before you walk into that room." Spock returned Terra's smile with a flash of one of his own before he took off at a fast paced respectful walk down the corridor.
By the time he returned Terra was gone and he knew she had gone in. He waited outside the giant doors to the room pacing down to the end of the hall and back.
When Spock saw her form exit from the room he could tell by her stride, her straight shoulders, and her facial composition that she did not get in. Waiting till he was close enough to her to speak normally he called, "Terra." But she shook her head furiously and Spock thought her eyes were tightly closed as she tried to brush past him but his hand on her shoulder stopped her, "Terra?"
She stopped, her chest heaved with one large breath and her eyes opened, "Yes Spock?"
Now that she was listening Spock didn't know what to say. He removed his hand and watched her as he could see a million things running through her head, "I'm sorry." He knew it was unnessacary but still he didn't know what else to say.
"For what? I'll just go with what I was planning on initially. But Spock? Personal query?"
A small smile appeared on the girl's face, "Permission to speak freely?"
"Granted." Spock smirked back at her knowing this only happened rarely these days as she usually didn't care about the answer.
Terra had spent enough time on Earth to be a child of the two planets and right now, she was more of one to Vulcan but she knew she'd be leaving for sure now. In a fluid motion her arms wrapped around Spock's neck and Spock was shocked as his hands naturally rested on her waist as he didn't quite know how to handle this.
She didn't let go however until she felt him relax and hug her back, then she took one step back keeping her hands on his shoulders and nodded to him with a smile, "You are going to be fantastic." Her voice was so confident that Spock almost believed her and then he heard his name called from the room.
Spock watched her take one step back and her hands fell from his shoulders but instead of walking away he acted almost completely on emotion by reaching out and taking her falling hand, only lightly squeezing it before letting it go and walking into the room without another look. Meanwhile Terra stood there shocked. For a Vulcan to touch hands with anyone was considered only a complete act of trust and affection.
She could only look around stupefied before shrugging with a smile and walking around. Finally she decided to wait on the other side of the hall, leaning against the windows to look at the planet and it's building.
Then came a murmur and Terra focused on the sound that was carrying from the room until lshe noticed the door was kept open, "Council I'm afraid I must decline."
Everything after that was only just low enough that she couldn't hear it but she saw Spock stalking out of the room with a self-satisfied look going towards her and she raised an eyebrow, "I take it that went well?"
Spock half rolled his eyes and Terra knew he was reveling in him new rebelling persona as he leaned next to her and nodded, "So when so we leave for Earth?"
"Spock, be honest, are you sure you don't want to go back and beg forgiveness and have your wonderful Vulcan life?" Terra knew that Earth wasn't Spock's favorite place, despite the number of times he had gone with them to visit, "Plus, Sarek?"
Spock resolutely clasped his hands together in front of him and spoke coldly, "Father will respect my choice and I don't intend to change it."
Terra looked at Spock, "Spock, please don't tell me I affected your decision in any way?"
Surely he shook his head, "Not at all Terra, you're my friend but your opinion didn't force my hand in any influence."
Smiling Terra turned to her friend, "I leave tomorrow for Earth's Star fleet Academy base in California."
Spock turned to her with a hidden smile, "And I will be joining you." Then his eyes fell to a figure behind her and she turned although she already knew who he looked at.
"Go talk to him, I'll see you at home." Terra said quietly before walking away briskly and giving a nod of greeting to her, now old, mentor, "Sarek."
"Terra." He replied as she kept walking knowing that neither Vulcan would be in a good mood later.
The following morning Amanda went with Terra and Spock to the carrier. Sarek chose not to.
The doors closed and Terra safely left the planet she had grown up on for the last time, with her friend by her side.