The plane ride to America was uneventful, except for Niall and Liam falling asleep on each others shoulders with their arms wrapped around one another's shoulders. The boys made sure to photograph it for later embarrassment. Harry, who was sitting next to Louis, groaned as the older boy rambled on about how great the tour was. All Harry cared about was getting a few more hours of sleep and, somehow, he managed to do just that. They landed all to quickly in Harry's opinion.
"Wake up curly," Louis said, shaking him gently.
"Sleep," Harry mumbled.
"Okay," Louis sighed, "I guess you're going back to England. Bye Haz."
That got Harry's attention. Opening his eyes he stood up quickly, too quickly. For a fleeting moment Harry was enveloped in darkness, but it passed as quickly as it came. He looked at Louis, who smiled, obviously not noticing his best friends dizziness. Good, Harry thought, the less he notices the better. Louis began walking off the plane and Harry followed quietly.
Once situated at the hotel Niall began complaining of hunger. The other boys chuckled and decided that it was about time for dinner. They were leaving Louis and Harry's hotel room when Louis noticed Harry wasn't following. He was putting his trainers on.
"What are you doing Haz?" Louis asked.
"Oh," Harry replied, "I'm not really hungry. I think I'm going to head down to the gym."
"But you didn't eat this morning and you didn't eat on the plane," Louis said, concern radiating off of him.
"I'm just not hungry Lou," Harry said, "can't you just accept that? I promise I'll eat when I'm hungry."
No you won't, the voice told him, you're going to fast for a week and after that you'll have no more than two hundred calories a day. Any more and you'll have to purge. Yes ma'am, harry sighed. He didn't know why he assumed the voice was a girl, but it reminded him of one so that was that.
"Harry," Louis said, snapping Harry out of his thoughts, "do you promise me that the second you get hungry you will go and eat?"
"Promise," Harry smiled, albeit a little uneasily.
Louis sighed, "alright. I guess we'll see you later. Don't work out to hard at the gym, you know, since you haven't eaten."
"I won't," Harry lied.
Louis still looked a bit unsure, but left the room as soon as Niall began whining about starving to death. If he only knew, Harry sighed and finished lacing up his trainers. He left the room, walking briskly down the hall to the elevator. Take the stairs, you need to burn the calories. Harry groaned as he walked towards the stairs. Why did they have to be on the 8th floor again? When he reached the gym he looked at all the equipment, before finally selecting the treadmill. He ran for two hours straight, how he didn't know. Oh, that's right because the voice had told him to and every time Harry pleaded with it to let him stop the voice had added five minutes. It was originally only supposed to be an hour, but 12 complaints later here he was.
Stepping off the treadmill the all to familiar wave of dizziness hit Harry. He held on to the treadmill until the dizziness passed. What next? The stair master is a great way to burn calories and get rid of some of your disgusting fat. Well, that settled it. Harry walked towards the stair master and climbed on. Another hour and a half later Harry was drenched in sweat and his stomach sounded similar to a dying whale. Walking towards the stairs Harry passed the dining hall. Please ma'am, didn't I work hard enough for some dinner? No, the voice sneered, if you eat you will ruin all our hard work. If you eat no one will ever love you. If you eat you will never be perfect. Is that what you want, to be a fat and useless blob for the rest of your life? No, I want to be perfect. Harry could practically see the voice smiling. Walking past the dining hall Harry jogged up the stairs, trying to keep from passing out as he did so. He opened the door and was instantly interrogated.
"Where have you been?" Louis shrieked, "It's been three and a half hours. You can't work out like that without eating and even then it's too much."
"Lou," Harry said calmly, "I did eat. I just got back from the dining hall."
"But, you didn't have your wallet," Louis protested.
"I slipped some money in my pocket before I left," Harry explained, his palms beginning to get sweaty.
"Oh," was all Louis could manage, "that's good then. I was getting worried about you, but now I see I was being silly."
Harry nodded, "yes you were. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to take a shower."
"I do believe my nose and I would appreciate that," Louis laughed.
Harry let a small chuckle escape his lips, before entering the bathroom and showering quickly. He looked in the mirror and shuddered silently. Looking away he grabbed his pajamas, now that he wasn't in his own room he couldn't risk Louis noticing his cuts or weight loss, and dressed. He slipped out of the bathroom and into his bed.
"You're going to sleep already?" Louis asked, incredulously.
" 'M tired," Harry mumbled into his pillow.
"Alright," Louis chuckled, "night Haz."
"Night Lou," Harry managed to get out before he was whisked away by the sand man.
***The Next Day***
"You're looking a little pale, Harry," Lou commented as she did his hair for their signing.
"I'm just tired," Harry said.
"If you're sure," she replied, "I'm finished with your hair so go get changed."
"I'm sure," Harry said, "and thanks Lou."
Lou smiled and motioned for him to get dressed. They were doing things backwards today, hair first clothes second. Harry walked into the room that the boys were sharing to get dressed. All the other boys were in the process of changing, so Harry quietly grabbed his outfit and walked into the bathroom. He dressed quickly, avoiding the mirror, but soon found that his pants were to loose. He would need a belt. Holding his pants with one hand, he opened the door.
