Title: Again (inspired by the Janet Jackson song of the same title)
Chapter One: Remembering (1/18)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I'm writing this Fanfic because of my immense love for the movie! Don't sue!
Summary: Sam didn't kiss Josie on the pitcher's mound. They meet three years later. This is my favorite Fanfic – it's filled with surprises, stuff that you think Josie and Sam would never do.
Rating: Mainly PG-13
Author's note: Please read and review people! I would totally appreciate each and every one of them. I hope you like this one!
******** Oh yeah! For all the Never Been Kissed lovers out there, please bear with me as I do some shameless plugging.
I recently created a Never Been Kissed website, and it has screen caps, my own thoughts on what's happening on a certain scene, some wallpapers, links and my own NBK Fanfics, together with some other Fanfics that I have archived coming for different talented NBK Fanfic writers. Please, visit it over at: http://www.adelepenguins.20megsfree.com
I hope that you will visit it and please don't forget to sign my guest book and to leave a message on my message board if you have any questions about the site. And if you want to be up-to-date with all the happenings in www.adelepenguins.com, please join the mailing list. All the links are in the site. JJJJJJ
******** end of shameless plugging **********
Here are the lyrics of the song, so that you'll know why I chose it – the summary of the story is basically in the song:
I heard from a friend today and She said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back
To me in my mind
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you
A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many,
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts,
God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again
Making love to you felt so good and
Oh so right
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you
So here we are alone again
Didn't think I'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I've come too close to happiness,
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall again
Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me then leave again
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again
Hold me, hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you again
Here's we go… have fun reading!
…Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!
The crowd chanted… each second counted brings added pain to her heart. Josie Geller looked around, wondering where Sam Coulson is. Josie braced herself to the final five seconds that she knew would eventually come. Nothing can ever stop it.
Five! Four! Three! Two! One!
The microphone fell from her hand and it fell to the ground with a dull thud… signaling that it is indeed over. She closed her eyes as her heart began to constrict painfully. His five minutes were up and he still hasn't come. The crowd has become eerily silent as they realized that Josie's mystery teacher hasn't and probably, wouldn't come.
They all sat back down, all feeling such sadness and sympathy for the woman who placed it all on the line for true love. And here she was… alone… crying. Josie looked up and smiled sadly… knowing that he's not going to come… that he hasn't forgiven her… Rob Geller walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her… on his shoulder she wept until there were no tears left for her to cry…
"SAM!" Josie Geller screamed as she sat up from her bed. Beads of sweat slowly trickled down her face and her back as the dream came rushing back to her. It's been three years since that fateful day at the pitcher's mound, where Sam Coulson didn't come to kiss her and she still hasn't forgotten all about it.
She rubbed her eyes and noticed that tears are falling from them. 'I should just forget all about him… because he has obviously forgotten about me.' She thought ruefully as she stood up to go to the kitchen for a glass of water.
"Josie?" a small voice called out from the direction of the second bedroom that she has had constructed. She turned her head and saw her six-year-old cousin Georgia rubbing her eyes sleepily. Josie smiled as her cousin walked over to her to hug her. "You had another bad dream?" Georgia asked. Josie looked at her affectionately.
"No, I didn't. I was just thirsty." She lied. There's no need for Georgia to know that she indeed had another bad dream. Georgia started living with her three years ago… two weeks after that day at the pitcher's mound. Her parents went to Japan to work, and Georgia didn't want to go with them.
The only problem was Gina, Georgia's twin sister wanted to go to Japan so their parents has to make a choice. Georgia then thought that maybe she can live with one of their relatives here in America so that's how Josie got the chance to take care of her.
The first month was very hard since she really misses her family especially her sister. But after a few more days… Georgia began to return to her normal, playful self. She provided to be such a great distraction for Josie to take her mind of Sam Coulson. The only man she has ever loved.
"Josie? Josie?" Josie was startled out of her reverie when Georgia began to tug at her arm. "Yes, sweetie?" she asked. "You still going to the PTA Meeting next week?" Georgia inquired. "Of course I'll be there with bells on." Josie assured her. "Okay. I'll go back to sleep now." Georgia yawned. Josie nodded slowly and kissed her on the top of her head.
