A/N: something i had started a while ago just after i finished LIL. i give you a one-shot inbetween for you fans who want more of this "series." I dunno if i'll start a sequel or not, but i figured I'd give you something extra for being awesome readers. enjoy~
Ten years was what Sesshomaru always said. He couldn't believe it though. Who survived that long together? Who even lived that long? Inuyasha wished he hadn't sometimes, the pain of the past far too much to bear some days, or nights, or mornings, or afternoons. It was this never ending cycle of pain that never stopped, never increased, and only numbed him to the point of emotionally and physically blocking everyone he loved off. There was no touching unless it was necessary and gentle. There was no sex, no dates, no roughness unless it was with their kids. He was a zombie, this wasn't how he wanted to live anymore.
From being a highly paid prostitute to a stay at home dad and part time dance teacher was just the cherry on top of all the emotional and physical pain he had felt for so long. He was dead inside already, technically, he was actually dead. When he had been taken to the hospital with Sesshomaru it was discovered that where the bullet had hit killed him before he even hit the ground. It was a miracle that his demon blood even kicked in, or he wouldn't be sitting up in bed again, wondering why his demon blood even bothered. Sure, Sesshomaru nearly suffered from permanent brain damage. It would have only taken one more hit into the window for him to lose all functionality and be nothing but a mass of flesh with no way to move or speak.
So sure, he wasn't the only one still suffering, Sesshomaru was always on the phone with someone because he was too afraid to leave the house to speak to a therapist. Hell, he didn't even have to leave the house to work, but his electronic therapist told him to get out more, which meant hour long drives into town down from the valley so he could sit in an office again; like usual.
The kids of course were perfect, if not for their shyness they'd be angels, but being adopted, and apparently losing their real parents in a car accident that even they were involved in probably had something to do with it. Kiyomi was shy, but she forced herself to be out there for her brother. She joined dance so she could get closer to Inuyasha, and tended to get in trouble at school for jumping in to protect her twin from bullies and other school yard dangers. If they took her out of those situations though, she was beyond cautious and focused more on her own achievements, even if they were just to get through the day without making her father's scream at her, or to fall off the top floor balcony again. Etsuo was even worse though, being beyond quiet and nearly mute, he just didn't do anything. The family was like one big mental disorder, but it helped to know that Inuyasha wasn't the only one dead inside of his head and heart.
Pulling back the covers again, like every night before, he slipped out of the bedroom and wrapped himself up in a sweater and shawl, shuffling barefoot out into the fields behind the large, cabin-esque house. He stood there for a long time, just staring out at the moon, the hanyou sighed and pulled the shawl tightly around himself. He never used to feel this cold...maybe it was because he was doing this alone, but he didn't want to drag Sesshomaru into his problems anymore. The demon had enough on his plate, even if he tried to play it off like he was fine.
Huffing, the hanyou turned around and headed back inside, being quiet as he climbed the stairs and went back to his bedroom. Inuyasha slipped silently back under the covers, the demon far off on his own side which left him feeling even colder. He fell asleep quick enough though, finding that he was passing out much easier now then a few years ago, but as always it wasn't a peaceful sleep that he was pulled into. Nightmares always plagued his head and Inuyasha was soon bolting up right in bed, screaming out for help as his heart raced rapidly. Normally they were tamer...but the dream had held too many memories, had felt too real. With Naraku and his father both on him, both violating him in his dream, the hanyou was soon sobbing into his hands.
"Inuyasha?" The demon questioned, sitting up quickly and reaching out for him, though he stopped, unsure if he was allowed to touch him, "Are you alright? What's going on?"
"I...I..f-fuck.." He whine, pulling his knees up to his chest, "I can't do this anymore...I can't sleep without seeing them all over me...I can't walk around without feeling watched...Naraku's dead and all I can do is wander and look dead. I am dead. I shouldn't fucking be here!"
"Hey, hey, calm down..." Sesshomaru growled, gently grabbing the hanyou's arm as he shifted closer. His other arm wrapped around him, allowing Inuyasha to lean into him. It had been a long time since he had touched him, even longer since they had been intimate. "They aren't here, they can't hurt you anymore. And even if in their death they did, I'm right here."
"I don't want to live like this anymore...Sesshomaru, I'm so tired...Tired of being afraid, and pushing everyone away and acting like I'm fine when I'm clearly not. This fucking sucks!" He cried, pushing his face into the crook of the demon's neck, his hands resting on his chest.
