Don't Want You to See Me Cry.
AN: So this one I actually kinda wrote ages ago, one night when I was lying awake unable to sleep and was listening to "Departure at Dawn" by Cecile Corbel from the Kari-Gurashi (aka, Secret World of Arrietty) album on repeat; I decided I couldn't sleep if I tried any harder (not that could try any harder) and I pulled up my little book of 90% unfinished and/or abandoned fanfics and started writing and HEYO this little jewel popped out of the pages right in my face. Promptly after finishing it I finally got to sleep so CLEARLY THIS IDEA KEPT ME AWAKE _ honestly, reading back I asked myself: why the hell do I come up with all this cheesy s*&^ exactly? I make the most cheesy, Shakespeare-type cliché lines and OH GOD, IT'S SO FLUFFY AND CLICHÉ IT HURTS ME ALL OVER. Also, please note that it is written from my dear Mega's POV, so do enjoy!
Anyways, please read and review and as a DISCLAIMER, I do not own Megaman exe series or any of the Megaman franchise or its related characters, symbols, concepts, etc. etc. ALL I OWN is this story idea, THAT'S IT. Okies, folks, read on!
SUMMARY: Megaman has felt this way for Protoman for as long as he can remember, now, but he's never been able to say it. Now Chaud and Protoman are leaving for a few years and he's worried he might not get the chance… BluesRock, get-together, songfic(?), FLUFFY FLUFF, that's the best kind.
Inspired by "Departure at Dawn" by Cecile Corbel
Protoman is leaving with Chaud today…they'll be going to Ameroupe for a few years, for BlazeQuest business. I guess that means I won't see them – see Protoman – for a long time. I suppose that's why Lan and I came to the airport; to say goodbye. Strange, but I can't seem to summon up even so simple a word as "Goodbye", or even say "see you later". I feel like my chest is filled with water and I can't breathe to be able to utter a sound. I guess I've spent too long hiding my feelings for Protoman, maybe; I've hidden them so long that now I'm regretting it because he'll be somewhere far away for a very long time and I'll never have told him how I feel. I won't have confessed to him how the moment he walks into a room it's like all my problems just don't matter anymore, how no matter what kind of terrible things have been happening, I can manage to keep a smile on my face and a skip in my step only because I know he's there by my side. Maybe that's why I can't seem to bring myself to tell him "goodbye": because I haven't even plucked up the courage and said "I love you", yet.
I don't think he knows about how I feel…I'm not even sure if it would smart to tell him, though, he probably doesn't feel the same and I bet he'd never speak to me again, if I admitted it. He's like that, after all; guarded and reluctant to open up even enough to have friends. I know that while Lan and Chaud are busy with their "farewell"s and "good luck"s and "we'll net-battle again someday"s, Protoman is standing there waiting for me to say something, but it seems like I'm glued to the spot and my voice just won't work…all I can do is kind of…stand here, like some kind of splendid idiot, stand here and watch the light flicker under the glassy data of the floor while I try to will my lips to move and actually form words. He's being strangely patient, though, for once…I can't really fault him on anything at the moment; he's just patiently standing there, waiting for me to speak, with his eyes fixed on me in that typically impassive way of his that denies you to know what he's really thinking. Normally there's an intense feeling to his gaze, though, which you just somehow know is fixed on you even if you can't see it, but not this time. He's definitely watching me, I know that, I've learned how to tell over the years, but for once he doesn't seem impatient or anxious to be somewhere. Oh, god no, NO, I will NOT cry! Not now! I can feel my eyes starting to sting and I know what comes next, but I'll be damned if I let him see me sob like a child, so now I'm stuck fighting my hardest to hold it together, rather than fighting to try and speak. Then, thankfully, Protoman at last breaks the silence between us.
"Here I thought you were the articulate one…cat got your tongue, short-stuff?" He remarks, with that playfully mocking tone of his laced through his voice, a voice – I am only just beginning to realise – I probably won't hear again for a long time. He's probably the only person I know who can call me that in such a joking way and still not offend me by it…I know that it's an affectionate teasing, kind of like how I tease Lan about being an idiot…we both know that it's just in good humour. All I can do in response – despite wishing I could find something to say – is offer an incredibly unconvincing smile that looks more like a wince or something than what it had intended to be. He almost instantly steps forward to give me that somehow scolding look, despite most of his face being hidden behind a visor, and a snort of disbelief. "I've seen Chaud pull more convincing faux smiles than that, Megaman." He quips, folding his arms as the scowl fades from his face, somewhat. "You know you can always email us…I really don't think Chaud will mind hearing about how things are back here in his hometown." He emphasises that last word as if to make a point.
