"A Taste of Their Own Medicine"
Disclaimer: If you're asking, I don't own Married... With Children or it's characters. Married.. With Children is owned by Sony Entertainment, and it's creators, Michael G. Moye and Ron Leavitt.
Chapter 1: The Nightmare Begins
A bleak afternoon around the Bundy household. That's all it was. It was always this bleak when you're Al Bundy.
That guy did basically nothing but two things: Sell shoes and take crap from his wife. It was annoying and it was starting to get on Al Bundy's nerves. Al Bundy could never get a break of trying to get some peace once in a lifetime. Every time he comes home, his red-head of a wife starts sucking the rest of his money out of Al's entire wallet. It was a very hard economy to live in since Al Bundy only made $75 dollars a month.
Due to his wife's laziness, lack of job experience, and consumption full of BonBons, the only thing Al had to eat for lunch in his worktime was nothing but food he would find in the mall's local food court. If he was lucky, he would get his hands on a delicious tuna salad sandwich and half-eaten chips. Or perhaps a half-glass of coke without the cops in the mall even noticing. But noticing that security had increased during the past three days, Al Bundy had nothing to eat at all but a single grain of dust. He couldn't find it in his empty mind to even steal a huge chunk of food without getting caught.
His job as a shoe salesman was like living in hell with the bad lawyers and annoying elevator music. The only thing Al could've left out was the fact he had to keep serving fat women all day and all night! Women the size of monster trucks and cities would come in and complain about the shoes that Al made them wear, just because it didn't fit or because their feet was too big. And just when he gotten sick and tired of their bitching and moaning, Al would unleash a witty remark or an insult about their weight, their big feet or their big butt. The fat woman would respond to an offended gasp, straight to the point that they would leave.
Al Bundy was getting miserable. Of course, he was always like this every waking moment of his life. He would have gone to success in the National Football League after high school and college hadn't it been for he and Peggy meeting in the first place. But no matter how much Al wanted to get out, he had no choice to get sucked back in thanks to his greedy cheap-skate of a wife, his children Bud and Kelly, and not to leave out their late family dog, Buck. Al kept crying with fear in his sleep, hoping that his destiny wouldn't come true.
But just one night after Peg was sleeping, Al thought up of a plan. A plan to make Peg, Kelly, and Bud feel what he's feeling. Just so what it feels like to be in the shoes of Al Bundy himself. With a sickened smile, Al Bundy fell asleep, hoping that this plan would be so much worth it in his mind.
Without making one peep, Al quietly snuck out of bed and went downstairs. He picked up the phone and began dialing gently. Al waited for somebody to pick up for a good hour until a woman's voice was heard. Al quietly told her this perfect gameplan of his into effect.
The woman happened to be none other than Al's boss, Gary. She was the kind of boss that didn't pull any punches with her employees. Gary had a dark side as well. She ran an illegal sweatshop in which Al and Griff took the blame thanks to Marcy, Gary fell in love with Al's son Bud to the point that Bud was sick of being labeled a boy-toy, and Gary fired both Al and Griff so they could be replaced by younger and snobbier versions of themselves on the season of Christmas, but only to have their jobs back when they realized that the two boys named 'Hal' and 'Biff' couldn't take the pressure of being in Al and Griff's shoes anymore.
After Al told her of his plan, he hung up and snuck back upstairs to be with his wife for the rest of the night.
Around the next morning, both Bud and Kelly were wide awake and sitting at the dinner table while Peg was dusting something inside the toaster. She put the remains on a plate and started giving each dish to her children.
"There you go, kids. A nice delicious dish of Toaster Leave-Ins!" Peg exclaimed with a jolt of happiness.
"Mmmmmm, I'm starved!" Kelly said with her taste buds just watering her mouth like a dog.
"Wow. Mine's Cinnamon flavored!" Bud said with an excited tone.
With such controlled frenzy, both Kelly and Bud engulfed their plates full of Toaster Leave-Ins in record time. The look on Peggy's face said appreciation, and Bud and Kelly did just that to their mother.
"Yum, that was good, Mom!" Kelly replied to her mom with a smile.
"Well, it's all I can do for the family despite the fact that your father's brain has the size of a slice of cheese." Peg smiled as well. She was looking down on both of her children like they were the precious things on earth. Of course, they weren't as precious, knowing that they were living in hell formed as a house.
With Bud and Kelly's stomachs full of toaster crumbs, Al Bundy came downstairs wearing his usual work clothes. Nothing but a blue business shirt and brown pants. But he was carrying a pile full of random clothes, which meant boots, slacks, and the occasional brown shoes.
As Peg was about to get the cup of orange Tang to pour in Bud and Kelly's cups, Al put the clothes pile right on the dinner table, much to Bud and Kelly's surprise and horror.
"Good morning, Tweedledee and Tweedledumb." Al responded to both Bud and Kelly, before he looked at his wife. "Peg, I got news I want to share."
