DDK here now I know you all been waiting on my other story which I'm not gonna give up on it's just having writers block at the moment, don't know what that means to be honest I was thinking it's because an author doesn't know what to write next, anyways until then I'm gonna write another story an hopefully by that time I can get back to writing the other one.
Anyway this is a story where Marvels very own merc with the mouth starts a new life in the DC universe only to be thrown into Arkham Asylum at the same time when Joker takes over. Oh and by the way if I write down Wade and Deadpool a lot you all would know it's the same person.
Rated M: will involve Blood and Gore, Strong Language, some Sexual Theme
DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman
"Deadpools inner thoughts"
"Deadpools inner thoughts"
Chapter 1: The Mad house
The front doors of Arkham Asylum opened to reveal Batman standing outside the raining storm with The Joker kneeling next to him with his hands cuffed behind his back as the dark knight grabbed the clowns arm to get him up to his feet and starts pushing him forward to start walking as they were met with a group of Arkham guards that were armed with rifles and a bald headed man wearing a blue suit while holding a cane in his hands as the man only glared at both Batman and Joker at the same time.
"Hey Sharpie love what you done with the place" Joker stated while chuckling as usual with the sick grin like smile on his face that the bald man was disgusted with before slamming his cane down on the floor.
"That's Warden Sharp to you clown, Boles get him strapped in and out of my sight I've already have enough out of that red costume clown earlier for tonight and I'm already getting a headache from him and Joker at the same time" the warden spoke as one of the guards walked up and took Joker from Batman's grasp and walked him towards a stand up stretcher.
"Really another clown here? Oh maybe he and I should get together for a cup of tea sometimes haha" Joker said while being strapped onto the stretcher by two other guards while Boles took point of aiming his rifle in case the clown prince would do anything to escape.
Batman glared at Joker as he had felt a unsettling feeling in his head, "Warden something's not right I'm going with him" the dark knight told Sharp without taking his train eyes off of Joker.
"Very well then, Commissioner Gordon is already on the lower levels interrogating that other clown" Sharp said before walking off as Batman began following the guards that were taking Joker while making a note to himself to look into this other *clown* that the warden had mention.
Commissioner James Gordon was not having a good night; first an unexpected fire had happened at Blackgate prisonforcing all the surviving prisoners, mainly The Jokers crew, then Joker invades city hall an took the mayor hostage which ended quickly when Batman arrived and was on his way to deliver the mad clown back to Arkham, now while waiting he was stuck interrogating an unknown man wearing a red and black spandex suit from head to toe was sitting across from the table in the middle of the room with his booted feet up and was leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head as if he was relaxing , "I'll ask you once more, what is your name" Gordon asked the mysterious masked man.
"I told you already gramps, the names Deadpool, the merc with the mouth, the woohoo of woohoo's, the most awesome-"Deadpool would have continued until James stopped him by waving his hand.
"Yes yes you told me that already but I was talking about your real name and where did you come from an all" he asked as Wade stared blankly at him.
"…Well I would be happy to answer that….unless I can get a plate of chimichangas!" the merc said as James would let out a sigh before standing up from his seat.
"Sure you'll get that after talking with a friend of mine when he gets here" he said sarcastically before walking towards the door to leave and would wait until Batman arrives.
"Talk to ya soon gramps!" Deadpool shouted while waving at his retreating figure before the door slammed shut, "man what's with that guys problem, it's like he's got a pole up his ass or something" Wade muttered to himself.
"More like driven him insane of talking about our daily life for five minutes"
"That's a new record right there!"
Wade jumped up to his feet at hearing the two voices he knew very well," what the fuck man! I thought I left you two schmucks back home?!" Wade yelled at no one in the room he was in as the voices he heard were coming from his head.
"Well we can't certainly leave since we're just voices in your head, and even if we can were not sure if we should be able to return to home"
"Speaking of which um how did we get here again?"
"Well I gotten pretty bored in the world we lived in and wanted to see other worlds of what they were like, so I was thinking "hey maybe Stark Industries has some dimensional device to travel to other worlds because if Tony Stark can build a whole bunch of Iron Man suits then he sure to have built one by now" so I snuck in, blew some stuff up, found the device and here I am!" Wade explained after overcoming his shock and anger at the two voices that were still with him.
