KissMeDeadlyT-T: A SMUT THING OH WOW. This is for Rei Kiri :) I hope you enjoy it mm yis welcome to the pervy insides of my mind

Also I'm still pretty insecure about writing smut even though I've been told a million times that I'm not that bad at it but I still asdsegryhebf it's hard okay? (PUN INTENDED HUEHUE) In all honesty, I don't know what it is… I just feel incompetent. I'm going to keep trying though, because others seem to like it well enough even though I'm not satisfied with it.

Sorry, rant over.

Don't own FMA and don't read this if you don't like yaoi, RoyEd or lemony blowjobs and shiz 'cause that's what this is.


Damn, he'd missed this.

He'd gone too long without it, and now he was as desperate for it as a man who had gone days without water. The deliciously languid kisses, slow and deep and wet, that made hot tingles of desire and lust spread up his spine and fall into a buzzing coil in the pit of his abdomen; the feeling of nervous and excited butterflies fluttering in his stomach; the heat of their bodies pressed together, even with rumpled clothes in the way, and the simultaneous solidity and tenderness of strong arms around his waist. It was quiet except for the occasional muffled moan and the slick sound of wet lips moving on wet lips— it was peaceful and passionate and hot and it was home.

He felt those fingers tugging lightly at his braid. Moments later, his hair was tumbling down his back in heavy, golden waves, brushing the back of his neck and making a small shiver run down his spine. Hands tangled in his hair and tugged lightly. A content sigh fell from his lips and he pushed back harder against the demanding mouth on his own, beginning to feel a bit desperate. His hair had always been a particularly weak spot.

For the past four weeks, he'd been stationed at the Cretan border with Alphonse, investigating the cause of some recent outbreaks and riots. At first he'd been indignant, claiming this type of mission wasn't what he did. Then, there had been that thin lipped smirk and the casual mention that there may or may not be information on a way to get their bodies back somewhere around the areas of outbreak, and he'd given in. In the end, they didn't learn anything— it was just the same damn thing over and over again— and in Edward's opinion, the whole thing had been a waste of time. Four weeks of complete and utter bullshit that had made him grit his teeth to the point of a migraine more times than he'd like to count.

If Alphonse had noticed his brother's increased irritability, he hadn't said anything. Not only did Ed hate the mission, but he'd also been having something like… withdrawals, as ridiculous as it sounded, from the Colonel. Rushed phone calls and heated conversations just weren't good enough. He was sure Al had noticed— after all, Al could read him as easily as an open book— but thankfully, the younger Elric hadn't pried and had even casually given Ed time alone when he was speaking on the phone with Mustang to "inform him about the mission." Still, it wasn't quite the same as feeling a warm body on his, and that had ticked him right off.

Right now, though, he couldn't remember to feel annoyed. Four weeks apart was too hard— harder than it should be. Love it or hate it, he needed Roy Mustang. Some time ago, he would have thought that to be an extremely disturbing thought and probably would have beaten the pulp out of anyone who suggested it. But the feelings of irritation and resentment that used to swell up in his chest whenever he saw the cold, smug face had flared into a desire and need so passionate that it sometimes scared him. A low moan fell from his lips and he trembled as soft fingers brushed along his jaw, a demanding and soft mouth pressing just a bit harder against his own and eliciting another sweet whimper. Too long.

"I missed you." The words were a whisper that danced briefly across his lips and left him shuddering with emotion and need and just everything. He didn't say anything, not quite trusting his voice not to shake, and kissed him again, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling gently. The body beneath him arched instinctively up into his. A husked murmur of approval sounded low in Roy's throat, and Ed felt his cheeks heat up and his heart hammer against his ribcage.

"You did lock the door, right?" Roy said, his voice a bit breathless as he pulled away from the kiss. He nibbled slightly at the pulse point in Ed's throat, waiting patiently for Ed to gather himself and formulate a response.

Finally, Ed managed to swallow and nod. "Yeah," he responded hoarsely. "As soon as I walked in."

"Good," Roy murmured. His tongue swept hotly over the bite mark. Ed bit his lip and tried desperately to fight the instinct to roll his hips downward and grind against the hardness he felt growing in Roy's pants and in his own. He wanted this to last, damn it— he didn't fucking care that they were in Roy's office and that it was quite possibly the least romantic place on the face of the earth. He just wanted this to go on for as long as it possibly could because the past few weeks without it had him feeling strangled and desperate. His body, however, wasn't quite the romantic and just wanted Roy in his pants already.

