Ok the usual thanks to everyone. You are all amazing.
This chapter again I am not happy with, it's a bit everywhere and if I'm honest I think it's a bit shit but it's going up. I can make it up to you all next time.
Cowtrippedonthemoon: Thanks I'm always happy when you review.
Simplyathinker: Still glad you liked Aria.
Spemily: Urgh! I am dying to write hot Spemily scenes. Its killing me!
RSSJ: I hope I do as well with her in this chapter.
CloudGypsy: I don't recommend washing your face because you might drown.
Beautifuldreamerr: She had to walk in on their kisses. It was such a Hanna thing to do. Thank you it's from years of practising on my pillow haha. I'm totally kidding.
Fender18: Well you are like the queen of Spemily fanfiction so I can't believe you actually read my story. It is much appreciated. I can't wait for them to be official either, they need to be soon. I'm so glad you like the story and yeah they definitely are soul mates.
So we all know I don't own it, it hasn't changed.
Enjoy and please keep reviewing.
The next day Hanna had managed to convince Emily to go to the mall with her. Spencer was pretty sure it was so she could get information out of her about their relationship, but she didn't mind. She was kind of relieved that the girls knew and had taken it so well, she felt a little bit stupid for having thought they would do anything but take it in stride. They had all been through so much together it would take more than this to cause tension.
Aria was still with Spencer, it had been so long since they had spent any time together they had decided to do something together this afternoon. The two girls had just finished getting ready and Spencer, to her horror, had discovered there was no coffee at all in the barn. So the girls were making their way over to the main house to hunt some out. As they entered the kitchen they saw Veronica Hastings sat at the island reading through some notes, she looked up with a smile when she heard the girls enter. "Morning girls, where are the other two?" She enquired.
"Morning Mrs Hastings" Aria greeted.
"Hey Mom. Hanna forced Em to go to the mall with her" Spencer explained.
"Typical" Veronica said light heartedly with a shake of her head. "So what do you two have planned for today?"
"We were thinking we might go to The Grille for lunch" Aria answered.
"That sounds lovely girls. It's been a while since you've seen each other, it'll be good to catch up" Veronica smiled. "Oh and Spencer there's some mail on the counter for you" she addressed her daughter who was busy dealing with the coffee maker. "Its post marked Washington DC. Maybe it's about the internship you applied for"
Spencer stiffened, she'd forgotten entirely about the internship. She walked over to the envelope on the counter top, it felt heavy. She didn't know if she was excited about or dreading opening the letter, Spencer had so wanted to go to DC wen she'd applied. It was an amazing opportunity and along with UPenn would make her a shoe in for jobs in the future. But now the thought of being in Washington DC for months didn't seem so appealing anymore.
Aria walked over to where Spencer stood holding the envelope in her hands, just staring down at it. She placed her hand on Spencer's arm comfortingly. "Are you ok Spence?" she asked gently.
Spencer spoke without looking away from the letter. "Yeah. I just forgot about this that's all" she said flatly.
The timer beeped on the coffee machine, Spencer distractedly walked over and poured three mugs of the liquid. She placed one in front of her mother who silently thanked her with a smile and passed one to Aria. The small brunette took in Spencer's dazed expression. "Come on, let's take these into the other room" Aria said. "Bye Mrs Hastings" she threw over her shoulder as she towed Spencer out of the room.
Spencer blindly followed her small friend and allowed herself to be pulled down onto the couch. "Ok so I've purposely not asked you anything about Emily while Hanna was here, but now I think it's time that you spill" Aria said as blew on her steaming coffee.
Spencer set her mug down on the coffee table but kept the still unopened envelop clutched in her left hand. "What do you want to know?" she asked. "I can't promise I will be able to answer many of your questions though"
Aria smiled gently at Spencer. "I'll start out simply then. How long have you known?" she asked her nervous looking friend.
Spencer sighed, "Emily and I stated spending more time together when she and Paige broke up. She was a mess and she needed a friend and that's what I was. But the more time I spent with her the more time I wanted to spend with her, I didn't think much of it at the time. It wasn't until she went to New York; I missed everything about her Aria. I missed her laugh and her smile, I missed her light. That was the first time that I realised that I saw her differently. But I also kinda realised that I don't see her differently at all. I've always seen her as this beautiful, strong young woman, I've always wanted to take her into my arms and protect her from the world and I've always been reluctant to believe that anyone she likes is good enough or worthy of her. When she was gone I missed her warmth and the comfort I hadn't realised she has always offered me. I guess that weekend I just defined what I think has always been there" Spencer finished explaining before looking up at Aria who was examining her over the rim of her coffee mug.
