You do this funny thing when she's not around; you Google.
Just like you are now.
Because the color keeps catching your eye and you need to know why it won't leave your mind.
Why she won't.
And you'd done it before when she had mentioned green. Not you eating it. No. Not extra pickles on your burger and a beer in your hand.
It was the way she wore it. Because Maura never does fashion without some sort of thought behind it. And you remember the sad smile that tugged at your lips as you read.
An emotionally positive color, green gives us the ability to love and nurture ourselves and others unconditionally. A natural peacemaker, it must avoid the tendency to become a martyr.
And you realized then you never avoid.
(but you do)
And you realized then Maura can say something without actually saying it.
Now you're staring into the sun.
And it's beautiful.
You wait for the need to turn away; when it becomes too much, and the pull becomes too great.
But you find yourself with no reason to. There is a fine grace rather than a burn that meets your eyes.
Yellow is the practical thinker and not the dreamer.
Only now she is. It has blossomed in her. You see it in her eyes when someone utters the word 'hope'
It is in a belief
And in a name
Yellow is a challenge.
It is steadfast and unwavering.
She is strong. You've felt her tremble, and it's always when you come back to her.
You felt it in they way she touched your wrists where the handcuffs had dug in.
Or the way she had held your hand after your own bullet had torn through you.
She was the first face you saw and you had smiled while she had cracked at the seams and cried.
Yellow is the scientist.
She approaches all the angles. She is decisive
Yellow is non-emotional, coming from the head rather than the heart. Yellow depends on itself.
You feel a twinge of sadness. But you know her and you know her heart is never too far behind.
"Yellow is the most highly visible of all colors which is why it is used for pedestrian crossings." a bright voice says over your shoulder.
"Have you ever noticed crossings which are marked in white? They are less easy to see than those marked yellow, particularly on wet and cloudy days."
And you smile as you lean back in your chair and look up at her.
An umbrella is hanging loosely in her hand and when you turn to face her, you notice she is wearing your boots.
Yellow and all.
And you smile, because she is easy to see even on the darkest days.