Had to do it. Hi, i'm new to the south park fandom. I've written fanfictions for Soul Eater..but after reading some of the awesome fanfiction for south park and falling in love with some of the parings, I decided to give it a shot.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have a messed up head. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't addicted to coffee and twitched every five seconds. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I could actually sleep and the gnomes left me alone. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had parents that actually paid attention, that listened instead of giving him stories that never go anywhere..they never go anywhere. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't freak out about everything, if I didn't have a mental break down because I spilled my coffee..

But why should I wonder about stupid things?

I do have a messed up head. I am addicted to coffee and twitch every fucking five seconds. I don't sleep. I never sleep. The gnomes always steal my underpants, they always out smart me. My parents are in their own little world, and are full of stories that don't make any sense. I do freak out about every thing and I would have a mental break down if I dropped my thermos and spilled my coffee..

So why wonder? I'll always be like this. My life will always be like this. I'm Tweek Tweak. The freak who spasms, or that guy on coke as some people call me. I'm the guy who you either pity or laugh at. Nothing more. I'm the guy in the corner that shouts out random shit because I can't help it!..I'm the guy that drinks more coffee then an alcoholic drinks...

Nothing's going to change for me. I'll never get better but I've excepted that. I can deal with it. Why stress about something? then it becomes too much pressure and i'll freak out..I don't need to do that anymore then I already do..


"Gah!" I twitch and whip my head quickly at the voice that just broke my thoughts. A man behind the counter is looking at him annoyed, with his hair net and the apron he's wearing..I realize he's the cafeteria guy..I also realize I'm in line for my food, no one is in front of me yet I haven't moved up. "S-Sorry." I stammer before gripping my tray and walking up to where I should have been in the first place..the tray trembling in my shaking hands. I really hate my hands.

"What do you want kid?" The man doesn't hid his irritation..and that's alright. At least this isn't a person who pities me. I hate being pitied more than people being mean to me..being pitied makes me feel frail and weak..my mind's messed up but I'm not weak! I can handle myself..if I can deal with my messed up head, I can deal with anything.

"-erk- pizza!" I shout out nervously..having the urge to tug at my hair when the person behind me gives me a painful jab in the back, telling me to hurry up. The middle aged man nods before placing a slice of pizza on his tray and a cup of fruit..oh yay it's peaches-

"Move along twitchy." That person behind me growls..a feel a ting of anger at the nick name and turn around..only for my face to fall. Cartman looks at me with his eye brow raised..he's massive. The boy has always been over weight..but as the years gone by he's gotten taller. Don't get me wrong, he's still a fat tub of lard but now he has muscle with it. His size is intimating..especially to some one my size..and the fact this boy hates my guts. "What? You going to do something twitchy?"

I jerk at the name but shake my head quickly. I turn on my heel and walk quickly out of the line..a panic starting to tighten in my chest. What if he's following me? what if he's going to throw me in the thrash can like he did when we were kids? What if he's going to eat me!-

At that I shutter and let out a loud shriek..no one in the cafeteria even looks my way. They know the drill. They know how much I freak out. I look behind me to make sure Cartman isn't there, with his lips curled in that evil smile of his that screams 'i'm going to eat you.'..but no one is behind me. I sigh in relief, the panic dying down as I turn back around and make my way through the cafeteria. I scan this place out for my friend..I useally always sit with him..He's an out cast like me. No one likes him, and unlike me none of the kids pity him. They just hate him for some reason. I could never understand why. The boy is polite, he would give you the shirt off his back if you asked..he doesn't shake, and he is always so postive..his chirpy voice can be a bit much at times but that's it!

My eyes fall on the table we always sit at..only for my body to jerk to the stop..I take in the empty table..the empty table in the corner away from everyone else. From here it looks like it hasn't been used for years..it gives him chills like it's haunted..

And it mind as well be.

Of course. I forgot again. Pip died a long time ago. I don't know how..he just died..I can't remember what happened..I just remember being at his funeral..the cops asked me questions..because apparently I was with him the day he died..but I couldn't remember. I still can't remember. I think they suspected me of murdering him or something and that was way too much pressure!..but..the cop here at South park doesn't do anything..He kinda just brushed it off, everyone did. I remember..I was the only one to show up at his funeral..along with his parents. It filled me with a sadness..will my funeral be as lonely as his? The funeral was sad..it turned me hollow for awhile..yet I forgot about it. I keep forgetting about it..I guess my memory is fucked up like my head. I stare at the empty seats..remembering I use to sit there, with the blond brit boy. We use to talk. He use to be my friend.

But he's dead now.

"Tweek." A motor tone voice breaks my thoughts. I whip around in a panic, almost dropping my tray of food but I grip it tightly just in time. Craig stares at me with those piercing blue eyes..those eyes that seem to bore into me and make me twitch more. I couldn't tell you his expression..it's always the same. Blank. Unreadable. Emotionless. I realize that I just stopped in front of his table..I probably looked like a retard just staring off into space like that. Clyde and Token are looking at me now too. The brunette looks confused and Token has a frown on his face. I appreciate his concern, but at the same time I wish he wouldn't look at me like I could break at any moment. I'm crazy yes, but i'm not frail. Craig just stares at me a moment longer..and I can feel my body twitching in response..the tray shaking in my hands. He opens his mouth..and speaks one word. "Sit."

"Erk!" I can't help to shriek slightly at the command. It wasn't a question or a statement. It was a command. Those piercing blue eyes are narrowing at me..he must be angry that i'm taking so long to listen to him. I take a shaky breath before I make my way around the table..taking my seat next to the raven who is still staring at me.

There was a time that if Craig tucker had told me to sit, I would have run for my life, screaming and knocking people of my way. There was a time I probably would have run to Stan's gang for protection..I use to be in their group. It was before I started hanging out with Pip.. I took the place of Kenny, the boy that seemed to disappear for a while.

