A/N: Just an all-dialogue Lutecest oneshot! Hope you enjoy!

"Do you mind if I ask you a theoretical question?"

"The only thing I mind, brother, is when you ask me first."

"In theory, would it be wrong to love oneself?"

"That's an…odd question. What do you mean?"

"In a situation like ours, where someone spent quite a bit of time with themselves—would it be wrong for one version of the person to love the other?"

"Define wrong. I love you almost more than myself—but I suppose that isn't possible. Hm."

"Wrong as in not accepted by society."

"In that case, brother, us even being in the same place is wrong."

"Suppose that was readily accepted. Everyone had another version of themselves."

"I doubt it would be considered 'wrong'. It would likely be more wrong if one didn't love the other version of themselves. I love you, brother, and if that's wrong I'm not sure I'd like to know what right is."

"I didn't mean platonic love. I was thinking of romantic love."

"…ah. That's a rather different story. You should have implicitly stated that at the beginning. I suppose people would consider it to be rather like incest. Odd, disgusting, and rather 'wrong'."

"Do you think of it that way?"

"I would have to give it more thought—I'm not entirely sure. I suppose, theoretically, if the person in question truly was in love with themselves, it wouldn't be wrong."

"I have a confession."

"A confession, brother?"

"I wasn't speaking in theoretical terms."

"You know someone else who brought themselves over? Who? Oh, this will be fascinating."

"No, no, I meant that I love you."

"As do I—you still aren't explaining."

"For geniuses we rather do miss the point on occasion. I meant that I romantically love you."

"Once again, you should have implicitly stated that."

"Do you love me in the same way?"



"I suppose if you do, then I must."

"But do you—"

"Feel the love, as it were?"


"Every so often, when I look at you, I have a wrenching feeling. As if everything in my life orbits around you. Which I suppose is the truth now. I'm not sure if that's true love or not."

"Do you think you would know if you kissed me?"

"Hm. Good question."

"I know."

"No, you don't."

"I don't?"

"Perhaps you do. Well, I suppose it's worth a try."

"Now do you know?"

"I believe I do."


"And I firmly believe that I am in love with you."

"You always were narcissistic. "

"You were the one who confessed your love for me first."


"Well, brother, I'm glad we had this discussion."

"And I as well."

"I know."

"I know you know."

"I know you know I know."

"I know you know you know I know? No, that isn't right…"

"Robert, kindly stop before you make an absolute fool of yourself."


A/N: All feedback is super-appreciated.