So... hey dudes. I'm back with a Twilight story and i hope you all like it, its kind of like my old one about Rob and Kristen, but yeah, it's different. And i hope you like it, i suffer from depression, self harm and i suffer with two eating disorders called Anorexia and Bulimia , so all of this in this story about the self harm and the eating disorder is from real life and how i see myself sometimes. Enjoy. (I'm on hiatus with Where It Is, i am struggling with ideas)


Plot: Bella get's sent to Forks, to live with her dad and her brother Emmett after her mother say's she's too 'moody' little does she know Bella is suffering, depression, an eating disorder and self harm. Nobody know's about what she is doing to herself, except one person, she hopped, she would never see again. But hope wasn't on her side


Chapter 1: BPOV

My mom is shouting at me up the stairs "Isabella, come down here, we need to talk" I sigh and quickly hide my razors. I was planning on cutting until she cut-blocked me. I pull my sleeves down on my t-shirt and head downstairs and into the lounge, where my mom and step dad are sitting. I shuffle towards the couch and sit down. I am extremely nervous, i hope my mom hasn't found out about what is going on in my life. She smiles at me then starts "Bella, this is a real hard thing for me to do, but you are very moody lately and you haven't been talking to me and having fun me like we used to and quite frankly, i'm getting slightly depressed at the thought that you don't like me anymore..." i cut her off "Mom, i do like you, of course i do, i'm just feeling a bit under the weather" she raises her eyebrows "Bella, you've been different for months" I sigh and then she says "Your moving to Forks" my mouth drops.


So, now here I am, in rainy, cold Forks, Washington. I am quite happy in a way to be here because it means, I can wear long sleeves and jackets and not get asked "Are you not boiling" or "Your're weird". So i guess you are wondering a lot about me. My name is Isabella Swan, but i prefer Bella. I am 17 years old and I used to live in Phoenix, Arizona but my mom moved me. Oh and i suffer with, two eating disorders, depression and self harm but nobody knows. I used to live in Forks when i was a kid but my mom and dad broke up when i was 4 and she took me with her and left my big brother Emmett with my dad. I haven't seen them in about 3 and a half years. I have been suffering with self harm and depression since i was 9 years old, and i've always thought i was fat but when i was older about 13 in Biology, i learnt what eating disorders were and then i decided it would be the quickest way to lose weight. I got bullied from the age of 7 until i was 17 and moved here.

I paid for my cab as it dropped me off outside my dads house. My father is chief of police, and is a very busy man. His house looks very plain on the outside. It's pure white and has small garage and a big ass tree on the outside. My dads door shot open and before i knew what was happening my brother had me off my feet and in a tight bear hug "Jesus Bells, i've missed you so much" i snuggle into his neck "I've missed you too brother bear" he puts me down and grins at me "Wow, you haven't gotten any taller have you?" i slap him, with the little strength i have "Of course, i've grown, you just need your eyes testing" he lets out a booming laugh and grabs my luggage from the trunk "I'm really sorry i didn't pick you up, i have only just gotten home myself and Dad is working, they wouldn't let him leave, he had a big job to do" i shake my head "It's fine honestly" he smiles, grabs my hand and leads me into my home.

As i step inside the house, all the memories come flooding back to me, when i was younger, the arguments, me leaning against my bedroom door, when i was older the laughs and the jokes. I looked into the lounge seeing it looking the same; my dad's leather recliner, and his big flat screen TV. I looked around, smiling softly, but then i was brought out of it by Emmett saying "Do you want some food, we could go to the diner?" i stop for a second, but then i remember 'i'm fat, i don't deserve to eat' and reply "No, i ate on the plane and in the airport before i left" he nods "Well, i'll make some dinner and if you want some later, i'll leave left overs in the fridge" i gulped and nodded "Okay, thank you; i'm going to take my stuff up to my room" he nods but then spins around "Before i forget, do you want to meet my girlfriend and friends tomorrow, were going cinema and for food after?" i nod "Er, yeah sure; you've told me a lot about her, i'd love to meet her" he grins and starts preparing food.

For the rest of my night i stayed in my room and unpacked my belongings. I hid my dieting pills, my old razors, my mini first aid kit, a pack of new razors and my cigarettes in my top draw, underneath my socks and panties. Emmett came in a few times, just to check how i was but i said i was 'fine'. I had to remember to by scales tomorrow, i couldn't bring mine with me. I need to know how much i weigh right now. I went to bed, before my dad came home, so i haven't gotten to see him, but i will tomorrow


I woke up the next morning and walked into my bathroom and got into the shower. The shower is the one place that i can think freely and say stuff out loud and not paranoid that someone will hear me. I'm very nervous about starting school on Monday, it's going to be a panicky day for me. Just thinking about the amount of people that are in one school and i just thinking that, this isn't a new start and as soon as i step foot in that school the bullying will start again. I just can't go through two more years of being bullied until the point that i want to take my own life, which i have thought on many occasions.

I get out of the shower, quickly brush my teeth and dry myself. I look at myself in the mirror. I love seeing my collerbones and ribs sticking out. I still have a bit of meat left on my legs, which has to go, because it's fat and i'm fat, i know i am. I head back into my bedroom and pull out some clothes to wear. I chose a plain black lace bra, matching panties, a pair of Topshop black jeans, a white tank top and my Topshop, fluffy jumper. I pull my hair into a messy bun and apply my concealer, eyeliner and mascara. I put a pair of white polka dot socks on and head downstairs.

