Summary: When Phineas and Ferb's talents are discovered, they are sent to a boarding school for the gifted. However, this school isn't what it seems. Perry and Doofenshmirtz must embark on an adventure that will change everything in order to rescue the boys and all the other students from the school's headmaster: Doofenshmirtz's father.
Wow. I didn't think this episode would require more than three parts. It was fun to write. I'm just saying that it was longer than I'd thought it would be.
The Best Adventure Ever (Part Five)
-A Few Days Later-
Doof hid in the bushes, wearing a tree hat from 'Big Time Rush.' He peered at Roger through a pair of binoculars. Roger was wearing casual clothing, watering his lawn, and humming Gitchee Gitchee Goo. Doof held up a walky-talky and whispered, "The mongoose is on the pretzel cart. I repeat; The mongoose is on the pretzel cart."
Perry, sitting in a tree nearby, held up his own walky-talky and said, "Uh... What? Nevermind. Let me ask you this: How do you know for sure that the mayor's a clone?"
"How do you know he's not? Huh? Think about that, Doubt-y the Doubt-apus."
"Fine. But, if your wrong, I'm not bailing you out of jail, this time."
Doof rolled his eyes. Perry the Platypus could be such a buzz-kill. "Copy that." He put away his walky-talky.
Shouting a battle cry, he attempted to tackle his brother, who sprayed him with the hose, nearly knocking him over.
"Did the battle cry give me away?" Doof asked.
"I'm afraid so," Roger replied. He walked to the hose nozzle and turned it off, saying, "Heinz, what exactly are you doing?"
Doof stormed up to him. "Oh, wouldn't you like to know, evil clone!?"
Roger's eyes widened in shock. "Evil clone? What on earth are you- Oh. You saw that news story about our father's school, didn't you?"
"Saw it? I was in it!"
"Oh, right. Anyway, it's true that Father did ship me off to that school, but I'm not a clone."
Perry, a bowl of popcorn sitting on his lap, glanced blankly at the audience from his position in the tree. "I knew this plan would fall apart." He popped a piece of popcorn in his mouth and continued watching the two brothers.
Roger continued. "You see, Heinz, father didn't find it necessary to make a clone of me. I believe he mentioned something about me already being 'perfect.'" He shrugged. "Whatever that means."
Doof considered this, but something still didn't add up. "But, you slept in a capsule! I saw it, and it freaked me out!"
Roger thought about this, then snapped his fingers in realization. "Ah, yes, now I remember. Father's friend, Betty, had brought over one of those - what were they called? - capsules, not knowing that there were no clones in the house. Now, if you'd recall, Heinz, I was a curious young man. I wanted to know what it was like to sleep in one, so I tried it. And, I must say, it was rather uncomfortable."
After a moment, Doof said, "So...you're not a clone?"
"That is correct."
"And, you just happen to be better than me at everything?"
"Well, I don't about that."
"Can we wrap this up?" Perry called. "I'm out of popcorn."
Roger pointed at Perry. "Isn't that your platypus-friend from the family reunion?"
"Yes," Doof responded. "Yes, he is. Although, I have no idea where he got popcorn."
"Perry the Platypus, wait up," Doof called to the platypus, who was walking home. "I need a favor."
Perry's eyes widened in fear. "Doctor, I am not trying your milkshake, again. I'm still kind of 'messed up' from last time."
"Actually," Doof assured, "this favor will not give you food poisoning. Probably."
Perry regarded him suspiciously. "Then, what do you want?"
"Well, this is something I've been thinking about a lot over the past few weeks. And, this whole incident with my father and the clones and the giant floating baby head-"
"I'm not entirely sure I want to know," Perry said, "but what does the giant floating baby head have to do with anything?"
"It helped me with the clones. You were probably still unconscious. Anyway, I realized that...that it felt good to be, you know, good. There was just this great feeling I got that evil never gave me. I helped people, and I liked it. I actually liked it, Perry the Platypus. I kind of... I-I don't-"
Perry, proud and somewhat awestruck, smiled. "You don't want to be evil anymore, do you?"
Doof smiled back. "You're right, Perry. And, don't worry. I'm not going to join the O.W.C.A. this time." (Agent Doof)
Perry rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Thank goodness. Wait, you said wanted a favor. What do you need my help with?"
Suddenly a little self-conscious, Doof rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I'm going to have to sign another one of those papers, stating that I'm giving up evil. I-I was kind of hoping you could come for moral support? Please?"
Perry nodded. "Absolutely."
"Thanks. Say, what'll happen to you, now that I'm not evil?"
Perry shrugged. "I'll probably get a new nemesis. Could be someone close to home, could be someone in another state. Guess we'll find out, huh?"
"And, what if it is far away?"
"I'll get relocated to a host-family closer."