"So you've always liked her?" Aria asked after a few seconds.
"Yes and No" Spencer answered, pausing to think about how to word her explanation. "It's not like I feel like I've been fighting this for years. I've never noticed it before now. But this doesn't feel like a huge revelation to me. It feels like everything has been leading up to this, whether we knew it or not. Does that make sense?" Spencer asked frustrated.
"Yeah I think it does Aria answered softly. "This might seem like a stupid question but do you want to be with Emily? Like do you want to commit to her? Because you know this can't just be a fling. Emily has been through so much and had her heart broken so many times."
Spence smiled ruefully. "I want to be with her very much" she stated firmly. "I can't describe how it feels to be around her. How amazing it is to have someone that I can be completely myself around, that I know inside-out, but I'm figuring out this whole new side of her that I didn't even contemplate existed. I don't question whether I want her Aria, I never have. I question…" Spencer paused wondering whether to voice her real issue. "I question if I can deal with people seeing me as 'not straight' before they see me" she admitted.
"Spencer the people that matter will always see you first. The fact that you're with Emily or any other girl or guy or whoever will just be a fact about you. It won't define you" Aria reassured as she set her mug down on the table and leant towards Spencer. "You've just spent ten minutes talking to me about Emily, you've described her as a lot of things but not once have you referred to her as gay. Because it doesn't matter right?" Aria paused and Spencer shook her head no. "You like her because she's Emily, not gay. And we love you no matter what. No matter how you choose to define yourself or not define yourself"
Spencer swallowed hard and tried not to cry at Aria's words, she loved her friend so much for not pressuring her to label herself or asking the question that Spencer dreaded 'Are you gay?' She didn't know the answer to that, was she gay? She was kissing a girl and thinking about doing more with a girl, wanting to do more with a girl. She looked up at aria with watery eyes. "Are you really ok with this Aria?" she asked quietly.
Aria sighed and waited a beat before answering. "Honestly Spence, it does worry me a little. I'm worried about the effect this could have on us all if you try this and it doesn't work out. I don't want us to lose contact again. But we've been pulled apart and found our way back before, I'm pretty confident that there's nothing we can't survive." Aria paused and took hold of Spencer's hand making the taller girl look her in the eyes. I want you to be happy and I want Emily to be happy. God knows you both deserve it. If you can help each other out with that then I'm all for it"
Spencer squeezed Aria's fingers. "I really lucked out getting you as a best friend Aria"
Aria smiled brightly. "I know you Spence, I can see how carefully you're thinking about this. I also know you wouldn't hurt Emily for the world. So I'll respect your decision whatever it is. I'm always here for you" She said earnestly.
"I'm always here for you" Spencer returned in an emotional voice.
Aria looked at the envelope Spencer was still fiddling with in her other hand. "I'm guessing Emily is one of the reasons you're not so sure about this internship anymore." She stated.
Spencer nodded her head solemnly. "Emily is the only reason I'm not sure" she confirmed. "Everything is so up in the air right now. It doesn't feel right to admit my feelings, have her put her life on hold while I figure my shit out and then just leave"
"Emily won't see it like that" Aria reassured.
"Maybe I don't want to be away from her for that long" Spencer admitted quietly.
"It might be good for you. It might give you space to think things through properly" The brunette suggested.
"I don't know. What if she forgets about me?" Spencer almost whispered.
"Well that is the stupidest thing you've ever said" Aria said sternly. "How could she forget about you?"
"What if she finds someone else?" Spencer asked looking at Aria desperately.
"Open the letter" is all Aria replied.
With shaking hands Spencer ripped open the envelope, she took a deep breath before she slid out the sheets of paper. Her eyes scanned the words, she wasn't quite able to take them in. Spencer quickly pushed the papers into Aria's hands and looked at her with lost eyes.
Aria read the letter aloud. "Dear Miss Hastings. I am delighted to offer you an internship with the 'Legal Studies Institute' of Washington DC. You have been placed at the 'Law Offices of Michael F. Black', please find enclosed the information and business address of this firm. We will work in conjunction with the University of Pennsylvania to ensure that you have all the credits you need to progress with your course. Your internship will begin March 17 and will terminate May 23, please ensure you are in Washington DC at least two days before your start date for orientation and to familiarise yourself with the area. Also enclosed is all the information about your accommodation while staying in Washington DC. Please confirm that you have received this letter and that all the information is correct. If your circumstances have changed and you no longer wish to take part in the internship programme please let us know as soon as possible. We expect to hear from you within ten working days. Congratulations Miss Hastings."
