Mako's Message: This story was written at the request of Dogbertcarrol as his prize for winning the Mindy Vs. Bed Rest contest. While writing it I came up with several other amusing ideas for this scenario, so I'll occasionally add another chapter to this story when I'm not busy trying to update my other stories.
This is also a slight crossover(or would this be a cameo...) with TheSpoonyExperiment.
The Commander and Jetstream relaxed as the last of the robots fell to the ground. The massive underground bunker suddenly felt both much larger in it's emptiness, and much smaller in that when fighting through the army of robots it felt much larger.
"Hmm..." The Commander said, picking up a relatively undamaged robot head and examining it for a moment before tossing it aside, "Nah."
As they headed towards the large armored doors at the other end of the room, several small robots scuttled out of a number of compartments in the walls. The two heroes immediately went into a battle stance, only to relax a moment later as they realized the new robots where only there to sweep up the remains of their cousins.
"Hey, look at that," Jetstream said, "Even villains are going green these days. Layla will be so pleased."
The two greatest heroes on the planet walked to the blast doors and paused for a moment looking them over. "What do you think?" Jestream asked.
"I think I'll have to pry these open. Punching it will just warp the metal, not knock it down."
"Well, do your thing honey."
The Commander nodded and motioned for his wife to take a step back before rolling his shoulders and then pressing his hands into the two halves of the door. Trying to wedge his fingers into the crack between the door was almost pointless, as he could dent the metal to get a grip on it just as easily. Once he'd pried the door open a few inches it was a different story. Slipping both hands into the gap he'd created, he easily pushed the doors apart far enough to get his foot on top of the lower half and push down, almost stomping it into the floor, and then with a mighty heave forced the upper half back into the ceiling.
There was another door on the other side. This one was much less complicated and a single punch knocked it off it's mountings and into the room.
The room was mostly dark, illuminated only by the faint glow of a control panel and two swirling orbs.
"That's DOCTOR Insano you twit!" the villain snarled in his high-pitched, nasally voice, glaring at them through the glowing, swirling, lenses of his goggles.
"You really are insane if you think you're going to get away with...this," The Commander finished lamely.
Dr. Insano's expression went flat, "You don't even know what I'm doing here do you?"
"We don't need to know what you're doing! With you it's always some insane scheme to take over the world!"
"Of course! What else should someone of MY intellect be doing but ruling all of you CLODS! Unfortunately you've always managed to find a way to stop me!" he paused and sneered, "Usually using brute force. But NO MORE!," He cried, "Here is where you FAIL and I am VICTORIOUS!" and with that he burst into maniacal laughter.
"You're delusional. We've already destroyed your robot army. You're finished!"
"Oh of course you didn't notice," he said, his voice flattening and dripping with disdain, "why did I even think you would?"
The Commander stopped, confused, while Jetstream's eyes darted back and forth, thinking back and wondering if she hadn't been imaging things...
"A CHILD could have destroyed those robots! They were nothing but canon fodder! Their only reason for existing was to delay you so that I could finish THIS!" he said, gesturing behind him at the still obscured device. "But of course you didn't notice they posed no threat to anyone, let alone you."
"It doesn't matter what your plan is! We're going to stop you!"
"I'd like to see you try," Dr. Insano muttered under his breath as he tapped on the control panel and fired up the device.
Jetstream launched herself at the mad scientist, only to collide with nothing to the sound of an electric drum and a flash of light, "Force field!" Dr. Insano cackled.
The Commander stepped forward and punched the force field, the room thrummed with energy for a moment, but the field held. "Whoops!" Dr. Insano said as The Commander pulled back for another blow, "Almost forgot!" and flicked a switch.
Rows of incandescent lights lit up, casting stark white light on to the two heroes. They flinched back and shielded their eyes for a moment, but when nothing else happened, The Commander pulled back and punched the field again.
A faint thud barely echoed through the room.
The Commander and Jetstream's eyes widened in confusion and horror.
Dr. Insano snickered to himself, "Ya know, duplicating the technology in the old school's detention room was a lot harder than I'd thought it'd be, but the looks on your faces! So worth it!"