"That's so cool!…oh wait didn't we make a note to borrow one of Iron Man's suits whenever we make a visit?"
Wade paused his thoughts for a moment to try remembering what his inner voice said,"…you right must have slipped my mind, maybe we can do that whenever we get back" he said to them.
"So how did we get here in the first place?"
"Oh I thought this was some hotel the people here look great, greeting their guest with guns pointing at them when you walk through the front door, some nice bellboys kindly took my weapons for safe keeping for whenever I decide to leave, the manager here has a funny name Quincy Sharp" Deadpool explained as he remember meeting the guards and meeting Quincy Sharp himself.
"More like Sharpie ahahahaha!"
At this Wade started laughing himself along with inner voices that were laughing as Wade wipe his finger under the eye line of his mask as if wiping off a tear," I know right that what I said the first time, what kind of fucked up parents name their kid with shit like that?" Wade said before he continued to laugh while fallen onto the floor and rolled around during so.
"As humorous as this is I don't believe this is a hotel, it looks more like an asylum"
"Eh…an asylum? You mean like where those crazy folks in stray jackets go to?"
"Exactly my point if you want to call it that"
At this time Wade had stopped laughing and had sat up on the floor," what the hell man? I know they say that I'm unstable and all but that's just overkill of just throwing me in the nut house, this is bullshit" Wade said just then the lights went out only to be replaced by red lights as an alarming sound was being made outside the room," now what the hell is going on?" Wade asked in wonder only to hear echoing sounds of someone's insane laugh.
"Does red lights, alarming noise, and laughing sounds good to you?"
"Only one way to find out, let's go see what's going on"
Agreeing with his inner voice Deadpool would get up and walked towards the door that Gordon walked through only to find it lock when he twisted the handle, "hmm the door is lock, time to give these chumps what Deadpool is all about by making a exciting entrance" Wade said while rubbing his hands together.
"Oh oh are you gonna kick the door down like in the movies?"
"What? fuck no we blow the shit up" Wade told his inner voice, if anyone would have been in the same room and say him talking to no one they would think he was insane.
"How are you going to do that when they took all your weapons and gear?"
"You dare underestimate me? behold and be amazed" Wade said as he place both of his hands behind before he starts making painful grunting sounds for a few moments until he lets out a sigh and pulls out a C4 bomb in his hands, "Tada one C4 hold the mustard, I manage to smuggled this in with me, don't ask me how trust me you don't wanna know" Wade said while dusting the bomb off.
"Your right because I have a idea on how anyways"
"Eww so totally gross"
Before Deadpool would stick the C4 to the door he paused to turn to face the reader, "hey reader seriously don't ask, this was uncomfortable to carry around the whole time" he said before turning back to the door and stuck the C4 to it before pressing a few buttons to activate it as the timer went out to five seconds.
"Uh wait shouldn't we have kept back at a safe dis-"
About fifteen seconds earlier outside the interrogation room
Two of Jokers thugs were done beating the guard to death with steel pipes in their hands as they were released from their cells when the clown prince of crime got loose with Batman now hunting him down through the entire Arkham Island, right now Joker had put these two thugs to use to retrieve the new comer that was inside the interrogation room.
Thug 1: "That'll show him not to fuck with us, now remind me again who we are supposed to get?"
Thug 2: "No idea the boss said that he wants to welcome him or something but he didn't say that we should play nice"
Thug 1: "Yeah Joker wouldn't mind a few bruises here and there or some broken bon-"
Both thugs were caught in the explosion from the door as the two were now on the floor lifeless as Deadpool slowly walked out from the destroyed door he created as he saw the two thugs that were killed on the floor then took in a deep breath to smell the scent of his freedom.
"Now that's how you make an entrance, I love the smell of smoke from a bomb that went off" Wade said proudly at his work of art.
"Hell yes that was awesome, those dudes probably didn't expect t the door to explode"
"It's a good thing we still have our healing factor, otherwise we would have been killed like they were"
"Alright now that we're out what comes next?' Wade asked.
"First we need to get our equipment back, then find out where we are"
"Yeah despite the clothing we kind of feel naked without them"
"Naked I can deal with, long as I keep the mask on, but your right without our weapons we do feel a little exposed, any idea's where to look first?" Wade asked out once more.
