Warnings! Dark depressing stuff, Cursing, Yaoi, Boy x Boy. Don't like don't read! I do not own Hetalia!


My Guardian Angel

Chapter 1

Broken

Dear Diary, 4/12/13

Today was not an awesome day like I had hoped. In fact it was so unawesome that I'm still shaking. This morning I woke up with an unknown confidence. I had no idea where it came from but it made me feel better. The rest of my morning went by smoothly until West started in on me about my grades again. We got into this huge argument about it and I ended up walking to school without him. After that it went down hill from there. I might have gotten into a fight with this Austrian prick (who I used to like but not anymore). I broke his nose and got suspended for two weeks. I was happy when I broke the stuck up bastards nose but the principal wasn't. I got yelled at yet again. So long story short, I'm an utter disappointment. I know this for a fact because my parents yelled it in my face when I got home. I just wish someone in this God forsaken world would understand me.

Gilbert sighed as he looked down at the journal in front of him. He reread the last sentence. In all his 17 years of living he had never felt so alone and misunderstood in his life. Sure he had friends he could go talk to but would they really listen? Would they understand his pain? He doubted it. He just felt like he needed someone close to tell all of his worries, guilt, secrets and fears to without getting hurt. He could tell his younger brother Ludwig about everything. Ludwig was the closest person to him besides their Grandfather but Ludwig had the emotional range of a teaspoon, as well as their Grandfather. Gilbert didn't know what else to do. He laid his head down on his desk that was in his room. His mind was going a mile a minute with dark thoughts. He thought his head might explode when he felt a tingling sensation on his left shoulder. He gasped and shot up, startled from his own thoughts.

He looked over his shoulder and around the room. It had felt like someone had brushed their hand over his shoulder. A chill ran down his spine. There was no one in the room other than himself and his pet bird, Gilbird, who was chirping and tweeting like crazy, trying to get his attention.

"W-what is it, mein awesome bird?" Gilbert said, drawing a shaky breath. That was way too fucking creepy for his liking. He did believe in the paranormal but getting touched by a ghost is where he drew the line.

Gilbird just chirped and fluttered his wings in his cage. Gilbert walked over to the cage and opened it. The fluffy yellow bird sprung out of the cage and flew to a corner of the room by his dresser. Gilbert was confused by his birds strange behavior. The bird flew and swooped all around the corner, chirping excitedly. Gilbert walked over to the corner and Gilbird calmed down, nesting himself into Gilbert's snow-white hair. He raised his hand and gently plucked Gilbird from his comfortable perch on his soft white locks.

"Now, what was that all about? You're freaking me out bro." There was no doubt in Gilbert's mind that he was really freaked out at this point. He moved away from the corner with the fluffy yellow bird perched on his finger. He still had the feeling that he was being watched. He quickly left the room, feeling a little better now that he wasn't being watched.

Back in Gilbert's bedroom the invisible entity in the corner of the room sighed in relief. It slowly began to take on a form of its own. A white mist began to appear in the corner of the room. The mist thickened and collected, forming long pale legs, lean hips and stomach, toned torso and chest, thin hands that connected to slightly muscular arms. Shoulder length pale gold hair framed its-His face. Soft violet eyes flashed in the sunlight that came through the open window. He stretched his newly formed limbs and sighed in contentment. To his embarrassment he forgot to form clothing. With a small blush and a quiet squeak he quickly formed clothing, though it was more modern than what he was use to. A red sweatshirt appeared, covering his torso and arms, along with a pair of jeans and black converse. He had also meant to form his wings but was afraid his wingspan was too large for the room he was currently in.

His name was Matthew Williams and he was a guardian angel. To be specific, he was Gilbert's guardian angel. He had been watching over Gilbert since birth and since that time he had gotten to know Gilbert. When he was a small child, Gilbert was able to see him, even when he was in his invisible state. Matthew use to play with him and talk to him all the time when he was young. But as Gilbert got older he could no longer see Matthew. The angel was saddened by the thought that Gilbert could not see him, though, he figured it was for the best that Gilbert didn't know his existence.