Roy pulled away first, breathing unevenly. Ed blinked down at him with dark, glazed eyes. He knew his cheeks were flushed, his bangs were plastered to his face, and that he probably looked like a complete mess. He might have felt self-conscious about it if not for the way Roy's eyes darkened and a light flush painted his pale cheeks. Hands reached up to tangle in Ed's hair again and pull him back down as Roy breathed, "You're so fucking gorgeous."

Ed's cheeks turned hotter than ever and muttered something about how Roy was a sappy moron, but he secretly loved the compliments. They made his heart feel funny, like it was trying to do acrobats in his chest. "Don't say that," he muttered, wrapping his arms around Roy's neck and hiding his blazing face into his shoulder. He felt a chuckle vibrate up Roy's throat.

"Why not?" the man said lightly. "It's true."

"It's embarrassing," Ed grumbled, fighting a dorky smile at Roy's sincere words. Roy let out a soft laugh through his nose and shook his head.

"So stubborn," he observed, grinning when Ed's face warmed again on his shoulder. "Suck it up, Edward, you're a looker."

Ed pulled back to give him a watery glare, his face bright red. "Well— you— how about you go fuckin' look in the mirror, then come back and tell me who's the looker, you shit-head."

Roy's grin widened and against all odds Ed felt his face heat up even more. Roy's black hair was messy, bangs falling randomly over his glittering obsidian eyes. His collar was open and his clothes rumpled, and just looking at him made Ed's heart want to jump out of his chest. Where the hell did Roy get off telling Ed he was gorgeous? Roy had to be blind or something because his judgment was really fucked.

"Yes, but I, on the other hand, actually know how to accept a compliment," Roy said smoothly, smirking when Ed glared at him again. He tugged at the bottom of Ed's shirt, and Ed complied, curving his spine away from Roy to make it easier to un-tuck the stubborn black cloth.

"Fine," he finally muttered. "I'll accept it."

"Good," Roy smiled, slipping his hands up and under Ed's shirt. The blond quickly pressed his mouth onto Roy's again to muffle a moan and made fists on Roy's shoulders when he felt warm hands running along his heated skin. There was a prodding at his lips and he willingly parted them, letting out a shaky exhale when their tongues slid together, and moaning softly when Roy's fingers ghosted over his automail scars. He squirmed and gasped and nearly bit down on Roy's tongue trying to mute a strangled cry. The skin there was extremely sensitive and sent ripples of pleasure through his nerves.

"Are you tryin' to kill me?" he breathed, though it came out somewhat garbled and moan-like because Roy chose that moment to slide his tongue slowly along the roof of his mouth and flick his thumb against a pert nipple at the same time. He couldn't quite stop himself from squeaking at the feeling and felt Roy's lips curve up against his. He might have told him to fuck off if not for the fact that he couldn't really think straight or get out anything that wasn't a moan or a whimper or a gasp. Without meaning to, he rubbed himself against Roy, pleasure exploding up his spine when their clothed erections ground together. Roy groaned into the kiss and one hand came down to rub at the sensitive inside of his thigh. Ed squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to keep his vocal cords in check— as much as he wanted to cry out (he knew Roy got off on it, the bastard), he was painfully aware of Roy's staff's presence just outside the door.

"Don't hold back," Roy muttered, flicking his tongue slowly across Ed's bottom lip, earning a muffled whimper. Ed was absolutely trembling with desire and barely managed to formulate a response.

"Th-there's… there's people…" he husked, taking a moment to try and catch his breath— unsuccessfully, as Roy seemed adamant on making him pass out or something— and swallowing another groan before whispering, "C-can't—god…"

"Just do it once. We'll tell them you tripped."

Ed glared at him through fluttering eyelids. "No," he said through harsh pants. "You know that's a bad idea!"

Roy didn't answer and instead ducked his head to nibble at that sensitive spot on Ed's neck again. The hand rubbing at his thigh travelled up and Ed gasped sharply at the sudden pressure on his confined cock. It was such a sweet, painful relief that he let out an involuntary cry and bucked forward, sending Roy's wheeled chair rolling back slightly. He could feel the huge, victorious grin on Roy's lips against his neck and might have smacked him if he'd had the mental capacity to do so.