"My suggestion is that their being kept in the weapons area where the guards store their guns"
"Right to the weapons room!" Wade said before taking off running down the hall and through another door that opens by themselves for him to pass through as Deadpool found himself in another hall with open prison cells, "huh this looks more like a prison than some nut house" Wade said as he starts walking down the hallways while passing by more dead bodies of prison guards.
"Wonder what happened here?"
"What always happen in prison, the food taste terrible and got the prisoners pissed off that caused a riot"
"And we missed it?! Aww man that's bullshit"
"Yeah no shit especially with all the chaos that must of happened" Deadpool said while he turned around the corner and passed up a few wall TV monitors were hanged up as the Joker would suddenly pop in.
"Hello is anyone there?" Joker called out that caused Deadpool to jump and turned around to face the TV's.
"What the fuck? Is that a fucking clown talking on TV?" Wade thought to himself as he stared up at the monitors as The Joker laughed.
"Ah you must be the new boy here in Arkham, I was wondering where my boys were when they were sent to find you but where are my manners I forgot to introduce myself, Joker's the name and now the one in charge of the Asylum" the clown prince of crime said while making his traditional laughter as Deadpool continue to stare at him blankly.
"Oh gods that laughter is so annoying it makes me just want to shot myself in the head"
"That or we can just shot him instead to ensure it never happens again"
"Good plan" Wade thought to his inner self's while he continues to stare at the clown who was now stopping his laughter to continue speaking.
"I don't know who exactly you are but let me be the first to welcome you and that I hope you enjoy your stay here, now I would love to chat and get to know each other but I have a island to run, a party to plan, and a bat to kill" Joker said his last words before the screen cuts off to the Arkham Asylum logo.
Deadpool continue to stare blankly at the screen that the clown was on the air moments ago for a minute till he spoke up, "what kind of a shit ass place is this that's being run by a fucking clown?" Wade said out loud.
"You can say that again, lets just go get our weapons"
"Yeah so we can go hunt down and kill that annoying asshole"
Deadpool nodded in agreement as he would resume his walk down the hall and around the corner until he froze in place and stared out forward for unknown reason.
"Why are we stopping now?"
"That's a very good question, Why?"
Wade continue to stare out before slowly raising his hand up with his finger pointing out forward, "Lo-behold" was his only response as down the end of the hall stood Harley Quinn wearing a sexy nurse uniform with her hand resting on one side of her hip while the other was playing with one of her blonde pigtails as she was smiling at Wade.
"Oh baby I think we found a winner here!"
"Look at the size of her boobs, so big and round must touch!"
Harley continued to smile at the dumb struck costume man before she spoke in a seductive tone at him, "like what you see big boy? Oh what am I saying of course you do, who would resist these babies?" she asked while Harley's hands grasp both of her breast from under then gave a wink towards Wade.
"Jackpot!" Deadpool shouted before he starts running down the hall towards Harley only to not realized that he was running straight to an electric force field barrier and was immediately being zapped that caused him to make painful zapping noise that caused his entire body to flash into a glowing skeleton for a few moments till the barrier dropped and Wade's body was steaming as he dropped back onto the floor as this caused Harley to laugh out in amusement as a group of Joker's thugs along with a knock out Commissioner Gordon being dragged by Frank Boles stepped out.
"I can't believe you fell for that you're much more of a dumbass than I thought, alright boys take him away and lock him up somewhere until Mr. J decides what to do with him, I have a bat to take care of" Harley said as she turns and starts skipping off while humming a song to herself.
Deadpool had slowly regain consciousness as he looked up to see Harley was skipping away before reaching his hand out to her, "wait…come back…boobies" he mumble out till he notice a shadow was over him as he look up in time to see Frank Boles fist coming to his face and Deadpools vision had gone black.
That one went well I believe, and having good news I'm back on track on what chapter to write on my other story. The voices in Deadpools head would be the same voices from the new Deadpool game, which is awesome.
Next time chaos would begin as Deadpool gain his weapons back, which would be a pair of katana's and dual wielding pistols, and his hunt for Joker would begin.
Later folks, DDK out.