Set during and after episode 1.06, "I Kissed A Girl."
Googlemouth has decided to completely retire. As such, she's taking down her FFN account soon, and she's allowed me the chance to repost what we worked on together.
Characters aren't ours. They belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, Turner Broadcasting, Warner Brothers, and other assorted important people. I gain nothing from writing these stories but the fun of doing it. Please don't sue me.
This story was co-written with Googlemouth.
Note: A substantial portion of this chapter is an exact scene from the show. You all know the words, you all know what you saw; this excerpt will simply be my description of those things. Don't skip it – I make subtext into maintext. You know you wanna read that.
Yoga class was going to be tense, Jane knew. Maura and Brock had enjoyed their date, then parted company after dinner with no one in the dark about where it was (not) going to go from there. She, on the other hand, had been at her wits' end for a little too long regarding Jorge. "I'm not kidding, Maura, you better tell him something to get him off my back once and for all," warned the detective as she wrestled with her leggings and sports bra. "He may be cute, but I'm not trying to be with any man who's got so little testosterone in his system. You know that lunch he brought me? It was a sandwich cut in a heart shape. I haven't liked heart shapes since I was in third grade, Maura." She was getting all worked up, could feel it happening, had a choice to quit now and relax, but instead plowed forward. "He replaced my car battery, which by the way was perfectly okay. He put a bow in Jo Friday's hair. My dog has a bow in her hair. Jorge may be cute, but he doesn't want to be a husband, or a boyfriend, or even a booty call. He wants to be a wife, and if I wanted that –"
"I know," replied Maura serenely, already in her workout togs, as she brushed her caramel curls into a ponytail. "If you wanted a wife, you'd be gay. All right, look, I'll go and speak to him right now if you like. It'll all be over by the time you get to class, if you just give me a couple of minutes."
Jane huffed in frustrated dignity. "Well, you better fix this and fix it good. You started this, so you get to end it."
Maura's head tilted as she reminded Jane, "Fix it well. The word good is an adjective, but that sentence requires an adverb." She smiled, waiting for Jane to take the correction, but received only a scowl for her helpfulness. Her hands flew up as if fending off blows, conceding defeat. "All right, okay, I'm going. Give me three to five minutes, and then come to class."
As class began, Jane entered the yoga studio and started to stretch out. Almost everyone else was already warmed up and ready, including Maura, who looked fairly pleased with herself, and Jorge, who stood in his usual spot in the row ahead of Maura's and Jane's row. He seemed relaxed, not especially happy or upset. Just as Jane was wondering whether Maura had kept her word – which was absurd, because not keeping one's word was the same as lying, which Maura couldn't do, but Jane had to consider all the possibilities – Jorge bent to stretch out his hamstrings, and that was when he spotted her. He abandoned his warmup for a moment to come stand by her, voice lowered discreetly.
With an enthusiasm entirely unsupported by actual feeling, Jane responded with a smile, "Hey!"
Jorge looked hesitant for a moment, but cleared his throat and forged on. "Look, I-I just want to tell you I support your choice, Jane."
Not much information there, but it was all Jane had to work with, so she ran with it. "Okay. Thank you. And thank you for the flowers and the chocolates. And the lunch. And the car battery, even though mine was fine." There she stopped; there was no way Jane was going to thank anyone for putting a bow in her dog's hair.
"Sure. You're welcome," Jorge said with a smile that contained a little too much compassion for Jane's liking. For some reason, it had just gotten awkward. Well, more awkward. His next words clarified the matter considerably, but they didn't make Jane feel any better. "Glad we live in a state that women like you can get married if that's what you want."
She was going to kill Maura. Kill her, destroy or contaminate the evidence as only a homicide detective could do. Even if they discovered her, no jury in the country would convict her. Justifiable homicide, it would be called. "Okay," Jane told Jorge, smiling insincerely. He went back to his own yoga mat, much to her relief, as it meant that she wouldn't have to come up with anything else to say to him. This wasn't over yet, though, not by a long shot. She rounded on Maura and hissed, "You told him I was gay?" And how in the hell had she managed that, since she couldn't lie? Did Maura actually believe...?
Her friend seemed far too amused by the proceedings. "No, he assumed. It's different."
"Right." Jane felt herself tensing up, even as Brock began class by instructing everyone to stand with feet shoulder-width apart, shoulders relaxed; but Jane couldn't let it go. "He assumed?" she said through gritted teeth.
Brock insisted patiently, standing right in front of Jane to make his point, "Just close your eyes and breathe. And breathe out."
To her credit, Jane did try. She took a long breath in through the nose, then exhaled deeply out the mouth before ruining the progress that the breathing would have made in her. "You better hope this calms me down," she warned, violence underpinning her words even though she did not make those threats aloud.
Still not sufficiently intimidated, Maura smirked, "Well, I could always tell him you like him."
"Don't you dare." Jane wasn't kidding, and to illustrate her intent more fully, gave Maura a shove in the shoulder.
"Oh, I wouldn't dare." Maura replied with just enough mock to register, not enough to call her on. She wasn't scared.
The classmate right next to them tried to shush both women, irritated that they were harshing her chill.
Jane apologized with a muted, "I'm sorry," right before pushing Maura off balance one more time, got shushed yet again, and apologized again, meaning it no more than she had the first time. Maura just laughed, proving that she really wasn't taking the implicit threats seriously. Inexplicably, Jane started to laugh, too, and the two succumbed to the worst case of church-giggles that that particular yoga class had ever had to endure.