Sighing, Sesshomaru pulled him up into his lap and cradled him closely. His hands smoothed over his back and then one gently began to pet the hanyou's hair. Before Inuyasha could protest, he found himself purring at the small affections given, though he found himself yearning for a little more. They used to kiss and fuck all the time, and now they just hugged or kissed a little, then went on their own ways. He didn't feel married, in fact he felt distant, like they hadn't done a thing. Pulling back a little, eyes half lidded, he leaned in and brushed his lips against the demon's.
"I want your kisses..." He whispered, reaching up to cup Sesshomaru's face.
"Are...are you sure you're ready for more than what I've given?" The demon whispered, fingers tangling in his hair as he spoke against his lips.
"Mhm...please...I want to try."
Sighing, the demon slowly pressed their lips together, holding the hanyou close to his body as they worked their lips together. Eyes closing, Sesshomaru gently pried his husband's mouth open with his tongue and pushed inside, moaning softly as Inuyasha's arms wrapped around his neck. The dancer kissed back just as slow, catching the demon's tongue and sucking on it gently before he nipped it. He could feel the demon purr against him in contentment, causing him to continue his purring as well. Before he knew it he was on his back, his face, lips and body suddenly littered with kisses and gently love bites. Gasping, Inuyasha tilted his head back as he let himself feel something more than torment and hatred. It felt good to be touched again, even if it was just this. This was what he needed.
Sesshomaru was soon biting and licking at his hip bones, moving his tongue up to his navel before he was back to assaulting his lips with his own. He pressed their bodies together, slowly moving against each other as the demon moved his hand between them and grasped both their cocks together. The hanyou gasped, eyes snapping open until the demon was kissing them closed again.
"Relax...nothing more than this...I need more than your lips, Inuyasha...It's been too long...but I won't do more than this." He murmured against his skin, pumping and rubbing their members together.
Soon gaining a good pace, both brothers found themselves thrusting into the hand that held them together, their breathing rapid. The hanyou grabbed at the demon, kissing him hard as he was stroked and rubbed, the feel of Sesshomaru's cock bringing up the old feelings he had held for sex back to the surface. He bit at the demon's lips, moaning at the feeling between his legs. He felt close, possibly because he had neglected to please himself in ages it seemed.
"Ses...Sesshomaru..." He moaned again, his kiss becoming sloppy, "I'm close..."
"Hnn...Me too..." The demon groaned, pulling his lips away to go after Inuyasha's neck, "Together..."
Oh, that was an odd request. Normally they didn't, as Inuyasha was the first to blow a load before, so to know that the demon was just as close as himself made him nearly cum at that moment. He held back though, allowing Sesshomaru to thrust and stroke them more before they couldn't take it any longer and cried out with their release. Their seed shot out over their stomachs, most of it mixing on the hanyou's chest and stomach, leaving him covered and sticky. Bracing himself over the hanyou, Sesshomaru leaned down and slurped up what he could, gathering their semen into his mouth. Crawling up his body, he held the back of Inuyasha's head as he kissed him and transferred their loads to his mouth instead, forcing him to swallow their bitter fluids.
The hanyou still moaned though, despite their salty tastes being different. Swallowing, he licked his lips and let the demon assault him with quick pecks before he was suddenly repositioned. Now on his side, with the demon tugging him into his arms, Inuyasha closed his eyes and smirked, "You're a pervert..."
"Yet you love me, which makes you equally a pervert." The demon chuckled, brushing his fingers through the hanyou's hair before leaning over and kissing his twitching ears, "I forgot what beautiful noises you make when I touch you..."
"You're embarrassing me..."
"Hnn..but you love it..."
"I'm just...glad that my body...was ready for your touch." The hanyou whispered as he tucked his head under the demon's chin.
"So am I...I hope it will let me touch and love you more...I want to show you that you don't have to live this tormented life you have given yourself.."
"Says the man who was too afraid to leave the house..."
"There are many things you don't know...but if it makes you feel better...I'm just as tormented as you are..." The demon huffed against his ear, causing the appendage to whap at his face.
"Then we're both fucked up..."
"...I love you anyway though."
"As do I, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, clearly ready to fall asleep again, "I'll keep your nightmares away...I promise you this."
Inuyasha blushed a little at the statement; but by morning, when he awoke still tucked against the demon's body, his children curled up at the foot of his bed, he was happy to see that the promise was kept. Maybe things would slowly look up now. Maybe his life in torment would be over.