"Good night honey." She whispered. "Good night Josie." Georgia stood on her tiptoes and kissed her on the cheek. With that, she waved and walked into her room. Josie sighed as she trudged her way back to her own bedroom. She lied down on her bed and looked up the ceiling.
'It's been two years since I've had that nightmare… I thought that part of my life was over.' She thought as she rubbed her face. Sam… thinking about his name always makes her so happy and yet so sad. That day at the pitchers mound was definitely the most exciting part of her life.
There she was, knowing that Sam would come, no matter what, because she knows that he loves her… she can feel it when they were together at school, when she was still pretending to be a seventeen-year-old student. All the times that they were together were the happiest times of her life.
But he broke her heart by not showing up… till then, she buried the fact that she would ever find true love, coz she believes that Sam is the only one for her. That nobody can ever take his place in her heart. She felt a sob come up her throat. She swallowed it down, not letting the tears escape. 'Sam Coulson is not a part of my life anymore.' She thought determinedly. Closing her eyes, she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
* * * … "When you get to my age, guys will be lined up around the block for you." Sam said as his eyes met Josie's. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "You have to say that coz you're my teacher." Sam looked at her in surprise… knowing that what he said wasn't appropriate for their professional relationship.
"Actually I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher." He explained. He smiled at the look of surprise on her face. "Oh." Was all she said, blushing adorably. "Josie?" She turned her head towards me and smiled. "Yes, Mr. Coulson?" The Ferris wheel began to shake vigorously which made Sam's fear of heights rise up with a vengeance. "Whoa!" he exclaimed. Josie frowned and laid a hand on his arm.
"Don't worry. I wouldn't let you fall." She whispered. Sam met her eyes and smiled. "I love you Josie." He blurted out, not really having the strength to hold his feelings back anymore.
To his surprise, tears sprang to Josie's eyes which all fell in what seemed like a waterfall. "Josie, is something wrong?" he asked as he moved in closer to her to wrap his arms around her. "No. Nothing is wrong. It's just that I love you too Sam." She whispered against his chest. He ran his fingers through her silky blonde her and gently pushed her away from him. Slowly, he placed his lips against hers and kissed her softly…
"Sam? Sam! Wake up!" Sam slowly opened his eyes as the morning sunlight streamed through the blinds in the room. He rubbed his eyes and his surroundings slowly began to become clearer. "Damn!" he cursed under his breath. "Lara? What's the matter?" Lara Patton smiled at her husband.
"It's Monday. Time for you to take Rosalind to nursery school." She replied as she stood up and went to the mirror and started to fix her hair. "Oh yeah." Suddenly the door burst open, and like a ray of sunshine, their three-year-old daughter, Rosalind or Rosie, ran into the room and jumped to Sam's arms.
"Daddy! Daddy!" she squealed as she rained kisses on her father's face. "How is my little princess?" he cooed as he kissed his daughter. "I'm fine." She jumped off the bed and ran towards her mother. "Mommy! Good morning!" she laughed as she wrapped her arms around Lara's waist. "Good morning." Lara replied in a dull voice as she gently pried Rosalind's hands from her waist.
"Don't do that sweetie. You'll wrinkle mommy's suit." She explained as she walked towards the closet to pick out a blazer. "I'm sorry mommy. I forgot." the little girl whispered as she walked over to the bed and sat down. "Lara." Sam said in a low controlled voice, even though deep inside he was fuming. "What?" she asked and lifted her eyebrow.
He shook his head and shooed her away. "Whatever." She replied as she went out of the room. "Come here princess." He said softly. Rosalind turned around and Sam saw that his daughter was struggling to hold back the tears. "Aww…. Baby. Don't cry. Come to daddy." He whispered.
Rosalind nodded and slowly crawled over to him. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. "Mommy doesn't love me, doesn't she?" she asked as the tears started to flow. Sam's heart tightened with pain as his daughter cried.
"No princess. Mommy loves you. Very much." "But why doesn't she ever hug me… or kiss me?" she asked as she buried her face into his chest and started to cry in earnest. Sam held her tight and let her cry. He has an answer to that, but he doesn't want to say it.