I won't say my time with them was unpleasant..actually I like their group. Minus Cartman they're really not bad. I wasn't with them for that long..my mind isn't letting me remember how long I was in their group..but I do know me and Kyle got close. He would call me over when Stan was busy with Wendy and me and him would hang out..Kyle's cool. it's not too much pressure being around him. He always had a soft, caring smile for me..he would help me with my home work and I would listen to him go off on his frustrated rants about Cartman or Stan. I liked being around him..and just maybe he liked being around me...after Kenny came back..they immediately kicked me out of their gang.

I was old news. I was only a replacement for the other blonde. I was surprised that I actually felt hurt..that I still wanted to be a part of their group even though cartman is such an ass. They kinda just stopped talking to me. That was that. For a while I was alone. Keeping to myself like I did before I was friends with them..I would catch Kyle looking at me..but I couldn't dare look at him back..afraid I would freak out or cry right there. crying's weak. I'll freak out but I don't cry...

That's when Kyle called me. He told me he wanted to hang out..and I was more than happy to come. He said he missed talking to me..and my heart skipped a beat..just because no one misses me..let alone misses talking to me with my random outbursts and such..That night we stayed up all night talking..he apologized for his friends, and asked if I wanted to sit with them even though cartman kicked me out. I didn't want to. I didn't want to deal with the fat tub of lard..but that day with Kyle..was when I realized I had a friend..

He told me his secret. That he was gay and liked Stan. He told me he trust me..but I could see in his eyes how nervous he was..it was a relief in my ears..because I quickly reassured him..

I'm gay too.

With the secret out..it was such a relief to the both of us..we talked about some cute guys and Kyle told me about his fear of telling his parents..I'm not really afraid to tell my parents, I just know how they will react..they won't react.

After that night, Kyle would call me but we would never hang out..I started hanging around Pip and you know the story there..it's just..

I couldn't tell you how I became apart of Craig's gang..it happened after Pip's death I think..all I remember is that I was sitting at his table..Clyde and Token were talking to me like this was normal..and Craig just stared at me...then he started talking..like we knew each other all our lives..well I have known Craig all my life but..we never really talked..after that fight we had in the 3rd grade..I kinda figured he hated me. That I should stay as far away as possible from him.

Back in 3rd grade I was a match for him..but as the years went by, Craig grew taller, his arms a bit muscular..his shoulders broad..his raven hair longer and in his face..those piercing blue eyes got colder..harder..as time went by..I just got taller. Nothing else. I'm as thin as a stick..I have no muscle..the only thing that really grew on me is my hair. It's just more wild and out of place..like a loin's mane. No matter what I do I can't spike my hair down..

Now I'm no match for Craig. I know it. Everyone knows it. When I was with Pip he bullied us I think. I can't remember much..it's fuzzy. I think he hurt me the most though..

So why am I sitting here right now? What happened that changed everything? Why is Craig my friend now?..or I supposes he is..I'm still not to sure what this is..

"H-Hi -ngh- Craig." I twitch and offer him a nervous smile..hoping it would get him to stop starting at me so intently..those eyes look like they could just swallow me whole! then i'll be lost in his eyes forever and i'll never have coffee and-

"Hey." He says simply..still staring..his eyes seem to wonder down before he looks away and boredly starts eating his cheese burger. "Eat."

Another command. Maybe it's his blank face..or how firm his voice is..that I listen immediately. Happy he isn't looking at me, I take a bite out of my pizza..more like I nibble at it..but I don't want to eat too fast and mess up my stomach. That could give me gas and that would be even more embarrassing then-

"Relax." Craig doesn't look at me as he chews slowly. I flinch when I realized my shaking had increased. I take a deep breath before taking another bite out of my pizza..Craig barely talks. Barely does anything so it scares me when he does..

"Shut up fat ass!" My head whips up at the voice..across the room is where Stan's gang sits..I find myself looking over there a lot..just because of this reason. Kyle is glaring so darkly at Cartman..gripping his fist and his face red..Stan looks like he's sighing..and Kenny seems too busy with Butters, who is putting bunny stickers all over the other blonde.

"What's wrong Jew? tampon up your sandy vagina? all I said was it would be funny if-"

"It wouldn't be funny you fat tub of lard!" I twitch slightly at him saying that..because that is what we would always call him together, our saying.

"Oh what is it Kyle? You have a gay little crush on him or something?" I tense at that..my eyes wide..they're being so loud...shit does Cartman know?

"Of course not! it's just not right! pick on someone else ass hole."

"Oh yeah like who? Pip's already dead." he sneers. "And Butters here is getting butt fucked by Kenny. Kenny might just die if I do anything to his precious Butters-"

"Fuck you Cartman." Kenny glares when Butters tensed.

"You have Butters for that. Keep your gay over there."

Kenny's blue crystal eyes light up at that..He usually doesn't get angry that quickly..but when it comes to Butters, I notice, he can be quick to it. He grips his fist and I slightly wonder if he's about to hit Cartman..but Butters grabs his hand and whispers something to him..calming the taller blonde down.

"What is with you and torturing blondes? You have some kind of complex fat ass?" Kyle spats.

"No Kyle, it's not my fault all the blondes here are either poor or pathetic." Cartman smirks at the glare he gets from both Kenny and Kyle. "And stop calling me fat you stupid Jew!"

"They should just fuck." Comes a motor toned voice beside me and I shriek, looking over at Craig with wide eyes..the raven is just watching the scene with blank eyes. "It's obvious fat ass over there has a thing for Kyle. That's why he fights him all the time. Either Kyle likes it, that's why he eggs him on, or he's just that stupid." His words are blunt..