Emily and Hanna had been at the mall for well over an hour but had only been into two stores. For Emily it was more like being Hanna's pack mule than shopping, the blonde was in the process of piling yet more clothes into Emily's already full arms.
"Can we get lunch after this Han? I'm starving" Emily whined.
"One more store and then food" Hanna called over her shoulder causing Emily to groan. Hanna turned around "I want to go to Victoria's Secret and I can't try on sexy underwear if I'm bloated from lunch" she stated as she scanned the shop and spotted the fitting rooms. "Besides you could get something for Spencer to enjoy, a little early Christmas present" Hanna added with a wink.
Emily looked away as her cheeks flushed, she played it off as embarrassment but in reality the flush came more from arousal. The thought of Spencer seeing her in sexy underwear, and what that would lead to made her breath catch a little. "We're not there yet" Emily pointed out, much to her own disappointment.
"Maybe you would get there if she saw you in something lacy and see through" Hanna smirked.
Emily rolled her eyes as she made it into the fitting room. "Just go and try your clothes on" She said dumping the pile of clothes she was carrying in a stall.
Forty minutes later Emily was still following Hanna around but at least now they were finally in 'Victoria's Secret' and they would be getting lunch soon. Hanna turned to face Emily holding up two bras, one was hot pink with lace detail and the other was a pretty plain black lace push up. "Which one do you think?" she asked as she held each one against herself in turn.
"Well the black one is more practical" Emily said.
"Practical?" Hanna almost shouted. "I want sexy not practical. Even my Grandma wouldn't have answered like that Em. I'm getting the pink" she said as she threw the pink bra into her basket. "Now do I get the thing or the panties that show off just a bit of ass?" Hanna asked. "Remember sexy"
Emily shook her head. "The Panties are sexier" she said as she took them out of Hanna's hand and dumped them in her basket. "Now come on its lunch time" she said impatiently.
"Nope we're not done" Hanna said with a smirk.
"What?" Emily exclaimed. "But we got your sexy shit for Caleb"
"Yes but we didn't get anything for you" Hanna answered with a mischievous grin.
"I told you we're not having sex yet. I don't need anything" Emily protested.
"You will be eventually and until then you could always tease her with a few flashes of the assets" Hanna said bumping shoulders with Emily.
Emily couldn't help but laugh a little at her blond friend. "You are so loving this aren't you?" she asked.
"Yes, so let me have my fun" Hanna tried but gained a sceptical look from Emily. "Come on. Where's the Emily that made Paige do a strip tease on webcam"
"Hanna" Emily reprimanded but but smirked despite herself.
"There she is" Hanna said with a huge smile.
"Ok" Emily conceded. "But I get final say. Spencer's enough like a teenage boy on heat as it is" Emily said without thinking.
"Oh my god really? That is classic" Hanna laughed. The blonde began scanning the store, her eyes landed on something on the other side of the store and a smirk spread across her face. "You stay over at Spencer's a lot right?"
"Yes" Emily answered cautiously.
"Then I have an idea" Hanna said conspiratorially as she grabbed Emily's arm and dragged her across the store.
Emily looked at the rails that Hanna had stopped in front of and knew her friend was on to something. Her attention was caught be something high up on the left and she knew it would drive Spencer crazy but she could play it off as being innocent. She picked it up and held it against her for Hanna's judgment. Hanna cocked her head to one side as she took in Emily.
"Are you sure you want Spencer?" The blonde asked out of the blue.
"Yeah I am. Why?" Emily said letting the garment drop away from her body as she tried to get her head around the sudden change in topic.
"Because if you weren't I'm pretty sure I could be swayed if I saw you in that" Hanna said with an entirely serious voice.
Emily burst out laughing. "So that is a yes then?"
"That is a yes" Hanna replied.
