"Loneliness"

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of That 70's Show. That 70's Show is owned by Carsey Werner Productions.


Fez's POV

My heart was weakened.

That's all it was in this world. Nothing but a weakened heart.

My destiny in life was to live the American Dream and to live like everyday Americans. You know, working hard to put food on the table, doing housework to build character, and to have fun like a normal teenager would ever have.

I met very good friends during my personal visit to America. There was Eric, who looked a little sturdy and a little geeky. Not to mention he had a little crush on Donna. I knew deep down that he loved her. They were truly a match to be made. Then I met Kelso, who was nothing more than an idiot. He wouldn't know how to nearly kill himself with a just a rubber band and a firecracker. The next guy I met was Hyde, who was perhaps the most coolest guy I ever met. He was cooler than chocolate fudge brownie dipped in chocolate sauce. He had a nice stash of weed too. We smoked all the way to the end, which of course, the 'end' was in the form of Red Forman catching us in the act. That was like a kick in the balls.

I had somebody else, but I decided to save her for the best of last. First, I wanna talk about my love life. The ones that I had before 'her'.

My first love was Caroline. I could always remember that gorgeous eyes, that blonde curly hair and not to mention those reddish lips. The kind of lips that if you kissed them, you would be knocked out on your ass in a second. How I loved that sweet ass of hers...

But little did people know that she had a dark side. This dark side of hers was very suicidal, very psychotic and very dangers. And to believe that I actually bought that sweet side of hers to begin with. The memories with her was exactly the kind of memories I wanted to forget. The memory I really wanted to forget from all of this was the moment that if I ever left her, she'd kill me. But thanks to help from Donna, I managed to break ties with her like a man. I was proud of what I did. But Caroline promised that she would be watching every move I make and every breath I take. I was scared for my life.

After Caroline, I moved on to Big Rhonda. Me and her met each other after we had a little party that involved the rest of us trying to get Hyde a woman. I was so hammered that Red had to carry me. I have to admit... despite his feeling towards me, he's got a good heart. I respect that in him. I always liked how Big Rhonda's glasses looked. It was the shape of freakingly huge bottlecaps, but she had the most beautiful specs of them all. They were so shiny that I could even see my reflection from where I stand at.

I even remember the moment that Rhonda had her makeover. She was transformed from a nerd into a Farrah Fawcett lookalike. At first, I thought I would be amazed from the first sight of her, but after the job that Donna and Jackie did to her, I was furious as a bull should be. I liked Rhonda the way she was: Just a big nerd with a big heart. Unfortunately, we broke up because I tried to go home base after a sip of my grape soda. That was the hugest mistake that I ever made. I felt like me and Rhonda actually made a connection. It hurt me so much in my heart that it took me an entire week to get over her.

And I did.

Around the time, I decided to get a job at the Department of Motor Vehicles where I met my third love Nina. I loved how classy and sweet she was. She always had a lot to speak what's on her mind. At first, she saw me as a creepy pervert who likes to spy on other cute girls, but on the inside, Nina saw me as a caring individual. Sure, she didn't like the fact that we were sharing public displays of affection, but she still had a way of making me happy.

We hit it off real well, which would explain the next moment I had with her.

That was the moment that I lost my virginity with her. It was so memorable, and yet it felt a little horrible the first time. It was so dark, I was either kissing the top of her nose or perhaps her knee. Either way, it was weird. But second time was the charm. Talk about making up for last time. Her parents hated my guts, however. They couldn't see the relationship between me and Nina happening because they thought I was different. And I told them that the reason they didn't like me was the fact that I was 'not white'. That was total bullshit and total racism in my part.

For revenge, me and Nina decided to have sex on their bed because they were jerks who didn't know an ass for a hole in the ground. Served them right.

Unfortunately, the relationship soon went nowhere and Nina decided to break it off with me because I was too needy. I decided that it was time for a huge persona change. I wanted to be serious and act all rough and tough, trying to make Nina act like she didn't want me. And I had to say, it worked off quite a hitch. But it wasn't meant to last. Even after she wanted me back, I dissed her off and went back to being single.

To me, it was the greatest thing I ever thought of.