"Niall," he hissed.
"What's up Harry?" Niall asked, walking over to the bathroom.
"I, erm, need a belt," he said weakly.
"I don't think the lady that chose our outfits wanted us to wear belts," Niall replied, "why do you need one, mate?"
"My trousers are too loose," Harry said uneasily.
"Oh," Niall mumbled, "well I'll go get Lou and see if she can help."
Harry watched Niall, with no shirt on, rush out of the room to find Lou. A moment later he returned with Lou right on his heel. With Harry's permission, she stepped into the bathroom.
"What seems to be the problem?" She asked kindly.
"My trousers are to loose," he repeated.
"May I see?" She asked cautiously.
Harry bit his lip, but nodded. Lou grabbed the top of his jeans and noticed that there was a gap about the size of harry's fist between Harry's waist and the trousers.
"Oh my goodness," Lou said, concern showing on her face, "Harry this is the same size you always wear. You've obviously lost weight. Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes," Harry choked out, "I'm fine, just haven't been as hungry lately."
"Alright," Lou said, looking sceptical, "I'll see if I can find you a belt, but Harry if something is wrong promise you'll tell me?"
" 'Course I will."
You liar. You know you won't tell her. I won't let you. Shut up, Harry sneered. You know it's true. I know.
"Here you go Harry," Lou said, handing him a belt.
How long had he been zoned out? He never knew with the voice, sometimes it seemed like minutes and it was hours. Sometimes it was the other way around.
"What-oh thanks Lou," Harry smiled.
He slipped the belt on, putting it in the second to last hole.
"Alright boys," Paul, their manager, said, "time to go into the other room for the signing."
All the boys smiled, except Harry. He followed the other boys in silence. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him. He was just so tired these days. He sighed, but followed the boys into the room where the signing was being held. Sitting down he watched as the girls rushed in, all giggling and smiling. Any other time he would have found it so sweet that these girls loved them that much, but today it was all just noise adding to his growing headache. He managed to make it through the signing, although he was pretty sure everyone knew he wasn't his typical flirty self. Once the signing was over all the boys headed back into the dressing room. They changed together, Harry being in the bathroom again, and then headed out to the van.
"I'm hungry!" Niall whined.
"I'm actually feeling hungry myself, mate," Louis agreed.
Liam and Zayn mumbled their agreements, which left Harry.
"Well Harry," Paul stated, "you want to go with the other boys and eat or do you want me to drop you off at the hotel?"
"Just drop me-"
"He's coming with us," Louis said firmly, "he's going to eat."
Paul looked confused, but nodded, "alright boys, where are we eating today?"
"Mcdonald's!" Niall said, hopefully.
The three other boys nodded, saying, 'that sounds good'. Harry kept his eyes on the floor. His palms were beginning to get sweaty. This was only the third day of his fast. He had four more to go. He couldn't disappoint the voice. Speaking of the voice, he really should name it. Hmm, he had read a lot of people called their voice Ana. That was that, he couldn't disappoint Ana.
"You coming, mate?" Liam asked.
Harry swallowed and nodded. He followed the boys into Mcdonald's. It was fairly empty, only a few older couples scattered here or there. No one was in line. The four boys all placed their orders and, when it came to Harry's turn, he hesitated.
"Um, I'll just have a diet coke," Harry said.
"But Haz you need to eat something," Louis protested.
"Yeah, mate," Liam agreed, "you really need to eat."
"My stomach feels a little funny," Harry protested, "I'll eat once it calms down."
The boys gave up, not wanting to start an arguement.
Paul gave Harry a sypmathetic look, "you sure you don't want me to take you to the hotel real quick? You are looking quite pale."
"I'm fine Paul," Harry said.
Paul nodded and followed the boys as they grabbed their food. Louis handed Harry his diet coke and they sat down at a nearby table. As the boys unwrapped their hamburgers and french fries Harry's stomach betrayed him, letting out a loud whine.
"Sounds like someone's hungry," Louis laughed, "come on Haz let's go get you some food."
"I'm not hungry," Harry argued, "my stomach is just gurgling because I don't feel good."
"Oh," Louis looked down, "I'm sorry Haz I shouldn't have made you come."
"It's really okay," Harry smiled, "I feel like I haven't seen you guys in forever."
"That's because you been living in your bedroom and the gym," Zayn laughed.
"Just trying to stay in shape," Harry said.
"Yeah, but are you sure it's healthy to be at the gym for almost 4 hours?" Louis asked.
"4 hours!?" Paul gasped, "Harry are you sure you aren't overdoing it?"
"I'm sure," Harry said, "I'm fine, really."
"Are you sure mate?" Zayn asked, "You've obviously lost weight and-"
"Shut the hell up and listen to me!" Harry yelled, "I am freaking fine! You guys need to just leave me the hell alone."
With that he stood up and began walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Niall asked, eyes still wide from what had just happened.
"I'm going to walk to the hotel," Harry spat, "and when I get there I'm going to the gym."
As soon as he spoke those words he walked quickly out the door and to the hotel, but not without being mobbed a few times by fans of course.