I head into the living room first to see Emmett playing on his Xbox. I sit down next to him and he pauses his game "Hey squirt, you okay?" i smile and nod "I'm fine, how are you?" he grins "I'm perfect, finally got my little sister back" i laugh "Er, where's Dad?" he nods to the stairs "Still in bed, he should be up in about an hour, tops" i nodded and sat down on the couch "I've missed doing this Em, just being able to sit with you and be comfortable" he smiled "I've missed it too short stuff" i smiled and watched Emmett play his game.


Emmett was right and Dad was up in an hour. As soon as he saw me, he pulled me into one of the best hugs i have ever received. I felt the tears, prick my eyes as i pulled away. He looked at me "My god, how I've missed your hugs" i smiled and he pulled me into the kitchen. We talked for a little while, about different and pointless things, it was nice though. He looked at me up and down "Wow Bells, my baby girl is all grown up now, i still can't believe your here" i smiled "Me neither" his mustache twitched "I don't think I've ever seen you this skinny though, you look so small; I've never seen you like this" my eyes widened and i came up with an excuse "Well... I've always been skinny, maybe it's because you haven't seen me i a while" he shook his head "Maybe, but you look different; anyway Emmett told me, your going to meet his girlfriend and friends tonight" i nodded "Yeah, can't wait to meet her, Emmett talks about her all the time" he smiles "She's a lovely girl, put's your brother in line a lot, i have to be honest looks like a model" i laugh "Well i'm glad she doesn't let Emmett be the beast he is" he laughed and hugged me again "You don't know how much I've missed you, baby girl" i feel tears spring to my eyes "I've missed you too, Daddy, so much" he pulls back and kisses me on the forehead.


The rest of my afternoon went okay. I made breakfast for my dad and brother and made a piece of toast for myself, but it came back up on me, i played Call of Duty with Emmett, did some Laundry and went to the shop for some milk and eggs, cause i used them all. I read a book for a couple hours then i heard Emmett shout "Bells, were going in 20 mins" FUCK, i needed to get changed. I quickly changed into a white racer tank top, dark blue jeans, a black cardigan, my leather jacket and a pair of black ballet flats. I pull my hair out of its ponytail, and twist my side fringe into a twist and pin it to the side of my head. I look hideous as always, "yeah, you look awful, your brother is only feeling sorry for you, he doesn't even want you there, nobody want's you here" the voice in my head, spits venom into my soul and i knew it was true. I put on some make up and my fake smile for the night and walked downstairs.

"Woo, little sister, you are looking smoking tonight!" he's lying i know he is, i'm not pretty, i'm far from it, but i just smile "Thanks big bro, are we ready to go then?" he nodded and shouted "Bye Dad, we'll be back around 11" my dad shouted "Get your ass back here for curfew or you can forget about driving that new car on Monday" he shouted goodbye and then we left. My mouth dropped, and i stood gawking at Emmett's car like a goldfish "How... how in the world am i supposed to get into that?" he laughed "I'll help you up". Emmett's car was a big HUGE Jeep and believe me, it's huge. Especially for me, i'm only 5ft2 and that's when i'm not slouching.

The drive to Port Angeles was long. I felt nervous, i get extremely anxious when i meet new people or if a person that i don't know touches me. It usually ends up with me, having a panic attack. I can't stand it if somebody touches me, it makes me feel like i'm somebody i don't know and that i feel like i'm going to be grabbed. I have really bad paranoia and its got to the point, where if somebody is on the phone or talking to a person, i automatically think it's about me. I kept myself occupied in the car, talking to Emmett about his football, and Rose.

We eventually got to the restaurant, it was called Bella Italia. Which means Beautiful Italy, in Italian. I hopped out of the Jeep, i was safely out the car and managed to trip on thin air, i held my hands out and waited for the blow to come, and waited for the fulfilled pain but it never came. I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me and when i turned and looked i saw Emmett and thanked the gods that he was quick and somebody else, hadn't caught me. After my little 'almost' fall, we headed into the restaurant and my nightmare started.

We headed into the crowded restaurant and the women looked at Emmett, blushed and asked "Excuse me, do you have a reservation?" he nodded "I'm with the Cullen clan" she nodded and gave me a once over "Right this way" I could tell, that she was trying to impress Emmett; her hips were swaying almost as fast as a fucking car and her ass was stuck out, trying to make it look bigger. I saw our table come into view and saw 3 people sitting around it. Once reached it, the blonde girl immediately stood up "Hey, baby" Emmett pulled her into a hug and kissed her; so i'm assuming that's his girlfriend. She pulled back and looked at me "Hi, you must be Bella?" i nodded "Yeah, that's me" she smiled and then shocked me by pulling me into a hug "Thank you" i pulled away and cocked an eyebrow and she winked.

I then met, Alice and Jasper, who were also together. Once we sat down, Emmett asked "So... where's Edward?" Alice sighed "He and Lauren had plans, and the idiot told her that, he was coming for a meal, so he went a picked her up, and he should be on his way... with the bimbo" i intruded "Who's Edward?" Jasper replied "Alice's big brother and Emmett's best friend and the hottie of Forks High" i nodded and then Alice pipped in "Speak of the devil. I turned around and was shocked to see who it was "Edward?". My life was so ruined.


That was just a teaser, chapters will be a lot longer and more fulfilling, and sorry for the cliff-hanger. I hope you enjoyed it. I post on Monday's or Sundays. PLEASE review and put me in your alerts- Ghee x