=== FLASHBACK ===
Three years ago, Sam was supposed to go the pitcher's mound and kiss Josie. The love of his life. The woman that he believes was the one he should be spending the rest of his life with. On his way out of the door, he saw Lara standing there at the bottom of the stairs, waving a piece of paper.
She ordered him to read the paper and it turned out that she's three months pregnant with his child. He denied that the child was his, saying that he knew for a fact that Lara has extra curricular activities with other men. Lara disagreed and stood her ground, saying that the child is indeed his. He rebuked everything she said and tried to dodge her to get to the baseball field.
She blocked his way and said that if he would still go to Josie, she would have the child aborted. He looked at her shocked that she would resort to this. "Choose Sam! Will you come with me to New York marry me and have this child? Or do you choose to go to Josie and have me kill your child?"
After that, he knew that he has no choice. With a heavy heart, he turned around and went back to his apartment. He was about to call Josie that night before they went to the airport, but Lara stopped him from doing so. She said that he's not supposed to make any more contacts with Josie or she will kill his child. He never got the chance to explain everything to Josie. He left Chicago, knowing that he has broken Josie's heart and his, in the process.
The minute their plane landed at New York, he and Lara were wed in a civil ceremony so that the child wouldn't be illegitimate when he or she is born. He tried to push Josie out of his mind, but the months passed and she's still in his thoughts. In every blond woman he sees on the street, in every newspaper he sees, he sees the article that she wrote for him. He never knew what happened to her after that night at the pitcher's mound and he hoped with all his heart that she would forgive him when the chance comes that he can talk to her.
Lara's pregnancy was a difficult one, since she engaged in a lot of drinking and smoking before the child was conceived. That made her pregnancy a delicate one, and made her doctor order her to stay at home until the child was born. That made her lose her position at the top law firm in New York and despise the child that was growing in her womb. Nine months finally passed and the child was ready to come out to the world. It took Lara eighteen hours of labor to carry the child into the world.
As soon as Rosalind was born it was obvious that Lara doesn't want anything to do with her daughter. Sam was the one who named their daughter Rosalind in dedication to his favorite Shakespearean play, As You Like It, which will always remind him of Josie. Lara didn't know anything about this, so she didn't know what the name really means to Sam.
When the child was born, it was now obvious that she is Sam's child, even though he really didn't believe it at first, since she got Sam's bright hazel green eyes and the cleft on his chin… making the two inseparable from the very start. Sam poured all his love for his daughter… not really caring anymore if Lara was there for the two of them or not.
"Daddy? Is anything wrong?" Sam looked down and saw Rosalind smiling curiously at him. "Oh honey, nothing's wrong. Go on and get dressed so I can take you to school." He urged as he gently carried her down to the floor. "Okay Daddy." She answered and ran towards her room.
Sam smiled as he watched his daughter. He loves her so much. She's the only reason why he's still living with Lara, because he knows that if he even tried to leave her, she wouldn't let him have their child. He trudged to the bedroom and opened the radio on his way.
"Good morning New York! This is your deejay Moe and we're going to play a request right about now. Enjoy everybody!" Sam was shaving his head and he almost cut himself when the song started to play.
"Hey, what did you hear me say/You know the difference it makes/What did you hear me say/Yes, I said it's fine before/But I don't think so no more/I said it's fine before/I've changed my mind I take it back/Erase and rewind/'Cause I've been changing my mind/I've changed my mind…
It was the song that Josie and Guy Perkins danced to that night at the prom when she was crowned Prom queen. He squeezed his eyes shut as the images of Josie in her beautiful deep pink medieval dress flashed in his mind. She looks so beautiful then, dressed as Rosalind.
He sighed and returned to his shaving. Josie… she's still on his mind… and that will never ever change. He brushed his teeth and stepped out of the bathroom and started to dress up. He was stepping into his pants when Lara wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Sam…" she whispered. He tried to hold back the shiver of disgust that he's feeling and calmly replied, "Yeah?" He turned around and started to fix his tie. "Let me fix that." She said and she placed her hands on his tie. "You look great." She complimented, taking in his black pants and shirt, paired with a gray colored tie.
