Hello again people who randomly run into my stuff. So this is a just a quick one-shot for me to practice and have fun with some sassy Robin one liners. It's rates T due to a bit of blood that Robin always seems to lose. It's just supposed to be a humorous story compared to my other Young Justice work so sit back and enjoy :)
Thanks to BlazingRagnarok for Betaing it! yayayay correct spellin!
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!
Robin's eyes slowly peel open underneath his classic domino mask. He blinks several times to clear his thoughts before his training kicks in and he takes note of his current predicament. Due to the constriction he feels on his wrists, chest, and ankles he would guess he had been tied to a chair, probably with some kind of thick rope. One look proves his theory, the rope were so tight he could barely even wiggle his body from neck down. He also notices that his gloves, utility belt, and boots had been removed leaving him open and defenseless.
One more look around him reveals his surroundings to be the inside of some warehouse, and due to the strong, pungent aroma of bananas in the air, it was probably used for fruit packaging. At least it had been. Now all the crates and machines were covered with a thick layer of dust as if they had not been used for years.
He had obviously been kidnapped. There are several reactions that most people have once they've come to this conclusion, the most common ones being fear, worry, and panic. But there was only one thought running though the Boy Wonder's mind at this very moment.
Robin being kidnapped was not a new thing for him. In fact, out of every superhero and sidekick-check that-partner he knew, he was probably the one that was kidnapped the most. No one ever hears about Kid Flash being kidnapped, or Aqualad, or Speedy. But Robin had been being taken hostage since the first time he dawned the tights and took to the skies with the great Batman. It was really starting to get on his last nerve.
So here he was, tied to a chair for the billionth time, wondering which villain had the guts to challenge the Bat and kidnap the Robin this time around. He starts going through his mental checklist of baddies to see which one was the most likely caper. Joker? No, that was last week. Penguin? He didn't see any ice or penguins and the room wasn't nearly cold enough. Two-face? Well there was always a 50-50 chance it was him.
Before Robin could ponder it any further, his kidnapper decides to make himself known. Green lights start dancing on the walls of the warehouse as a booming voice yells out, "Hello there Robin, my esteemed guest of honor. I bet that by now you're wondering who I am. Well here's a clue. I'm the trickster of tricks, the quizzer of questions. What I leave behind can only be found by the most genius of guessers. Who am…"
But before the voice could finish, Robin spoke up saying, "Get out here Riddler, I known it's you."
The green lights stop flashing as out into the open strolls a man in a vivid green suit with a matching green bower hat. He walks with a cane topped with a question mark and he seemed quite peeved. "Don't be so rude boy. Let me finish my riddles before you start blabbing the answers," the man spat. "How'd you solve my riddle so fast anyhow?"
Robin rolled his eyes behind his mask before retorting, "Dude, it was a riddle. You're the Riddler. I've solved harder things off a cereal box."
The Riddler took a step back, clutching his chest like he had just been dealt the most heinous of insults. "How dare you insult me boy! Me, the Riddler, the smartest most devious man in all of Gotham City."
"Oh please!" Robin laughs, "You devious? You're the most clique of them all. There's always a clue stashed somewhere in your crime scene that leads us right to you."
"For your information, my clues can only be cracked by the most cunning of crusaders," Riddler snaps back, his face beginning to turn a bright shade of red.
"Um, partner of the world's greatest detective. Duh." Robin rolls his eyes again, ginning his signature smart-alec grin. "So why'd you kidnap me anyway?" Robin asks, beginning to look around the warehouse in a bored manner. "I mean come on, this really doesn't seem like you style at all."
By now, Riddler's face was tomato red. Clashing awkwardly with his suit, it was making him look more and more like an awkward Christmas ornament. "Kidnapping you was only part of my elaborate plan," he declares, trying to keep his cool by reminding himself that he was in control. The boy was tied up and helpless whilst he was towering above him. He had the power. He had the control.
"Oh please, enlighten me on your oh so amazing plan before I die of boredom," Robin says sardonically. Though he was the one tied up defenseless, in reality, he was the one in control. He knew that he just had to stall for time until Batman arrived to save him…again. He was really starting to get sick of the whole damsel in distress shtick.
