Last Chapter. I'm thinking about a sequel but I'm not sure yet. I hope you liked it! Read and Review Please!
Thanks for all of your reviews so far. They have been great!
Buffy ran toward Dawn's room and closed the door behind her. She fell to the floor, her hands over her face as she sobbed uncontrollably. She couldn't wrap her head around what had just happened, had she and Angel just ended their friendship? Had she chosen Spike over the man she had once thought she'd spend the rest of her life with?
Spike sat and watched her from the bed, staying quiet, afraid to disturb her. He watched as she fell into a million pieces, and struggled with the need to help her and the anger he felt at the words he'd overheard her speak. I'm using him. He finally made the decision to stand up and help her. They'd hash the other out when she was calm. Crouching down in front of her, he took her hand in his. He would save her from drowning in her emotions again.
"Buffy, what happened? Talk to me."
She looked up at him and smiled through her tears as he pushed a stray hair behind her ear.
"What is it Slayer? What happened?"
"You never call me Buffy. I like the way it sounds when you say it."
He placed his hand on her cheek and she leaned her face into it. She held his hand with both of hers and lifted it up to her lips, placing a gentle kiss on it. "You've been so good to me, Spike. I've been a real bitch."
"No. Don't talk like that, love."
"It's true. All I do is push you away. How many times have you laid down your heart for me and what have I always done, what do I always do? I stomp all over it."
He ran his hand through her hair, shaking his head and telling her it didn't matter. She looked at him, really looked into his blue eyes and she saw no sign of a monster. She saw love, kindness and caring. Buffy leaned into him and kissed him. She kissed him with such fervor that his body gave him no choice but to respond. He felt her tongue inside his mouth and let out a moan. He felt her hand run through his hair and when he put his hands on her face he felt the wetness of her tears. What was the slayer doing? He felt himself being pulled down to the floor to lie over her, her hands trying desperately to undo his belt. He knew there was something wrong. He knew he needed to talk to her, get her to open up to him again, but much as he wanted to, needed to, he could not tear his mouth away from hers. Her mouth was hot and soft; he bit at her lower lip and couldn't believe it when she moaned in response. He could get lost in her forever. But he wouldn't. Not with her words to Angel still hanging over his head. I'm using him.
"Buffy, stop." It took all of his will power to pull away.
He finally realized what it was that could have happened to her in thefew minutes she'd stepped out of the room just as she succeeded in unbuckling his belt. There's something wrong with you, Buffy. Angel had hit her where it hurt. He pulled his mouth away from hers and stood up off the floor, leaving her to look up at him questioningly.
Buffy's eyes opened wide when she understood what he was thinking. She immediately jumped to her feet as he stormed out the door in a fury. Buffy followed close behind. Spike moved through the hallway, looking for his grandsire in every room. Giving up his search he stood in the hallway and called out,
"Angel, you broody bastard, get out here now!"
Buffy watched as Spike's visage suddenly changed from human to Vampire, and jumped when he let out a loud growl. He was so angry he could no longer hold back. Angel had hurt her and she should not have to deal with any more pain. She walked up to him and slowly lifted her hand up to touch his cheek. He growled and pushed her hand away. It didn't bother her. She understood why he'd done it. Angel had done the same thing. Their monster did not deserve to be loved. She placed her hand back on his cheek, this time making sure to look directly into his eyes.
"He's gone, Spike. He left."
Spike let out one last growl and she felt it reverberate through her body. It made her thighs shake and her body tingle. She watched the vampire that stood in front of her as his face changed back into its human counterpart, and stood amazed at the power he had over her body. He placed his hand over hers, leaning his head to the side.
"Why? What did he do to you, Slayer?"
She smiled at him even as the tears streamed down her face. He would always call her Slayer. She looked down for a moment, then back up into his blue eyes, it was too easy to get lost in them.
"It doesn't matter. I chose you."
He looked at her and cocked his head to the side, he was surprised at her words and wanted, needed her to say more.
"I-I want you," she told him.
"Heard you tell him you were using me. I'm not a thing, Buffy. You can't just use me and throw me away."
"I wanted to hurt him. He hurt me so badly, I needed him to hurt. That's why I said it, Spike. I didn't mean it. You have to believe I didn't."
