Before I say anything else, this story is not a hundred percent my idea. I was on Tumblr and I saw this fantastic gifset by bonesys and I was like "I GOTTA WRITE THIS STORY". So I started writing... and found myself writing a lot more than I intended to.
Without further ado, I present to you Freaky Friday in space with our favourite crew.
Disclaimer: No I don't own Star Trek.
there's no substitution for you
"So you did… what?" Sulu's eyebrows furrow as the doors slide open, letting him walk through with Chekov.
The young teenager is about to launch into another long-winded explanation when something blows right between them and knocks both men off balance. "Hey!"
The doors slide shut behind Dr. McCoy's speedily retreating form and Chekov just shrugs as he rights himself. "Maybe he's just hungry," he offers.
"The mess hall is where we're going, and he's going the other way. You know, for a navigator, you really do have poor navigational skills."
Chekov pouts and Sulu bursts out laughing. "Come on, kid, you know I'm joking. Let's go get some dinner. Outmaneuvering Klingons always makes me hungry."
"Kirk!" Bones slams onto the bridge, thinking bitterly that his entrance would be a lot more dramatic if those damn doors weren't so graceful. "Where the hell are you?"
The captain is, however, not on the bridge. Instead, Bones is greeted with the startled glances of the rest of the crew and the cool stare of a Vulcan First Commander. "The Captain is not currently present, Doctor," Spock says in his level tone. "Perhaps you'd be better off finding him in the mess hall."
"I checked the mess hall – he's not there-"
"Perhaps his room, then." Spock's face does not change its expression.
"If he's in there he's not answering, the damn idiot."
"If I may presume to ask, Doctor," Spock says politely, "exactly why are you searching for the Captain?"
Bones throws up his hands. "I am the CMO on this ship, correct?"
"That is correct, Doctor."
"So when it comes to health and safety my word is law, correct?"
"Not always, Doctor. One would think that the Department of Biological Sciences would have all say in the matters of-"
"Shut up, you pointy-eared hobgoblin. On this ship I know best when it comes to health and safety matters." Bones stalks over to a vacant chair and sinks into it with a huff. "Which means when I tell someone – even if it's the damn captain – to take his medication, I mean it."
"Without the medication, he will continue to suffer adverse ill-effects from the Stelamite pollen," Spock says blandly.
"Well, at least someone on this ship knows what that means." Bones props his chin on his hand. "Damn it all, Jim."
Spock opens his mouth to say something but is cut off by the ship suddenly rocking violently to the left. "Sir!" a panicky female voice yells. "There's a problem!"
Bones resists rolling his eyes and making a sarcastic remark about how observant this shift was. Instead, he struggles to hold onto something as the ship rocks again, making a groaning noise that he doesn't particularly enjoy hearing. "What the hell?" he shouts.
Spock just ignores him and continues to issue commands, despite the unflattering pose he is currently in. From where he is splayed across the floor, he calmly states, "It appears that we have not actually been hit, but we have been sucked into a gravitational-"
"Don't tell me what this is, man, tell me how we're going to get out of it!"
"Doctor, you are panicking with no reason. It is merely-" Spock is cut off when a bright light sears the room, causing everyone on the bridge to throw up their hands involuntarily.
The last thing Bones remembers before hitting the floor is Spock collapsing against the railing, mouth wide in what he would best describe a surprised yelp. If the situation weren't so dire, Bones thinks before everything goes dark, it would be utterly hilarious to see the Vulcan try to grapple with surprise.
As always, let me know what you think!