Later that evening Spencer was lying on her bed with her acceptance letter in her hands, she had read it at least ten times throughout the day hoping she could divine from it a way to deal with the situation she now found herself in. Over dinner her mother had asked her about the letter and, unwilling to lie, she had told them she had been accepted. They had been thrilled of course and seemed entirely perplexed by her sudden lack of enthusiasm. There were times that she was excited at the prospect of figuring out how a law firm worked from the inside and getting to discover a whole new city. But the rest of the time she was nervous, nervous about being away from Emily, nervous about taking a hiatus on their relationship when it was still so new and delicate. She just wanted to write to whoever it was she had to and tell them that she didn't the internship anymore, she didn't want to leave the amazing girl that it had taken her so long to realise was everything she wanted. But she knew she couldn't do that, she knew that if she wanted herself and Emily to have an adult, functional relationship she had to discuss this with her.
Spencer sighed and picked up her cell phone, she paused taking a deep breath before she typed out a message.
Spencer: Hi Emily. Are you busy right now? Xx
As she sat waiting for a reply she re-read her acceptance letter again. It wouldn't be the end of the world if she went to DC right? It wasn't that far. It wasn't that long. Her phone chimed.
Emily: Hey Spence. No I'm not really doing anything. Just watching TV with my Mom. Xx
Spencer hurried out a message back before she had chance to change her mind.
Spencer: Can I come over for a little bit?There's something I need to talk to you about. Xx
She got up and started pacing her room, she was nervous about how Emily was going to react to the bombshell she was about to drop. But she couldn't help the little ping of excitement that erupted in her chest at the thought of being alone with Emily, with no tests she had to cram for or paper she had to write. She heard her phone go off again.
Emily: Nothing good ever follows that sentence. But sure, come over whenever. Xx
Spencer wanted to tell Emily that everything was fine, that it didn't matter, that she didn't really need to talk to her. It was all just a ruse to make her see her and then she would run home and write out a letter saying she didn't want the internship. But she knew she couldn't.
Spencer: I'll be there in 10 minutes. Xx
Emily reached for the door knob nervously when she heard Spencer knock, her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. What could Spencer have to talk to her about so desperately that she had to come round right now? Was she second guessing her feelings? Had being in Rosewood made everything too real? Was she freaking out now that Hanna and Aria knew about the two of them? There was only one way to find out; she pulled open the front door. Spencer smiled sadly at her when they made eye contact and Emily knew immediately that something was wrong.
"Hi" Spencer said quietly.
"Spencer, are you ok?" Emily asked cautiously.
"Yeah I'm fine. It's not as bad as you're thinking" Spencer reassured when she saw the mild panic in Emily's eyes.
Emily just nodded her head gently and stepped aside to let Spencer in. They made their way into the house heading for Emily's room but were cut off by Pam.
"Hi sweetie" Pam greeted.
"Hi Mrs Fields" Spencer replied with a small smile.
"I'd ask you how you've been but I think I already know. Every time I call Emily she talks about you" The older woman laughed.
This time Spencer smiled a genuine smile, she looked across at Emily, the other girl was refusing to make eye contact and was blushing furiously. "Yeah we spend a lot of time together" she said lightly.
Pam smiled brightly and Spencer was struck by how similar Emily and her mom were. Spencer had always been a little intimidated by Pam Fields; she was a military wife through and through. But as Spencer got older the intimidation had begun to fade and she now saw where Emily got her light and inner strength from. "I'm so happy you two ended up together" Pam said.
Spencer almost laughed out loud at the double meaning in Pam's words that were totally lost on the older woman. "Me too" Spencer said as she caught Emily's eye.
Emily cleared her throat. "Mom we're gonna go up to my room ok?" she asked addressing the older woman.
"Sure sweetheart" Pam said before tuning to Spencer. "If it gets late you're welcome to spend the night"
"Thanks Mrs Fields" Spencer said as she followed Emily up the stairs. When they made it to the bedroom Emily sat on her bed and looked at Spencer nervously, the swimmer was pretty sure her heart had been trying to beat out of her chest since she got the first text from Spencer. The paler girl had closed the bedroom door behind her and stood rigidly in front of it.
"Spencer what's going on?" Emily asked with a frown.
Spencer took a deep breath and began wringing her hands together distractedly. "I need to tell you something" She practically whispered.
Emily got up from the bed and walked over to Spencer, she took the other girls hands in her own to stop her fidgeting. "You're scaring me" Emily admitted. "Please just tell me what's going on."
"Can we sit down?" Spencer asked as a way to start, she began walking them over to the window seat.
Using their still entwined hands to halt their progress Emily pulled Spencer to her bed instead. She hadn't been able to sit on her window seat since she'd been back in Rosewood. It still felt like Paige's space.