"Oh, don't worry Boy Wonder," Riddler smirks, getting some of his old confidence back, "my plan will keep you on your toes until the very end."
Robin looks down at his feet before looking back up at the Riddler and retorting, "That's going to be kind of hard considering I'm tied sitting down to a chair."
Riddler narrows his eyes menacingly. "Always with the sass, Boy Wonder. Looks like I need to teach you a lesson in manners." Riddler then puts his hands behind his back and begins pacing back in forth in front of Robin's chair, slowly reciting,
What can fly through the sky, smooth as a bird,
dry in the air, but wet when it lands?
"Ooh, ooh, I got this one!" Robin exclaims in mock eagerness, earning himself another look of annoyance from the Riddler. "Let's see, it can fly and it's wet upon landing…A water balloon! No, Hawkwoman after a shower!"
"NO, NO, NO! It's a knife you imbecile!" Riddler yells angrily as he pulls a knife from the pocket of his coat and begins waving it in the air.
"Oh a knife! I get it," Robin says, tilting his head to one side quirkily. "But I still think my answers were better."
"That doesn't matter," Riddler groans loudly, still waving his knife in the air. "The answer was knife. Just let me prove it to you." With that, Riddler throws the knife straight at Robin before the Boy Wonder even sees it coming. The knife impales itself into Robin's left shoulder, only inches from his heart. Robin winces at the knife's impact as crimson blood starts leaking out from the wound and begins dripping slowly down his body, blending in with his costume below.
"See what I mean Boy Wonder?" Riddler smirks as he strolls toward his captive. "Didn't it have a beautiful flight? And, look, you've seemed to have gotten it all wet." Riddler grabs the handle of the knife sticking out of Robin's shoulder and gives it a harsh twist, forcing Robin to grit his teeth to keep from groaning in pain. Riddler then levels his mouth right next to Robin's ear and whispers, "Got any sassy comebacks to that, boy?"
Robin turns his head until he's face to face with the Riddler. He eyes screwed up in pain, he takes in a deep breath and…spits straight into the Riddler's eye.
"AHHHHHHHH!" Riddler screams as he stumbled back, clutching his eyes. When he looks back up at Robin with his good eye, the look of pain had immediately left the boy's face. In its place is a triumphant smirk.
"First off Riddler, you're not scary in the least. Trust me, I work with the Dark Knight, I know what scary is. Second, you're a total copycat. Kidnapping me and then sticking a knife in me? Pretty sure Joker just did that last week. Try again when you think up something original. And lastly, I suggest looking behind you." Robin ended his speech with a victorious smile on his face as Riddler turns around just for his face to turn right into the fist of Batman himself. Riddler's body smashes into the ground as Batman strolls right by him and begins untying his young ward.
"About time you showed up Batman," Robin says, exhaustion seeping into his normally cocky voice. He was glad his mentor had showed up when he did. He didn't know how much longer he could have kept the Riddler busy.
"You did well Robin. Now be brave just a bit longer for me," Batman says as gently as he can, slowly pulling Riddler's knife from Robin's bleeding shoulder. Robin winces painfully as it comes out, but Batman quickly wraps the wound in gauze and Robin's face relaxes.
Batman then turns his attention back to the Riddler who was slowly trying to pick himself up from the floor. "Now what to do with you…" Batman growls, looking down on the pitiful looking man.
"Cuff me, lock me back up in Arkham, I don't care as long as you get me away from him!" Riddler whimpers, pointing a shaking finger as the Robin.
A pair of handcuffs and one call to Gordon late and Riddler is finally on his way back to his comfy, padded cell in Arkham. Batman then turns to his prodigy, picks him up in his arms, and begins carrying him back to the Batmobile. On the way, he looks down at the boy in his arms, cocks an eyes brow and asks, "So you going to tell me what that was all about?"
Robin stifles a yawn before replying, "I don't know what his problem was. Maybe he just wasn't feeling the aster." The young vigilantly then falls asleep in his savior's arms, a proud smirk still visible on his face.
So what yah think Doc? I really do enjoy comments...they make me happy...plus it's my birthday today (On July 6th when I was writing this).