Slender Man Saves Christmas
Once upon a time, in a dark and spooky wood, there lived a creature neither man nor beast. An unholy spawn of shadow and fear that preyed on those who would find themselves lost in its woods. He was the Slender Man, and he was feeling rather lonely at the moment.
It was Christmas time and Slender Man was busy decorating his house with the entrails of deer when he felt a twinge of sadness in the void where his heart should be.
Slender Man loved Christmas but it always made him melancholy. No one ever came to visit him, or send him presents, why he never even received so much as a Christmas card. This was mostly because people were terrified of him down to the subatomic level, and any mortal creature would go incurably insane just by looking at him, but it hurt his feelings all the same.
So it was that Slender Man sat down by the fire in his favorite slippers and robe, to his annual Christmas tradition of his favorite Christmas movie and a glass of soy eggnog, when suddenly he heard a horrible crash on the roof.
Outside Slender man went to investigate and found imbedded in his roof a great red slay that looked to have been drawn by 8 large reindeer. It was on fire and smelt vaguely of burning fur.
TERRIBLE; AND HE WAS 3 YEARS FROM RETIREMENT TOO, said a mysterious voice.
Slender Man turned to see what looked like a man shaped hole in the world. Why it was Death, Slender Man's old friend.
"…" said Slender Man.
INDEED MY GOOD MAN, said Death, THAT WAS THE JOLLY SAINT NICHOLAS MAKING HIS YEARLY ROUNDS, BUT I'M AFRAID HE WON'T BE FINISHING THIS YEAR.
IT WOULD APPEAR SO, WITHOUT SANTA CLAUSE, ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE MULTIVERSE WILL GO WITHOUT GIFTS THIS CHRISTMAS. Death turned to leave, then turned back, AND I SUPPOSE FOR EVERY OTHER CHRISTMAS AS WELL, NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE HOLIDAYS MYSELF, OR ANYTHING MORTALS DO TO FORGET REALITY. Death turned to leave again, WELL, SEE YOU LATER, I HAVE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT IN A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL IN PORTLAND.
"…" said Slender Man
The man shaped hole that was Death then closed in a blood curdling clap leaving Slender Man standing alone to take in the quite horrible sight.
The end of Christmas? Thought he.
Slender Man felt a twinge of pain again in his chest hole for all those children who would wake up in the morning and find no presents under there tree, and not just the children of this Earth, all the peoples across the many universes would find no gifts from Santa this year.
Slender Mans chest hole and shoulders sank, if he had eyes he would have shed a tear even.
Jingle, Jingle, Jingle.
Slender Man perked up, He could have sworn he heard bells on the wind. He took a closer look at the 9 car pileup imbedded in his roof and found that it was still indeed there and on fire, and that the sound had not originated from its particular bells. Slender Man looked up in to the sky to see a second slay, this was making a much better effort in landing.
Out of the slay hopped 2 elves, they were small, pale, and looked extremely depressed, as most people from up north usually do.
"Oh bugger." Said the shorter and older of the two elves, both ran over to the scene of the wreckage, the taller and younger looking one pulled out a sort of screen looking device that had red and green stripes and smelled of mint. A wand that was attached to the screen via liquorish cable was pulled out and waved in the direction of the devastation.
"Nothing, sir," said the young elf grimly.
"Oh bugger, twice." The old elf kicked the snow then looked up to see Slender Man eyelessly watching the both of them. The elf's eye's widened. "Trrün, over there."
The elf named Trrün scurried over to the old elf, whom for the sake of time will be reviled to be named Vrdrag (the 'rdr' is pronounced with a role of the tongue). Both ran over to Slender Man.
"Did you see it, was Death here?" asked Vrdrag
"…" said Slender Man
"Oh Bugger thrice! Well that's it then Trrün Christmas is well and done for."
"Now calm down." said Trrün nervously, "we can think of something, I mean we have the backup slay and the backup bag of holding."
"But do you see any bleeding back up bloody Santa!"
"Well, no not really, but I though, desperate times and all, we could deliver the gifts ourselves?"
"Ourselves!?" asked Vrdrag in horrified disbelief. "Boy I will slap you in the mouth so hard, you will fart your words."
"Ok, ok, ay was only thinking out loud."
Vrdrag looked to the point of going supernova; Trrün looked like he wanted to bury himself in the snow.
Slender Man looked like he always did, contemplative.
He considered the facts for a moment. All the children, nay all the people in general waking up and finding the spirit of Christmas had been killed in the night by a freak accident. Indeed that was more than just a metaphor and the three people alone in this wood knew that.
Santa was the physical embodiment of hope and giving throughout the multiverse, without him both those feelings would die and all life would descend in to a mistrust and greed, well descend more at least, the point is it would be a complete descend.
Now Slender Man was indeed and empty thing, but even he had a heart, figuratively of course, and he could not let that happen, not to Christmas. He made a decision.
"…" said Slender Man resolutely.
"You wah." Said Vrdrag
"You what to fill in for Santa Claus?" was Trrün's response
"Well that's vary honorable my good, eh, man" said Vrdrag "but you can't just put on a red coat and run around calling yourself Father Christmas, you need magic, you need to be able to get in to houses without problem, you need to be able to basically be 8 places at once."
"Oh you can do all that already, hum, funny I never heard of you? You're not already related to any holidays are you? Because you're not allowed to double deal."
"Funny, he sort of strikes me as a Halloween sort of guy." Said Trrün
"Hmm." Vrdrag thought hard for a second, he looked over Slender Man, he pulled out his watch "there is still time. He's a bit skinny for the roll, though."
"He's right; beggars can't be chooser's, sir."
Vrdrag looked up at Slender Man, a crazed look formed in his eye, the kind of look that reflected a mad idea that just might work.
"Trrün, ready the deer, were on the clock."
"Ay sir." Trrün ran back to the backup slay and prepared for takeoff.
"Thank you kindly for this; you don't know how important it is. By the way, what you name."
"Hmm, interesting name, a bit comic book though, how about just for tonight you go with '…' instead."
Slender Man smiled, not really for he had no mouth, but he was definitely smiling internally. He liked the sound of that, Slender Claus.
AN: Yup, a bit out of season, but when you have an idea that is just burning a hole through your forehead, you gotta right it down. Review please, I'm trying to do this professionally and constructive criticism would be much appreciated