Then he practically skipped over to the side where he took hold of a rather large cart and started wheeling it over toward the device, "You see, this here?" he pointed toward the large circular device, spinning away and emitting a whirring sound that ws gradually rising in pitch and sparking with energy. "It's an interdimensional por-"
Suddenly the portal burst to life with the force of an explosion.
Dr. Insano was knocked off his feet and the cart rocked on it's wheels, spilling almost all of it's contents, "Well...that was a bit more...explosive than I'd anticipated," he muttered to himself. He picked himself up and started reloading his cart, "As I was saying, this is an interdimensional portal. It took me a long time, but I finally managed to locate a dimension just like ours but WITHOUT SUPERHEROES!" he shrieked. "Once I step through into that world, there will be nothing to stop me! No supermen and women to stand against my mad SCIENCE! The world will be mine for the taking! I'll be the supreme ruler of that world in no time at-" a blade suddenly burst through his chest, The Commander and Jetstream flinched back in shock, "-...all?"
Insano was suddenly knocked forward onto the ground and off the blade, revealing a small girl with bright purple hair, a black eye mask, and a dark purple leather jumpsuit with matching cape, "Yeah, that's not happening, douchebag."
Hit Girl and Kick-Ass walked through an alleyway. Strolled, almost. Kick-Ass had his hands clasped behind his back and Hit Girl held her staff behind her neck and over her shoulders, arms dangling over it by her wrists. She sighed contentedly, "It's a good night to be alive, isn't it?"
Kick-Ass looked over at her and smiled. She was always in a good mood when they got to beat the living hell out of a group of punks with delusions of grandeur. Especially when she got to maim or critically injure one or two of them so the world wouldn't think she was losing her edge. Something she'd frequently worried about since Dave had convinced her that the police would have less of a problem with her if she stopped leaving bodies for them to clean up all over the city.
"It's funny how they think they can keep these little budding organizations secret from us," he said, "Like they don't realize we have half the city tipping us off."
She giggled, not laughed, giggled, she was really must have been in a good mood, "They're such fucking dumbasses"
And then a brief spark of electricity was their only warning before a second later the space in front of them ripped open into a swirling vortex and a rush of air pulled them tumbling through and onto a cold cement floor in a partially lit room.
It took them a moment to get their bearings, but eventually they picked themselves up and into a crouch behind the...cart they had nearly slammed into and took notice of the voice speaking, a man's voice but high-pitched and nearly raving, "Once I step through into that world, there will be nothing to stop me! No supermen and women to stand against my mad SCIENCE!"
Their eyes flew wide open as they peeked under the cart to see two people, who were certainly dressed like superheroes, pounding against what could only be a forcefield. Whatever was going on it looked like the raving lunatic had won.
"The world will be mine for the taking!"
Except for two unexpected wrenches in the gears.
"I'll be the supreme ruler of that world in no time at-"
Hit Girl didn't hesitate, she stood up, stepped around the cart, grabbed the man's shoulder and rammed the end of her bladed staff through his back and out his chest.
Hit Girl released the man's shoulder but when he didn't immediately fall to the floor she kicked him in the back, sending him sprawling across the floor, "Yeah, that's not going to happen, douchebag."
The man rolled over, blood staining his shirt, but not nearly as much as she was used to seeing, his eyes widened, going by his eyebrows at least since his actual eyes were hidden behind a pair of goggles, "No...NO! It's not possible! There aren't any superheroes in that world! I scanned it FIVE TIMES!"
"I don't have powers, asshole, but I'm still gonna kick your ass."
"Oh." he said, suddenly calm,"Well, this won't be a problem then," and he pressed a button on a device on his wrist.
Immediately the room was filled with the humming of machinery powering up, the echoes of metal thudding into place, and the light from several containment units as they activated and opened. In unison, at least a dozen robots stepped forward from each of the side walls. Hit Girl immediately began slowly backing towards the cart, which was the best cover the room provided, and away from what she thought looked like unholy combinations of Iron Man and Terminators.
They all turned their heads towards the mad scientist, who screamed, nearly shrieked, "KILL HER!"
Their gazes all snapped to her and then raised their arms which opened to reveal the barrel of some kind of gun.
She drew her guns and leapt behind the cart as dozens of energy blasts met where she'd been standing, creating a small crater in the floor. She fired off half a dozen shots, aiming for their heads, only half of which hit their marks, and even those seemed to do nothing but ricochet off harmlessly.