I feel a ting of anger at him talking about Kyle like that..I glare shakily down at my food for a moment. "K-Kyle doesn't like Cartman. H-He hates him. He isn't s-stupid either. He's sticking up for himself. He's the s-smartest guy in this school."

Craig's cold eyes slowly move..till he's starting right at me..and I wonder if I said too much. He just stares at me a moment..no anger..no frustration..no anything in his expression. "if he doesn't like Cartman why does he hang around him all the time?" still no emotion.

"Because..t-they just do. i-it's been like that since elementary school. -ngh- k-Kyle likes Kenny and Stan..C-Cartman is just always there."

"They could tell him to leave."

"And y-you would think he would -erk- listen?" I look at him almost challengingly..this might be one of our longest conversations.

"I guess not." He says blankly. "I bet if they took his cheesy poofs and threw them, he would go running after them. That would get him to leave." He said it so dully..I don't know if he's trying to be funny or if he thinks this is a serious plan.

"Yeah take away his fucking food, you might just kill him!" Clyde cracks up into the conversation. "We should seriously do that! Take his cheesy poofs and hide them. I bet he would even blame Kyle like he always does!"

"Come on guys..we don't want another fight already." Token tries to reason like he always does..I agree with him.

My group and Stan's group don't like each other..Craig is our leader I suppose, while Stan is there. Craig doesn't like Stan and Stan doesn't like him. It's been like that since as long as I can remember. We don't talk to each other..and if we do it's nothing nice. We've gotten into a couple fist fights with them..we take turns doing something just to piss off the other group..it's too much pressure really..so why am I even apart of it? Maybe I'm afraid of what Craig will do if I just left..and started sitting myself again. I don't want him to start being the shit out of me again..even now, it seems he's always close to just snapping on me..his cold eyes say it all..

So I don't protest. I just except this. Of course it keeps me up at night..and I can feel a shriek in the back of my throat from just thinking about it.

"Dude, Token the last fight we had was broken up by the cops before we could even start!" Clyde protests.

"And you almost went to jail." Token looks at him firmly. "It's not a good idea."

"Craig! Help me out." Cylde turns to him, looking at him expectantly.

"I don't care." he simply shrugs.

"He's on my side!" Clyde beams. "Two against one! We're doing it!"

"Tweek?" Token looks at me and I jerk..my eyes getting wide. "What do you want to do?"

Now everyone is looking at me..expecting me to answer. I hate when Token does this..always bring me in to finish a argument..

"Too m-much pressure." I mumble as I take a slip of my coffee.

"Tweek what do you want to do?" His voice gets to me to tense..almost dropping my thermos as I look over at Craig..again he's staring at me intently..those eyes piercing me. "Tell us."

It must be how blunt he is..how eveything he says is more of a command then anything that I take a shaky breath. "I d-don't want to -ngh- fight them. I a-agree with token..it's too much pressure!" I shout out..getting nervous as Clyde glares at me and Token smiles.

"Okay. We won't do it." Craig states bluntly before he looks back down at his food..and starts eating..my eyes get wide..what?

"Hey! Craig you ass hole your suppose to be on my side!" Clyde huffs and crosses his arms. "Why don't you ever listen to me like you listen to Tweek? I'm your best friend! He isn't!" His eyes seem to get watery..I don't feel to comfortable and I shriek.

"Stop being a pussy Clyde." Craig smirks at his friend. "What? are you going to cry again?"

"N-No!" Clyde huffs and wipes his eyes.

I find myself looking back at the table in front of us..Kyle is gone now..so is Stan..I hope he's alright..I feel a pang of worry..What if he's not ok? What if he needs me? what if.. my breathing is starting to become uneven but when my eyes fall on Cartman..and how he's still at the table, I relax..Kyle's fine as long as cartman isn't with him..maybe Stan's with him to comfort the red-head? I hope so..maybe Stan has the same feelings for him.. I find myself smiling at that..it feels weird, my lips twitching up..it doesn't happen offen..there's not much too smile at in his life-

That's when I feel..that I'm being watched..a dark feeling grips me..my chest tightening and my breathing becoming uneven..my hands are getting sweaty..I feel..fear? I whip my head up..looking for the source of my discomfort..but no one is looking at me..they're all talking to their friends..enjoying themselves..

When my eyes fall on my old table..the table I use to sit with Pip..I see something..a flash of black? But when I blink..no one's there..just a empty table, with empty memories. I blink viscously..but no one's there..I must be losing my mind..no..I can't lose what I don't have. I take a nervous slip of my coffee..before I put it down..the thermos making a loud clank before I feel myself shaking more..

I feel someone's gaze on me yet again..this time it's closer. I whip my head over only to see Craig staring right at me..our faces are a lot closer than they should be..he stares at me blankly..those eyes holding me in place..yet my body continues to jerk..I continue to make whimpering sounds..

That's when his hands latch out and he grabs me..I scream in fright..his eyes narrow as I struggle with him..I'm about to punch him when I realize he has a hold of my wrists. "Stop." He commands..

I don't listen this time. He isn't going to kill me now. I grind my teeth as my body jerks in defiance..I give him the strongest glare I can muster..but he doesn't' even blink.

"G-Get off Craig!" I tremble when his eyes narrow more..and he tightens his grip on my wrists till they hurt. "D-Don't -ngh- kill me!" I screech, not able to help it.

"I won't kill you if you let go of your hair." His words are as blank as ever..but with a 'gah!' I let go of my hair I didn't even know I was clutching. Something changes in his eyes..yet I can't read it as he let's go of me..I sigh in relief and start rubbing my wrist where he gripped them. "You shouldn't do that."

"W-What?" I twitch and look at him.