"Thanks." He answered, half smiling. "Sam… it's been such a long time since we…" "What?" "You know…" to emphasize her point, she started to unbutton her blouse. Sam shook his head. "Lara, not now. I have to take Rosalind to school and I have to get to the university." She pouted and moved away from him.
"Fine. Have a good day at work." She went out of the room and banged the door behind her. "You too." He said sarcastically. He looked at the mirror and fixed his hair. 'Lara's right. It's been such a long time since we had sex.' He thought. 'How can I make love to her when the only woman that I want to make love to is a thousand of miles away?' He rubbed his face, grabbed his keys and went out of the room.
* * * "Hey Josie!" Anita called out to her friend as she walked into the office. "Hey Anita!" Josie greeted as cheerfully as she can and walked up to give her friend a hug. When she pulled away, Josie rubbed Anita's rounded belly affectionately. "How is my goddaughter?" she asked.
"How do you know it's a girl?" Anita asked as she gingerly sat down on a couch. "I just know." Josie replied and smiled. "My baby kicked last night! Got Gus all excited." Anita told her excitedly. "That's so great to hear!" Josie exclaimed as she sat behind her table. Suddenly her door opened and in came her boss, friend, and Anita's husband, Gus Strauss.
"Gus! What are you doing here?" Josie asked. "I'm looking for Anita and I know that she's going to be here." He answered as he sat beside his wife, kissed her on the cheek and on her belly. Josie smiled tenderly as she watched the scene before her.
Anita was smiling at Gus and was running her hand through his hair and while he was resting his ear on his stomach listening to any sudden movements from his child. "Josie! Josie! Come here! It kicked! The baby kicked!" Gus exclaimed and Josie immediately stood up and placed a hand on Anita' tummy. She smiled as she felt it.
"Oh… this is so exciting." Josie said and watched as Gus' face lit up with every kick that the child did. "Why we're you looking for me, sweetheart?" Anita asked when the kicking stopped. "I was just worried that something might happen to you." He explained sweetly. "Gus… nothing will happen to me. I'm fine." "But today is the start of your ninth month. Something might…" he babbled.
"Gus… don't worry. You bought me a panic button remember? I'll be fine. Now go on, back to your work… I have to talk to Josie now." Anita answered, looking at Josie. "What? Why?" Josie asked, curious. "No offense Jos. But you look terrible." Anita said gently. Josie nodded and smiled sadly. "Yah I do." "Are you okay Jos?" Gus asked.
"I guess…" Josie trailed off, looking at Anita. "I get the hint. I'll see you ladies later, okay?" Gus stood up and kissed Anita before he went out. Anita patted the place beside her, gesturing for her to sit beside her. Josie sighed and rested her head on Anita's shoulder. "It's Sam, isn't it?" Josie nodded. "What happened?"
"I dreamt about him last night. It was the same, you know the nightmare… me waiting at the pitcher's mound… waiting for him… and then he didn't show up." "Josie, you should forget all about him. Move on." Anita advised. "Anita… you don't know how many times I've tried to forget about him. I'm not even sure if I still love him. It's just that, I've stopped thinking about him for the past two years… but last night, the dream came back, out of the blue. And that made me think about him again."
"Aww… sweetie. You should start dating you know." "Dating. Who knows what that is?" "Josie! You are such a great woman! You deserve to go out on dates… and not pin over a guy who has obviously forgotten about you… moved to New York and married…" Josie looked at her friend in surprise. "What moved to New York? Do you know something about Sam that I don't?"
"Oh god… I should have kept my mouth shut!" Anita groaned. "Anita… out with it!" "Okay, okay. I've learned that Sam went to New York that night of the baseball game and married Lara." Anita closed her eyes as she waited for the words of hurt that Josie would throw to her.
Instead, all she heard was whimpering. She opened her eyes and saw her friend crying. "Josie… please sweetie… don't cry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Josie shook her head and hugged Anita. Anita wrapped her arms around her friend and rubbed her back. "So, that's why he didn't come… because he married Lara. He didn't forgive me." She cried, her tears flowing freely.
