Nightmares plagued his mind, they consumed him at nights even after all of these years. Dreams that began so simply, filled with such innocence that they lulled him into a false sense of security. He dreamed of gardens filled with rows and rows of brightly colored flowers, he dreamed of the scent of perfumes, and the sounds of laughter. He dreamed of his parents faces smiling at him, their loving embrace. He dreamed of fire, smoke overwhelming his senses causing him to gag. He dreamed of his mother and father's mutilated corpse; he dreamed of large filthy men dragging him away from his home and shoving him into a cage. Men who hurt him, beat him, and violated his innocence; he dreamed of wanting to die, of defying God and calling upon the Devil. He dreamed of glowing red eyes, eyes that glowed like the embers of the fire and of glossy black wings...
Hands grabbed hold of his shoulders gently shaking him; Ciel let out a choked scream, he reached out blindly grabbing the first thing his hand came across. He gripped tightly to the object bringing it up and smashing it against his attacker. The weight lifted off of him, he let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in; his eyes flew open and the demons departed. He couldn't feel his lips, in his hand he grasped what was left of an empty wine bottle. He looked upon the face of the man he mistook to be his attacker; guilt flooded him as he looked at Sebastian, the blood running from the cuts on his forehead and left cheek. He wanted to speak, but he felt nauseated and he couldn't find the words to say. The demon noticed his master's distress, he gave a small smile and bowed his head slightly.
"I must apologize, I did not mean to startle you my lord."
Ciel felt angered by the man's unnecessary apology.
"It was my fault, don't apologize you moron."
The demon smirked, his red eyes met the young man's.
"I must ask why are you sleeping on the floor of your study?"
The mortal sat up cringing at the slight pain in his back from sleeping on the hard floor. He remembered very little from earlier, the night before, or maybe it was this morning; he only remembered drinking that entire bottle of wine, wrecking the study in a moment of rage and then passing out on the floor. He couldn't recall why he had been angry at that time, maybe it had something to do with these cursed nightmares. When he had been a child they had been nightly, he'd wake screaming and always Sebastian would be there. Every time Ciel would hit, scratch, or even pull a gun on the demon for dare trying to rescue him from his nightmares. He appreciated the gesture each time, but he had too much pride and detachment to truly admit it out loud. There was a morbid comfort in waking up looking at the face of the demon who would one day steal his soul, relieve him of the pain of living. Oh to God how he prayed the day would come sooner!
Yet here he was now a man of twenty-one, resorting to the temptation of drink in hopes to bury his pain.
Ciel cautiously reached a hand out lightly running his fingers along the demon's bloodied cheek smearing the thick red liquid. Sebastian's skin felt hot, like inside instead of organs he was made of coals and flame.
"When will it end?" He asked quietly, his fingers still tracing along the older man's skin.
"Will what end my Lord?"
"All of it, he said meeting the demon's gaze.
Those eyes, eyes that would frighten so many, but to Ciel they held promise of salvation. He urged to be kissed by him, held, and swallowed whole.
Sebastian placed his hand over Ciel's pulling it away from his face, he looked over the blood staining the young man's fingers. He pulled the blue eyed man's hand towards his mouth, he darted his tongue out running it between the other man's index and middle fingers.
"Why are you so eager to die my Lord?"
He felt a chill go through him in the way Sebastian called him 'Lord', he felt a chill from the way the demon's pointed tongue was running along his fingers. The demons were departed from his mind, but now one was sitting before him.
"Why shouldn't I be, why haven't you taken what is rightfully yours yet?"
Sebastian released hold of his hand, he tilted his head to the side looking confused.
"I wish that you wouldn't drink this way my Lord, it isn't good for your mind or your health." He said avoiding the mortal's questions.
The avoidance angered the young man, the demon knew it, and it amused him highly seeing the mortal so suddenly annoyed.
"I want to die"
So much anger in his voice, he felt himself tremble as he spoke the words.
Before he could properly react Sebastian pulled him into his arms, pulling the young man onto his lap. He held tightly to the blue eyed mortal, his face mere inches from his.
"Do you, are you sure that is what you wish my Lord?"
Ciel's heart beat frantically against his chest, his breathing heavy. Sebastian's fingers combed through his short dark blue hair, his long gloved fingers grazed along his cheek.
"I can give you more than death my Lord, my love."
The mortal closed his eyes, he let out an unsteady breath as a shiver ran through him and for a moment it seemed as if he could break down crying at the whisper of the word love.
"Will loving me stop you from killing me?"
"No my Lord"
"I want the pain to end Sebastian."
He felt hot breath against his neck.
"I know my love, one day I will relieve you of all misery. I swear to you my Lord, when the time comes I will keep my word."
"Until then?" Ciel whispered
He felt so weak and vulnerable being held in Sebastian's arms, being pressed against the demon's body; feeling those lips brushing against the side of his neck.
"Until then I will hurt you with my love, my Ciel."
The mortal opened his eyes meeting the demon's steady gaze. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck, he leaned up kissing him hard. Oh what a cruel bastard death could be.