"That thing with your hair. Don't pull it. You'll end up pulling out all your hair out one day and you'll go bald."

"G-Gah! I don't w-want to go bald!" I almost reach to grab my hair in my stress out state..but I stop myself and bite my lip..shaking a bit more.

"Then don't pull your hair."..Is that..amusement in his voice? but when I look at him he looks as blank and cold as ever.

"F-Fine!" I huff as I take a frustrated drink out of my thermos..Clyde looks between us and he looks like he's about to cry again..Token is chuckling lightly..

That's when the bell rings..it's time to go back to class.

Craig just sits there as we all get up.. I don't question him..he always skips. I walk with Clyde and Token..thinking about how much I hate the math class I'm about to go to..it's so boring and it's like I can't control my jerks more in there-

"Tweek." That moter toned voice gets me to pause..Clyde and Token get ahead of me till they just disappear into the crowd. I turn around to see Craig staring into me..i should get to class..I should just leave..but those eyes are holding me in place. He stares at me..and I just stand there..like he has a super power of just freezing me..oh god what if he does?! What if I can't move?! What if i'll be stuck like this forever!"

"N-No!" I scream and jerk violently..my thermos getting thrown in the air..I watch with wide, horrified eyes as it starts to come down..I won't make it. It'll spill. I'll have a mental break down, i'll-

Craig catches the green thermos with ease..his face doesn't change but he raises his eye brow at me..oh..I feel myself relax..ok..so Craig doesn't have supper powers..that's good then..I let the tension leave me..only to tense back up when Craig gets up from his seat..He walks over to me in strides..the raven's walk is smooth..his eyes never leaving mine..

I feel frozen yet again.

No one's here anymore..they all left..just me and Craig..I should really be getting to class..I should just snatch my thermos and run..but I don't.

Those piercing eyes hold me in place.

Craig stops when he's right in front of me..the raven towers over me..and I have never felt so small..I look up at him. I bet if I straighten my back I could be just as tall..if not taller..but my body doesn't listen to me. He stares down at me with those eyes..and not for the first time I wish I knew what he was thinking..what's going on behind those cold eyes..crisper then the morning wind..

Without a word he pushes the thermos in my hands. He stares at me again..like he's waiting for something..then it hits me.

"O-Oh! t-thanks Craig -ngh- you just s-saved the day." I chuckle nervously as I take a slip out of my thermos..the coffee calming me down.

He doesn't say anything. He just brushes past me..I turn around..confused..he always confuses me..he never makes sense. He stops at the cafeteria door way.

"Hey Tweek." He turns his head to look back at me..I tense when there's something in his eyes I can't understand.. "You should smile more."

With that he leaves. So quiet like he was never there at all.

I stand there..gaping at what he said..I feel my cheeks heat up..so he saw my smile?..and he wants me to smile more?..I can't help to notice my body getting warmer..my lips curl in a smile..as if to test it out-

The bell rings.

"S-Shit!" My eyes get wide and a panic gets rid of the warm feeling I just had..my smile falls to a twitching frown as I take off running to my class..I run past the raven that is just casually walking down the hallway..he glances at me and I can feel my face heat up, but I think it's from anger this time. "Thanks a l-lot a-ass hole!"

Craig only gives me his middle finger but..did he just..smirk?

I don't have time to think about that. Being late to class is too much pressure..maybe the teacher won't even realize I've been late..

I come to a stop at my class room door..the teacher seems to be writing something on the board..and the door is open..I can just sneak in..Don't scream..don't twitch to much..I slowly tip toe into the class room..my class mates look my way and I feel my face heat up..but as long as the teacher doesn't notice me..I walk slowly..careful-

"Tweek your late." The teacher doesn't even look from the broad.


The class laughs and I can only think of one thing.

Fuck you too Craig.

I sigh in relief as I finally walk out the school's doors..it's just too much pressure..sometimes I wish I didn't have to go..yet if I stayed home, all I would have is my thoughts to drive me crazy..

And I'm already crazy enough.

"Tweek." A voice grunts behind me. I turn around to see Craig walking after me..there's something in his eyes..almost like determination..It makes me shriek and put my thermos out like a shield. "Your hanging out with me today."

"G-Gah!" I twitch at his demanding voice..Craig's eyes narrow..before he..sighs?

"..I mean.. do you want to hang out with me today? if not, I don't care." He speaks bluntly..yet he's staring at me intently.

Craig never asks me anything. And he sure as hell doesn't ask me to hang out.

"I h-have a choice?" I blink at him..this seems to piss him off because his eyes narrow again.

"I asked didn't I?" He growls and I flinch. "Well? What's it going to be? Don't keep me waiting." his voice is hard..

Even though the idea of hanging out with Craig scares me..it has to be better then just staying home with..my parents..and my thoughts. Besides, why would Craig want to hang out with me? Should I be scared or curious? I give him a suspicious look. "W-What would we be -ngh- doing?"

"Hang at my house. Red Racer comes on at five." He shrugs. "Clyde's busy with Token. Parents are out. Don't feel like being alone."

Hanging at Craig's house..alone with Craig? The idea terrifies me to no end...but when I think of my mom's odd smile and my dad's weird stories..they like having family night Friday..it's not really family night..we just sit in the living room..and my parents smile. It's creepy. I know it is. How much worse can being with Craig be?..maybe even in a way I want to prove to myself..that I can be strong. That I don't have to always coward away from Craig..he's not that scary..it's not like he's a ninja..or a assassin..

What if he is?

I swallow down my panic before I lock eyes with him. "O-Okay." The single word comes out as a jerk.

Maybe it's in my imagination but Craig's gaze seems to soften..well not soften but not look as cold. "Okay." is all he says back before he puts his hands in his pocket and starts to walk. "Come on then."

