Two (or Three) Shots:

A couple of their colleagues went up to Callie today to ask for 'tips and advises' - leaving Arizona wondering. And yeah, a tad bit uneasy.


Arizona, Callie, and Teddy are busy eating their lunch and talking about their respective days when they're interrupted by a seemingly anxious Kepner.

"Dr. Torres... I uh..." She squats on the floor beside Callie, wringing her hands nervously. "Can I ask you something?"

"About what? A patient?"

"No...it's a-about M-Matthew...and you k-know..." She whispers, looking at Callie pleadingly.

"Out with it Kepner!" Teddy yells at her, causing the poor woman to wince in surprise.

"Teddy." Arizona looks at her threateningly. "Leave her alone." She chastises her bestfriend before looking at the younger woman. "April, do you need us to go and give you two some privacy?"

"No. It's okay." She answers distractedly, and then goes off with her 'talk'. "I really need to talk to you about this. Okay?"

"Okay." Callie nods, unsure where this conversation is going.

"Matthew has never been to the carnival." Teddy rolls her eyes at Kepner's ridiculousness. "And he thinks that I haven't either because that's what I've told him. But... But I have..." Callie takes a sip of her juice, trying to keep herself from laughing at Kepner's serious dilemma, and Teddy and Arizona's confused reaction.

"Okay. And you wanna go to the carnival together?"

"Because I've been already and I rode...the rides." April arches an eyebrow at Callie, hoping she's getting her drift.

"Oh. Yeah. You went to the carnival with Jackson, right?" Callie asks with a straight face.

"I have ridden the rides and they were good. The tilt-a-whirl? And then, that one that spins around when your back is up against the wall and the floor falls out from underneath your feet, and I want Matthew to go with me. But he wants to wait. Which is why he's perfect, because that's what I want! I always wanted to wait, but I didn't wait, and now… I just, every night push him closer and closer, and I feel like I'm gonna slip, and buy him a ticket, and shove him on the tilt-a-whirl, and then he's gonna love it and I will have corrupted him. And I- I'm not a..."

"Corrupter. You're not a corrupter."

"Exactly! See? This is why I decided to talk to you instead of Meredith. You get it! It's like you're reading my mind! I mean, no offense to Meredith, because I know that she loves to go to the carnival whenever she could, but you - you're just...our deity. Our carnival deity. Like, if we could, we'll pray to you, or go to -."

"Kepner. I don't see what's the problem? Just talk to him."

"How?"

"Okay. So your whole thing is 'God has a plan', right?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Well...there must be a reason why he let you go to the carnival already. Maybe you're supposed to take Matthew. Show him around. Be his tour guide. I mean, it would be harmful if you both haven't been to the carnival. You both won't know what the good or bad rides are. That's risky, Kepner. It's like having a blind man being led by another blind man."

"Oh my God... you're totally right."

"Of course."

"But you see, I've only ridden a few rides. Like, t-two." April whispers. "And...D-Do I t-take him to those two rides only? Or should we try the other rides?"

"Remember this above anything else, Kepner. Safety is key. I wouldn't recommend taking him to those rides that you haven't tried yourself because what if something horrendous happens and you're both not prepared? It could go very badly. So since it's your first time together, at the carnival, stick to the rides you've tried first. Then when you go to the carnival again, you can try the other rides. Baby steps."

"Right. That sounds really right." April sighs in relief. "Thank you, Dr. Torres. You've been really helpful." She giggles before standing up. "I'm so sorry for interrupting your lunch. I gotta go! Thanks loads!" And with that, she happily skips out of the cafeteria, leaving two stunned and utterly confused blondes.

"What was that?" Arizona questions her wife who only shrugs in response.

"You've heard her. It's a carnival dilemma." Callie chuckles at the memory of Kepner's face.

"You're their deity." Teddy guffaws at her own words. "Deity!"

"By 'their', she meant who else?" Arizona asks with furrowed brows.

"I don't know, honey."

"By carnival, did Kepner mean -." Arizona's cut off by the sound of her pager. "Oh shoot. I gotta go." Standing up from her seat, she quickly plants a kiss on Callie's head before walking away. "We'll talk more later, Calliope."

/


Four hours later, Arizona finds herself pushed up against the supply closet wall with Callie settling in between her legs.

"Calliope...someone might walk in..."

"Yeah. But if you're quiet..." Callie trails on playfully. Pink lips open to respond but Callie moves swiftly, holding tightly to Arizona's body and jerking forward until the blonde squeals and giggles.

"Calliope..." Arizona manages to let out as Callie begins to attack the expanse of her neck with small licks and kisses. Callie doesn't stop though and instead just laughs into pale skin as she grazes her teeth along the ridge of the other woman's collarbone. Her fingers work their way meticulously underneath Arizona's top and up over her ribs until she can palm the Peds doctor's breast through her bra. It only takes a few seconds before fingers curl into her hair and tug until their mouths can come together.

A little while later, they're still making out.

