Time Doesn't Always Run Straight

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Part 1

Authors note: So this is kind of a re-write of an earlier story I wrote but then abandoned due to massive flaws. I have changed a number of things so hopefully I have rectified the problems but please let me know what you think. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is written but I will be posting weekly to hopefully allow me time to write the next episode. It consists of 4 chapters of about 3,000 to 5,000 words, please let me know what you think about the length of each chapter. I do apologise in advance if updates are slow, I am about to start my final semester of uni ever! Which is very exciting but completely nerve-wrecking and may take up all my time.

Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, nor does it seem like I ever will

Warnings: Lots of swearing, violence plus smut to come in later chapters

"Hey kids. Did you miss me?" Jack smiles as he allows his eyes to scan the room taking in his team that he had come to see as family. He startles when he lays eyes on a strange woman. She was probably early twenties with long brown hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. Her clothes were strange; she was wearing a mid-thigh length red leather coat with chunky metal straps and buckles, tight black leather pants with chains and knee high brown leather boots decorated with cogs and spikes. On her head was a pair of steampunk welding goggles. But the thing that had startled Jack was the sword sheathed at her hip and the gun she was holding, pointing at where the Blowfish had been moments before.

He had startled her too as her eyes were wide with shock. She quickly turned her gaze from Jack and starts moving around the room towards various members of the Torchwood team, all the while stealing glances in his direction.

Owen had glanced briefly at Jack before turning back to tending to the injured man.

Gwen just gapes at Jack from where she was still crouched.

Toshiko's gaze flickered at Jack for a moment before turning back to her handheld scanner.

Ianto turns around in shock, having long ago told himself that Jack would never come back. For a moment he it felt like the whole world had melted around him, there was only him and Jack.

The voice of the woman in the red coat draws him back to reality.

"Ianto, can you make some hot drinks. Might help them with the shock." She asks. With a slight tilt of her head she indicates for him to put some Retcon in the drink.

"Right, drinks, will have them soon, Jestine." Ianto tries to centre himself but can't help but feel a little off balance at the sudden reappearance at their boss and his lover. Well he thought they were lovers but then Jack just ran out without even a goodbye. He shakes his head to rid himself of his train of thought. There was no use going over it all again. It was time to focus on the job. Later when the work was done, then he could analysis his feelings.

Jestine moves over to the mother who was now cradling her daughter.

"You and your family are safe. But your husband will be needing treatment beyond what our medic can provide. You need to tell my colleague, Gwen," She indicates to Gwen who jolts back into reality, "where your bedroom is so she can get him some things for his stay at hospital."

The mother slowly nods her head and gives Gwen the instructions.

Gwen glances at her teammate for a moment before trudging off to grab the man's stuff.

The young woman glances over at Owen, notes he has it under control and moves to Tosh. "Called off the police?"

"Done, hacked the software to say that there was already a squad here."

"Thanks, last thing we need is them coming in, especially with that still in plain sight." She jerks her head in the direction of the Blowfish.

"You want me to help carry it?" Tosh asks hesitantly, doubting she would be much help carrying such a heavy load.

"Don't worry; I'll get Jack to help."

Tosh gives a slight grimace, doubting Jack would be happy with the newest addition to the Torchwood team.

She gives Tosh a small smile in return and marches over to Jack.

Jack stands up straight, already defensive about this woman who it seemed was ordering his team around. He had known there was a chance things would be different for his team, but it had only been 3 months, he hadn't thought someone else would be ordering his team around. Who was she?

"Can you start moving the body out to the SUV, I just need to speak to Ianto then I will put the plastic cover in the boot but I shouldn't be more than a minute." She speaks to Jack.

"Who are you and who do you think you are to be ordering my team around?" Jack scowls at her.

She rolls her eyes. "Yes because now is the time for questions." She mutters sarcastically. "Jestine and I'm not ordering anyone around, just refocusing them after your sudden and overdramatic entrance."

"Now do try and useful." She calls out just before she enters the kitchen.

Jack glares at her as she moves into the kitchen. He starts moving the body when Tosh shots him a glare.


"Jack just appearing like that, I hope it hasn't upset you or something." Jestine tries to be comforting to Ianto.

Ianto has to give a small smile at Jestine's attempts. It had become clear almost immediately after meeting her that she wasn't the best at dealing with other people and their emotions. "They only have instant coffee, who drinks instant?" He replies, not sure how he was feeling.

Jestine gives him a pointed look. She might not be any good at understanding emotions but even she knew Ianto would be struggling with Jack being back. "Jack just suddenly appeared after you all thought he was never going to come back. I'm sure you are finding it emotionally difficult or something. I don't expect you to pour out your deepest emotions over instant coffee but just know that if at some point you need to piss off once this is done, go ahead. While you are indispensable, I'm sure we can keep everything going for a day or however long these things take."

"No. I appreciate the thought but I'm not going to run just because he has decided to show his face again." Ianto replies firmly. While he had no idea what he was going to do about Jack, he knew he was going to let Jack get in the way of his work.