"G-Gah we're going now?" My eyes get wide in panic. "I c-can't go right away.."

"Why not?" He stops and looks at me..those piercing blue eyes boring into me.

"..I have a therapy session to go to." That's a lie. I wish that were true. I would love to have a therapist..I even asked my parents for one..they just said that I was fine..and to drink more coffee..I keep trying to stress to them that something isn't' right with me, that I need medication..but they always ignore me.

"I'll go with you." He states and takes a step closer..not at all seeming effected by the news of me having a therapist.

"Y-You can't!" I sheik and almost pull my hair..but I stop myself. "I d-don't like anyone to come..i-it's private."

Craig..glares at me..his lips go in a tight line and he turns around quickly..walking in strides..I wonder slightly if this means we're not hanging out..but he stops.

" Make sure to come to my place right after. Bring your shit. Your staying the night. " And with that he walks off.

I could say, no I'm not. I could say I'm not even going..

But I know that I am going, and I am going to bring my stuff..

I couldn't tell you why though..I still couldn't tell you why I'm even apart of his gang..it's..I can't remember anything..I sigh as I start to walk..my mind starting to reel so I take a slip of my coffee..

I hope he's there..I hope he'll show up..I feel nervous as I walk down the streets of South park..I don't have to think about where i'm going..I just know. I've done this so many times..but if any one were to find out we would both be in trouble..Craig's gang would beat me to a pulp..I don't think Kyle would get beaten..but they wouldn't be happy with him..

I try to keep my breathing in check as I look around nervously..but no one is looking at me..the snow crunches under my feet..snow flakes getting caught in my massive hair and in my eye lashes...I blink them away and drink some more of my coffee.. I actually like the snow here..one of the only things I like about South park..the snow is so white and pure..it's perfect..it covers the impurities of this town..and if you didn't live here, you would think this place is beautiful. You would think this place is filled with nice people with hot cups of coca..yet that's not South park. The snow can only hide the surface..but underneath it, is all the rot of this stupid town.

The thermos is gripped tightly by me..my breathing suddenly coming in uneven puffs of smoke..I stop walking, my eyes wide..I feel it again..someone is watching me! my chest tightens in panic as I whip around..searching for why I feel this way..I see someone standing on the other side of the road..but then a buss comes..blocking my view..when the buss is gone..so is the person standing there..I let out a shaky breath..

Your just going crazy. No big deal. I start to move faster...no longer feeling safe..what if someone is following me? What do they want? Why do I feel so scared? I end up running the rest of the way to my parent's coffee shop..I glance at the 'closed' sign on the door..before I glance around..no one's looking so I open the door and walk in..my parents never feel the need to lock this place up. I guess that's a good thing..considering what I do every Friday.

"Hey Tweek." A friendly voice snaps me out of my thoughts..I look over to see Kyle sitting in one of the booths..a soft smile on his face..those green, emerald eyes seem to be sparkling.

I feel my lips twitch again. "H-Hi Kyle."

Yes, I meet up with Kyle every Friday..it's in secret now..because well..Kyle isn't suppose to talk to me..I'm not suppose to talk to him..we're suppose to be enemies..but Kyle is my friend. I won't stop talking to him. We agreed to this..to see each other ever Friday..here at my parent's coffee shop..because it's closed today..because no one will come in. I glance at all the blinds to make sure they're closed before I make my way over to Kyle..my lips still twitching..I feel my spirits lift.

"Whoa! Someone's happy today." Kyle chuckles slightly and I twitch as I take my seat across from him. "Something good happen?"

"N-No..i'm just happy you -ngh- came.." I mumble quietly..but somehow Kyle hears me. He always hears me.

"Tweek.." Kyle furrows his eye brows. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not going to ditch you. I'll always come unless I'm sick dude." He gives me reassuring smile..and I feel my lips twitching again..then I remember something and I frown.

"Are you o-okay Kyle? I-I heard you and Cartman arguing about something during lunch." My gaze shifts nervously..hoping he doesn't think i'm a stalker..or in his business..but it's hard not to hear what those two are saying when they're fighting.

"Yeah i'm fine." He sighs. "Stupid fat ass.." his eye brows furrow deeper. "Tweek..do you know what we were auguring about?" Those darker green eyes lock onto my own..I notice he doesn't have his hat on..those red curls of his everywhere..curling and framing his face..

"N-No -erk- I couldn't really h-hear.." I frown at how Kyle sighs.

"I over heard Cartman saying something to Kenny.." Kyle grips his fist. "Tweek..stay away from Cartman. Don't freak out but-"

"Oh god he want's t-to eat me!" I shriek and grab at my hair..forgetting i'm not suppose to grab it.

"No! no it's fine Tweek." Kyle grabs my hands and I let go of my hair..he puts my hands down on the table..but he doesn't stop holding them. "The fat ass isn't going to eat you..I just heard him say something about you..so stay alert and stay way from Cartman, I don't know what the fat so is planning."

"You don't have to -ngh- tell me twice Kyle." I twitch nervously..then something hits me..

Kyle was..Kyle was arguing with Cartman for me..

I feel my face heat up and I duck my head to hide it.."T-Thank you Kyle.."

"No problem dude. What are friends for?" He grins, those eyes still staring at me..they're much warmer then Craig's..beautiful even..Kyle's eyes welcome me..while Craig's eyes just freeze me to the bone..Kyle's eyes are green like a lush forest..Craig's eyes are blue and icy like a blizzard..

My lips twitch at him calling me his friend..it feels nice to still have Kyle..that Kyle still talks to me after all this time. "Do you want something? c-coffee or..?" I trail off, twitching nervously.

"No I'm good dude. You know I don't drink coffee." His nose wrinkles a bit as he chuckles..

The lucky bastard. He doesn't drink coffee.

