Title: You Guys Are Idiots

Author: PARADISE.x but you can just call me Parrie-chan~!

Rated: T for profanity and brief sexual content

Genres: Romance and humor

Characters: Forever Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartphilia!

Summary: Natsu will do anything to make sure Lucy doesn't go on vacation without him. Even tying her up to a chair and tickling her until she lets him come. "Finally, we are all alone and I can do whatever I want with you. I have something specific in mind~!"

Hey-o everyone and welcome to my newest one-shot! This will be a brief one, probably only about 3,000 words or so. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail

I WILL UPDAT EMORE OFTEN STARTING THE DAY THIS IS POSTED! I can take my lap top over to my mom's house now, so I'll have way more time to work on my stories! Expect updates to be quicker and more frequent!


"Got any fours?" Gray asks in a bored voice to Cana, who was chugging away at her handy barrel of alcohol. She gazes at her cards with surprisingly sharp eyes and curses before slamming down the suggested card on the table top. He grins hugely and takes the card, placing his own with it beside him. "That's another one for me!"

Natsu, sitting beside him, scowls, "You're cheating, I know you are!" He reaches for his cards, "Lemme see!" He demands in his usual boisterous voice. Gray holds his cards away, pointing them in a different direction so he couldn't see. He has a hand on Natsu's forehead and is pushing him back.

"No way, flame brain!" He exclaims, "Now you're the one that's cheating!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Shut up, pencil dick!"

"Who you callin' pencil dick, you fire freak? At least I can get a girl!"

"I can too!"

And their bickering continues, leaving Cana to watch with an amused expression. She chuckles at their petty insults and knocks back another shot of ale, or whatever substance was in that barrel, before looking over to her left. She smiles hugely, "Hey, Lucy, you want a drink?"

Lucy looks at her with furious brown eyes and yells something, but it is muffled by the gag tapped over her mouth. She struggles in her seat against her restraints, yelling some more. "Mmmfgh, mmmmmfffff!"

Natsu stops fighting with Gray and looks over at his best friend. He smiles hugely, as if he hadn't kidnapped the poor girl just an hour ago from the train station, and leans towards her, "Sorry for the gag, Luce, but you were screamin' a lot! Hey, if you promise to stop I'll take it off!" She eyes him with narrowed eyes before slowly nodding her agreement. His grin broadens, if possible, and he reaches over with nimble fingers to slowly peel off the tape. Her eyes tear up in pain and he wipes them away sweetly, "Would you rather me do it fast?" She nods and shuts her eyes tight, bracing for the pain. "Okay, one…two…three!" He rips off the tape and with it comes the gag. She lets out a cry.

"YE'WOUCH!" She exclaims loudly, "Owieeee…." She whimpers and rubs her lips together, "Natsu, did you have to use tape? You could have just tied a cloth around my head!"

Natsu shrugs, "Seemed too easy to escape! And you're not leaving, Luce." He scoots closer to her, "Wanna play cards? I think we're playing Go Fish…but Gray keeps cheating!" He shoots a dirty look at him and sticks out his tongue childishly. Lucy rolls her eyes.

"You two better stop acting like children. Where is everybody, anyway?" She glances around the empty guild, taking in the lone seats and bar. Even Mirajane was missing from her usual post behind the bar counter.

Cana burps, loudly, and sets her barrel down beside her. She smirks at her and says, "The Master made them all participate in this race thing. The only reason why we got out of it is because we said we were going on vacation with you."

Lucy pouts, "But I wanna go alone!" She exclaims dramatically and struggles against the ropes binding her once again.

Natsu frowns at her and scoots closer, their knees now touching but neither one noticing. Gray and Cana see the gesture though, and they send each other knowing glances and smiles. "Why? We're a team, Luce, so why not bring me?" His onyx eyes are sad, childishly sad. If he were a dog, his tail would be limp.

Lucy's pout turns into a scowl and she mutters, "Because I see you every friggin' day, Natsu! I love you, but c'mon. Everybody needs a break from you from time to time!"

He reminds her of a puppy that's been scolded by its master with his next look. He leans forward, "Lucyyyyyyyy~!" He whines loudly, flashing her begging eyes, "Please? We're best friends, and partners, so we should go everywhere together! That's what partners do!"

"And couples…" Gray mutters making Cana laugh and Lucy cast a death glare at him. He takes a swig from a bottle, most likely something containing alcohol, with a smirk sent at Lucy. She scowls darkly at him to which he laughs at.

Natsu is oblivious to all of this and keeps his attention on the blonde, "Right? So, just take me and Happy with you-"

Gray glares at him and cuts him off by yelling, "Oi! Me too, I'm the one that told you she was going!"

Lucy narrows her eyes at Gray, causing the ice alchemist to freeze up, just realizing what he did. "So…" She begins in a deadly voice made of ice, "it was you who told him. It was you that started all this." She was suddenly eerily calm, a purple aura of death emitting from her and making him shudder.