"Well the offer stands, and if you want to punch him or something, I doubt anyone would stop you."

Ianto gives her a small smile, doubtful that he would.

Jestine shrugs, "Still I might be able to convince Gwen to go home to Rhys before she says or does something stupid with Jack." Jestine turns to leave.

"Maybe now she's engaged she will act different." Ianto suggests.

"Here's hoping." Jestine shows him her crossed her fingers before heading back into the living room.


"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" Jack asks as Jestine helps him haul the Blowfish's body into the back of the SUV.

"Are you deaf or dumb?" Jestine asks Jack sarcastically as she helps him lug the blowfish to SUV boot. "I've already told you, Jestine, formerly UNIT, helping your team."

"Because UNIT grunts normally have swords." Jack scowls at her.

"I said WAS part of UNIT, as in not anymore. So yes I have a sword." She turns and glares at Jack. "And I was never a grunt."

Jack glares back at her as they push the blowfish in and close the boot.

"I don't care who you are, I want you gone as soon as this is finish." While he knew that the team had gotten Jestine to join for a reason, he did not want anyone from UNIT in his Hub.

Jestine looks at Jack for a moment before answering. "Trust me, I know I shouldn't be here. I will be leaving as soon as I can. But I will not just leave them in the lurch. I am not like you."

Jack glares at her, angry at her assumptions. "You have no idea what you are talking about. I had to go, it wasn't my choice."

Jestine rolls her eyes. "You had to find The Doctor to see if he could fix you." Jack looks at her in shock, he hadn't told anyone about his plans.

"Yes I know." Jestine gives him a slight smirk.

"Not that it was hard to work out. You used to be a companion of The Doctor; you were brought to Torchwood because you were going on about how you needed to find The Doctor so he could fix you. A Blue Police Box appears, you run for it, it disappears with you clinging to it." Jestine smirks again at Jack.

Jack's stomach lurches for a moment as he realises as a member of UNIT Jestine could very well have been involved with the Valiant and know about The Year That Never Was.

Jestine notices something is off with Jack. "Look I honestly don't care about what you got up to while you were gone I just won't put up with your shit. They may." Jestine gestures violently towards the house. "But I will not, not after all the crap you have out me through."

"I have no idea what you think I have put you through but I don't care." Jack replies with some confusion.

Jestine curses under her breath. "Fuck you, I didn't mean you. At least not this you" She mutters the last part.

Before Jack can ask what she means Gwen and Tosh come out. As they get to them, Tosh looks between the two before addressing Jestine.

"Just came out to wait for the ambulance, it should be here in a minute. Owen has the patient stable and ready to go. Ianto is just serving the drink; they should be ready in a couple of minutes."

Jestine nods her gratitude at being kept in the loop. She turns to Gwen. "You and Ianto decided on a cover story yet?"

"Keeping it simple, a burglary with the father being shot protecting the mother. The robber was shot after he had grabbed the daughter, the officer had no choice."

Jestine nods in approval. "Nice, simple and basically the truth."

"Beside the point that the robber was an alien on drugs." Gwen gives a little giggle at the absurdity and Jestine gives a small smile.

"I'll head of then and met you back at the Hub then." Jestine leaves.


The team drive back to The Hub in complete silence.

Jack is sulking in the passengers' seat while Ianto is sitting behind him trying to sort out his thoughts.

Tosh is in the middle, with Owen next to her, the pair having a silent conversation about what was going to happen now that Jack was back.

Gwen is on edge as she drove back to base. Even the fact that Jack was back and sitting next to her was overshadowed by the tense atmosphere in the car.

Jack was just a little glad that Jestine hadn't gone back with them.

Unfortunately she was waiting for them at the Hub.

Ianto jumps out of the SUV the instant Gwen stopped the engine, heading into the Hub immediately, to start the coffee, and definitely not in an attempt to avoid having to be near Jack and his dam pheromones.

Tosh gave Owen a worried look before she takes off after their friend.

Jestine sighs as the rest of the team exit the car.

"We all know how it died so unless you want it for anything else I'll get rid of it, just have somewhere for me to dump it in the mean-time."

Owen nods before heading off. Jestine turns her attention to Gwen.

"You might just get your early night with Rhys." Jestine tries small talk with the Welshwomen.

Gwen knows she should be pleased with the prospect but now that Jack is back she isn't sure. She did love Rhys but there was something about Jack. She didn't know whether she was glad or angry that Jack was back. Probably a mixture of both. She gives Jestine a quick smile before she heads to the Hub.

Jestine glares at Jack as she pulls the blowfish's body from the boot and drops it onto the trolley Ianto stored in the garage.

"You going to be helpful or just stand there?"

"You always this bossy?" Jack takes one side of the trolley anyway.

"I would ask if you are always this much of an arse but I already know." Jestine retorts back.