I nod viscously before I take a slip of my coffee..the coffee I can't live without..I close my eyes, gathering myself before I look back at Kyle who is raising his eye brow. "s-so..you and S-Stan?" I squeak out..hoping something good happened instead of something bad.

Kyle stares at me blankly for a moment..before he sighs. "Same stuff. I'm still his super best friend..he held me today after the fight with Cartman.." He blushes and I beam. "but I know his still obvious to my feelings.." he sighs again. "And still incredibly hot."

I snort in laughter at this..grabbing my thermos and putting it over my lips to try to hid it. Kyle smirks at me and starts to chuckle..He's still holding my hand..rubbing smile circles with his thumb..I don't take my hand form his..I feel comfortable with it..I like how warm and steady his hand is..so unlike mine..Kyle is everything i'm not. Smart. Steady. Firm. His hands don't shake..he doesn't even drink coffee! People like him, look up to him..the only thing they have on him is 'Jew' and 'nerd' but really that's nothing.

Kyle is as close to perfect as they get in this stupid town.

"How are things going with you Tweek?" Kyle stops laughing to smile at me..

I tense up..thinking about Craig and how i'll be staying the night with him today..I groan and Kyle frowns.

"T-Things never ch-change but..t-today Craig pretty much told m-me i'm staying the night at his house." I feel my body jerk..a panic starting to rise at thinking about it.

"He told you?" Kyle's eyes narrow and he gives my hand a squeeze. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to Tweek. Don't let that ass hole push you around."

"I d-don't..it's just..' I sigh. "I-I don't h-have anything else to do..-ngh- and you know w-what my parents do Friday.."

Kyle frowns deeply at this. "..You know if I could..I would have you over right Tweek?"

"Y-Yeah I know..-erk- but it would be too much p-pressure if Stan or god, C-Cartman! Saw that I was at your house! C-Craig would kill me!" I scream in fright, just thinking about it..those cold eyes..alight in fury..

The scariest thing I've imagined..next to gnomes on zombie monkeys..

God it's a hard contest.

Kyle seems to tense..he's looking a me hard with a look I don't understand..it makes me more nervous. "..He doesn't hurt you anymore does he Tweek?" there's a hint of anger in his voice.

"Gah! No! n-not anymore.." I mumble. "D-Don't worry..as l-long as I don't -ngh- piss him off I think i'm s-safe from his wrath."

"If he hurts you, tell me Tweek." Kyle tightens his hand in mind. "I won't stand for him hurting my best friend-"

"B-Best friend?" I stammer, my jaw hanging from that..my eyes wide..and my heart beat picking up speed.

"Yes..my best friend." Kyle gives me a soft smile..and I feel my face heat up.

"B-But I thought S-Stan was your best f-friend!" I screech, gripping my thermos in confusion.

"Stan's my super best friend." Kyle chuckles. "Your my best friend Tweek. You've been awesome..even after my group kicked you out..you never kicked me out of your life..and I thank you for that."

I blush..I open my mouth to say something but I can't..all that comes out is a squeak..this gets Kyle to chuckle more..it's airy and nice..his eyes closed..those slight dimples showing..he's a red headed angel..and he just told me that I'm his best friend..i've never had a best friend before..I almost want to scream this is too much pressure..but I don't. There's a pleasant feeling humming my chest..and I decide this pressure I could deal with..especially when Kyle smiles at me.

"Cat got your tongue?" He smirks slightly.

"G-Gah! N-No!" I pout at his choice of words and he laughs..I laugh with him..and then I realize something..I'm still smiling..i've held this smile for the longest..and my chest almost aches from the feeling..I could sit here with Kyle, with him holding my hand, forever..

That's when the red head's phone goes off. I can't help but to frown at the interruption as Kyle pulls out his cell phone. "It's Stan.." He sounds in disbelief as he answers the phone..his eyes are bright at first..then they narrow..then he sighs. "Fine.." He hangs up.

"What -ngh- is it k-Kyle?" I tilt my head..still frowning.

"I have to go. apparently Cartman wants to see some romantic move..Stan wants me to come."

"T-That's great k-Kyle! h-he-"

"He's bring Wendy." His voice is bitter..and it causes me to stop..

"O-Oh.." I twitch in disappointment..looking down a bit..

A squeeze of my hand gets me to look up at Kyle..He's staring at me differently..a thoughtful expression on his face. "I wish I could bring you with me Tweek.."

My stomach does a jerk..I frown. "Y-Yeah..but C-Cartman would eat me If I came!"

Kyle..despite his bitter attitude a moment ago laughs gently. "You and your imagination Tweek." He shakes his head with a smile. "Do you want me to give you a ride home?"

"Are you sure it's -erk- s-safe?" I tremble just thinking about the wrong person seeing me in Kyle's car..the last thing I want is to get him in trouble.

"Dude it's only a block." Kyle rolls his eyes before he gets up. "..And really who cares if someone sees us together?"

Who cares? has Kyle lost it? I open my mouth to protest-

"Because I don't care." Kyle states..and all thoughts leave me. "Come on..lets go." He smiles at me..even though I'm gaping at him, he gets up..holding my hand firmly , he starts leading me out of my shop..I'm still in a daze..confused at Kyle's words..

If he doesn't care..why are we hiding? If he doesn't care..why don't I? I do care. I don't want people not liking Kyle because of me..I don't want to bring him down with me.

"You ok Tweek?" I blink over at the voice..and I realize..i'm in a car..and it's moving..I look over and see Kyle glancing at me for the driver seat..oh..sometimes this happens too..time skips..I can't remember how I got in here..but I remember Kyle saying something about giving me a ride..

I hate my messed up mind sometimes. I'm missing parts of my life..yet maybe there not that important anyway.