"Uh…" He says nervously before he suddenly launches to his feet, knocking the chair backwards, "I forgot, Juvia needed me for something, so, uh, bye!" With that he hightails it the hell out of there, bursting through the guild doors and running down the street yelling something about the azure-haired Rain Woman.

Lucy only rolls her eyes in his general direction before glaring back at the remaining mages, one already getting more than just a bit tipsy. Natsu smirks hugely at her, seeming to love her attention. She frowns deeply before sighing, "You're not going to let me go, are you?"

He shakes his head, still wearing that dumb smile, "Nope! Not until you let me and Happy come, or better yet…" He leans in, lips against her ear, "Just me." His breath, hot and humid, breezes across her flesh, making goose bumps appear across her creamy skin. She can't help but blush furiously at the sudden contact, and her eyes look down to see his hand was on her thigh, propping him up. Was he trying to seduce her?! At the thought, her face goes even a darker shade of brilliant crimson, and she makes eye contact with Cana. The drunkard winks suggestively before making kissing faces, smacking her lips and flicking her tongue this way and that. Any other time Lucy would have laughed at her antics, but now it just makes her bashful. The moment is broken as he slides back, rough hand grazing across her soft skin. His fingers rest on her knees and it takes all of Lucy's willpower not to squeal out loud. "What'd'ya say, Luce? C'mon!"

Lucy looks away quickly, an embarrassed frown on her face, "B-but I want to go alone! Stop being weird…" She stares in the wood grain of the floor beneath her, plotting some way to get out of this sticky situation.

She hears Natsu make a noise of annoyance and suddenly he says, "Hey, Cana, if you leave I'll pay for the next five rounds of alcohol."

Lucy whips her head around with huge eyes, her mouth a surprised 'o'. "What?! C-Cana please, you cannot really take this deal-" She cries in desperation, not wanting to be alone with the fire DragonSlayer.

Cana immediately perks up and smiles hugely, "Reeeeeaaallly? Awesome! Well, sorry, blondie, gotta leave you all alone with Natsu. Tell me everything later, not a single detail left out~!" With that, the brown-haired Tarot Card mage stands up with her big barrel and struts out in her familiar flamboyant manner. Lucy calls after her in a whiny voice but is to no use. Cana was already out the door, and she was stuck, tied to a chair and all alone with the man she was sure was crazy. Said boy looks at her with amused eyes, finding her struggling funny.

"Finally, now I can do whatever I want with you, and I have something specific in mind~!" Natsu says cheerfully, no longer bothering with trying to hide the devious smile that spreads across his features. Lucy begins to panic, staring at him with huge eyes and struggling against her restraints.

"Natsu, let me go!" She huffs angrily as she tugs on the rope biding her, face set in a determined look. She freezes as she feels his hand inch up her thigh, and she quickly looks back at him, "N-Natsu?!" She blanches, and it seems as if her face has turned permanently red. He flashes a grin and moves in on her, his heat making her skin warm up. His slender fingers dance across her skin as he comes closer, face now inches from her's. She refuses to meet the amused look in his eyes, and instead focuses on his forehead.

"Let me come with you." He whispers to her, low voice making shivers rush through her sensitive body. She could feel every little thing he was doing, the way his breath blows softly across her hot face, how hot his finger pads felt against her legs, and his lips now mere centimeters from her's. What was he doing? Where was the Natsu she knew and loved? "I'll make it worth your while…" What was up with this seductive act? Why was he doing this?

Has he been talking to Loke again? Lucy thinks to herself irritably. That playboy could easily mold Natsu's innocent mind so that he acts like this! "N-Natsu…y-you're acting s-strange. Stop it before I Lucy Kick the shit out of you!"

"Is that so?" He asks and she is forced to make eye contact with him when she hears his chuckle. She is caught off guard by the intensity of his dark onyx eyes, and she shrinks into her seat trying to ignore the throbbing sensation in her regions. He plays with the hem line of her skirt, tugging on it and pulling it. "Now how can you do that while your legs are bound too?"

Wow. Good point. The blonde glances down and grumbles at the sight of the ropes around her ankles. She looks back up at him and begins to whine again, hoping to annoy him so much he lets her go, "Natsu~! Just let me go!"

He raises an eyebrow at her, "Take me with you."






They were both practically growling at each other now, noses just about touching in their heated debate. They narrow their eyes and continue to bicker, their voices getting louder and louder. Finally they were full on screaming at each other, before Natsu suddenly wraps his hand around her mouth. Her brown eyes widen in surprise before darkening with fury and she screeches into his hand, an action that only makes him grin, "Let me come, Luce. This is your last warning."