Jack can't help but admire her spunk. Maybe if they had met in different circumstances he would have asked her to be a part of his team.

"How did you help the team?" The question had been burning in Jack's mind since he had met her. A thousand scenarios of how his team could have died had been running through his mind.

Jestine glances at Jack as they push the trolley. "They ran into some trouble, I happened to hear a commotion and couldn't help myself." She gives a ghost of a smile. "They were surrounded by pack of Weevils. I was mostly just a distraction, gave them a chance to take down a few."

"And just like that they decided to let you join a secret organisation?" Jack looks at her sceptically.

Jestine rolls her eyes. "They were still badly injured so I helped them clean up and get back to the Hub. They researched me, found about my UNIT background and asked if I wanted to help them while their boss was on sabbatical."

"So now I'm back you'll be going."

Jestine pushes the button with a huff. "I told you, as soon as everything is right I'm gone."

Jack nods before swallowing. "Thanks by the way. I don't know what I would have done if the team wasn't here when I came back."

"Well yeah." Jestine rubs her neck uncomfortable.

Thankfully she is saved by the lift opening.

They ride down in silence.


"Are you ok Ianto?" Toshiko asks as she finds him in the kitchen, making coffee and trying to not show how much turmoil he was in because of Jack's return.

"Fine, thought Jack would want some coffee, it has been over three months." He tries to give Tosh a reassuring smile but it doesn't fool her.

"Oh Ianto." Tosh sighs before she pulls him into a hug.

"I'm fine, really, it's just Jack. We knew he might come back one day." Ianto tries to reassure her but the hitch in his voice at Jack's name gives him away.

"Doesn't mean you can't be upset about him being back." Tosh allows Ianto to move back to the coffee machine.

"I'm fine, I'm not upset." Ianto repeats but one look at Tosh shows him that he isn't fooling her one bit. He sighs. "I just don't know what to think or feel Tosh. He just left us and now he comes swanning back in thinking everything will be the same as when he left. I just don't know if I can go back to the way things were."

"Then tell him that." Tosh tries to reassure Ianto.

"It's not just that. I don't want the team to go back to the way we were." Ianto tries to explain. "Before Jack left I wasn't a part of the team, not really."

Ianto interrupts Tosh before she can speak. "I wasn't, I never got to go out in the field with the team. I was just the Teaboy, Jack's personal assistant. I know being out in the field is dangerous but I've really enjoyed it the last few months. And I think we have grown closer as a team. Well at least since Jestine came."

Tosh finds that she can't argue with Ianto, there had been a number of changes since Jack had gone and Jestine had joined the team. While she had missed Jack, maybe his return wasn't the best thing for the team after all.

"Better get this to the troops." Ianto gives her a small smile as he carries the tray of coffees out.


Owen, Jack and Jestine leave the Blowfish in the autopsy bay, moving back to the main part of the Hub. They can see Ianto and Tosh coming down from the kitchen, Gwen is at her desk watching them.

Jack looks around at the people that were his team once but realises that so much had changed, and he was no longer sure that he had a place in the team.

"Guys, it looks like a quiet night, I'll take night shift. Get some sleep, catch up with a loved one, get pissed, do whatever it is you lot do when you aren't saving the world." Jestine informs the team as Ianto hands out the coffee.

Jack feels his stomach drop when Ianto doesn't even look at him when he gives him his coffee.

"Now Jack's back are you still going to stay?" Tosh asks as they sip their coffee.

Jestine sighs. She had enjoyed her time at Torchwood. She had felt like she belonged, a feeling that had been rare in her past. But she knew she had to go, as it was she had been here too long. "I was just here to help while Jack was gone. You don't need me now."

"But what if he leaves again?" Ianto asks, each word like a dagger stabbing Jack in the heart. He really hadn't meant to leave them for so long.

"I won't. I promise." Jack tries to catch Ianto's eye but he looks away.

"How can we trust you? We knew nothing Jack." Gwen lashes out and pushes Jack.

Jack sighs. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Where were you?" Tosh quietly asks.

Jack swallows before replying, realising that he needed to tell his team or risk losing them. "I found my Doctor."

"Did he fix you?" Owen asks.

Jack attempts a joke. "What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection."

"Are you going back to him?" Ianto asks, disheartened, knowing which Doctor Jack was talking about.

Jack looks Ianto straight in the eye. "I came back for you. All of you." He adds for the rest of the team.

"But why did you leave without telling us?" Gwen demands answers.

Jack doesn't want to tell them. Doesn't want to answer the questions that are sure to follow. Doesn't want to have to relive the horrible year that none of them remember, the year that only a few remember even happened.

Jestine notices Jack's unease. "That doesn't matter. Jack's back now and I can leave." Seeing the team's faces Jestine continues, "I'll stay a few days, make sure Jack is up-to-date, but you really won't need me now Jack is back."

None of the team seems happy but a computer beeps, forcing them back to work.

Thank you for taking the time to read, please let me know what you think, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated