Disclaimer: Still don't own Hey Arnold!, but I do own this fiction. Don't plagiarize or sue me, but by all means…enjoy this spooky tale of mischief. We all wear masks, Helga's is just glued on a little tighter than most peoples. ^_~ This is my Halloween treat to all Hey Arnold! fans. (And my birthday present to me, cuz I'm a Halloween baby, *howls*.)

Halloween Howls

Monster Mash/Halloween Bash

"And remember class…the big Halloween dance is in just one week!" Mr. Simmons spoke enthusiastically to his fourth grade class. "I've made a list of very special assignments for each of you and I'm sure that you'll all work together as a tribe to make this dance a big success!"

"The man needs to lower his intake of caffeine." Helga muttered, leaning forward on her hand.

"Tell me about it." Rhonda agreed.

There was a soft knock and then the door swung open revealing a little red headed girl with braids and a pale green dress. "Oh great," Helga grumbled, "here's Miss Perfect to grace us with her presence."

The other girls around Helga snickered but Helga's attention was on Arnold. He sat up in the front row gazing dreamily at Lila as she stepped into the room.

"Oh hello Mr. Simmons," she began in a sickly sweet voice, "I'm just oh so sorry that I'm late today but I was helping this dear little old lady cross the street and then I had to return a little lost puppy to it's owner."

Helga made a move to shove a finger down her throat, the other girls made gagging sounds too. Lila always seemed to be showing them up with her acts of kindness and perfect feminine nature.

Frankly, they were all just sick of her. The guys on the other hand, well…

"Miss Lila sure is a caring person. Why, she's pretty as a picture too." Stinky swooned.

"Yeah, I can't wait to ask her to the Halloween dance." Sid sighed.

Not if I ask her first. Arnold thought with a grin. Gazing at Lila he couldn't help but feel all goofy inside. She was just--well--perfect!

Helga glared at Lila, she seemed to know EXACTLY what Arnold was thinking about her. I wouldn't count on Arnold asking you to the dance Miss Perfect. As long as I'm around he won't have a chance in h-


"Huh? What?" Helga nearly jumped out of her seat.

"Helga," Mr. Simmons continued, "you and Phoebe will be in charge of the music act this time."

"Good luck," Arnold turned and smiled back at her, "That's no easy job."

Helga knew he was speaking from experience, "Don't worry your football shaped head over me bucko, I can do a lot better than that washed up old has been Dino Spumoni."

"Whatever you say Helga," he turned back around.

Now that everyone's attention was off her she opened her math book and gazed at the makeshift Arnold doll that was laying inside. She really had no clue of what she would tell the school about the huge whole in her book when the end of the year came. Oh well, she'd cross that bridge when she got to it.

"Oh Arnold!" she began dreamily. "How I long to be the one in your arms on Halloween night. I would do anything to be your treat, even pull a low down trick on that goody goody Lila." a snarl interrupted her swooning expression, "I can't figure out what he sees in her. Miss Perfect just isn't his type…okay so maybe she is…but she said she didn't like him like him so he should wise up and see there are lots of other fish in the sea. Like me!"

Brainy's breath could be felt against the back of her neck. She could hear his rasping breathing, it made her hairs stand on end. Spinning around with Old Betsy leading the way she shouted, "How the heck do you always manage to do that?!"

Brainy hit the floor and looked up at her from behind his broken glasses, "Uh…sorry."

"Helga, Brainy, is there something wrong?" Mr. Simmons asked.

"No Mr. Simmons." they answered in unison, Brainy returning to his seat.

"Very well, now where was I? Oh yes, Sheena and Eugene will be in charge of decorations."

"There's an accident waiting to happen," Helga snickered.

"Sid and Stinky will take pictures for the yearbook."

"Sid with a camera, talk about capturing embarrassing moments." Helga continued to tease.

"Rhonda and Nadine will be in charge of getting adults to judge the costume contest."

"The Princess and self-elected queen of fashion along with her little lackey off to bribe judges, now there's a surprise." Helga was on a roll.

"Harold and Patty will be in charge of food and refreshments."

"I guess that means we all have to eat BEFORE we come." Helga said in a low tone to avoid another beating in the broom closet by Big Patty.

"And that just leaves Arnold and Gerald…" Mr. Simmons was finally at the bottom of the list. "You boys will handle the clean up."

"Oh great." Gerald moaned, "Janitorial duty."

"It's not so bad Gerald." Arnold said optimistically.

"Yeah Tall Hair Boy," Helga chuckled, "it'll prepare you both for your exciting careers as custodians."

"In your dreams Helga," Gerald countered.

"We'll see." Helga grinned, she'd be sure they had a lot to clean up after the dance. A food fight would be the perfect way to end the evening.

"And remember everyone, this dance is more of a costume party and there will be a prize given to the student wearing the best, most special costume." Mr. Simmons smiled.

Helga rolled her eyes.

"What prize?" Stinky inquired.

"I believe this year we're giving away a pack of four free passes to the new haunted house down by the amusement park."

"COOL!" everyone gasped. Those tickets were expensive and the lines to buy them went on for miles.

"Now if everyone's got their assignments for the Halloween dance I suggest we move on to geography." there was a loud groan from the students, "Who can tell me the longest mountain range in the world?"

Phoebe's hand automatically shot up. Helga sighed, Phoebe must get tired of carrying the whole class. But although Helga was just as smart, she wasn't about to let anyone else figure that out (except Phoebe and the teacher). She couldn't risk her tough girl image turning into that of a geek.

Arnold was busily flipping through his text book. "Oh Arnold my love, so studious, so knowledgeable. Is it any wonder that I care for you so?"

The breathing started again, Criminey! Twice in one school day! Without further thought Helga let her fist fly and Brainy was once again sprawled out on the floor.

"Good to know Old Betsy hasn't lost her touch." Helga blew her fist.

She didn't notice that Arnold was staring at her. "Wow, I guess no one gets close to Helga."

Phoebe had finished answering the question (correctly, as usual). "Oh I wouldn't be too sure about that." she whispered to herself. Unfortunately, Arnold overheard her.

"You mean Helga actually likes someone? Who?"

"Huh?" You've done it now Phoebe! "I-I didn't say that Arnold."

"Yes you did. Who is it Phoebe?"

"It's um…um…"

"Is it that Ice Cream guy that you two are always going on about?"

"Uh, yes Arnold. You could say that."

"Oh, hmm…it's not Stinky is it?"

"No." Phoebe laughed.

"Then who?"

"I-I…" Phoebe couldn't think of anything better to say, "I'll tell you after school okay?"


Arnold turned back around and Phoebe sank back in her seat. "Helga's gonna kill me." she muttered to herself.


*This is my Halloween fiction. Hope you all enjoy it. I'll get to the dance soon and just wait 'til you see what Helga's cooked up for a music act! ^_~ *