Today is Friday, August 17th. I woke up this morning and…dios mio, I'm fading. My little brother…who I've developed some stupid feelings for, has an all-day meeting, and I don't know if I'll be around by the time he gets back. So, I'm going to leave this on the bed and tell him everything I feel for him.
Hey, fratello, I love you. You always manage to make me realize there's something worth living for. And now that I know…soon I won't be living, I can go smiling. Thank you so much. Your sweet smile, bright eyes, and warm heart have to be the reasons I've stayed this long. Fate was trying to inform me of my soulmate. And it's the man I shared a great, beautiful nation with.
So, Feliciano, I'm trying to tell you that no matter what, you read close and keep this at heart, I never, EVER stopped loving you. I may be a pain in the ass at times, but I do…100 percent, absolutely love you. You've made my life worth living, and I hope deep in my heart that you love me too. Not as a brother, as what I believe we are: soulmates. You know?
But then again I don't. I mean, you fell in love with HRE and he's gone. I don't want your heart broken /again/. So, don't fall for me. Don't mourn, and sure as hell don't push people away again. You're too good for that, too good for me. So, hug the people you love, and make sure they know that you care about them. I'm sure they care about you, since, you know, you've given everyone around you a hundred reasons to. Hug the Austrian, and the Hungarian woman. Hug the tomato bastard (For me too, since I won't see him again), and the Dutch and…hug Belgium extra tight for me. Hug Japan, and Prussia, and DIOS I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M-A SAYING THIS…hug the German Potato Bastard. I'll have to wash my hands, and my mouth since I'm saying this out loud as I read, before I…go.
You are an amazing person Feliciano, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We clear? I may have been mean to you in the past but you are my brother, and my best friend. I owe you apologies, and hugs, and love, and tears-which you're getting right now, and a better goodbye, but I can't promise anything. So you're getting my diary. Read every page, and I mean only you. Cherish it because this book contains everything I bottle up. Do not let anyone else ever read it, please. And don't tell anyone about what you read. Not your best friend, not your enemy…no one. This is only met for you.
My legs are almost clear now, they are just like ghosts, there but not there. I'm turning into one, and I'm not afraid anymore. Please don't fear Fratello. I'll always be there for you, even if you can't see me. I'll be right beside you, helping you, watching you, and smiling the entire time because I've never been so proud of anyone in my life. And now, some important things for you to remember:
I have NEVER given up on you, and I never will.
You are stronger than you think, I don't care what anyone says.
Do not give up…for me.
Love the people around you because you never know what will happen.
I love you.
Don't love me back. It's not worth it.
Look to the stars if you miss me!
You deserve an eternity with someone.
Grandpa and I are watching and we are not and have never been disappointed.
Saying it again: I. LOVE. YOU.
I'm not coming back. AND LASTLY BUT MOST PRACTICALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT:
You deserve better.
I send all my love, my heart, and now my soul. I probably won't be here when you return home. Goodbye fratello…Goodbye amore.
Goodbye, my Darling Feliciano.
(PS. Can someone tell Canada, or Matthew, that I'm sorry he gets treated like he's invisible. It's a scary thing.)
The pages were dotted with tears, and became wetter as Feliciano cried over the leather-bound book. "Fratello, Lovino…I love you too. I-I don't know what to do!" He stood and placed the book on a shelf beside a picture of him and his brother. His…soul mate. He cried and cried, and a very faint pair of arms wrapped around his chest, someone's chest to his back and their head on his shoulder, "I love you too, Feli. And I'm-a sorry. So, so sorry." Feliciano was quick to turn around, but he was too late.
No one was there.