"Got any ideas?" Hit Girl asked as more blasts impacted the cart, destroying half it's contents.
"I've got one, yeah." Kick-Ass said, sounding slightly panicked. "Stay here," he said, before running out from behind the cart. None of the robots turned their attention on him, which he'd hoped would be the case. He'd noticed that their guns took a few seconds to charge, and thanked god that they were all firing in unison. He ran around behind one and, just before it fired, wrenched it's arm cannon to the side, pointing it at the next robot in line.
The blast partially destroyed the robot and knocked it into the next one in line, but didn't create the hoped-for domino effect.
He turned to see Hit Girl running across the room, the last blast having destroyed the last of the cart. He saw her slide under another blast before the robot whose arm he was still gripping knocked him backwards, sending him skidding across the floor.
"KILL THEM BOTH!"
He looked up to see the closest robot to him turn it's gun on him, and then he heard the "tink-tink-tink" of metal bouncing across concrete and looked down just in time to see one of Hit Girl's rarely-used-but-always carried grenades roll into the foot of one of the robots, and curled into a ball just as it exploded destroying the four closest ones and knocking all but the furthest down.
"The field generators! Destroy them and we can help!"
Kick-Ass and Hit Girl both looked to the woman hero and then to where she was pointing, the room finally bright enough to see the projectors attached to the ceiling. Hit Girl opened fire on one, while Kick-Ass ran to a robot targeting him and managed to force it's gun to shoot out the second one. It then took a swing at him which he just barely ducked. He kicked out one of it's knees, but it merely stumbled and didn't fall.
He shoulder tackled the off balance robot and managed to send it to the floor, a minor victory he quickly realized as there were still over a dozen function robots. The other two heroes however were managing to follow his lead and redirect the blasts into other robots.
"KILL ALL OF THEM!"
"The power suppressors are still affecting us! Destroy them and I can end this!"
Hit Girl, who was having limited success with her attempts to cut the robots apart at the joints, slid between the legs of one of the robots, resulting in it getting it's leg blown off by another robot, and tossed her second, and last, grenade at what looked like rows of florescent lights that had been directed at the other two heroes.
The bank of lights blew apart, taking another robot with it. There was still another set on the other side of the room though. Kick-Ass broke into a run and threw his shoulder against it. The bank of lights rocked, but the bolts held and it didn't tip. He leapt to the side, just in time to avoid a barrage of energy blasts which obliterated the lights.
The mad scientist screamed again, only this time there were no words, just rage and anguish.
Jetstream didn't know who these two heroes were, but she had to admire the way they moved. The girl was obviously an expert martial artist, and the man, though obviously not as agile, was quick on his feet and able to dodge the blasts easily. They were also quite brave. If what she said about them not having any powers was true, then to take up a costume and fight crime was a great risk, but not only that, they didn't hesitate to stand against robots designed to fight people that DID have powers.
And they were winning.
Sure, they were using blades, guns, and explosives, but their feet and fists as well. Perhaps, due to the lack of superheroes to protect them, the people of their world were simply made of stronger stuff than the general population of her world.
And then she realized that they were slowing down, getting tired, and there were still a dozen or so robots to contend with. She looked around the room desperately, and then her eyes found what she was looking for."The field generators! Destroy them and we can help!" she yelled to them,
It didn't take them long, seconds after she called out the fore field was done and she and the Commander were laying into robots as well.
They were definitely a few grades above what they'd fought in the last room, and they were both forced to adopt the tactic of forcing the robots to shoot each other.
She could easily feel her husband's frustration. With the power suppressors working, he was still strong, but merely "stronger than the average joe" strong. And being used to things either breaking or being knocked across the room, if not for miles, when he punched them, he hadn't put a lot of effort into learning how to fight and was being forced to take the most defensive actions of all of them.
Finally he shouted, "The power suppressors are still affecting us! Destroy them and I can end this!"
The two heroes from the other world wasted no time in destroying them.
Almost immediately Jetsream felt herself lifting off the ground, not realizing that she'd been reflexively trying to take to the air the entire time. Then she turned to The Commander and she could feel the power radiating off of him once again, as if the world suddenly had to bear his weight again.