Even when Matthew has taken on his human form, no one can see him unless he makes his form more solid. Only special humans can truly see him. Children can see him because of their innocence and pure souls. The usually grow out of seeing him eventually, when the world corrupts their souls just enough. Matthew had grown increasingly worried about Gilbert's mental health over the years. Ever since he turned 13, Gilbert had been acting differently. He wore more black than he usually did. He acted out more, got into arguments that weren't necessary. He even got into fist fights more often than not. Matthew's job was to protect this human at any cost. When Gilbert would get into a fight he would heal most of the albino's injuries over night. He could not interfere in the fight itself. Guardians are never suppose to harm other humans. That was the number one rule for all angels in general.

Matthew would protect Gilbert form the fights if he could. Luckily for both of them Gilbert had only obtained a few bruises and cuts from his most recent fight with a boy named Roderich. The Austrian had set Gilbert off in history by saying that since the country/ kingdom of Prussia no longer existed, they shouldn't have to learn about it's history. That really pissed Gilbert off because he was born in east Germany. That is how Gilbert ended up punching Roderich in the nose before Roderich tackled him. It took a couple of burly guys to separate them. They looked like they wanted to kill each other. In the end they both got suspended.

Matthew sighed again and sat on Gilbert's bed. The covers were white with a black eagle printed on the cotton fabric. The pillows were black and white, laid neatly at the front of the well made bed. The angel glanced at Gilbert's desk. The journal was wide open. Matthew was curious as to what Gilbert writes about in his journal. He had never read through it or anything. He was good at not invading other peoples privacy; such a case would be when Gilbert undressed for bed or a shower. The angel would either turn around or leave the room. Even though Gilbert didn't know he was there, Matthew still respected that Gilbert needed privacy.

The angel got up from the bed and went over to the oak wood deck, his curiosity getting the better of him. Though Matthew was a powerful angel, he could not read the minds of humans.

He sat down softly on the computer chair in front of the desk. He read the entry from today, feeling a weight on his heart as he read the last line. He had no idea Gilbert felt this way. He wanted to know more. He went back to a journal entry dated back in October of 2012. He began to read the entry carefully, memorizing every detail.

Dear Diary 10/13/12

I am Awesome! Anyway, today I kept having this strange feeling that I was being watched. It's starting to creep me out more than usual. Almost everywhere I go I feel like its following me. It is weird to say the least but I think it just likes to be in my Awesome presence. Either that or it is watching over me. It doesn't seem to be evil at all. On a more positive not I decided I am going to ask this Austrian guy out sometime this week. I hope he says yes. I really like him, even though he is a guy as well. I haven't come out to anyone besides my best friends. Well that's about all for today. I'll come back to talk about how it went with Roderich.

Matthew had remembered when that happened. Roderich had outright rejected him, calling him so many horrible names and laughing in his face. Gilbert was crushed for weeks after that and wouldn't even look in Roderich's direction.

Matthew sighed and read a few more journal entries. He never knew Gilbert was so sensitive. He never knew how alone he felt in the world. Matthew stopped on this one journal entry. It looked rather interesting until he read the first sentence, his heart sank into an oblivion and his eyes widened.

Dear Diary 1/23/13

Today was so unawesome I don't even have words to describe how unsettled I feel right this very second. I just got home and I immediately broke down into tears. I went to then bathroom and just broke. I don't know how much more I can take of this life...

It was a very short journal with very little information but Matthew became scared. Afraid that Gilbert was doing something horrible to himself that he didn't know about. Just then he heard the door open to the room and it was too late. Matthew couldn't disappear quick enough. He was too solid for his body to evaporate all at once. He turned around and saw a terrified Gilbert.

"Who the hell are you?!"


A/N: HELLO DEAR READERS~! Thank you for reading this wonderful fanfiction of mine~~! You guys are so wonderful for reading this! Please review and tell me what you think please!