The Uchiha Guide to Babysitting


Now Sasuke was a stoic man who never showed his emotions, but when he heard the terrible news from the hokage, he couldn't help dropping his jaw in shock. Yes, that'sjust how bad she surprised him. "Babysitting," she had said, "Is your new punishment."

Babysitting! Babysitting?! That had to be the most absurd idea he had ever heard in his entire lifetime and he had heard some pretty stupid ideas in his life, especially from Naruto. A second later, he recomposed himself and bore into Tsunade's eyes with his own. "I refuse," He stated bluntly.

The hokage quirked an eyebrow amusedly at his answer, leaning onto her elbows on her desk, she clasped her hands together and stared at him as intensely as he was at her. "Listen closely, Sasuke. I'm sorry, but you don't have a choice. The council has made up their mind and so have I."

"The council said 1000 hours of community service was fine!" Sasuke said as he narrowed his eyes at the pale-blond hokage. "More specifically, missions were fine. I refuse to babysit a bunch of noisy kids."

Tsunade frowned mockingly. "You seem to be just as noisy right now, Sasuke." The man scowled. "I suggest you keep quiet and get started on your hours."

Sasuke glared heatedly at the authoritative woman, his chest heaved as he seethed with anger. "Why?" He all but hissed. Seriously, the community service was fine, the 1000 hours was fine, but 1000 hours of babysitting was just too much.

"Oh. You want a reason for the sudden change?" Tsunade smirked sadistically. "It's because, Uchiha, I may be merciful enough to talk the Council out of giving you the death sentence, but I still like to have some fun of my own."

"So you're restricting me to just babysitting so you can get some entertainment out of it?" Sasuke asked, exasperated, before his expression darkened. "You realize I hate kids with a burning passion."

Tsunade continued to smirk. "That makes it all the more entertaining! But if you don't think you can handle it, feel free to try to find someone to help you. You start tomorrow at the Konoha daycare from six in the morning until closing time. You have a year to complete your hours, which should be more than enough time considering there are 8760 hours a year. Now, get out. I have paperwork to do."

Sasuke felt like he was about to blow any second, but instead, he wiped his face clean of emotion – he wasn't about to let the hokage have the pleasure of seeing his inner fury! Walking out of her office as calmly as he could – meaning he was moving stiffly to refrain from stomping – he opened the door to see Sakura standing outside.

When she saw him, she smiled in greeting, which was a relief because he wasn't sure if he could take on a fangirling Sakura without exploding. Nodding slightly to acknowledge her presence, he turned towards Tsunade one last time and snarled, "If I kill any of them, it's on you," before continuing down the hall.

But before he was out of hearing range, he heard Tsunade burst out into cackle-like laughter and yelled from her office, "I'll take on that challenge, Uchiha, but for every child you kill, you owe the village population three more!"

Sasuke shuddered, and he hoped he had enough self-control to kill less than three… Or else he was just downright screwed.


Five minutes later, Sasuke stood in front of the hokage tower, chatting with Naruto. Well actually, they weren't really chatting, it was more like glaring and laughing; Naruto was laughing at Sasuke's misfortune and Sasuke was attempting to murder him with his looks. But no matter how deadly the look he wore, his best friend just would not shut up! Sliding his hand over his face in irritation, Sasuke wasn't sure how much more he could take before he would switch from using his looks to his hands to kill.

Fortunately for him, he would not be charged with first degree murder that day because Naruto's laughter finally died down a little. But to his horror, the blond ran into the crowded streets and pulled out a little boy, dragging him over to Sasuke.

"What are you doing, dobe? That's kidnapping!" Sasuke said, alarm ringing in his head. He knew Naruto was crazy, but surely he wasn't crazy enough to just take random children from the street, right?

Noticing the questioning look from Sasuke, Naruto quickly explained himself, his hand still on the collar of the little boy's shirt. "He was alone already, teme! We can help him get home in a second, so keep your voice down!" He looked to and fro, checking whether anybody overheard their exchange, before he turned back to the boy, his voice raising, "Hey kid, sorry about that. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you to talk to your parents about Konoha daycare –" Sasuke's eyes narrowed at his bastard of a friend and refrained himself from strangling him. "It's a very fun place with lots of toys and games!" Naruto pointed at Sasuke, whose eye twitched. "This guy works there too now, so you can play with him all you want!" The boy looked over at Sasuke with a blank face. Sasuke figured he should at least fake a small smile at the kid, but it looked more like a grimace.

"Not to mention," Naruto continued, "There's a really pretty lady who works there in the morning." He smirked at the kid, whose attention was refocused on the blond. Sasuke inwardly shook his head. As if the kid would want to a daycare just to see some pretty lady! Peering at the kid from the corner of his eye, he realized that the boy had been extremely quiet (and calm) the entire time. Perhaps he was like the Uchiha – emotionless and uncaring, in which case was too bad for him, but if it was true, then the boy would not go to the daycare at all.

Wanting to end the conversation, Sasuke turned away and was about to ask the child where his home was, but the boy spoke first, "I'll come." He heard footsteps come closer to him, before the child spoke again. "I'll bring my older brother and maybe my big sister too." He paused, seeming to contemplate something. "She likes dark-haired guys."

Sasuke tensed at once and the boy looked up at him innocently, though his face had yet to show emotion. The Uchiha was going to get three more kids to babysit and another fan girl. He heard Naruto laughing behind him, and all Sasuke could think about was how on earth he would survive 1000 hours of babysitting and how maybe he really would commit first degree murder that day.

Damn it all.

Author's Note

Extremely short, but this is just an idea. This is my first Naruto fanfic, so I'm testing the waters by writing this fic. I have more of the plot planned out just in case I get positive feedback for this story. If anyone thinks I should continue, please leave a review or fave/follow and I will post the next chapter, which will have Sasuke actually start babysitting. Thank you, readers, for taking the time to read my story! :)