He cracked his knuckles and said, "And now this ends."
He leapt at the closest robot and punched it without any attempt to hold back. It flew across the room almost too fast to see, hit a wall, and managed to create a small crater before blowing apart as it's power source ruptured.
It took him a matter of seconds to obliterate the remaining robots, though he nearly knocked one of them in to the girl who yelled, "Hey! Watch where you're punching those things!"
Once the last one was destroyed he seemed to have worked out his frustration and dusted his hands off with an accomplished sigh from a job well done.
The two of them turned to the two mystery heroes, who were dusting each other off and checking each other for injuries. She noticed the girl seemed to be paying extra attention to the guy for some reason.
Finally The Commander stepped forward, hand held out for a shake, "You two did pretty good back there. Especially impressive for not having powers. What're your names?"
The girl looked at him for a moment before brushing a lock of hair out her eyes, "I'm Hit Girl," and with a jerk of her head towards the guy, "And he's Kickass."
"Ah," The Commander said, lowering his unshaken hand.
"And he's getting away," "Kickass" said looking towards the door where Insano was crawling away.
"Oh no he's fucking not!"
The Commander grimaced. The two were rude and foulmouthed, well, the girl was at least, but he wanted to like them since they carried themselves like experienced veterans despite their apparent age, and their skill at least was worthy of respect.
He and Jetstream followed the two as the girl stalked after Insano, "How the hell are you even still alive!?" she demanded, kicking him onto his back.
He propped himself up on his elbows and said, "In a world with brutes like that," he said with a glare at The Commander, "You learn to take some precautions," and he ripped open his blood stained shirt to reveal the wound and the sparking cybernetic within.
The girl seemed slightly taken aback before saying, "Wicked."
"Well, you've caught me," Insano grumbled, "Go ahead, slap the cuffs on. I was actually starting to miss my old cell."
"Ha! Yeah, about that. We're not in the habit of arresting insane megalomaniacs who try to take over the world."
Insano blinked, probably, "What?"
And before Jetsream or The Commander could move to stop her, Hit Girl drew a gun and shot Insano right between the eyes, splattering blood, bone, and brain matter all over the floor. She smirked as she turned to Kickass, "Guess he should have taken more precautions."
The Commander and Jetstream stared, frozen in shock.
"Alright, let's get out of here. We need to round up the gang and tell 'em about how we actually saved the world."
The Commander and Jetstream snapped out of it and rounded on the two. "Where do you think you're going?" The Commander demanded.
Hit Girl turned and said, "Home. Duh. Didn't you hear me just say that? Or was the gunshot too much for your super hearing?"
"We," Jetstream said, walking up to her, "Aren't in the habit of letting killers walk free."
"Yeah, well you DO seem to be in the habit of letting psychotic megalomaniacs have chance after chance to kill innocent people! Now you and the rest of the world will never have to deal with this wack-job again! You should be thanking us!"
"He was brilliant!"
"He was a lunatic!"
"Excuse me." Kickass said, speaking up, "Where we come from, we don't have the luxuries of super strength or invulnerability. We can't take chances like you can. When some deluded maniac tries to make a power play that could hurt lots of people, we have to put them down like the sick dogs they are. We just can't afford to keep these people around, and it discourages more from trying. As it is, we have to deal with some sort of large scale insanity about once a year."
Jetstream and the Commander shared a quick look as the both thought about how some supervillian or evil genius was trying some scheme every other week.
"We still can't just let you leave after what you did."
"Uh. Yeah. You can. We go back through the portal, no-one else knows we were here, and if anyone asks he got his head blown off by a stray energy blast. Problem solved. Besides, our city needs us. Hell, our whole world needs us. Without us around for inspiration heroes around the world would start giving up and whole place would sink back into the cesspool it was before this dorky motherfucker," she said pointing at Kickass, "decided to put on a costume and stop a beating."
"Well," The Commander said, "while you do raise some valid points, I suppose, I'm afraid you'll be sticking around anyway."
"What?" Hit Girl yelled, at the same time as Kickass said "Why?"
He pointed towards the far wall, where the inter-dimensional portal lay dark and unmoving, with a chunk blown out of one side, and the control panel a smoking, sparking, wreck.