there are so many questions i want to ask them
so many things i want to know
but the words won't come
won't form on my tongue
and maybe that has something to do with Jasper...
or maybe it's just me
and my fear of their answers
the sound of their truth
maybe the quiet is better than they would be
its edges less rough
but to just stand here...
and each other...
This is the last time you'll ever see me.
"Does he know?"
"Why not? Why you and not him?"
"There are many different answers to that, Bella."
Rosalie looks away again
away from me
and from Jasper's words this time
as if she didn't like the sound of them
or the look
hazy and foggy and thick with whatever they mean
whatever they do that she knows i don't understand
and i start to wonder a new thing...
if these faces–even hers–i'm happy to see
and want to accept like gifts
are ones i should be afraid of instead
and if these gifts–and theirs with them–are something else entirely
something else in disguise
and were sent for
"Did you come here to destroy me?"
Emmett laughs at my question
and the massive furry beast between us roils its answer
when she looks up again
at me again
she just looks hurt
and i don't understand at all
even less than i did when i saw and heard nothing
and now can't tear my eyes away from the something that she is
the slow and deliberate unfamiliar
that becomes not as she snaps a thick branch from a tree that's held it for lifetimes
as if only for a day
and throws it
and whatever i saw away with it
"Leave it alone," i warn her
and it's her who laughs this time "Or what?"
and then me who smiles
because Emmett actually looks afraid now
"I'd be happy to show you."
she wants to challenge me
i know she does
can taste the thrill of it on her tongue
but perhaps not as much as something else
"Maybe some other time. Like in fifty years or so."
"Good answer," i tell her
because it is for her
but not the one that's best for me
"Now, give me the rest."
of course i was tempted...
but she wants answers more. just like i think you do.
p.s. i have a private page... (fb) where i sometimes give some... (though not yet for this story)... and other things i don't give anywhere else... so let me know if you want in on the getting.
see you tomorrow i hope.