"Oh. What!? That-that won't happen, will it?" Perry avoided his gaze, and that was all the answer Doof needed. "It will! It'll totally happen, won't it?"
Perry put his hands in front of him. "Doc, there's no guarantee that'll happen."
"But, it could happen?"
"I can't separate you and your family!"
"Doc, don't let this change how you feel about quitting evil. Look, I appreciate your concern, but it doesn't matter what'll happen to me. What matters is that I can tell you've had an actual epiphany, this time, and I'm really proud of you."
Doof wouldn't let it go just yet. "But... But, what if you get relocated?"
Sorrow flashed briefly in Perry's eyes. "I've been through worse, Doc. If I get relocated, I'll just deal with it."
Doof wasn't so sure...
*O.W.C.A. Headquarters, Major Monogram's Office*
Major Monogram sat at his desk. Doofenshmirtz and Perry sat in chairs across from him.
"Heinz," MM said firmly, "you are not - I repeat, not - joining this agency again."
Doof rolled his eyes. "That's not why I'm here, Francis. I'm here because I'm giving up evil. For good, this time."
"So, why is Agent P here?"
Perry shrugged. "Moral support."
Doof nodded in confirmation. "Right. But, before I sign the paper, stating that I am no longer evil, I want to make something clear."
"This should be good," Perry commented. "Why didn't I bring popcorn?"
Doof ignored him. "Now, I understand that Perry the Platypus will be getting a new nemesis, and this may require him to move?"
"Yeah," MM confirmed. "So?"
"So, you can't do that. I've seen how much Perry the Platypus cares about the Flynn-Fletcher's."
Perry realized what was happening. Major Monogram wasn't supposed to know that Doof knew about Perry's host-family! "What?"
"They also care a whole gosh-darn lot about him - well, mostly Phineas and Ferb, but that's not the point. The point is: relocating Perry the Platypus will crush him. If you do, I might do one final evil scheme, and it will involve you, Francis. I don't know what it'll be, but it'll be big, and you will be sorry you hurt him."
Doof sat back, looking very proud of himself. Perry just stared at him in disbelief, until his boss snapped him out of his trance.
"Uh, Agent P, how long has he known about your host-family?"
Perry wanted to lie. He wanted to say that he hadn't a clue. But, he knew from past experience that lying didn't get you anywhere. He sighed, twiddling his thumbs and not meeting his boss's stern gaze. "About three months, sir."
MM nodded, then handed Doof the paperwork on a clipboard. "Well, Heinz, congratulations on your epiphany."
Doof put up his hand in a 'stop' motion. "I'm not signing anything, until I know whether or not Perry the Platypus will be relocated."
"I assure you, there are other available bad guys in Danville."
Satisfied with this response, Doof took the clipboard and started signing it. Once finished he handed it back to MM.
"Well, Heinz," MM said, "I guess I'll see you around."
Doof nodded. "Yep." He stood up. "This reformed man is out." He flashed two fingers. "Peace." Starting for the door, he said, "Come on, Perry the Platypus."
"Actually," MM said, "I'd like to speak with Agent P, for a moment."
"Oh, sure. I'll wait outside the building."
Perry gave him a firm look. "Don't eavesdrop."
Doof rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll wait outside the building for real." With that, he left.
After a moment, MM spoke. "So, he knows your host-family."
Ashamed of himself, Perry nodded. "Yes, sir, and there's no excusing that. I take full responsibility for not having his memory erased, and I'm willing to accept my punishment."
That took a moment for MM to process. "Wow. Most agents wouldn't admit to that."
Perry only shrugged.
"Hm. Well, I appreciate your honesty, and, even though Doofenshmirtz is no longer evil and won't require memory erasing, I'm still going to have to punish you."
Perry nodded. "Of course, sir."
A few minutes later, Perry exited the office, relieved that his punishment wasn't worse.
McKenzie came up to him. "Hey, Perry."
Perry smiled at the sight of her. McKenzie's fur was brighter, and her eyes had regained their usual sparkle. She was still thin, but not nearly as much as before. She wore a light brown fedora with a black stripe. Perry tipped his hat. "G'day, Agent."
McKenzie shoved him playfully. "Quit with the formalities. Monogram chew you up for the host-family issue?"
"He's making me clean the building for two weeks."
"That's it? I thought with your owners knowing-"
"My nemesis," Perry said quickly. "I'm being punished for letting my owners and my nemesis be friends."
McKenzie whispered, "So doesn't know about Phineas and Ferb knowing you?" Perry shook his head. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."
Perry smiled coolly. "I know. You wouldn't do that to a friend." McKenzie placed a light kiss on his cheek. Perry's eyes widened, and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. "Oh."
McKenzie frowned. "Was that bad? Should I not have done that?"