Finally I find a reply, but it's certainly not what I would have really liked to have said, and I can hear the tell-tale sound in my voice that gives away all-too-easily that I'm hiding tears. He probably can hear it, too.
"Of course I know, Protoman…doesn't mean I'm any more inclined to want to say goodbye to my friend…"
I'm not sure what to make of the look he's giving me, now…he's never looked at me like this before. It's almost like sympathy, only it seems more sincere than that, as if he really does understand the turmoil my emotions have tumbled into during just these past few minutes. Then, he surprises me again when he makes his reply.
"I know how you feel, Megaman…goodbye is never easy…especially when there's so much else you have to say." He says suddenly, catching me completely off-guard. Did he just say what I think he said? "But you know…even without saying anything, you have a way of somehow making your feelings very clear; I'd even say you are more clear when you don't speak." I struggled to articulate my reply, stuttering confusedly and stumbling all over my question.
"I-I…P-Protoman what do you…?" I can't even get the full question out, so he silences my stammering by putting a finger to my lips in a silencing motion.
"You might think I don't know how you feel and you might be scared to admit those feelings because you're worried I won't react well…but you needn't be, nor do you need to say a word. I already know, Mega, and I want you to know that those feelings aren't at all unwelcome. In fact, I'm glad you feel the same way about me as I do about you." I'm not even sure what to say in response to that…Protoman just confessed his feelings for me in his own somewhat roundabout little way, but I can't seem to do anything but stare incredulously at him, trying to see past the dark visor so that I might see in his eyes if he really means what he says. Somehow he seems to read my thoughts, though, and he very quickly answers that for me. "And I want you to know that every word of that was the absolute truth. Even if I had wanted to, I could never – would never – lie to you. I haven' t been able to lie to you in all the time I've known you."
Yep, that's done it; goodbye emotional control, hello embarrassing sob-session. I don't want him to see me cry like this, but it seems that all my resolve to keep from shedding tears and hide behind the fake smile crumpled when he said that and so all I can do is sob pitifully to him as he immediately moves to wrap his arms around my shoulders. Thankfully it isn't too long that I cry to him before I can get my emotions under control again and before I know it, he's reaching up a hand to brush the tears from my face. I'd never thought he could be so gentle, yet here he is so patiently letting me cry on his shoulder and then without even batting an eyelash he's wiping the tears from my eyes with what I could swear is the tiniest of smiles on his face. As he does this, I take the moment of silence to contemplate how best to say what I want to.
"I…I won't say goodbye to you, Protoman, because if I do then it'll feel like you're not coming back…even if you aren't here for a while, I know you'll come home, r-right?" I ask, to which Protoman nods, resolutely, which makes me feel a little better. "Then, I'll wait for you here so I can welcome you back when you do! I-I know you'll come home, just…just promise that you won't forget me, okay?" again, he nods, even more confidently this time, eyes locked with mine, even if I can't really see them.
"If I had to travel the cosmos to do it, I'd come back for you, you know that. Besides, no matter how far from home I go, or how many seas I cross, you'll always be the light that guides me home, I promise you." He says it all so easily, so straight-out honest that even with that slightly impassive tone of his, I know I can trust him to keep that promise; so I let go of him, just in time to hear Chaud calling for him.
"Then I promise I'll always be your light and watch for you to come back, okay?" I reply, offering him a much more sincere smile than before, to which he gives me another sure nod.
"Then I know I'll never get lost…who could with a light as bright as you to guide them back home?" he says, once again the words just seem to come so easily to him, "Just keep smiling, Mega, I'll be back before you know it." With that, and the customary flick on the nose he always gives me when he thinks I'm being silly, he turns to go and for a brief few seconds before he goes – and this time I know I saw it – he smiles at me and I smile back, before I go back to Lan to watch their plane start taxiing down the runway and then take off into the sky. So I begin my vigil as Protoman's light home, a light that I'll be sure to keep shining as long as he needs me to, no matter the storms that might come.
Yup, I died. I keeled over from cute and died. X'D someone please explain why I always use such CORNY LINES. But hey, whatever, it's cute, good enough excuse. So anyways, with the nickname "Short-stuff" that actually originated in my roleplay with my sister; she plays Protoman and I play Megaman and after they started dating in our RP, Proto started calling Mega 'Short-stuff' for a pet-name, I guess it kinda just stuck with me, I really see that kind of affectionate teasing from Mr Sexy-Shades :P so yeah, tell me what you think, everyone, thanks for reading!