"Fuck," he wheezed, arching his spine downwards into the touch. Mismatched hands gripped tightly at the back of the leather chair. He rubbed against Roy like a cat, fighting with himself because he really wanted to touch Roy too but this just felt so damn good and it had been so long that he couldn't do anything except turn to putty and grind desperately into the hand squeezing him. There was still that catty smirk at the hollow of his throat. He was about to give another half-assed complaint about the people outside the door, but ended up cutting himself off with a moan as Roy's tongue flicked over his earlobe, which had always been a particularly erogenous spot. He could feel the coiling heat in his stomach tightening and sending little shudders of pleasure through his nerves. His breath hitched in his throat— he wanted to do something for Roy, too, but the hot wetness on his ear and the fingers tweaking his nipple and the hand rubbing between his legs was too much and all he could do was tremble and gasp and sob and try his hardest not to scream in sexual frustration like he wanted to.

He faintly heard something that wasn't the sound of his own heart pounding or the rustling of their clothes rubbing together, but couldn't make himself focus on it. He did, however, feel Roy's hands retreat. Opening his eyes to glare, he was about to ask what the hell Roy thought he was doing when he felt hands on his shoulders, and then he was being shoved (not very gently) underneath the desk.

"What the hell?" he hissed, baring his teeth in an angry growl. He brought his hand between his legs and rubbed the uncomfortable hardness there and saw a fleeting look of anguish flash through Roy's eyes.

"Sorry," the colonel breathed as he hastily closed his collar and fixed his hair. Ed scowled.

"I swear I'm going to kill you."

"I'm sorry," Roy repeated exasperatedly. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Ed was about to snap back that damn right he was going to make it up to him, but then he heard pounding at the door again and felt his blood run cold as the situation slapped him across the face. He met eyes with Roy briefly and nodded in acceptance, though the threat of murder was still present in his eyes. He leaned back and got as comfortable as he could under the desk. Roy rolled his chair closer, probably to look like he'd actually been doing work, Ed supposed. He glared sourly at the side of the desk, trying to ignore the painful throbbing between his legs. This sucked.

"Come in," Roy called, sounding a bit flustered. Ed snorted silently.

"The door's locked!"

Ed could practically hear Roy's eyeroll. "Right," the colonel muttered under his breath, sounding every bit as annoyed as Ed felt. "One moment."

Ed bit his lip as Roy stood up and left him there under the desk. He was really hoping it wasn't someone important, like the Fuhrer— oh god, that would spell the end of his and Roy's relationship and career in a second. All he could do was sit there and hope desperately that it was someone who wasn't important, someone who couldn't fuck this up, someone who couldn't get them both fired and Roy thrown into jail for fornication with an underage subordinate… The thought was almost enough to dampen his libido, but it wasn't quite enough. Frustrated and nervous, he began fiddling with a loose screw in his metal hand.

"So? What do you think I should get her?"

Ed's pounding heart slowed a bit and he let out a sigh of relief. It was Hughes.

"I don't know," came Roy's irritated reply. "She's your wife, how should I know what she likes?"

"You must have some ideas! You certainly know how to woo the other ladies of Central, Roy," Hughes teased. "Why aren't you married? You know, Gracia may not look it, but she's wild in be—"

"That's fantastic for you, Hughes," Roy interrupted curtly. Ed could hear the embarrassment behind the brashness and had to bite down a snicker. "I'm just not interested."

"Not interested?" Hughes echoed exasperatedly. "Why don't you just settle down with one of the women you've been dating?" Then he paused and made a thoughtful sound. "Actually, you haven't been out on a date for a while, have you?" He chuckled. "Is that why you're so damn moody lately?"

"I'm not moody." Roy huffed. "I'm tired, Hughes, there's a difference."

"Pshh. Whatever, Roy, you just need to get laid."

Ed had to resist the urge to rudely interrupt and yell that he'd just been about to get laid. He let out a silent groan, shifting uncomfortably again— he wished Roy would get rid of Hughes so they could finish up, because damn there was almost nothing he hated more than waiting. He jumped and nearly whacked his head when suddenly Roy's feet were back and had to slap a hand to his mouth to quiet his involuntary gasp. Then Roy was sitting down again. He pushed his chair back in, and Ed was left kneeling there in the cramped and dark space with nothing to really look at besides darkness, Roy's boots, or… ohhh. A tiny, evil smirk curved his lips.