Only this time, with a little less clothing.

Arizona brings their lips together in a kiss that isn't heated or urgent, just simple and relaxed; a kiss that almost mirrors what's going on between them at the moment. They're relaxed. And blissful. Arizona holds herself, feeling her heart pound and pulse thrum against her skin, and just lets herself drown in the feeling of Callie's soft, warm lips pressed against her own. She lets herself drown in the feeling of Callie's movement, lips still pressed together. She smiles against the brunette's mouth, their teeth bumping lightly when she mirrors the gesture, sucking lightly at Callie's top lip and smoothing her tongue along the underside of it. She's almost surprised at how loudly her heart is beating, at how fast the blood is rushing around her body, until her palms splay across Callie's back, feeling the heat of her wife's body pushing against her own.

"Calliope..." She mumbles into the kiss.

"Hmmm..." Callie hums, runs her hands over the back of Arizona's thighs and tugs gently to rock their hips together.

"You're so good..." Arizona smirks, still not believing how this is her life.

"So I've been told," Callie says and winks down at her, hands busy pulling Arizona's pants down.

Except, Arizona's not entirely focused on how breathtakingly beautiful Callie is fiddling with her pants, because those four words shoot straight into her mind and cause her to still.

So I've been told.

It's not exactly like it's been bothering her for a while or anything, because she's well aware that Callie has been with a number of people before they got together. Hell! She's been with lots of women before.

But what Callie said caused something inside of her to stir. That, and the incident earlier at the cafeteria with Kepner. The wheels in her head start turning and they won't freaking stop.

It's common knowledge that two people who are... together, they don't talk about how many people they've been with before, because that's just the white flag to their relationship. Once that question is asked, usually it's the beginning of the argument which either leads to a messy break up, to many days of ugly arguments or in some very rare cases, the best make up sex ever.

Only, sometimes Arizona couldn't help herself. She just couldn't help herself and so before she could weigh down the pros and cons of asking the question, her mouth starts acting on its own.

"Calliope?"

"Shhh... stop talking." Callie attaches her lips back on her wife's, muffling her words - only, Arizona could not be deterred.

"Wait...Calliope, wait... I have something to ask you..."

"Hmm. What?" Callie asks impatiently.

"How many -."

"TORRES! I know you're in there! I can feel you from here!" Bailey's voice booms from the other side of the door.

"Ugh. This is not happening." Callie groans at the disruption, unwillingly putting her clothes back before Bailey decides to barge in. "What do you want Bailey?"

"Is it safe to come in, Torres?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." In a blink, Callie unceremoniously (harshly) opens the door to face the blue balling culprit. "What?!"

"Oh don't use that tone on me, Torres." Bailey whispers through gritted teeth.

"Fine. I'm sorry. What do you need?" Bailey looks around, and once she realized that the coast is clear, starts talking to Callie again.

"Condoms." She whispers, eyes wide but visibly nervous.

"I'm making out with my wife and you interrupted us because of condoms?" Callie asks in disbelief. "They have them in the clinic!" She starts closing the door, only for it to be stopped by a size four foot.

"No. No. Am I supposed to bring them?" Bailey looks on helplessly.

"Ohhh. Oh." Callie moves to bring Miranda closer. "Ah. Guy brings condoms, but sometimes they fail to provide them on the third date as a sign of respect. 'Oh! I never imagined it'd happen so soon! Oh! I wasn't prepared.' So you know what? You should bring them. Always bring them. Why trust the guy right?"

"Right."

"Right. Alright." Callie smiles before closing the door again.

"Torres."

"Hmm?"

"I..." Bailey looks on pleadingly. Callie catches on.

"Come on!"

"I can't."

"Yes, you can! Walk into the clinic and take some condoms out of the box." She say through gritted teeth.

"Don't make me ask you twice."

"Bailey."

"Torres, please?"

"Fine. Just, get lost, Bailey."

"Wait! Wait! I've got another question."

"Another? Come on!"

"I'm sorry." Bailey tries to look over the orthopedic surgeon's shoulder, looking for Arizona. "It's really important. I have no one else to talk to about this without being judged."

"You can talk to me!" Arizona offers, head popping from behind Callie's shoulder as Bailey shyly ducks her head.

"Am I supposed to sleep over?" Bailey whispers.

"Sleepover sounds nice." Arizona offers.

"Oh no." Callie interjects while shaking her head. "No. Sex on the couch. Walk of shame to the car under the cover of darkness."

"Do I wear a dress?"

"Sure! You'll look pretty in a dress." Arizona beams.

"Uh-uh. Casual. Like, you don't expect it's gonna happen but you're, ready, for it to happen."

"Oh. How ready?"

Callie grins, getting ready to explain further. "Like...you've prepped the surgical field..." She trails on, waiting for realization to dawn on Bailey.

"Oh, Torres!"

"I can arrange -."

"No. Just no." With a stomp, Bailey was out of their sight.

/


"Calliope?"

