So incredibly sorry for the wait!
To readers of Too Soon, I promise, promise that update will be soon!
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here," Legolas spoke from the ledge where he had been dreaming.
"Quoting Shakespeare now are we?" Elladan smirked, "You have never liked him."
Legolas picked a paint chip from the windowsill, "I don't. He was insane. Besides, its rumored half of his writing was not even his."
"Do you buy into that? I did not know you watched conspiracy channels in your free-time."
"I don't. Its more of a personal issue. I had the misfortune of crossing paths with him too many times to count and there was nothing at all pleasant about him. I tried to avoid him, but I had dire business that I needed to take care of, and he just so happened to cross my path. I had better things to do that go off galavanting in Asia," Legolas jumped off the windowsill, "all those years ago."
Elladan shoved the blonde against the ancient bedpost jokingly, "Seducing women hardly counts as productive behavior."
"No, but uncovering government secrets does," Legolas slipped around the post and out of his reach, "Some of them were even concerning you and that one French queen, Marie… Marie…"
Elladan rolled across the mattress and threw a decorative pillow at the blonde's head, "Oh for heaven's sake, that was ages ago. Besides, she was far too bizarre for my taste. Unnatural really. You would have hated her."
They laid on the large mattress sprawled out in a pattern of long limbs and lithe muscles that fluttered in the late afternoon light.
"Close your eyes," Legolas instructed with the tone of an old teacher, "And tell me where you are right now. In your mind."
Elrohir closed his eyes, dark eyelashes brushing high cheekbones.
"Italy, the flower town. Your old house. When you were pretending to be a pottery artist and we came to visit just as World War Two was about to break out. We sat down on your bed and used a map and old pieces of jewelry as armies. You were so calm about the whole thing. To me and you, it was just another battle to be fought."
Legolas breathed out heavily.
"We had no idea," His hands reached for a tassel on the pillow and played with the threads like the strings on a harp, "Had we known…"
Elladan opened his eyes.
"We could not have done anything. You know this. Besides, you did far more than I ever did to stop what happened."
"I could have killed him," Legolas spoke with a hush, "I was in the crowd. Twice I was in the crowd. How can you say it was not my fault? I knew… I saw the beginnings of the genocide. I saw the leaders rise up."
"You are breaking the rule. We do not regret" Elladan rolled off of the bed. "Its not your fault. Even if it is, it is not. We cannot afford to regret what is not our job to control."
Legolas snapped open his blue eyes and the other elf couldn't help but feel the same pull at his mind that he had experienced every time he saw his friend in this light. For him, after so long living among mortals, seeing the eyes of another elf was a startling experience.
In these moments he could pretend to read every year in the shifting colors of his eyes. He could pretend like he hadn't missed a moment, like he could read his mind. As if he wasn't missing part of himself.
"You do not regret Elladan. You simply forget." Legolas removed himself from the comfort of the bed and walked toward the door. "I regret, because I remember. In this way I envy you, the way you can bury everything so deeply inside of yourself that you never have to battle the emotions the way I do. For me, everything is constantly bubbling just below the surface. You speak as if there were a god that can reason for us, tell us that what has happened is necessary."
Legolas twisted the doorknob but left the door closed, imagining that he could see a curtain closing on the others emotions.
"Your doing it again. Living in the shadows, pretending like the present doesn't matter, only looking for answers from the past." Elladan spoke with a bit that stung like a wasp.
"Oh, and tell me wise one, exactly in what way you find your methods of coping better than mine? Is is the fact that I still can remember my own mother's face that bothers you most, or the fact that I am the only one left who can still remember our brother's voice?"
Elladan launched from his place on the bed and pinned Legolas to the doorframe by the throat.
"You know very well it was the concussion that erased the memory of this brother from my mind. I have tried my hardest to remember him, but absolutely nothing comes to my mind."
Legolas did not struggle from under his grip.
"My way is the best way, the safest way to deal with our immortality. These memories are driving you insane, and soon, even I will not be able to protect you from them."
Elladan let go of Legolas and watched as he slid to the floor.
The blond was breathing hard, but none of the fire in his eyes had left. He grabbed again for the door handle, but was stopped by Elladan.
"Do not back out of this, you have needed this talk for a long time. You are wasting away your life. It is clear that it is my help that you need. Do not block me out."
"Has it ever occured to you, brother, that perhaps the only view yourself as infallible is because you have already lost your sanity? You have been so illusioned for the better part of the century that you cannot even attempt to regain the other half of you. You claim you have tried so hard to remember, yet you cannot even say his name, can you? In losing half of your soul, it seems you lost the better part of your mind, and it is me that has been left to pick up the pieces."
Elladan felt his fist rise and slam Legolas's eye with full power. Legolas's twisted door handle, opening it in the process. The son of Elrond fell through the doorframe and on top of the prince, but Legolas did not fight back. He waited for the punches, eyes closed, until he heard footsteps leaving the hallway.
He passed out at some point, because when he woke up it was nearly dark outside, and the cold wind from the moors had infiltrated the manor. With shaky hands the elf rose to his feet. If he were to claim he couldn't feel every bone protest under the bruises, he would be lying. At some point, the punches would have hardly left a mark, but in the slowest, most painful sort of way, Legolas knew his biology was failing him.
He walked slowly to the living room, making the utmost effort to be completely silent. An onlooker could have mistaken him for a ghost, an illusion he had almost convinced himself was his reality.
His false reality was shifted by the harsh knocking on door.
Ah, he has come back. Revenge, worry, or just visiting?
Legolas feared the last conclusion most of all. In most situations like this, these massive explosion of emotion, Elladan would come back without any memory of what had happened. It was usually the same day, as if he forgot that he had come over entirely. This incredible suppression of memories was not something Legolas had ever been able to help.
A physchatrist would be completely unable to comprehend not only his emotional problems, but the blood work that would accompany the useless medication they would prescribe.
Elladan's eyes widened with astonishment when the door opened.
"Why did you do to yourself? Your face is absolutely smashed in."
Legolas reached up to feel his face and stared at the blood on his fingertips. In retrospect, bypassing the mirror on the way out had been an awful idea.
"Yes, i suppose it is, isn't."
"You need ice. Who on earth gave that to you?"
"It was a barfight."
The brunette didn't appear to believe him.
"Oh really? Over a women? I didn't know you were still in the courting business."
Legolas gave a highly unpleasant smile.
While Elladan knew somewhere in his mind this wasn't the truth, it really was the only rational answer to the situation.
"Since you seem to have such an adept understanding of science, im sure you will also know that you need ice and an anti-inflammatory. You have broken skin, and i'd rather not mess up that pretty face of yours at this point in your life. Is your nose broken?"
The prince felt his nose and his vision swam.
"Ah." He paused for a while, "Then I will need to reset it. Go sit down."
"I don't need your help."
"Humor me," spoke the forgetful one, "If you took care of yourself, this would never have happened in the first place."
"Elladan, I humor you far more than you realize."
He rose an eyebrow at the prince's remark.
"Oh really. You will have to tell me said stories later than."
Legolas ran his hands across his face and winced deeply.
"Trust me, I really don't think I will."
And if I do, I will never succeed.
Elladan is as lost to me now as his brother.
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