[…unWARP!]

Good evening.

This is my first attempt to write for MLP:FiM while using a self-insert OC. However, there will be no pairing him with any of the Mane 6, or any of the background characters, either. This is just a brief story of one lone stallion, and his POV of a number of events from Season 1 and Season 2, and his problems with 2 of the Mane 6.

It takes place shortly after "Luna Eclipsed" but before "Hearth's Warming Eve".

It also takes place within "The Sour Grapes Chronicles" continuity.

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An Imaginary Prologue

Sweet Apple Acres and Grapevine Hills were the last settlements south of Ponyville, the last claims of the fertile lands of Canterlot Valley before the feared enchanted soil of the Everfree Forest and its free-moving clouds and weather.

Heading north, first there was the Ponyville Elementary Schoolhouse, then the market district and Town Hall, and even further north was the Golden Oaks Public Library, and then the hospital on the outskirts of the town. Several housing developments were being built next to the hospital, though some ponies complained that the work there was going too fast and with shoddy labour and materials.

Further north was the pristine east end of Whitetail Woods, and north of that was the Unicorn Mountain Range, though despite its name, several earth ponies had rock farms in that area. The tallest mountain of the range, northeast of Ponyville, was Mount Canter, which held near its peak Equestria's Capital City: Canterlot.

Northwest of Canterlot was the impressive pegasus cloud city of Cloudsdale.

All of these towns and cities, and many others, were held together by a recent invention: the railroad.

And it was near the railroad that connected Ponyville and Canterlot where two stallions were walking one autumn afternoon.

Not that they were walking right next to it; the train whistle was actually rather distant from their current location, because the two stallions were walking away from the tracks and toward the mountain.

It wasn't the first time they had come this way; the first time had been several years ago after the two had befriended a third stallion, whom, it seemed, lived here, in the middle of nowhere.

Or, actually, in between Canterlot and Ponyville.

"He's not going to agree."

"Maybe not, but if'n he doesn't, at least we'll know we tried."

"He refused to get a date for Nightmare Night! What makes you think he'll be up for something like this?"

"His sister an' brother-in-law were settlin' in town! Yew couldn't expect him t'drop everythin' juss' f'r a date, raght?"

"I suppose not, but you know how difficult it is to get him out of his house during 'business hours'."

"He has an important job. But maybe…just maybe…he'll take a break…for once."

"Let's hope you're right…"

The two stallions, one very muscular and red, and the other even more muscular and white, though slightly shorter, continued on their way toward a solitary chalet that stood in the middle of a field, framed by woods on the south, east, and northwest, an open field on the west which led to the railroad tracks, and the foot of Mount Canter on the northeast.

A tall stone fence marked the property boundary, broken only by two wooden gates in front and back.

A metal mailbox embedded in the fence—labelled with an odd mathematical formula—signalled postal workers where to leave the occupant's correspondence.

Next to the mailbox, near the top of the stone wall, was a red plastic button.

The red earth pony stallion had to rear up to reach the red doorbell with his front hoof, and the two heard a muffled ringing inside the chalet.

Big Macintosh Apple and Bulk Biceps waited outside for a few moments, until a very loud magical "ping" rang next to the gate.

Another muscular stallion, though not as large as the first two, suddenly appeared next to the wall and opened the gate.

fav . me/d4fneww

He was a red-brown unicorn with a dark mane and tail, both with a few highlights. Not quite as tall or muscular as Macintosh or Bulk, he was still quite buffed in comparison to other unicorns. His legs faded from brown to black on his hooves, marking his fetlocks, and his left hoof held an analogue watch.

His cutie mark was the same that was on his mailbox: a mathematical formula that seemed somewhat contradictory, at first:

The Square Root of Minus One

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Most math novices would consider that to be contradictory and illogical because the formula has no solution: any negative number squared yields a positive number.

But, its true meaning is only known to those ponies who aren't math novices.

They would know that the formula isn't a formula at all, but rather the solution to a formula:

The imaginary number.

It was that solution, in white, that adorned the unicorn's flanks.

And that was also precisely the stallion's name: "Imaginary".

Up in his face, his copper-gold eyes glistened with calmness and friendship. His voice was somewhat deep, but not quite as deep as Macintosh's:

"Ah, Mr. Apple, good to see you again, and you too, Mr. Biceps, I see you're back from Cloudsdale. You sent off your application?"

"YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" replied the muscled pegasus.

"Fair enough," said Imaginary. "What brings you two to my humble home in the middle of nowhere?"

Macintosh pulled out a paper from under his yoke, and tossed it to the unicorn. Before it could drift to the ground, Imaginary caught it with his magic. The paper flickered for a moment with a gold-earth aura, and the unicorn visibly strained to get it upright.

"Darned telekinesis…I can do everything but…ah, let's see…'…the Ponyville orphanage is in need of funding…fund raising activity…bachelor auction'?" The stocky unicorn looked at his best friends. "You two are signing up to be auctioned off?"

"Actually…" said the huge earth pony, "We were kinda hopin' yew'd join in."

"YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Imaginary unstopped his right ear. "Wait, you want me to sign up for this as well? Look, I know the male-female ratio in Ponyville is rather skewed, but what could I possibly have that would help this auction?"

"Well, for starters, we'd finally get you out of that stuffy house of yours for a reason that wouldn't have to do with buying groceries or lab supplies…or going to Canterlot to send your reports," added Bulk in his normal voice, which sounded rather calm, since he wasn't trying to show off in front of any mares.

"I don't know…I'd expect you two to rake in just about every spare bit in Ponyville by yourselves…I wouldn't be surprised if females formed herds in order to pool their funds just to buy you, Mr. Apple."

Macintosh chuckled. "An' why wouldn't any mare go out o' her way t'get a good price f'r yew? Ah know yew've lived here f'r a long time, but not many ponies know yew back in town. Yew jess' maght come off as 'exotic' an' bring in plenty o' bits yerself. An' it is f'r charity."

Imaginary looked at the white structures of Canterlot up to the northeast, and then at the idyllic town of Ponyville to the southwest. "This…this is quite a tall order that you're asking from me, you know."

"We know what happened before. But we wouldn't ask this of you if we knew you weren't ready for it," said Bulk.

"I…I have no say on who buys me, right? I'm stuck with whoever bids the highest?"

"We're not askin' yew t'fall in love, Imaginary. We're…just wantin' yew t'have a nice night…after all these years, an' all the hard work yew've done…at least treat yerself t'a pleasant evenin' with nice company."

"It's not falling in love that worries me, guys." He turned toward the town again, and looked at two structures. One was almost completely white, the other was brown and cream. "Let's just say that there are some…ponies…that I would like to avoid."

"Avoid?" asked the pegasus.

"I'll give the auction some thought, but honestly, I doubt I'll bring in more than two bits. Let me talk to the organizers…and…" he sighed, "…I'll do what I can to help…"

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Tara Strong

Andrea Libman

Tabitha St. Germain

Ashleigh Ball

Cathy Weseluck

have

ONLY AN IMAGINARY FRIEND

with

Peter New

Michael Dobson

William Lawrenson as Pip Squeak and Featherweight

and introducing The J.A.M. as Imaginary

Special appearances by

Michelle Creber as Apple Bloom

Madeline Peters as Scootaloo

Claire Corlett as Sweetie Belle

Chantal Strand as Diamond Tiara

Shannon Chan-Kent as Silver Spoon

The Incredible Werekitty as Sour Grapes

and

Able DuSable as Stormfront and Squall

Written by The J.A.M., a.k.a. Numbuh i

Edited by Nathaniel T. Freeman

Some segments were co-written with The Incredible Werekitty