Title: Again

Chapter Eighteen: All at Once

Author: Jaycee

Note: This is the last chapter of the first part of AGAIN. If you're interested in reading the second part, please do review. Me posting the next part would depend on the number of reviews that I receive. Thank you for everyone that has continued to support me through all this time! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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"Daddy? Why are we moving back to New York?" Rosalind asked as she and her dad walked behind Lara towards the boarding area. Sam looked down to his daughter and smiled. Hoping that she wouldn't notice the tears that are clinging to his eyelashes.

"Mommy's got a new job. She needs to go back to New York to do her job." Sam answered. 'At least that's true.' He thought. "I'm going to miss Chicago daddy. Its really pretty here." Rosie said sadly, looking out the big window, looking back at Chicago. Sam turned his head, his vision filled with Josie.

His heart ached so much that he was surprised that he can even walk, let alone keep up a façade for his little daughter. His daughter. There right in front of him, was the reason that he's leaving her.

The love of his life.

Somehow, he knew that he's never going to be the same again. He had the taste of how life would be like with Josie in it. It was beautiful, bright and peaceful… everything that he hoped life with Lara would be. Now, its time to let it all go, and even if he didn't want to, he has to.

Taking one last look at the window, he went in the plane, leaving his life behind. Because that's how Josie is to him. He started living when she came into his life, and stopped when he left her. Finding her again, having her in his life made him alive and now, it stopped when he left her.

Its like a never ending cycle, but he doubted that it would repeat again. Nobody can be lucky three times in one lifetime right? He carried Rosie into his arms, knowing that as long as Rosie was with him, he can do anything, even leave Josie behind.

* * * "Come on! Move!" Josie shouted to the car in front of her. She was only a few yards away from the airport. "Damn!" She cursed as she bit her lip to keep herself from crying. A song on the radio caught her attention. She recognized the tune. It's by Whitney Houston. Tears filled her eyes as she took in the lyrics. Every word piercing her soul.

All at once,

I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that

Your not coming back

And it finally hit me all at once

All at once,

I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell

My eyes began to swell,

And all my dreams were shattered all at once

"Sam…" She whispered, imagining his wonderful green eyes, his loving crooked smile...

Ever since I met you

You're the only love I've known

And I can't forget you

Though I must face it all alone

All at once, I'm drifting on a lonely sea

Wishing you'd come back to me

And that's all that matters now

All at once, I'm drifting on a lonely sea

Holding on to memories

And it hurts me more than you know

So much more than it shows

All at once

She turned her car to the side of the road. Her thoughts, filling with the lovely times that they spent together.

All at once,

I looked around and found that you were with another love

In someone else's arms,

And all my dreams were shattered, all at once

All at once

The smile that used to greet me

Brightened someone else's day

She took your smile away

And left me with just memories, all at once

She remembered the many beautiful nights she spent with him. The even more beautiful mornings that she woke up with his arms around her, making her feel so safe and secure, as if nothing would ever hurt her as long as she's in his arms.

Ever since I met you

You're the only love I've known

And I can't forget you

Though I must face it all alone

All at once, I'm drifting on a lonely sea

Wishing you'd come back to me

And that's all that matters now

All at once, I'm drifting on a lonely sea

Holding on to memories

And it hurts me more than you know

So much more than it shows

All at once

It's over. If she ran after him in the airport, she knows that he still wouldn't choose her. Maybe even after she tells him that she's pregnant with his child, his love for his first child will still prevail. She can't bear to look in his eyes after she tells him his decision.

All at once, I'm drifting on a lonely sea

Wishing you'd come back to me

And it hurts me more than you know

So much more than it shows

All at once

Its better to just let him go. He'll be happy that she's pregnant, but where would that lead them? Will she still be the mistress, waiting for his calls? Or will she be the one in his house, waiting for him to come home to her after work? She closed her eyes and shook her head, her heart starting to break. She was feeling what she felt the first time that Sam left her. Complete and utter despair.

And that's all that matters now

All at once

I'm drifting on a lonely sea

Wishing you'd come back to me

And its hurts me more than you know

So much more than it shows all at once

If she did go through her plan tonight, after he makes his decision about her and the child in her tummy, she'll still be second best. That'll never change. Rosalind will still come first. She'll always come first. Josie doesn't think she can live with that knowledge her whole life. She turned her car around, taking one last look at the airport behind her.

A plane launched into the sky, and Josie knew for sure that that's the plane that Sam and his family are in. She blew a kiss its way. "I'll never love anyone as much as I love you Sam. I just hope that you'll be happy with your choice." She then placed a gentle hand on her stomach.

"It's just you and me, baby. Whatever happens, I'll never let you down. I'll be here with you forever and I promise that we'll get through all of this together. Just remember that I love you, okay baby?" She whispered as she slowly made her way back home. "Goodbye Sam." She breathed. A smile crept to her face, her hand still on her tummy.

"A little optimistic thinking and we'll both be fine, right baby?" Josie said out loud. "Let's go to your grandparents house!" She announced, her heart beating fast as she thought of how that confrontation would be like.

END OF PART ONE