Resident Evil Commercials Slogans.

By diddly day

Disclaimer: Nothing in this is mine. Commercials aren't mine, RE's not mine. They all belong to
other people. So don't sue me, I don't have any money.

This is just to see what if RE was used for our average, everyday, dumb commercials. It's sort of
a game. Can you guess what commercial I'm making fun of? I wrote this in about ten minutes so
just excuse the spelling errors. I don't think there are many.


Claire. A shot of her in the prison. She's covered in blood, sweet, and lizard brains. Running as
fast as she can, she comes to a pool in the Military Training Facility. Beads of sweet run down
her forehead as she falls into the pool. It feels cool and refreshing. As she comes up for air, she
takes in a deep breath.

Yeah, it's kinda like that.



* * *


Ada. She's in the morgue in Racoon. She glances at a body bag on the table. Looking around
nervously, she walks slowly to the bag. She carefully opens it up. A zombie pops out and takes a
huge bite out of her. She falls on the ground, wounded.

Reward your curiosity.

* * *


Leon. He walks into the storeroom. There are numerous guns a ammo. Staled of killing the
zombies outside with his puny little gun, he walks over to the rifle sitting in the corner of the
room. Examining the rifle carefully, Leon accidently pulls the trigger. As the gun goes off, Leon
gets a taste and wants more. He starts to pull all of triggers on all of the guns. Bullets and gun
smoke are everywhere. Leon is in the middle of doing an odd strut as Claire walks in. The
camera freezes.

Like to play around with stuff?


* * *

A zombie. He's right in the middle of a munching on a human corps when another zombie walks
up to him. The zombie speaks.

"Yeah know, that corps has been dead for 6 days."

The Zombie gets a panicked look and the camera zooms in.

"Huh?"

Subway, eat fresh.


* * *



Jill. She's in the middle of blasting zombies brains out, with an occasional dog here or there.
Running as fast as she can, she reaches for the mansion door. Pulling it open only to reveal a
dead zombie. Slowly he creeps up on her. Opening his mouth ready for a bite of Jill. He gets
about 2 inches form her face when he lets out a hiss.
"Dang!" Jill shouts. "You need an enema! Man you better get a whole truck load of tic-tacks
and wolf those puppy's down 'cause your breath is rank!"

Can you breath without a Tic-tack? Of course, but I wouldn't recommend it.


* * *


Chris. He's in the Manson. A hunter pops out of know where. Just as it's about to rip Chris's
head off. He blows it away with his bazooka. Blood and guts rain over Chris. Just then, a short,
black dude comes out of the shadows.

It looks good on ya!


A/N: Okay, that's all I got. I was tired.
Yeah, it's kinda like that. (Searea Mist, I can't spell it. Don't correct me, I don't drink that stuff)
Reward your curiosity.(Vanilla Coke)
Like to play around with stuff?(Best Buy)
Subway, eat fresh. (Subway, duh.)
Can you breath without a Tic-Tack? Of course, but I wouldn't recommend it. (Tic-Tack)
It looks good on ya!( Big Red)