He knew that Roy knew full well how much he hated waiting, and he was going to get himself some sweet revenge. He leaned forward on his knees and inched closer to Roy's slightly spread legs, doing his best to be discreet so that Roy wouldn't glance down, and brought his hands up, expertly popping open the button of the man's military pants. Grinning widely, he pulled them open— Roy was still a bit hard from earlier, and Ed had no doubts that he was still horny as hell too. He peeked up at Roy's face to see if he'd noticed— judging from the way his lips were pressed into a tight line and how his eyes were just marginally wider, he had. Grinning wider, Ed lightly ran his palms down the insides of the man's clothed thighs, nuzzled his face between them, and opened his mouth.

Up above, Roy was doing his best to pay attention to what Hughes was saying. He tried to discreetly move one of his hands to shove Ed away, but then felt Ed's mouth on him through his clothes and hastily slapped the hand to his mouth to stifle a gasp. Fuck. Hughes paused and gave him an anxious look.

"You okay?"

"Fine," Roy responded curtly, shoving at Ed's head again. The blond didn't budge, but instead shoved his pants further open and began sucking him through his underwear, and god it wasn't enough but Roy was terrified that Ed would go further because he wouldn't quite be able to keep a straight face and Hughes could read him like a book. He had to bite down a groan and tightened his fingers warningly in Ed's hair. He felt that devilish mouth curl up against his clothed cock and grit his teeth, trying very hard not to smack Edward upside the head. "Hit my knee on my desk," he fibbed, praying to whatever god there may be that Hughes would take the excuse, lest he walk over and see Ed between his legs and go into a screeching fit of parental rage.

"Why don't you get her flowers?" he suggested in an attempt to distract himself from what was happening down below. And— fuck, was Ed… he was. Roy tightened his fingers in Ed's hair until he was sure it must be painful, but Ed continued on tugging him free of his underwear until he was sitting in his chair with his erect penis standing in the open and with Hughes talking less than ten feet away. Hughes began going on a tearful rant about how flowers didn't last long enough to be a true symbol of his eternal love for his wife, but Roy wasn't really listening because Ed chose that moment to run the flat of his tongue up the underside of the shaft, paying special attention to the engorged vein that ran up it and flicking the head messily when he came to the top. His flesh hand gripped loosely at the base and lightly rubbed at the sensitive skin there, his metal one coming up to grip firmly at Roy's thigh and pull his legs further apart. A shudder tore up Roy's back and he doubled over, covering his mouth with his hand and releasing a silent moan into the desk.

Hughes was still talking— but there was no way that Roy could pay attention now, even if he wanted to. Ed's tongue was doing wonderful things that were absolutely horrible right now. He focused mainly on the head, circling it with his tongue a few times and then lazily dragging his tongue down the entire shaft before going back up and repeating the process. Roy trembled on his desk and grit his teeth harder together, trying desperately to keep his breathing in check, but Ed seemed adamant on making him lose control. His metal hand slowly slid from its relaxed position on Roy's thigh and drifted downwards, sliding into the underpants Ed had barely moved out of the way and squeezing lightly. Roy jolted and this time, really did bang his knee on the side of his desk— he'd always been sensitive to temperate change, and the coldness of Ed's metal fingers on his balls was almost too much to handle. Nerves tingling with the already-desperate need for release, he bit the inside of his hand, hoping dreadfully that Hughes was too wrapped up in his rant to notice what was going on.

There was a hand on his shoulder suddenly. He jolted up, positive his eyes were wide and his cheeks flushed. Hughes was giving him an extremely concerned look from the other side of the desk. Roy groaned internally, wishing Ed would stop so that he could fucking concentrate.

"Are you sure you're alright, Roy?" Hughes asked, frowning.

Roy was about to respond that he was fine when Ed decided that it would be a perfect time to shove more than half of Roy's dick into his mouth. An involuntary moan flew from his lips and he gasped, "Yes!" He felt Ed's lips curl up and the blond chuckled lowly, quietly so that Hughes wouldn't hear but the vibrations still managed to run up Roy's shaft and cause him to squirm uncomfortably in his chair. This uniform was getting stifling. Hughes looked dubious now, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. He pursed his lips.

"No, you're not. What's wrong?"