He looked into her eyes and he knew. It was clear as day, she hadn't meant it at all. She'd just been fighting back. One thing remained on his mind; one question he needed answered before he took this delicate angel and wrapped her in his embrace. He needed to know one thing…
"I have no soul," he whispered.
She shook her head at him. "You have a heart. I've seen it; it's been there all along. You love me; you've sacrificed yourself and the things you love for me. You've shown me that you are a man, not a monster. How can I ever doubt your heart? I don't care about a soul; all that matters is your heart."
That was all he needed to hear. She wasn't able to tell him but he knew she loved him. If she didn't love him now, it was only a matter of time before she did. He slipped his arms around her small waist and leaned into her mouth. He watched as her eyes closed and her lips parted slightly as she waited for their mouths to meet. He kissed her gently, his lips lightly brushing over hers, she shuddered under him and this made him want her more. He came back down on her mouth with full force and found himself pushing her further into him. Had she lacked slayer strength, been merely human, he may have broken her back. The slayer gave as much as she got, she moaned into his mouth and pulled hard on his hair. It hurt, would have turned him off had he been human but her force drove him on and he grabbed at her bottom as he felt her climb onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Spike carried her into his room, not once removing his mouth from hers.
They fell onto the bed, he on top of her and it was then that he pulled away and took her in. Her eyes looked into his, wild with desire. Her breathing was heavy and her hair was a vision, unkempt and unruly around her face. He smiled as he tucked a lock behind her ear. She cocked her head to the side, questioning his kind gesture in a moment of roughness and desire.
"Do you want this, Slayer?" When she nodded he said, "Do you want this for what it is or is there another reason? Are you doing this because of him or for me?" He needed to know. He couldn't make love to her, fuck her, whatever it was they were about to do unless it was for the right reasons. He would not let Angel win; he would not have her toy with his emotions. Not anymore.
"Damn it Spike!" She tore her eyes away from his and turned her head to the side.
It was an awkward situation, there she lay under the incredibly sexy vampire, legs wrapped around him, feeling all of his manly weight on her, and he ruined it by letting reality back into the moment.
He turned her face back toward him with his hand. She didn't like what she saw, panic in his blue orbs.
"Are you saying?" He pronounced each syllable slowly and with control, as if any second now he might break down.
"No. God, Spike, no."
He let out a deep breath. "Buffy, you'll be the death of me."
Buffy. He said her name. He was serious, this was no joking matter. "You're already dead, Spike," she told him with a smile.
She covered his mouth with her hand. This wasn't the time for jokes, she got it.
"Ok, look," she let her hand drop from his mouth. "It's not him, but this needs to be special. I need time. Not that I don't want this, don't think I don't want this. My entire body is shaking, I want this so badly."
She had diarrhea of the mouth. That was her, give her a demon and she'd kick it's ass into next week, give her feelings and she was a complete mess. "I mean, I can't say that I wouldn't get a little pleasure out of pissing him off. But then, maybe that's why we should wait. I mean, too, the whole emotional up and down I've had has me completely exhausted. I probably wouldn't be any good, and I could be good, at least I think I could be good. Really good."
She looked up at him abruptly, suddenly aware that he'd been looking at her the entire time she had rambled on. His face was serious and she wondered if she had angered him. He looked at her and felt convinced that this was the most he'd ever heard her talk. The slayer was never one for talking, she had always been more about action and there had been more silence and twice as much action since her return from the grave. He couldn't help but smile at how adorable she had been rambling on in her nervous state. Damn it, Slayer! I can't even be mad at you.
Taking his smile as a sign of peace between them, she ventured a request. "Spike?"
Oooh, she was back to being 'love', back in his good graces. "Can I sleep here a bit? Will you hold me? I'm exhausted."
He slid from above her and slipped in next to her on the bed. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and lay on her side, her arm over his bare chest. He kissed the top of her head and played with her hair. He relaxed beside her, her breathing had become steady and within minutes she was making smacking noises with her mouth.
"Mm, Spike," she mumbled.
He closed his eyes when he heard her words. Slayer, it's there. I know it is, your love for me. At that moment he made a decision. He would fight for her. She loved him, he knew. He'd fight for her until she was able to tell him those three words he ached to hear.
She moved her hand away from his chest and placed it on his cheek. He lowered his head and kissed her forehead. She was his Slayer now. She finally belonged to him and he was determined to make her happy again.