Let me address your concern right away: while rape is a central aspect of this story, it's going to focus on the emotional aftermath and recovery; I promise there will be no graphic descriptions. (I'll give a heads-up for the angstier parts, and other content, as we go along.) I'll be the first to say that I won't do the heavy topics here any realistic level of justice, but please know my intentions were good. Thank you to everyone who's encouraged my writing along the way, if not for that support I would never have the nerve to try something like this.
I'd recommend reading Yellow Is For Friendship first because it'll make a few things make more sense, but I guess you won't be utterly lost if you haven't. As always, feedback is appreciated! :)
Story Content: This story is rated M and will involve a little mild violence, rape angst (non graphic), and Rizzles sex (sometimes a little graphic).
Chapter Content :: Fluff and pretty non-graphic sexytime
Long, slender fingers drum on the tablecloth. The check had taken forever to come, and it's now taking an additional eternity for the waiter to return from Middle Earth or wherever he's gone with her credit card.
Jane's eyes catch a mouth-watering figure in a maroon dress making her way across the restaurant. For .003 seconds, she feels guilty for considering her hands-down the most beautiful woman she's ever seen, until her brain catches up to inform her that it's Maura, and she's allowed.
That guy at the bar must have had a similar thought; he gets up from his seat and moves to intercept. Jane sees the whole play happening and it makes her prickle just a little bit, but she keeps her seat calmly; her girlfriend is perfectly capable of speaking for herself. (Still, she mentally plots the quickest route through the tables in case she needs to get over there and break some of his parts. She just likes to be prepared.)
He steps abruptly in front of Maura and splashes his own glass of water on himself.
"Really," Jane says out loud to no one.
Maura is gasping apologetically.
Bra-vo, she thinks to herself, wanting to break into loud, very slow sarcastic applause. Look at your stupid cocky face and I-think-I-look-like-Robert-Redford hair.
He looks like just the kind of guy Maura always used to point out, and she'd say something gross about his anterior-whatsis that was geek-speak for wanting to take him home. Seeing her talk to him does trigger some basic, illogical twinge of paranoia, but there isn't a chink in their relationship where any real worry can seep through. She's never had a relationship this strong before. It's a wonderful thing. It makes watching this not only tolerable, but kind of entertaining.
They're exchanging a few words. Jane can't tell if she really bought the water thing, but from the way she's gesturing at his shirt, she's probably offering to have it cleaned.
It's just water, Maura.
Then she points right over at Jane. The guy looks too, and Jane returns a polite wave. He looks thrown off his groove, but recovers a second later and lets her keep walking.
When Maura returns and slides into her seat, she notices Jane largely failing to conceal a Grinch grin.
"Man, I'm never gonna get tired of that."
"What? Seeing me tell men that I'm with the most gorgeous woman in the room?"
"Other way round, but yeah." With a sideways glance, Jane catches the guy still staring from the bar seat he's slunk back to, and tips her glass at him smugly.
"Yeah, that's right, Notbert Notford," she mutters under her breath, as he averts his gaze. "Be jealous."
"..Who?" Maura squints. "Do you know him?"
Jane's eyes snap back to hers.
"Huh? No." She grabs the little black folder she hadn't noticed reappearing on their table, grabs her card and scribbles a tip on the bill. "Can we get out of here now?"
When Maura makes a somewhat big show of taking her arm as they leave, she nearly busts with pride.
Muscles flex smooth and strong beneath Maura's clinging hands as Jane moves above her.
They've been together a little over five months and they've only had this thing, as Jane calls it, for barely one.
"C'mon, Goldilocks, just pick one," had been a blushing Jane's only input as Maura compared options the online shopping page, and she'd handled it a bit like a dead fish when they first took it out of the package. She wasn't opposed to it, she'd just really never planned on owning such a thing and had no idea how to use it, beyond the obvious. Because she was definitely going to be the one using it - that had been Maura's intent in buying it. She'd taken time to explain (so thoroughly that Jane had to interrupt several times) that this doesn't mean she misses being with men; she just wants to combine a physical sensation she enjoys, with the person she loves. Jane has no problem with that.
No, the problem was the aesthetic aspect. She'd felt completely ridiculous wearing it the first time, but they didn't rush, didn't take it too seriously, and after some laughs it turned out okay. The bottom line was, Maura wanted to try it, and even if Jane had loathed the idea, she still would have tried it for her at least once.