"I got some. Why'd you put all of your laundry in our dinner table?" Peg said as she put her hands right on her hips, not looking very pleased of what Al had to say next. "The pile is so bad, it's starting to smell like your ears and feet combined."
"Not as bad as smelling your mother's skin tags from the inside out whenever we have to wash her." Al said with a little cringe. "But enough about those horrible images. Kelly, Bud, Peg... I got an announcement."
"Look, Al. If you're asking us to take watch because you were still scared about the fear of a suicide bomber striking the mall anytime soon, it was all in your dreams. Besides, nothing like that is gonna happen, believe me." Peg spoke to Al with reassurance.
"Well, believe me, Peg... if that was to happen, I rather be dead from your money-sucking claws." Al responded as he shot back his response at Peg like a slingshot. He finally told his gameplan to his wife and the kids.
"Now back to where I was constantly interrupted, I called my boss, Gary, last night. Unfortunately, the shopping season is getting rowdy, and me and Griff are gonna be loaded all 5 days. Knowing that me and Griff can't handle all of the work ourselves, I decided to get extra help just to make mine and Griff's jobs easier."
"Was that the reason you dumped all your dirty laundry on our table!?" Bud reacted angrily to his father as he gestured to the smelly socks on his plate. "I mean, this is where I eat!"
"This 'dirty laundry' you're referring to, son... is the kind you're gonna be wearing today, along with your sister and your mother." Al said to Bud as he finally spoke out his plan to the rest of the family. "Today, and throughout the rest of the week, all of you are gonna work with me at the shoe store."
Hearing this news from Al himself, both Peg, Bud and Kelly complained angrily with remarks like 'We don't wanna do it' and 'Screw that' before Al warned them again.
"Shut up, everyone! Don't make me get the airhorn again." Al said shouting to the rest of the family and pointing at them in silence. "Now, I'm getting sick and tired of everyone sucking my money dry. It's every one of your faults that I have to go through the day without any money to spend on my breaks during work. I hardly have time to eat or get something to drink with the money I have!"
"No offense dad, but there's no way in God's little green vegetable that I'm gonna be wearing your sweat on my body." Kelly said to Al with a sarcastic smile forming on her lips.
"Oh, you'll sweat, Pumpkin." Al smiled nicely to his dumb-blonde daughter. He then turned his attention back to Bud and Peg. "All of you will sweat. All of you are gonna feel what I feel for a change. All of you are gonna feel what it's like to be in the shoes of your father."
"Do I really have to, dad?" Bud groaned miserly as he was holding one of Al's work shirts. "I mean, there's no way I'm gonna be caught dead wearing something that smells like 3-year old Snickers!"
"Son, as your father, I advise you to smell like 3-year old Snickers." Al spoke down to his son as he patted Bud in the back. "Because every one of you asking me for money it's gonna come to an end. If you want money so bad, you'll have to earn it. And the only way to earn money your way is to come work with me at Gary's Shoes for the summer."
As much as Al was enjoying his talk, Peg stepped aside for a moment.
"Ohhh, there is no way you're getting us to come work with you for the entire summer." Peggy said in defense for her children. At the same time, she went to her favorite spot in the house, which was the family couch. "You're gonna have to scrape me out of this couch just to get me to go with you."
Hearing those words from his wife, Al Bundy thought up of an idea.
Minutes later, the Dodge inside the garage was already starting, thanks to their kids.
Peg on the other hand, was trying to hold on to the couch while Al tried to grab her off the couch aggressively. Her fingernails was squeezing through the couch in succession, hoping that Al would fail in his attempts to scrape his red-headed wife out of the entire couch zone.
"No, Al... you... can't... take me with you!" Peg exclaimed as she was struggling to hold on.
"Damn it, Peg! I'm not gonna be at work all day while you fill your rump full of BonBons! You're gonna come with me even if I have to strap you and this couch together on the top of my Dodge!" Al exclaimed as he was squeezing his wife's hips hard in order to get her whole entire body off Peg's favorite couch.
As she was still struggling, Peggy managed to reach for the remote and turn the TV on with her tongue. She was smiling to see what was displaying on the tube.
"Next on Oprah, Tom Cruise disguised as a horse for the very first time!"
"Oh, Al! Al, you gotta let me stay, it's Oprah!" Peg exclaimed in panic.
"Screw Oprah, Peg! Think about my life and my thyroids giving out trying to scrape you off! Ugggggggh!" Al grunted aggressively as he still tried desperately to get her wife off the lumpy couch.
Incredibly using his Herculean-like strength, Al managed to pull both Peggy and the couch altogether straight from the living room to inside the garage.
"No... must watch... Oprah! Noooooooooooooooo!" Peg cried out inhumanely as she was trying to reach for the TV. But knowing that she was very far away from the TV, she failed. In a moment, she and her two kids were about to be trapped in hell... Al's kind of hell.
Man, Peggy sure is Oprah-crazed. I'm glad I don't have to be around her. Anyway, the next chapter is coming up soon, so stay tuned! ;D