They perched on the edge of the bed and turned to face one another. Spencer looked into Emily's eyes and launched into her story while she felt a sudden rush of courage. "When I first got to UPenn I applied for an internship programme. But because I'm a total idiot I forgot all about it with one thing or another" she paused to gauge Emily's reaction, the swimmer nodded gently telling her to carry on. "This morning I got a letter and I got the internship."
"That's fantastic Spence" Emily said enthusiastically. She took in Spencer's almost pained expression. "It is fantastic right?"
"Yeah it is" Spencer answered hesitantly.
"I sense a but" Emily pushed.
"It's in Washington DC Spencer replied quietly.
"Oh" Emily breathed, realising now what was bothering Spencer so much. "How long will you be gone?" she asked terrified to hear the answer.
Spencer looked down at their still linked hands. "I might not be going yet" she said refusing to meet Emily's eyes.
"What?" Emily asked shocked. "Why not? This is an amazing opportunity for you"
"Well it depends" Spencer said swallowing hard.
Emily scooted closer to Spencer sensing the other girls distress. "It depends on what?" she asked as she placed a comforting hand on Spencer's knee.
Spencer looked across as Emily's hand on her leg, the simple touch seeming to calm her beyond imagination. Could she do without this? She asked herself. Could she do without Emily's calming influence and the clarity she provided? She looked back up at Emily's patient eyes. "It depends on you" Spencer admitted.
Emily's heart melted a little bit at hearing Spencer admit that she was factoring her in so much on an important decision in her life. "Spencer, how long will you be gone?" she asked again picking up on how Spencer was avoiding answering that question and beginning to fear the worst.
Spencer looked away from Emily's face again. "From March 17 to May 23"
"Two months?" Emily asked incredulously. "You almost made me have a heart attack because you are moving like three hours away for two months?" Emily practically shouted. "You are such an idiot" she said as she pulled her hand out of Spencer's and shoved her in the shoulder.
Spencer's head snapped up to look at Emily; this was not the reaction she was expecting. "Are you mad?" she asked confused.
Emily sighed taking in Spencer's lost look and calmed down a little. "No I'm not mad at you" she reassured and saw Spencer flood with relief. "You made me think you were coming here to tell me you couldn't do this anymore" she admitted quietly. But then her temper flared up again a little and she said a little louder. "And then when you told me about the internship, the way you acted made me think you were going away for two years not two months" She started pacing around the room trying to get rid of some of the nervous tension that had built up inside her.
"Sorry" Spencer said quietly.
Emily turned to face the sheepish looking girl. "You are going on that internship" she said adamantly. "You're going to have an amazing time in DC, you are going to be the best intern that place has ever seen" she smiled a little at Spencer's open mouthed expression. "And I'm going to come and visit you. I've always wanted to see DC"
Spencer laughed lightly as she stood up to meet Emily; she slipped her arms around the swimmers neck. "Really?" she asked.
"Really" Emily assured as she brought her hands up to rest on Spencer's hips. "We can do two months Spence. I promise"
Spencer smiled a wide smile as she took in Emily's features, she couldn't be more happy than she was right now. She wasn't losing Emily, she had an amazing, supportive, kind person in her life and she was stood in front of her again promising to wait for her. She leant forward and placed a kiss on forehead "You are amazing you know?" she asked sincerely.
"I've been told once or twice" Emily joked fluttering her eyelashes.
"I'm sure you have" Spencer agreed as she closed the distance between them and gave Emily a lingering kiss on the lips.
They pulled away and rested their foreheads together. "Come on, you can tell me how your lunch with Aria went" Emily said as she moved away and climbed onto the bed, patting the space next to her.
Spencer lay down close to Emily's body and looked around the room contentedly; her eyes fell on the shopping bags on Emily's desk."Em did you go to Victoria's Secret today?" she asked excitedly.
"Oh…Yeah" Emily said with a smirk. Spencer tried to scramble off the bed but was stopped by Emily. "Where do you think you are going?"
"To see" Spencer replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Emily pulled her back down onto her back on the bed next to her, she then leant over her so their faces were surrounded by a curtain of black hair. "You could" she whispered as she leant down and pecked Spencer's lips. "Or you could wait to see me wearing it" she finished seductively.
"Shit" Spencer whimpered as she felt heat pool between her thighs and Emily's lips on her own again.
I love you all. Thanks for reading!