The next girl that ever came on my mind was Eric's slutty sister, Laurie. She was a major bitch, but it was a bitch that I actually liked. At one point, she decided to come back to town so that she could see her family again. Right around the same time, I was facing deportation. I was scared to go back to my homeland because I actually liked living here in America. I would miss Eric, Donna, Hyde, Kelso, and sweet, beautiful Jackie. I needed to find a way to stay here in America and remain with my friends in the states.

So the only smart thing I did was marrying Eric's sister in order to prevent deportation. Unfortunately for Red, he ended up suffering a heart attack. I felt bad for causing him too much pain so I decided to get Red a balloon just to cheer him up by the time he was discharged from the hospital. I remember the time that a social worker came to visit to check if I was legally married in this state. Red had a reason to send me back to my homeland, but persuading him that I loved her daughter and Red as a father, he had no choice but to change his mind at the last second. I was happy for Red that he did the right thing by keeping me here in America. I never want to leave this great place.

Unfortunately, the marriage between Laurie and me didn't last. From what I heard, she cheated on me with somebody else during a vacation with Cancun. I didn't go. I was stuck here in America just like my friends. The fights between me and Laurie were so intense that I wanted out. Sure, it was a blessing on the other hand, but it proved to be a wrongful undoing knowing Laurie would cheat on me behind my back.

Being single took its toll on me, so I decided to get myself a job, just to clear my mind out of this mess once and for all.

I managed to go inside a beauty shop and apply for the job as a shampoo boy. From there, I met Hilary. She looked a little bit like my other girlfriend Nina, except she was more down-to-earth. But unfortunately, that passed on very quickly. It was nothing but a quick fling. I thought it was very fun trying to get in the sack with her, but it was nothing but a waste of time.

And then, I go to the end of my love story.

I'm talking about Jackie Burkhart. Every time I saw her, I felt like my world was slowing down. It slowed down because of everything that was beautiful about her in the first place. Her face, those lips, perfect brunette hair, sweet personality and a smile that lit up my day. Even though Jackie was a little bit bossy, I knew on the inside that she was sweeter than candy. Those memories with her were the ones I didn't want to forget.

The moment when she was cold and I had to take my jacket just to warm her up.

The moment that I took Jackie out to dinner in attempts to get over her break-up with Kelso.

The moment that we posed as a married couple just so that Jackie could pose as Donna.

The moment that we had our first kiss at the movie theater. Kelso might have punched me, but it was still worth it.

The moment I comforted her when she and Kelso had that little fight leading up to the beauty pageant.

But the only thing I want to remember from her was the moment she confessed her feelings to me. That was the only thing I wanted from America. A chance to find love. Jackie's love for me found a place in my heart that I didn't even know was there. My decision to be a one woman man was the best move I made so far, and it worked like a hitch. Jackie Burkhart was all mine.

Our life was going great as well. I took her to romantic dinners among the balconies of French restaurants, I always bought her jewelry for special romantic occasions, and even once, I proposed to her on a cruise ship.

The best part of it all was the fact that Jackie said 'Yes'. As I hugged her, we saw fireworks blast from the sky. I was about to reach my destiny with her and nothing was gonna stop me.

Except for one fateful afternoon...

It all happened in the day at my bachelor party. While Donna and Kitty were out partying with Jackie, me and the guys decided to have a stripper that my good friend Hyde hired come to our house and put on a party for me. The stripper, who was blacker than me and had cornrows similar to Bo Derek bump and grind me to the point that my heart couldn't take. My animal urges couldn't take it anymore to the point that I had to have her. Maybe Jackie wouldn't find out.

So I took the hot stripper to my room as we did a lot more than made out. The clothes were off and we were rumbling around in the bed sheets in a naked frenzy. I couldn't control the fact that the old me was back. And it proved to be a guillotine in the head.

Jackie suddenly came home early due to the fact that Donna slipped on a banana peel and had the wind knocked out of her. Nothing but a minor concussion. At least she would still attend the wedding. But no way in hell was it happening.

After Eric, Kelso and Hyde tried to distract her, Jackie suddenly opened the door...