"F-Fine." I force my smile and he frowns slightly.

"Tweek." His eyes narrow.

"N-No really." I sigh as I take of the slip from the thermos I haven't let go of all day. "I'm o-okay Kyle." I give him a slight smile.

He stares at me a moment before he nods..I feel myself tense when he stops his car in front of my home..I feel a chill being sent down my spine..and a hint of anger..I take a deep breath, before looking at Kyle. "Thanks f-for the ride. H-Have fun at the movies."

"I won't." He grumbles but gives me almost teasing smile. "Have fun with Craig~"

"Gah you know I won't!" I screech and he laughs. I get out of his car and give him a wave good bye. I feel his eyes still on me as I walk up to my door..I take a deep breath and a slip of my coffee before I walk into this home I hate so much.

"Oh hello dear." My mother blinks up from something she's cooking in the kitchen..she smiles that odd smile of hers..her eyes always look so far away..as if she's not really here in the present at all. " Ready for family day?"

No. No i'm not.

"I-I'm sorry mom but -erk- i-i'm going to be h-hanging with a friend today." I force my smile when my mother whips around..those eyes wide.

"Hanging with a friend? Hunny Tweek is going to hang with a friend!" She calls.

"Oh that's wonderful son." My father comes in from the living room. "A friend is like ten coffee beans.." He doesn't go on. He doesn't explain. He never does. I feel the need to bash my head in but I just force the smile.

"Y-Yeah..i'm s-staying the night so I won't b-be back till tomorrow."

'A sleep over! How exciting." My mother hums.

"A sleep over is like a beautiful ray of sunshine." My father adds..

Then my mother goes back to cooking..and my father goes back into the living room to read his news paper..

See what I mean?

I sigh, actually happy I have a place to go tonight, I run up my stairs..my twitching dying down at being some where familiar..and if i'm at Craig's maybe the underpants gnomes won't know where I am! I brighten up at this as I make it into my room..slamming the door shut behind me. I take a deep breath before I walk over to my closet..and pull out a empty book bag. I don't think about where I'm going, or what I'm going to be doing as I stuff a button up shirt, some jeans, and pajama's into my bag. I look around nervously..seeing if I should pack anything else..that's when my eyes fall on my cell phone laying on my bed..I left it here again..it's not like any one talks to me. I walk over anyway and pick it up..opening it up just to check the time-

I'm surprise to find I have a missed call..and a couple of messages. The missed call is from Craig..and it seems he actually called me last night..I probably didn't hear my phone ringing because I was too busy with fighting the fucking gnomes, the annoying bastards!

I sigh and open up my messages..I have four. The first one is from Craig.

"How's therapy going?"

I wrinkle my nose at my lie..wondering why Craig even cares before I open the next one..it's Craig again.

"Got some kick ass soda for us. Better hurry up before I drink it all."

The next message..is from Kyle?

"Hey Tweek!"

My eyes widen a bit..Kyle never texts me..he has my numble but..we don't text just in case someone saw who we were talking to...I even changed Kyle's name to Rex under my contacts..

"Hey Kyle." I text back awkwardly..i'm not use to texting, I usually don't have anyone to text.

I go to my back to my messages to see the last one ..this one is from Craig again.

"Where are you?"

Persistent isn't he? I just type a simple. 'i'm on my way.' before I put my phone in my pocket and walk down stairs with my bag..I don't' see my parents any where..so i just walk over to our coffee maker and start making a new batch for me..i'm out in my thermos..I hum to myself as I grind the coffee beans, add the water..I've done this so many times..it's calming just like the coffee I drink..I need something to calm my nerves..as I finish making it..dumping the new batch in my thermos..ah..nice, hot, sweet coffee. I take a wiff...and as I put my lips to my themos..it hits me.

I'm about to go over to Craig's. About to stay the night in the boy's house! I've never even been there before!

I feel the panic start to crawl inside my chest..why would Craig even want me to come over?..and stay the night? Is he planning on killing me? Selling me to the gnomes? is he really a assassin? Who knows? He could have been hired by Cartman to kill me!

No. No I can't go. What was I thinking?..It was his eyes..they pierced through me..and all I could do was to agree to whatever he said..He does have some sort of super power! He's a super powered assassin!

Nope. I'm not going. i'm not-

I feel a vibration in my pants and I scream, gripping my thermos so I don't drop it...i'm shaking too much so I put my precious coffee on the counter to keep from spilling it..before I pull out my phone..seeing I have a new message. I calm only a little..just to tense right back up.

It's from Craig.

"Better be." Is all the message says..and it gets my insides to clench..

I let out another scream when my phone vibrates again in my hand before I can even respond to Craig..it's from Kyle.

"What's up?"

Without thinking I just types in actually what is up.

"I"m freaking out!" I send the message before dropping my phone next to my thermos. I move shakily over to the sink..turning it on, about to splash my face..I feel like i'm about to fall and have a full out panic attack..I can't deal with this. Too much pressure!

That's when I see the note on the cabinet above the sink..by the neat hand writing, I can tell my mother wrote this.

"I'm so glad you have a friend Tweek! Me and your father are going out to enjoy ourselves since you won't be here! have fun! and don't hurt yourself."

I feel my face fall to a scowl..me momentarily forgetting my panic..She didn't even ask who my friend was..but of course, they don't really care. Whatever I say just goes into one ear and comes out the other. I'm 17 years old and they either treat me like a child, or treat me as if i'm not there. i'ts ridiculous. My hands start shaking more as I cup some of the cold water and throw it on me..shivering at the chill of it..i'm making a mess..the water getting all over my shirt and the floor but at this point I don't care..

Craig is going to kill me.

I hear my phone going off..taking a deep breath I walk back over it..and my chest tightens..when I see Kyle is calling me. I grab the phone and open it quickly..surprising myself.