"Shhh… everything will be okay. Just forget about him, okay? That's all you have to do." Josie nodded and pulled away. "Thanks for telling me. Even if it's three years late." Anita nodded. "Your more than welcome. That's what friends are for, right?" "Right." Josie hugged Anita again, vowing to herself that she will forget Sam once and for all.
* * * On Tuesday evening, Sam was fixing a salad when Lara burst into the apartment, her face obviously excited. "Sam! Sam! You wouldn't believe this!" She ran towards him and kissed him on the cheek, something that she hasn't done in a very long time. "What is it Lara?" he asked as he brought the salad to the table. He was the one who always fix dinner since his classes at the university ends at four in the afternoon.
"I've been offered the top position at the Chicago branch of our law firm!" she exclaimed as she took off her shoes and blazer and sat down for dinner. "Really?" he asked, hope beginning to fill his heart at the thoughts of Chicago and Josie flooded his senses.
"Yeah. Really! Can you believe it? I get to have a really big salary raise and they're the ones who are going to fix everything for me. The house we're going to live in, and the new car I'm going to be driving!" Sam barely nodded as all of this information started to fill his brain. Their going to live in Chicago, and he finally gets the chance to see Josie and tell her everything that has happened.
"Why are you being so quiet? Aren't you happy for me?" she pouted. He stood up and walked over to her and kissed her on the mouth. "I am so happy for you Lara! Why don't I wake Rosalind up so that we can all celebrate?" She nodded and he went into their daughter's room. "Rosalind, princess? Wake up baby." He whispered as he gently shook her shoulder. Rosalind slowly opened her eyes and smiled sleepily. "What is it daddy?" "Time for dinner princess. And mommy has great news." He explained as he carried her into his arms and brought her to the dinner table.
"Mommy!" she exclaimed and hugged her mother. For the first time, Lara responded and hugged her back, even placing a kiss on top of her head. 'Maybe it's because of her new promotion.' He mused as he took in the ecstatic expression on his daughter's face at the affection that her mom showed her. She ran to his side and planted herself on his lap.
"Mommy has a new job. We're going to Chicago next week." Lara explained as she helped herself to some salad. "Really mommy? That's great isn't it daddy?" Rosalind asked, looking up to him. He wrinkled his nose at her. "Yes it is sweetie. It's more than great actually… it's stupendous!" he avowed, smiling at his daughter.
Lara looked at him strangely. 'He's never been this excited for me before.' She thought, watching as Sam fixed their daughter a plate of food. The dinner was a quiet one, except for Rosalind telling them about her classmate who ate her pencil eraser.
"Daddy, I need a new eraser." Rosalind whined as she ate her salad. Sam nodded. "Yes baby. I'll buy you a new eraser. But this time, tell you friend that he can't eat this one, okay?" The little girl giggled and nodded. "Yes daddy." Sam laughed and stood up to start cleaning.
"Rosalind, sweetie?" Lara said, smiling. "Yes mommy?" "Can you please go to your room? Daddy and I have something to talk about." Rosalind looked at her daddy and nodded. "Yes mommy." With a wave she went to her room and Lara followed her to close the door. "What is it Lara?" he asked, smiling. "I know why you're happy about my promotion." She said.
"Of course you know. I'm happy because this is a big thing for you." He answered. "No. You're happy because you get to see Josie Geller." She replied, her eyes glinting angrily. Sam shrugged. "So what if that is the real reason? It's been three years Lara. It's time for me to explain everything to her."
"If I learn that you contacted Josie Geller, I'll divorce you and I'll get custody of Rosalind. And I swear to God Sam. I'll never let you see her for the rest of your life." She threatened. "You can't do that Lara. I owe it to Josie… I need to explain everything to her." "Just think about it." She huffed and went into the bedroom.
Sam closed his eyes. All the happiness he felt before started to go away. He placed the last of the dishes on the dishwasher and went to his daughter's room. "Daddy! Look at what I did!" she said, proudly showing off her drawing. Sam smiled and sat beside her.
He saw that she drew a blonde woman in a pink dress… immediately reminding him of Josie and prom night. He felt the pain shoot into his heart as he remembered Lara's threats. If he did talk to Josie, she would take away Rosalind… and he didn't know if he could handle that right now.