Roy was trying so damn hard to shove Ed away but his hand wasn't listening and instead held the blond in place. Shuddering, he ground out, "My stomach. It's killing me, I think— fuck," he panted as Ed hollowed his cheeks and bobbed his head torturously slow, dragging himself up and down and absolutely driving Roy up the wall. He managed to prop himself up on one elbow and pinched the bridge of his nose, grinding his teeth together in an attempt to concentrate and ignore Ed's sinfully talented mouth. "Sorry, Hughes, I don't— I don't think this is the best time— hahh, shit…"

Hughes started circling the desk, his face troubled, but Roy's free hand shot out and stopped him. "No," he barked. Hughes looked alarmed. "No. Don't come over here, you might— damn… you might catch it," he finally got out, the last bit coming out somewhat high-pitched as Ed suckled at the tip. His entire body was tensing up and the coil in his stomach tightened impossibly— it really didn't take long for Ed to get him to climax like this. The kid had always had a nasty mouth and it turned out swearing wasn't its only foul habit.

Hughes teetered there at the other side of the desk, looking uncertain. "You should lie down for a moment," he said finally. Roy could barely hear him. Ed was drawing it out, that little fucker, and Roy swore to everything he fucking loved that this was going to be the death of him. "Roy?"

"No, I don't— I don't think that's a good idea," Roy managed to get out, struggling to keep his voice steady even as Ed messily sucked him off under the desk. The blond accidentally made a slurping sound that sent ripples of juxtaposed pleasure up Roy's spine and he barely had the sense to hastily cough and cover it up. "Hughes, could you—" He had to stop and grind his teeth together for a moment as Ed hollowed his cheeks again and sucked hard, "Could you grab me some water? Please?"

"Oh." Hughes looked a bit alarmed, but he nodded. "Sure. Hold up, I'll be right back."

As soon as he was gone, Roy growled and sat back, glaring down with venomous eyes at the grinning blond between his legs. "What the hell do you think this is?" he hissed. "Do you know how easily Hughes could have walked over and seen you?"

Ed grinned wider and flicked his tongue across the slit, his eyes darkening to a murky amber when Roy shuddered and fell limp on his chair. "I know," he purred impishly, "but I figured you'd find a way to keep him away. You're a smart man."

"You're dead." Roy wanted his voice to be frigid, but it came out more breathless than he would have liked. "I'm going to actually kill you."

"You wouldn't," Ed shot back with a naughty grin, purposely opening his mouth and slowly dragging his tongue up the throbbing shaft in his hand. Roy gulped at the sight, feeling himself twitch in Ed's grip. Ed's hand tightened around the base and he stroked it lightly, lapping his tongue at the side of it leisurely until Roy was a panting mess on his leather chair. "Then who'd do this?" Ed murmured, grinning up at him through thick lashes.

"I hate you," Roy ground out in defeat.

Ed gave him a smug look. "Don't keep me waiting next time."


One fine blond eyebrow raised. "I don't like waiting. It's been forever and you fucking interrupted it. You know how close I was to forcing you to sit back down and tearing your clothes off and fucking myself on you right then and there?" Roy flushed slightly and Ed grinned again, shrugging casually as though he wasn't loosely stroking his superior's erection in the middle of said superior's office, lips gleaming with a clear coat of saliva and pre-come. "You made me wait, and you should know that I ain't all that patient. Look." He opened his legs slightly and pointed at the bulge in his leather pants. "This is your fault and you deserve every second of torture I gave you."

"I'm sorry," Roy found himself saying even though he was at work and probably would have gotten into trouble if he hadn't answered the door. "I'll— I'll make it up to you—"

The door slammed back open and Hughes came flying in with a glass of water. Roy hastily shoved his chair in. He could see Ed grinning up at him from the darkness and shuddered again as the tip of Ed's tongue grazed the head of his erection. The blond leaned forward and opened his mouth, whispering one last thing before taking Roy back into his mouth and recommencing the sweet torture.

"Damn straight you will, bastard."


KissMeDeadlyT-T: *cries forever* I don't know how this turned out! I think it was okay considering how I'm never satisfied with what I write…

Well, I hope you enjoyed it, Rei Kiri, I tried :O Stuff like this makes me shed blood sweat and tears and I felt as though I was part of an epic battle while writing this. Well, not really, but… you get my point, I had trouble with it. I'll shut my face now.

Thanks for reading, and leave a review if you'd like, I'd really appreciate it!