Perry played coy. "Hm. I guess it's okay, but we should probably do it again, just to be sure."
McKenzie put her hands on hips and gave him a look that said, 'Seriously?' Perry leaned in and kissed her bill, which she returned.
They broke apart, when Peter the Panda walked by and whooped. They stared blankly at him, and he frowned. "I ruined the moment, didn't I?"
"I think the egg came before the chicken." Outside the building, Doof was ranting to a white rabbit with blue eyes, glasses, and a brown fedora, who was feeling pretty uncomfortable. "Then again something had to lay the egg, so would that mean the chicken came first? But then, where did the chicken come from?"
"Uh," the agent spoke with a southern accent, "who are you again?"
Perry appeared. "Doc, quit bothering Rachel."
Rachel smiled cutely and waved. "Hey there, my sweet baboo."
Perry rolled his eyes. "I am not your sweet baboo." (Peanuts reference)
Rachel's eyes narrowed in determination. "You will be mine!" (Big Time Rush reference) She stormed off.
Doof stared in confusion at Perry, who said, "We used to date."
Doof nodded in understanding. "So, what did Monobrow want to talk to you about?"
Perry waved the question off. He didn't want Doof to feel bad. "Oh, nothing important." There was a pause, then Perry said, "So...this is it. The end of an era."
"We've had some good times." Doof responded. "We've had some bad times. We've had some really weird times." He smiled. "But, through it all, there was the hate. And, a little love."
"It's gonna be weird not fighting you all the time. Admittedly, I'll miss it."
"Me too. B-but, you can-you can still come over, sometimes. You know, if you want." Perry gave him a knowing look. "I-I'm not saying you have to visit every day. But, maybe you can...pop in, every once in a while?"
Perry chuckled and shook his head. "Dang, you're weird. But, I suppose I could stop by, sometimes."
Doof pumped his fist. "Yes!" Then he realized what he'd just done. "I-I mean, cool."
Perry felt a little shy all of a sudden. "Hey, uh, maybe... Well, usually when I leave, you, um..."
Smirking and shaking his fist, Doof shouted, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"
At which, Perry smiled.
Phineas, Ferb, and Perry walked into the bedroom.
Once Ferb closed the door, Perry stood on two feet, put on his fedora, and asked, "So, what's this about, boys?"
Phineas scratched his ear - a nervous habit (The Beak). "Well, Ferb and I were wondering if... Well, we know you're a secret agent, and we think, maybe, we could tell Mom, Dad, and Candace. We know that we've already broken rules just by me and Ferb knowing, but-"
Perry silenced him with a knowing look. "You already told them, didn't you?"
"Uh... Ferb, you talk now."
Perry shook his head. "Oh, Ferb. Did you really think I'd buy that excuse?"
"We're sorry, Perry," Phineas said sincerely. "We were just so excited about what happened at the G.A.E.C.-"
Perry smirked. "It's okay, Phineas. Just promise that, next time, you'll think before you talk."
Phineas scratched his ear, again. "Heh heh. Can do..."
Then, Perry remembered something, and he didn't like it. "Wait a minute. I told you boys to go to that school!"
"So," Candace said, "do you think Perry really is a secret agent?"
She and her parents sat on the couch, not sure what to make of the information Phineas and Ferb had given them.
Perry and the boys walked in, and Perry said, "So, they did tell you."
Linda stared in shock, Lawrence's expression was unreadable, and Candace gaped, saying, "Oh. My. Gosh."
"Y-you're a secret agent," Linda stuttered.
"You're not gonna faint, like when you found out about me and Ferb building things," Phineas began carefully, "are you, Mom?"
Linda shook her head clear. "No, I'm fine. I think. Just in shock."
Lawrence smiled in amazement. "I say, this is remarkable. So, you fight Heinz every day, and you come home usually unscaved?"
Perry smiled. "Not anymore, I don't. But, I'll tell you about that, later."
"I believe we mentioned keeping this between us?" Phineas recalled.
Linda nodded. "Uh, right. We'll keep your secret Perry."
Lawrence agreed, "Indeed we will. It's like my father used to say: Willim snunck and dopple butter nuggets."
"You have no idea what that means, do you?" Perry asked knowingly.
"Not a clue."
Candace, feeling guilty, cleared her throat. "Uh, Perry, a-about always treating you like dirt-"
Perry put up his hand silencing her. "It's okay, Candace. Everything is perfectly okay."
Hold on! We're not done, yet! I plan to post a blooper episode for this series, and then I'll post a sequel.
Also, I've made a YouTube video revolving around Perry and Doofenshmirtz not being nemeses, anymore. It's called "Perryshmirtz - What Are You Waiting For," and my screen name on YouTube is the same as it is on Fanfiction. If you want, you can watch it, and tell me what you think. I think the song lyrics fit the scene pretty well.