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Summary: Nightmares are hunting Patroclus, He is no longer a child. Does he still need Achilles help? One-shot.
I wake up in the middle of the night feeling terrified. It took me a few seconds to have a recollection of the reason why I was feeling so scared. Last week I saw a man loses his life in front of me. And since then the same horrific images keep coming to me every night. The image of him taking his last breath, the blood all around, me standing there watching in silence, until he turned into a dead body.
I was kind mad at myself for feeling this way, for having these dreams. How am I going to be a worrier one day when I can't handle seeing one death! A death that I didn't even cause. It's not just the nightmares that freaked me; it's the thought that I may never get a good night sleep again. What if I keep having these horrible nightmares for the rest of my life!
Finally, I got up form bed. I wanted to take my mind off theses nightmares. But all of the darkness outside did not help. And in this late hour there wasn't any place I could go to, or anyone I could speak with.
The thought about going to my cousin room crossed my mind, but I immediately decided against it. For one thing I am not a child anymore; I can't keep running to my cousin every time something scary comes along. Plus what would he thinks of me- if he found out that seeing one death cause all of that! He would probably never let me near a battlefield for the rest of my life. Achilles already treats me like a child – what is going happen if he knew about this?
I just sat there staring at nothing. I was trying to so hard to ignore all the horrible thoughts in my head. I was not sure how long I stayed like this, But after awhile I saw Achilles walk out of his room, he immediately asked me, "Patroclus what are doing up? Are you alright?"
At first I wasn't sure what answer him, I just said," It's nothing, I was just thinking."
"You wake up in the middle of the night, to think about what exactly?" Achilles then came to set by my side; the extremely concerned look in his eyes did not escape my notice. I tried to ease his concern saying, "I am fine, it was just a bad dream."
"What was the dream about?"
"It's nothing really."
Achilles of course would never let something like this go that easy. He put his hand around my shoulder and pulled me to his side, saying," What is going Patroclus?"
"Can we talk about this later?" I really didn't feel like taking.
"No, I would prefer if you tell me now."
I knew that my cousin won't move until I tell him what is going on. So I explained, "It's about that guy that I saw dying week ago, I keep having repeated images of his death."
"This has been going on for a week, and you did not tell me! Why? " I honestly didn't think this would be my cousin first question, and seeing the disappointed look in his face. I told him, "I just did not want to bother, cousin. "
"Bother me! Really! Since when do you hate bothering me? Or you thought you were too old to ask for my help?" I couldn't tell what was in my cousin eyes anymore. Is he angry at me now! It not like I did anything wrong here! I had no idea what to respond.
After a few moments in silence, Achilles said slowly, "It make scene that you would have nightmares, what you saw was not easy, you saw a human being lose his life."
"I will probably get used to it with time." I wanted to sound hopeful.
Achilles replayed sternly, "If you get used to it, then you are no longer human."
Hearing his words made my heart clench, I couldn't believe what I just heard. What does Achilles mean by that? A million questions went through my mind. But Achilles didn't want to discuss this any further. He tightened his hold on me, saying "you don't have to worry about this right now. "He smiled and continued, "But you should have told me the minute these nightmares started."
A sudden thought went through my mind; I asked him "So why are you awake? Cousin."
Achilles seemed a little surprised by the question. But clearly Achilles did not want to talk about himself as well, he simply said," my instinct told me you need me .Now come on, let's go back to sleep."
I was too tired to even laugh at that. I wanted to repeat my question but I knew for a fact Achilles won't tell me anything, even though it was clear that he is bothered by something. He did not say much, but it was enough to make me dread my future. Does he have nightmares too? Is that what he was trying to tell me! That a worrier life is a never ending nightmare!
A second later, I found myself being dragged by Achilles to his own bed. I made no effort to stop him. When we reached the bed, I closed my eyes and laid there quietly.
As I felt his strong arm around me, I started to ask myself, how long is this going to keep happing? How old would I have to be to stop sleeping in my cousin bed when I have a nightmare? More importantly is sleeping here really going to chase away my nightmares?
Suddenly, with all of the things I was feeling, I wanted to cry so badly. But I stopped myself, thinking that I have caused my cousin enough concern for one night. Plus I told myself, there was no reason to cry, he is here next me holding me in his arms. I will be fine, I will be safe .Achilles will protect me for everything. Maybe Achilles can chase away my nightmares, at least for tonight I am going to believe that.