Why didn't you come back to me
I'll give you whatever you want
Turn around and you will find
I needed you all the way now
If you don't mind
Most days, Savannah found that she could ignore how much she hated herself for the choices that she had made. Life had a way of keeping her busy now, keeping her mind off of John. She was finishing school, taking care of her increasingly sick husband, caring for her step-son as well. There had been the adventure with Horse Sense, which hadn't worked out, but she still had the stable to tend to.
Days were easier. Things went on to keep her mind off of the man who still owned her heart. She could forget for awhile.
Nights, however, they were a different story. She always found herself up at night, thinking of her long lost soldier. It did't matter how long she had been awake, how tired she was. It didn't matter if she were in her own bed, or not. It didn't matter if Tim was curled up beside her. Her last thoughts before finally drifting to sleep were always of him.
Savannah didn't regret her decision, not in the traditional sense anyway. But she wasn't happy with how things had panned out either.
She hated how it all happened, hated having hurt both herself and her ex. She hated how much she still loved him. She'd cry herself to sleep praying she could feel the same for her husband, to give him what he deserves... not a wife pining for another man in her heart.
It never seemed to work, though.
On nights the moon was full, Savannah found life as it were nearly impossible to deal with. When her husband and son were fast asleep, she hunted down her box of letters. Savannah would pull one or two out at random then go out to the porch to re-live some of her not-so-distant history. There her mind could wander. She could remember him, remember them together. She could imagine all the what ifs.
Savannah would wonder where John was tonight, and if he was safe.