"Dude are you ok?" Kyle sounds like he's frowning..his voice full of concern.

"N-No!" My body jerks..my breathing uneven. "I j-just agreed to stay the night w-with Craig! h-he's going to kill me Kyle! That's the only l-logical reason he would invite me over!"

"Calm down Tweek..take a deep breath..deep breath for me ok?"

At his voice..I do. I take a deep breath..then let it out..take another deep breath..and let it out..it makes me feel a little calmer but not by much.

"Craig isn't going to kill you Tweek. I don't like him, and he's an ass hole but he's not a murderer..it's just your over active imagination."

"T-Then why would he a-ask me to stay at his house all of a sudden w-when i've never had before!"

"..Maybe he wants to get closer to you.." Kyle's voice sounds odd.

"Y-Yeah close so he c-can -erk- kill me!" I scream, my body shaking so much.

"Tweek if your so scared why don't you just not go?"

"And r-risk pissing him off? Gah! H-He would just kill me in the most horrible w-way!" I hug myself..bowing my head.

"..I'm sure you have this all wrong Tweek..how about this. why don't you go..and in a couple hours i'll call on you and check up, if you want out, then i'll come get you if I have to..but if everything's fine, you can stay and have fun. Just know that you're not alone, and I know where you are. Craig won't kill you."

His words get me to calm down..just enough so I can actually grab my coffee and take a greedy slip..that's right..Kyle knows where I will be..the fact of Kyle checking up on me makes me happy for some reason..I try to gather my thoughts in my jabbed up brain..

"..Y-You would really..-ngh- pick me up?" I get out..trying not to sound so shaky.

"Of course. This movie blows anyway. We just got here and already Stan and Wendy are making out..ugh. it's so hard sometimes having to watch it..him being with her..him being so close but so far.."

"K-Kyle.." I twitch slightly..frowning..forgetting about my own panic, forgetting i'm about to go over Craig Tucker's..my mind focuses on my friend..and his problem. " I c-can't imagine how it feels..i-i've never had someone so close to me..like h-how you and Stan are..t-then to see them with someone e-else..gah..it s-sounds like way too much pressure man.."

"Oh it is." There's a smile in his tone..maybe it's small..but it's a smile. "I hope you never experience it Tweek..your a good guy. You deserve someone who will treat you right."

I'm not a good guy. Butter's is a good guy. Kyle is a good guy. I'm just the crazy guy.

"Y-Yeah sure." I hear myself grunt..I know Kyle is just being nice to me..he's too nice to me.

"Got to go. The movie is starting but I'll call you in a couple of hours ok? Everything is going to be fine."

"T-Thanks Kyle.." I find my lips twitching.

"Any time Tweek." I hear the smile in his voice..before he hangs up..

Ok..so Kyle will call me..so if Craig does try anything..I know Kyle knows where I am and will pick me up..also i'm not a weakling..I know boxing. After that fight in the third grade with Craig I still went out to practice my boxing..I don't want to be a weakling..I'm not going to brag, but I have a mean punch.

Craig doesn't know who he's messing with.

I nod to myself..grab my book bag and put it on my shoulders, before putting my phone in my pocket and grabbing my coffee..I turn and glare at the front door..determination on my face..I feel the fire in my chest as I start to walk towards the door..towards getting out of here..towards Craig's house..

Instead of going to the door I make a sharp turn and end up sitting on the couch..I place my coffee down before I hold my head in my hands..am I crazy? I can't do this! Craig would eat me alive and I know it! I would be frozen by those piercing eyes..maybe I could just stay here..lock all the doors and hide in my closet..then I wouldn't have to go..and Craig couldn't get to me right?

Yeah..that's what i'm going to have to do..I can hide in here..

Just as i'm making my decision..The TV suddenly turns on by it's self..The sudden sound of static gets me to screech. I jump up, whipping my head to look at the TV..The white static noise filling the air. I look around frantically for the TV remote..I find it on the floor in front of me..I get up and quickly grab it, hitting the power button. The TV turns off..leaving the house in complete silence again..

"What the hell w-was that?" I twitch as I go back to sit back down..only for a clicking to be heard..then the static fills the room. I whip around in panic..only to see the TV right back on. I click on the power button..it turns off..only to turn right back on. There's a panic in me..with a frustration as I fight with the TV to keep it off..but every time I turn it off..it turns right back on..What the hell is wrong with our TV? is this the governments doing? Are they trying to drive me insane?

I'm already there.

When the TV turns back on by it's self for the tenth time, I can't help but to scream in frustration. "That's it!" I march over to the outlet..I grab the TV plug and rip it out..The TV being silence. "Let m-me see you come back on now." I grin cockily..something I never do as I stride away from the TV..feeling a good..

The TV turns back on.

I whip around..but the plug isn't back in the wall..The TV is on..yet it's not plugged in..That cockiness is replaced by horror..I grab at my hair at the maddening sound of the static..

That's when I hear..laughter..It's a dark chuckle..and it seems to be coming all around me..

That's it. The last straw. I'm losing my mind and I can't stay in this house. I scream as I grab my bag and coffee before I run out of my house..almost tripping on the slippery snow but I never stop running..I don't have my jacket..I left it..the cold air is hitting the skin exposed through my shirt..damn things, I can't never button them right..

Times like this I wish I took medication. That isn't normal. It can't be..Now i'm running outside in the cold, screaming..It's so cold too..I already feel my hands getting numb..I hadn't wanted to do this..I wanted to hide..to stay away from Craig..but I have no where else to go..

I can't handle being alone right now.

I have no choice..

I'm going to Craig's.

So how was it? Please review and i'm open to suggestions for the pairings in this!

Till next time:)