Insanity. What more do I need to say? This is Commando Zoey's poem, folks.

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Total Drama or any of its characters. I am not making any profit from this fanfiction.

Chris sighed. "I'm sorry folks, the most boring character ever is here. I apologize in advance."

"Hey!" exclaimed Zoey. "I'm not boring!"

"Oh yeah? What have you ever done that's interesting?"

"Well, I've, um, I got saved by Mike a few times!"

"Oh my gosh! How exciting!"


"Nope. Poem please, Mrs. Bore."

"Well, it's not really my poem. Commando Zoey wrote it."

"Do you think I care? Just give me the damn poem!"

"Fine, but you won't like it."

Time for you all,

To die a painful death,

I'm even crazier low,

Then when I'm high on meth.

It helps me swing through trees,

You bitches wouldn't know,

I wish you'd all just,

Jump of that cliff you schmo!

I'll shoot you with my arrows,

Then smack you with my bow,

You won't be dead quite yet,

First you'll watch the blood flow.

Weak-minded Zoey came on,

To the show called Total Drama,

She had no clue I waited inside,

Ready to cause shitloads of trauma.

I had to wait ages before,

She went through enough pain,

To let me slowly take over,

Her entire pathetic brain.

Mike left her, thanks to Scott,

And Chef shot her with a meatball,

She fell off a cliff,

And on the ground she'd crawl.

She got angrier and angrier,

Her self-pity was replaced by,

Rage like never had been felt before,

It was time for everyone to die.

Standing up straight,

Ripping a piece of my shirt,

Putting on war stripes,

They all needed to hurt.

Commando Zoey set up traps,

I wanted to watch them suffer,

Then I'd suck out their organs and refill them,

Like a psycho animal stuffer.

Sadly things didn't go to plan,

Cameron won the damn game,

Why? Why? Why?! WHY?!

Our friendship was to blame.

Chris gave Zoey a weird look. "Are you still Commando?"

"Am I going commando? Yeah, look." She dropped her pants a little and revealed her bush.

Chris stared at it pervertedly, but still wanted an answer. "I mean, are you still Commando Zoey?"

"Yes." She pulled a knife out of her pocket and approached Chris, slowly but surely.

"Um, Zoey? Someone needs a chill pill. HELP ME!"

Izzy threw another boulder out of the sky and crushed the psycho. "Thank goodness!" cried Chris, before another boulder landed on his head.

Thanks for reading and please review! I'm feeling epic right now 'cause I'm listening to good music. Anyway, only two more poems left! We're coming down the wire here, and it's sure to end with a bang! Since this is going by the US winners, Cameron is next. Catch y'all later!