At the Kooroova Milk-Shop,
sitting in the best seat,
was I, Alex, with my droogs,
that's Dim, Georgie and Pete.
All in the heighth of fashion the four of us were dressed;
drinking the old moloko – mixed with synthmesc was best.
Our molokos then began their moloko-plus pricks,
which meant out into the nochy went us four malchicks...

Leaving the biblio was this mossy schoolmaster
with books under his arm, so we walked up much faster.
While us four smiling droogs surrounded him in a square
I said, "Pardon me, brother, but what books have you there?"

"Oh, these books aren't for you. They are too precious you see.
These books are quite advanced and not for ones such as thee."
I instead snatched them out
saying, "We just want to look,"
and began to read his big Crys-tal-log-ra-phy book.

"This book is quite amusing, so to you, sir, thank you.
I'm taking these as mine but won't return them once due."
We then pushed him aside and carried away anew.

In a brand new, found,
Durangola-McFive,
we ran down lewdies as, due west, we did drive.
Noticing this cottage with HOME on its gate,
we stop in the drive and I in-ves-ti-gate.

I say through the door to the veck out of view.
"Pardon me, monsieur. Sorry to disturb you.
I know it is late but you appear lonely.
I have just the cure but have just one only.
It is the best of cures. It's truly quite great
and will improve ten-fold your sad lonely state!"
He paused for a moment...and then he said, "Wait."

The front door then opened and in came with me
droogie Pete,
droogie Dim
and droogie Georgie
all wearing masks, making much fun to be had,
and starting a game called, Now Let's All Be Bad.

But, he did not like, he was a dissenter,
"What is this? Who Are You? HOW DARE YOU ENTER!
You all cannot be here! IT'S NOT A REC. CENTER!"
"Thou did pray to have fun,"
said I to the squire,
"Well this is the fun that thoust so require!"

As I tilted my hat and picked up his cat
beginning the old cat-hat balancing act,
Georgie grabbed this vase, Pete and Dim fine decor
and proceeded to throw them right on to the floor
till, "No!" said the veck, "This is no fun at all!"
trying his best to put this fun to a stall.
And that was my cue so, along with guffaws,
I 'chocked the veck's head till the kroovy it was.

We all went back townwards to the Kooroova Milk-Shop
which was operating now with lewdies filled to the top.
In a moment of hush
this sharp and her Violoone
appeared out the lewdies stringing a fine Vio-Tune.
I was in just pure bliss as this song I quitely knew
...till Dim dog-howled and guffawed like he lived in a zoo.
For being a dum-bler he must a lesson be taught
so I decided to POP his dim, mannerless rot.

"I don't like what you done. I'm your brother no morewise!"
said Dim wiping his lip. Right then, much to my surprise,
Pete and Georgie jumped in and they began to chastise,
"No more picking on Dim. We don't like it that way!"
"In fact it should all be equal and not just your say!"
"BUT ORDER SHOULD BE KEPT," I barked,
"TO RULE I MUST!
I HAVE BEEN IN CHARGE LONG AND RULED YOU ALL QUITE JUST!"
They all warily nodded.
I had regained their trust.

For us came brand new drinkie-drinks, at my insist,
as for calming these droogies scotchies would assist.
I said, "Now my brothers, what doth ye have in mind?"
"I know of this one place," ol' Georgieboy outlined.
"There's a house in Oldtown that Dim and I espied
where this ancient cheena appears lonely inside."
I said, "Good, Georgieboy. Let's toast with a scotchy!
...Oh, the places we'll go this horrorshow nochy!"

Through the cheena's window we saw in her house
that she'd the bestest stuff and was without spouse.
Told my droogs, "Stay back. I'll go down the chimney.
Why the need to chat for her to let in: me?"
So inside I then slid, all gentle and slow;
peaked my head out the flue and then said, "Hello!"
But she reddened up
and like loudly bellowed,
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING
YOU YOUNG TILLIANOUS VOAD!?"
"Well know now if you must," I thought this up quick,
"I'm the chimney tester for dear old St. Nick!"

"You leave now at once!" she barked without caprice,
"He's already been so I'm calling police!"
"You've misunderstood," I rightly tried to say,
"I've come here in peace and just wanted to play,"
I tried to begin my famed balancing act
but her cats played rough; they just ran and attacked
till she came for me and my cheek she right smacked!
Like this I did not so I went on offense
and grabbed this statue that was really quite dense
and 'chocked her one fine
sparing
not
one
expense.

Hearing a siren that wasn't too distant,
I knew right then I must belt in an instant!
I ran to the front door and undid the chain,
but there stood old Dim
blocking my exit lane.
To him I exclaimed,
"OFF! Rozzes are nearing!"
"You stay and meet them," Dim said all like sneering.
Then without notice came his Oozy-la-mace
swinging right into my oblivious face.

"I'M BLIND YOU VILE SODS!" I creeched out as they fled.
The rozzes then came.
And away I was lead...