God, she just wanted to go to her nice resort suite and visit the hot springs, but no! She's stuck here with a stupid, pink-haired, dense pyromaniac and the only way she can get the hell out of here is by letting him tag along with her? She bought a suite that had only one bed, one bath and one room. She sure as hell wasn't going to sleep in the same bed as this loud mouth! He'd steal the covers; maybe even hit her in his sleep! He probably dreams of fighting strange monsters or something, that or food. She so was not going to take the man she is forced to see every day with her. Like she said before, she needs a break from him and his stupidity. She narrows her pretty brown eyes at him and shakes her head defiantly, prepared for whatever he threw at her.

Except having his fingers jam into her sides.

"Okay, you asked for it, Luce." He said as he removes his hand from her mouth. In the next second, before she even has time to react, his hands are at her sides, fingers digging into her skin and running up and down. A bubbly laugh is forced from her throat and she tosses her head back, hysterically laughing as he continues his torture. He smirks darkly at her and she shoots him a glare that looks so odd with the forced smile on her red face.

"N-Natsu!" Lucy wails, "S-st-st-stoooppp!" She cracks up, giggling and seizing and fighting against her restraints.

He chuckles at her response and his onyx eyes glint with amusement, "Just say the words I want to hear and I will!"


Shaking his head and 'tsk'ing, he continues now spreading to her stomach. Damn him! He knows that she's horribly ticklish! Tears were now escaping her eyes and her toes curl at the feelings throughout her body. This goes on for another minutes before finally she just can't take it anymore. She giggles out a snappy, "F-fine!" Immediately his fingers stop moving, now simply resting on her abused sides. He watches her with a big smile, knowing he won. "Y-y-you can come! Just please stop!"

Natsu laughs in triumph and thrusts his fists in the air, "Yes!" He reaches down and begins to untie her, leaving her to breathe heavily and stare at the ceiling. Great. This is just great! There goes her peaceful relaxation time! Now she has to deal with him and clean up his messes! Once she is free she shakily stands on her feet, Natsu, who is still grinning ear to ear, assisting her. She shoots him a cold glare before walking off towards the entrance to the guild. He follows after her like a lost puppy, sticking to her side just in case she decided to make a break for it, even though he would be able to catch up with her easily even if she were a football field away. Suddenly he throws his arm around her shoulders with a delighted chuckle, "Thanks, Luce, I'd knew you'd see things my way soon enough!"

"Screw you, pinky." She scowls at him, but she feels her resentment ease up a bit. She could never stay mad at him for too long. It was just impossible for someone as cute as him-




When the hell did that happen? Where the hell did that come from? She glances up at him as they walk, taking in his carefree expression and features. Well, he wasn't bad looking…she's seen better though. He did have such nice tan skin…she quickly looks away before her thoughts could spread to stranger areas she keeps hidden. She did have one question burning on her mind though as the two reach her house the retrieve her bags. Lucy unlocks her door and steps inside, making eye contact with him. He grins at her and she says, "Hey, I have a question." The two walk further inside and she disappears into her room for a moment to come out with a large suitcase and another smaller one.

"Yeah?" He says curiously. He watches her with those same intense onyx eyes and she finds herself standing still, riveted by his very look. She gulps, trying to get moisture back into her suddenly dry mouth. Why was this happening?

"Why do you want to come so badly?" Lucy asks, ignoring how close he was getting. He takes a few steps towards her, now only less than a meter away. He watches her for a long moment, setting her nerves on edge, before that big grin she knows so well comes to his handsome face.

"Because of this." He grabs her shoulder, making her eyes widen in surprise and-

Then he kisses her, full on the mouth. She goes as still as a statue, eyes huge and boring into his lids. His lips were soft, kind of chapped, but still warm as they press almost urgently against her's. His fingers tighten into the soft flesh of her shoulder before he pulls away quickly; face tinted pink and eyes opening again to read her expression. She only stares at him, too shocked to do anything but gape wordlessly at him. Her face is a bright explosion of red, matching the very same hue of Erza's flaming hair. He chuckles before racing off and out the door of her apartment, calling back to her, "Come on, Luce, we'll be late for the train!"

W-wha…? "Uhhh…" Is all that she can say as she robotically grabs her bags and follows after him.

I am going to be all alone with him for a week.


I know! This shit sucked raw donkey eggs! I'm sorry ;_; but I just wanted to post SOMETHING and I really rushed through this. Well, review and tell me how much you hated it, or complain to me some more about when Let Me In is going to be updated XD

Guys, I have 8, 000 words down and the first lime written, and I am not even CLOSE to finishing. I am not even half-way through! This is going to be a VERY big update when I do decide to post it. Don't worry, I have more time to work on it now! Should be done…about a week…maybe two ;_; I'm sorry, I'm slow and I have lots of online classes to deal with! I want to get ahead :D

Well, hop you somewhat enjoyed this :P I will post multiple one-shots soon!

With love,