Note: Bleh. I don't have energy to write but I wanted to put something out today. So I decided to go ahead and release this first part. It really isn't much but hopefully it will renew some of my interest in writing. :-) Thanks for reading!
I don't like surprises.
The ride home was pretty long. Luckily, I didn't have to change buses. All I had to do was sit there and watch the scenery fly by for a little over an hour.
Yeah, right. Like I'd really watch the scenery at a time like this.
It's funny, really. Logically, it's a matter of simple biology: one cell splits into two and each of these new cells split once again. The cycle continues on and on until BAM! there's a brand new human being is just waiting to be born.
Just simple biology
Except for right now, it didn't seem to be so simple.
How could I be carrying a brand new life inside of me? The idea was intimidating yet exciting as hell at the same time. There was another being inside of me: complete with a tiny heart that circulated blood through an impossible small body. A few more months and then the ten tiny fingers would start forming. Then the hair would grow. And then, eventually, he'd start to think and feel and live.
God. That was going on inside of me.
I had to kind of laugh. It was like my hand was magnetically connected to my belly: I'd pull my hand away, yet the next time I looked down, my palm would be resting on my stomach. Heh. Still flat, too. You'd never know I was probably about three months pregnant.
Not that I could blame you. After all, I had no clue.
How could I possibly be pregnant?
Before I even knew it, I was lining up to get off the bus. It was strange walking there; wandering around in some strange neighborhood I've passed for years and yet have never really even looked at. It didn't take long for me to find the local pharmacy, though it was a good thing the boss had me go home early: the sign in the window said the place would close at five and I don't even get out of work until at least 6 PM. I bought two of them.
It was a waste of money all the way around, but I had to see it with my own eyes. I must have looked like a total fool standing there in the line: my hands sweating profusely as I gripped those way expensive pregnancy tests.
I must have stood in like for a good ten minutes. But it really wasn't so bad, really. The funny thing is that I've never really noticed how many babies there were around here. It seemed that every time I turned my head, I'd see another mother cradling a young child in her hands.
I think I must have run out of the pharmacy the second I paid for those damn tests.
Maybe I should have waited until I got home, but I couldn't help it. It didn't take me long to find a public bathroom and ripped the first box open.
Five minutes later I was still standing there, staring down at the damn little blue stick. Funny thing is, I had the instructions right in front of my nose but for some reason, I just couldn't read it. It must have stood there for forever, trying to remember... trying to understand what that little blue line meant.
Until that moment, I never knew what the phrase "so happy I cried" meant. But god, it was a glorious feeling.
I patted dry the test and shoved it in my purse.
It was true. I was going to have a baby.
Note: Um. Let me take a minute to explain that Hitomi isn't quite thinking yet. She's just responding to something that's a little bit of a miracle and the question of "How the hell did I get pregnant...?" hasn't even occured to her yet. But, I promise you, it will. Just hang in there and let me know what you think? Thanks!