"Hmm."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm." Callie mumbles into Arizona's skin, lips brushing against her pulse point. For a moment, Arizona's tempted to let it go and just talk about it with Callie in the morning. But she can't. She can't get the thought out of her head at work since this morning. A little bit more determined, she turns her body towards her wife, propping her pillows in the process.

"How many..." Arizona clears her throat, trying to come up with the right words. "How many people have you been with?"

Ugh. So much for trying to find the right words.

She feels Callie stir in her arms before she tenses. Her muscles tenses and her breath stills from where it's blanketing Arizona's neck. It takes a few seconds - the seconds that seem to on for like, hours - but then Callie shifts beside her, and she feels gloomy as Callie pulls back, eyebrows scrunching together and mouth in a small 'o' like she can't quite believe Arizona asked her that. Arizona's pulse picks up and her throat runs dry as brown eyes search her blues intently, as if they're trying to figure out something that clearly words can't ask.

Okay, maybe this was really a bad idea.

A really, really, bad idea.

"Why are you asking?" Callie mutters softly, this time propping herself up on her elbow, already a few inches away from Arizona.

Arizona's eyes widen a little, unsure of what to say. Maybe she should have put a little more thought behind it before asking that question. She makes a mental note to think before she speaks next time (not that it didn't happen before, but, you know. Next time).

"No reason, really. I'm just curious."

Callie's eyes harden into a steel brown. "Really, why'd you ask?"

"I was just wondering."

"Why?" Callie presses again. "Is this you testing your theory again that I'm not really a good enough lesbian for you? Because, Arizona, I won't defend my bisexuality to you again." Callie abruptly sits up, surprising Arizona.

"Hey...no, it's not me testing a theory or anything. I'm just really curious, that's all. Two of our colleagues went up to you today for advises on you know, sex with men, and it just popped into my head. Like, why you? Why were they asking you and not anyone else? Is it because they know something? Like you're an expert on it?"

Callie stays quiet for a moment, obviously thinking about her words. "It's different with women, Arizona."

Arizona tenses, "I'm a woman too" She grits.

"I know, Arizona," Callie chuckles, dryly. "You know what I mean though. It doesn't matter if men or gold-star lesbians like you sleep with loads of women," She sighs. "You'll be fist bumped or whatever. Women are considered whores if they've got lots of sexual partners. Men? They're not judged. They're celebrated even. It's like a badge of honor. Women? Sluts."

Arizona laughs a little. "You think I get fist bumped when I get laid?"

"Arizona," Callie whines.

"Sorry, you were saying?"

"I'm just saying...It's rude to ask that question." Callie crosses her arms on her chest.

"But we're married. You said we can talk about anything." She pouts.

"I'm not proud of my number, Arizona. There. I said it. Can we just drop this?" Callie sighs, a little annoyed. "But if you really want to have an idea, then it's quite a lot. Not that anybody doesn't know that."

"How many?"

"What?"

Blue eyes meet brown. "How many people have you slept with?"

"You get that asking this question is a bad idea, right? A very, very bad idea. Inappropriate. Unethical. I could go on and on here."

"I know. But I've already asked it. So I can't really go back. And I'm really curious."

Sighing deeply, Callie clenches her jaw and tries to calm herself. "Does it really matter?"

"No. Not at all. I just want to know."

"Arizona."

"Calliope." Arizona tries to be charming by hugging her sitting wife. "It's just like us asking each other something really personal. And if it helps, I can tell you mine first?"

"Fine."

"20." Arizona lets out. She waits for Callie's unimpressed reaction, but it doesn't come. Instead, a dry chuckle can be heard coming out of her spouse.

"Right. Now I'm super sure that I'm not telling you mine."

Arizona snaps her head up, eyes wide. "What? Why? That's unfair!"

"You've slept with 20 people," Callie mumbles without any expression and Arizona could not figure out if Callie's pissed or not.

She goes with pissed.

"Oh, come on, Calliope. I mean, it can't be that much more. So out with it." She teases.

"This is stupid, Arizona."

"Now that I think about it, yeah, it is..." Arizona bites her lower lip at her stupidity. "If you really don't want to tell me then it doesn't matter, I love you. Nothing can change that. Whether you've slept with one person or a thousand? It doesn't matter." She shrugs. "There's nothing wrong with sleeping with people, and everyone does. It's in the past and it doesn't matter." She offers. "Nothing can change how I feel about you. Ever. I was just curious."

"42."

It takes a few seconds for Arizona to process the number and connect it to her question, but when she does, she just gazes at Callie intently and doesn't react.

Callie must have taken her silence for something else because she abruptly stands up and heads for the door.

"You know what? I don't need this right now."

"W-Wait! Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm sleeping at Mark's."

"Calliope -."

"Oh. And that's at Mark. Not with Mark." And with that, she slams their bedroom door.


Uh-uh. Someone's in trouble!

In this story, Callie didn't get pregnant with Mark's baby, ergo, no Sofia.

The crash didn't happen too.