The skill set required was quite different, and didn't exactly come naturally, and Jane had worried about being clumsy. But what she'd lacked in skill, she had more than compensated with love and attentiveness, and she'd been downright proud to get some of the most enthusiastic reactions out of Maura she'd ever heard. (And it wasn't too shabby on her end, either.)
So they've been using it a lot lately. It's not a replacement for anything else - it's just that the novelty hasn't worn off yet. Thanks to plenty of practice, Jane is rapidly mastering the craft; now her hips know a comfortable rhythm, new muscles are strengthening, confidence improving.
Lips seal urgently against lips, then break away just as urgently for oxygen. At this pace, a kiss is hard to maintain for long, but that doesn't stop them from trying.
Soft and gentle times with Maura are heavenly, but there's also something to be said for a higher-octane performance. Jane welcomes the tiny sheen of sweat on their skin, and the burn in her muscles from indulging Maura's plea for an encore. But her aggressive approach to everything else physical doesn't apply in bed; here it's all about quality, and she won't sacrifice care and control in order to crank it up to 11 no matter how encouraging her girlfriend's moans.
Jane knows when Maura's almost there by her rosy blush, by the way her eyes close, by the pitch of her voice and the way she says her name. She's proud to consider herself an expert in the field of Maura, but at the same time, she hopes she never knows everything, so she can spend her whole life learning.
Just as Maura begins to cry out, Jane presses lips to her throat, catching the vibration though a smiling, panting kiss. That's one of her favorite parts.
But it's after the chorus of beautiful notes dies down to sighs, after the fingers ease from digging into her shoulders, after the legs unlock and slip off her waist, when the very favorite of Jane's favorite parts begins.
She's spent the whole night lovingly guiding Maura up to this point; rather than just abandon her at the pinnacle, it's just as important to guide her back down while she's all pleasure-addled and totally unguarded. Now it's time to slow way down; time to nuzzle into the encircling arms that want her closer, but are too weak to pull her; time to press long, soft kisses all across her dampened brow. Right now, she doesn't want her to know anything except that she is adored. This is the moment when Jane's bones feel like liquid and nothing else exists.
Even after they've stilled, little aftershocks are still hitting Maura - the last at such far intervals that they both chuckle, forehead-to-forehead, when she flinches.
After, Jane drops like a well-satisfied pile of bricks on her side of Maura's bed - no - their bed. She's still getting used to this being her home. They recover for a little while, just limply holding hands, cooling off, and listening to the way their breaths sometimes match and sometimes alternate.
Pursing her lips, Jane blows a jet of cool breath across her lover's skin. She'd done that once to try to tickle her, but Maura just seemed to like it, and now she does it every time they're overheated like this. Maura hums in appreciation.
After a while, when their skin finally starts to feel chilled instead of flushed, they pull up the sheets and come back together into their usual loose embrace - Maura's head in Jane's shoulder and Jane's arm across Maura's waist. It's just unbearably comfy and perfect and right, and Jane still can't always believe it's real. Right on schedule strikes the usual urge to whisper thank you, but that might be a weird thing to say, so she says it with kisses instead of words.
Unfortunately for Jane, her girlfriend is well-familiar with a certain weakness that comes into play here. There's this window of time after making love where she's completely and utterly at Maura's service, wanting to save her from any work or worry, just to keep that intoxicated smile on her face for as long as possible. Most commonly this amounts to getting up and making something for her to eat, but it's also a time when she can be coerced into things she'd never normally agree to. Maura doesn't use it to her advantage... often.
"Jane," she asks, returning a couple of disarming kisses to the brunette's shoulder, "I want to do some shopping tomorrow, would you come with me?"
Jane snores theatrically until Maura pokes her in the ribs. Not being directly related to Maura's current physical comfort, it's still a tall order, but Jane's brain is too riddled with - what hormone did she say does this? - to put up much of a fight.
"Please? It's so much more fun with you than going alone."
"Fine," she yawns, one finger beginning to lazily trail around her girlfriend's back. "'Cause I am so tired of seeing you in the same old rags- ulf," she receives another jab in her ribs. "Spoiler though, yes you look great, and no it doesn't make your butt look big."
"Who said I wanted your commentary on my posterior?"
"Mh, pardon me. What did you want on your posterior?" Jane slides her hand down under the covers for a grab.
Kissing Maura while they're both laughing is another one of her favorite things.
A/N - And that's what they've been up to. Tune in next time for stuff and things!