I think I'm going to have a story just for the random crack-fic stuff that appears in my twisted mind….
Yup… that's what I'm going to do.
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers… though I wish I did.
Plot bunny: Jazz/Prowl Tangled
Warnings: None, it's not a pairing fic. It's just a for the heck of it fic.
Jazz tried to keep a straight face… he really did. But Prowl's statement wasn't really helping him.
The grin continued to grow, and choked back laughter followed. Prowl was trying his hardest to give Jazz the 'shut up now or die' glare but it didn't quite work while he was hanging upside down in a tree with multicolored string supporting the second in command.
"Eh… Prowler…" Jazz had to stop to regain control over his laughter. "What… happened?"
"I don't know, and I need you to get me down so that I can find out and mutilate the one responsible." Prowl growled. "And don't call me Prowler."
"Okay…" Jazz's voice sounded strained with his held back laughter. "But… are you sure…"
"Just. Get. Me. Down." Prowl snarled.
"As soon as I figure out how you're being held up." Jazz couldn't hide the highly amused quiver in his voice as he studied the string.
It wasn't every day that you came across your best friend who had obviously been the victim of a prank. Especially when that friend was hanging upside down… in a tree... with nothing but what looked like Cybertronian sized rainbow yarn holding him up. The saboteur was trying to hold back his laughter, and failing miserably.
"I'm going to have to climb up." Jazz stated with a low chuckle. "In the meantime… have you heard that joke about the time Optimus got tangled up in…"
"Just get me down Jazz!"
"Okay!" Jazz couldn't hold back the laughter anymore. "Just hold on a nano-click…"
That's when a branch broke and both mechs had a split second of dumbfounded surprise before Prowl dropped out of the tree. Jazz, who had been one branch above the tactician, yelped as a wad of multicolored string fell on him and he fell out of the tree. The two landed in an ungraceful heap and just kind of laid there as their systems re-calibrated.
"Jazz… get off." Prowl finally groaned.
The saboteur nodded slowly and then tried to stand up, only to freeze when he realized that he couldn't rise more than seven inches off of the tactician.
"I can't." Jazz stated with slight horror.
"What do you mean you 'can't'?" Prowl asked, irritation giving away to dread.
"I mean this fragging string has us tied together…" Jazz muttered.
"This is fragging perfect." Prowl snarled. "When I get ahold of whoever did this…"
"Well… I have some good news and some bad news." Jazz stated with false cheerfulness.
Prowl only glared at him from inches away.
"Right… the good news is, you don't have to punish the culprit here… the bad news is… you're kinda…" Jazz gave a half laugh. "Well… tied to him."
Prowl was quiet, and then he shuttered his optics.
Jazz flinched at Prowl's tone and gave him an apologetic smile.
"Well… you see… the twins said that I couldn't come up with a prank that they haven't already pulled on you and get away with it." Jazz paused so that Prowl could process that information. "And… this is what I came up with… only… this part wasn't supposed to happen…"
"Jazz." Prowl said very calmly.
"Yeah Prowl?" The hopeful tilt to his voice made the tactician's eye ridge twitch.
"I am going to dismantle you."
The med-bay was virtually empty. Except for the twins, who were on separate berths as Ratchet ran their regular diagnostics, which they had skipped more than two months ago, and nothing remarkable had happened so far.
"Just focus." A growled instruction came from the hallway leading to the med-bay.
"Did you forget who you're talking to Prowler?" Came the sarcastic reply.
"You are the third in command and head of the Special Ops division, Jazz, I know you can focus." Prowl growled back. "And for the last fragging time my designation is PROWL."
"Cool it Prowler, It's not like I planned for this to happen." Jazz's voice snapped back. "Primus… we're lucky to have made it through the base without anybody seeing us!"
The twins and Ratchet shared a look and then watched the door cautiously. It wasn't normal to hear Jazz sound irritated, and it definitely wasn't normal for Prowl to curse.
"If you hadn't have tried to pull this fragging prank in the first place neither one of us would be in this situation." Prowl snarled back. "And, so help me, if you call me Prowler one more time…"
"Fine! Calm your fragging processor down Prowl or I'll make sure every mech on base knows what happened." Jazz replied with just as much acid in his voice.
And then they appeared in the door way.
Ratchet and the twins stared at the two mechs while they stared back. Both were completely tangled in rainbow string, and they were shuffling sideways. Due to the fact that they were tied together with said rainbow string each facing the other.
"Hey Ratchet…" Jazz offered a feeble smile. "You see…"
"No…" Ratchet stopped the explanation. "I don't care what the two of you were thinking when you did this… I don't want to know what heats your engines… just go sit in the back and I'll be there in a few minutes to untangle the two of you."
Jazz and Prowl stared at Ratchet in mortification.
"We weren't…" Prowl started.
"It's not what it looks like!" Jazz jumped in.
"I. Don't. Care." Ratchet snapped, and pointed firmly to the back of the med-bay. "Go."
The two officers looked properly chastised and shuffled to the indicated area.
Ratchet rounded on Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, who looked to be on the verge of having a processor crash each.
"If the two of you…"
"We didn't have anything to do with this one…" Sunstreaker stated dumbly.
"Nope… that has Jazz written all over it." Sideswipe agreed quickly.
Ratchet studied them, and then nodded in agreement.
"If the two of you move, I will beat your helms in." Ratchet warned as he went to untangle Jazz and Prowl. "Sunstreaker, Sideswipe…"
"Yes Ratchet?" The two chourused together.
"I know you both got still shots of that… make sure I have a copy and then feel free to spread it around base." Ratchet grinned evilly. "Those two could use some embarrassment."
"Yes sir!" Sideswipe crowed while Sunstreaker nodded vigorously.
And… random crack-fic done!
I got this idea and just HAD to type it and post it. I hope you guys enjoyed!