...to catch me and the naked stripper who was on top of my lap. Jackie was shocked. My animal urges cost me big time.

I tried to reason with her the best way that I can. What really happened was the stripper drugged me with some kind of weird ecstacy, and it forced my body to bring out the sexual beast inside of me. My story was actually true, but Jackie didn't buy it.

She didn't yell or snap at me. The only response she gave me was this:

She threw the wedding ring down to the floor and instantly moved out. Jackie also called off our engagement and broke up with me the day before we were about to be husband and wife.

I was shocked myself. One stupid little mistake I made on our bachelor party cost me my relationship with Jackie. She never forgave me or apologized to me. It was clear that Jackie never saw me again.

The aftermath to that horrendous situation would have horrible consequences.

It all happened seven weeks ago with me sitting on my bed alone. I was drinking large amounts of beer just to forget all about that fight that I had with Jackie. I looked very unattractive as well. My sexy foreign body was replaced by a huge beer belly and huge thunder thighs. I looked like holy hell coughing up hairballs at a rapid pace.

My hair was balding, I smelled like a dumpster, and I grew an unmanly five o'clock shadow. My friends, including Hyde, were concerned for my safety. I told them to fuck off and to tell them the fact that it was none of their business. I told them I could handle it myself. My friends failed to reach out to me.

I even got help from my host parents, The Erdman's. They apologized to me for kicking me out of their house, indicating that I grew up. They told me I can stay at their house until I get back up on my feet again, but I never forgave them. And I didn't want to. I backed away from them just so I can get my peace and quiet all to myself.

My life without Jackie was a mess. She had already gotten back together with Hyde and Kelso and Brooke decided to be married while raising their baby daughter Betsy. Eric and Donna also got married and moved to a nice place among the suburbs of Chicago. I would've gone with Caroline, but she was sent to a mental hospital where she died of a heart attack after too much stress and for the fact that she had diabetes due to her being overweight. I'm glad my relationship was over with her before she could ever try to kill me.

This sucked. Everyone found love except me. Was I destined to live a life of loneliness, a life of despair, a life of heartbreak? The answer was yes.

And it was to the point that I couldn't live with myself anymore.

As a result, I found a razor blade close to my bedstand were I kept all the stash that Hyde gave to me on a special occasion.

Without thinking, I carefully slit my wrists one at a time to the point that it wouldn't be functional to use them anymore. I didn't scream, but I cried silently as the blood slowly dripped from my forearms. Knowing that these final hours would be my last hours on earth, I smiled to myself, knowing I found the sweet freedom of death waiting for me.

That was it. My heartbeat stopped and I died with a smile. That smile represented everything that I was happy about, only to have it end in a tragic conclusion. I shed a tear as I laid comatose with no one trying to revive me.

The only one who happened to find my body was Jackie.

Apparently, everyone told her that Fez was lonely without her. And even though that Jackie couldn't forgive me, she found it in her heart to give closure one last time before something bad happened to me. But it was too late.

After she saw my body, Jackie rushed to my bedside and cried in tears. She cried because even though I accidentally hurt her, Jackie was hurting herself. She hurt herself because she caused me to act like an angry drunk. Worst of all, she could have believed the story from my bachelor party was true.

If she could have believed me in the first place, then we would have pushed the wedding farther until we could find a way to sort this out. Maybe go to a counselor to work out our personal problems and start slow from there. Sure, it would be a long time to finally settle this and get married, but at least I would've had my dream. But I didn't.

It was all taken away from me, and never to return. I was dead and Jackie never had the chance to forgive me. She cried all night while I was nothing more than a mere shadow of myself. A shadow that was burning full of darkness inside. The kind of darkness I was forced to live in.

It would've been a good day if Jackie and me we're still together, but it wasn't. This was the end of my life's little journey. And it didn't end happily ever after.


Wow. I really felt bad for Fez in this fic. I really do.

It sucks that there's not many stories of Fez/Jackie, since many stories are mostly about Hyde/Jackie (which I do not support, no offense.) I wish there would be more stories of Fez/Jackie, they don't deserve much love in fanfics. Until then, R&R.