The Diary of Alex P. Keaton


1:00 AM

Ok, things are good so far, airport hasn't lost my luggage, no one's tried to mug me. I'd say the big city is receiving me with open arms. Ok, now to get home, or my future home, or, I don't know, the place I'll be living. Oh, ok, now it makes sense, no one's tried to mug me because I HAVE NO CASH. Ok, so, there has to be a way I can get home, or to my residence. Maybe there's an ATM somewhere. Or, not... Ha! I have a credit card! Taxis don't take credit cards... But you know who does... the car rental place.

1:40 AM

So, I have the car. I'm driving. This isn't as bad as everyone said it would be. Driving in the city is easy! These people are not the ruthless drivers that... Whoa, was that guy like going 100 mph or something! Ok, man with a bat. No, not scared. It's just a kind, friendly,


1:43 AM

The man with the bat just wanted to know where the nearest bus stop was. Me? Paranoid?

Nooo... maybe just a little.

2:22 AM

Home sweet, what the hell? Who built this crap shack? I, am paying them good money to live here? They should be paying me

2:23 AM

I take that back. I have just seen the girl of my dreams.

2:25 AM

God, what is this world coming to? You make a teeny comment about a girl's breasts and you get slapped upside the head. Let me describe this little scenario to you:

Me- "Hi" [dashing smile]

Her- "Hi" [ignores me]

Me- "I, uh, just moved here"

Her- "I can see" [looks down at my luggage, my suitcases! sicko]

Me- "So, do you live here?"

Her- "Uh, yeah, in 3B. What apartment are you..." [I might have accidentally taken a look at her, -very nice- by the way, chest, or was staring at... details, details]

Her- "I'm up here"

Me- "That's ok, the view from here is just as nice" [hey! I didn't mean to say that, it just came out!]

Her- [slaps me upside the head, as we already established]

Hey, can you really blame me!?!

2:28 AM

Took another look at my conversation with the mystery girl, may have been just a little forward.

2:28.20 AM

Very forward.

2:40 AM

Well, this place really isn't so bad. Once I unpacked of few of my possessions (Reagan poster, computer, books, teddy bear .[who no one will find out about!]...) I began to feel much more at home. So, here I am... all alone... dumdeedum... I'll call Mal! Or not, seeing as she's probably asleep. I'll have a midnight, well, early morning snack. I have no food. so, um, yeah, I'm all alone here, in the city that never sleeps, in a half empty apartment, with no food. Wow, it's really, uh, dark out.

2:44 AM

You don't suppose mystery girl would let me stay at her house, just for tonight. Didn't think so.

2:50 AM

I'm not scared. I'm just a little nervous. You know, first night in a strange place. A strange place filled with armed robbers... don't forget the kind friendly people.

2:50.15 AM

What am I talking about, what kind friendly people!!! Ok, deep breaths Alex. Ok, this may just be my imagination, but I'm pretty sure I heard someone in the living room. There is definitely someone there! I'm just, you know, going to grab this lamp and see who it is...

2:51 AM

I almost attacked a cat with a lamp. The thing must have sneaked in through the window.

God, he is a huge cat. I'll just leave him outside my door. I mean, the thing is probably filthy and rabid. I'm getting rid of it.

2:52 AM

decided to keep the cat. You know, for company, seeing as I'm all alone and everything.

2:52.11 AM

Ok, so he's for protection. I know, it's a cat, but you should see this thing, he is huge. I mean like freakish. I figure it should be able to scare something off. But it is strictly a business relationship, he protects me, I feed him, that's it.

2:54 AM

I think I'll call him Mr. Whiskers.

2:55 AM

Or Captain McCat (McCat for short)

3:00 AM

Captain McCat and I are going to go to sleep, but he sleeps on the floor.

3:01 AM

Ok, ok, he can sleep on the bed.