a/n: YAY VOLUME TWO! I'm so excited to be back. I recently just published something else for Shikatema but it was rated T and I legit think there is divide in the fandom between ratings. like i feel as though it has been a long time since i was in the shikatema M rating fandom, though they're all the same. idk. what i mean is i published something last week but it is only now that i feel like i am coming back to my ff home! so i have a lot of ideas for this volume and can't wait to write them all out and to interact with all of you guys again. I'VE MISSED YOU!

I planned on doing this volume on regina spektor songs (though tbh i could continue the trend of alexz johnson forever) but i couldn't find an apt title for this so "on sex" has nothing to do with r spektor. anyway. please write me and tell me how all of you are and review and take care of me and everything! seriously, this is so short and meaningless, but i am so excited to be back with a new story! also, the summary will change when i get a new line a like (this one is adapted from chapter 4 in last vol.)

enjoy the lighthearted chapter. they're rare for me. take what you can get.


On Sex


"The sex isn't, well..."

He heard it as he was watching the clouds. It was just idle conversation, and Shikamaru couldn't quite explain why he became so invested.

Sure, he'd always had a sort of far off crush on Temari. He hated that phrasing, sure. Crushing wasn't exactly something that Shikamaru did. If he liked someone, he pursued it. In all, he was a pretty apathetic guy when it came to love and romance, and more often than not, he was the one being pursued.

But it wasn't like he didn't know how to pursue. He'd done it once or twice. But with Temari, he'd never really tried. They'd been closer when they were younger but he had never even been old enough to try for her. And when he had, she'd been with someone else.

He wasn't in love with her, and honestly, there were no late nights or horrific losses in her dating someone else. Shikamaru was fine.

So it was a kind of crush. Had they the opportunity, they'd probably be good for one another. But they didn't. And he didn't mind. So it was just a far off, reluctant, crush.

Which didn't explain why he stopped opened his chakra lines to better hide his position and allow to him eavesdrop on a girl he totally really didn't even like all that much.

He didn't care about Temari's sex life. He sure as hell didn't care to listen to Ino speak about hers. Ino told him enough even when he tried to ignore her. But here Ino and Temari were, walking down the street below the roof Shikamaru had, until recently, been sleeping on.

He'd woken from his nap an hour or so before, and though he was hungry, he had no motivation to leave the roof. So he sat, eyes idly on the sky and listening to the occasional tidbit of conversation from the pedestrians below.

Shikamaru's ears had perked up when he recognized Ino's voice with, "…but how is the sex?"

And his whole torso completely sat up when the voice that followed was Temari's.

"What does that mean?" Ino asked, "specifically."

They were walking out of ear shot and so Shikamaru moved forward on the rooftops.

"It isn't that he's bad," Temari clarified. When he looked down, he could see them walking right below him, strolling along with easy steps. "I mean, he tries hard, and I give him some credit for that."

"Do you come?"

There was a long pause and Shikamaru found himself leaning so far sideways that he risked falling off the roof, scared Temari had whispered the answer or something.

"I did. Once."

"Only once?"

Temari must have nodded or given some other form of non-verbal sign of affirmation because Ino continued.

"Does he not know?"

Shikamaru didn't really understand how he could not. Shikamaru was, after all, a man whom had engaged in sexual intercourse with more than one person. And sure, with a woman it was harder to tell when they came—as in there was no obvious sign—but not impossible. Shikamaru found himself rather capable of interpreting the signals, or at least he thought.

And he could usually feel it when someone came.

So how could Temari's boyfriend not realize that she never reached orgasm?

"I usually don't even fake it." Temari continued. "But he really tries. Every time it starts to get good, he stops and asks if I'm okay. I used to wonder if he was worried that he was like, actually hurting me or something, but it turns out he was just asking whether I was finished or not."

Shikamaru grunted, calming his pace down. He wanted to say that Temari's boyfriend was an idiot. But Shikamaru himself had, on more than one occasion, asked his partner if he or she were good for him to come. So he couldn't really judge, could he?

Then again though, Shikamaru was sure that if Temari were to choose another partner—say him, for instance—he would make her come. To be honest, he didn't really doubt it. He and Temari would have great sex, it was speculation, but he took it as fact.

He really shouldn't be thinking along these lines, because now his chest was burning, but that could always be attributed to the humid weather.

"Oh my god," Ino drawled, "I can't even imagine. Is sex really not that important to you? I would have dumped him asap if he couldn't pull off anything more than a few thrusts."

"He makes weird faces too."

There was a laugh from Ino and he can almost picture Temari rolling her eyes. "Well that's not unusual. You should have seen Genma."

Shikamaru shuddered and, for the first time, seriously considered giving the two girls their privacy. He didn't think prying into Temari's personal life was worth the extra baggage of Ino's.

"No," Temari said after a moment, "sex is important to me," she clarified. "And honestly, I don't even like him all that much. We started with just fooling around, and I used to think that even mediocre sex was better than no sex, but now I'm not so sure."

"There must be other prospects? It has never been hard for you to attract someone. And there must be some decent population of men that are good in bed."

"You've slept with the majority of reasonable eligible men in Konoha. You've never had a horrible partner?"

The two of them stopped walking and Shikamaru leaned over to see what was currently occupying them. Both were hidden beneath an awning, but after a few seconds, continued into the open. Their pace continued and Shikamaru went back to following.

Ino gave a non-committal grunt. "I've had not great ones, but they all have been decent. And the ones I stay with have all been great."

Temari laughed.

"I think you should dump him," Ino said. "Start sleeping with someone else."

"There is no one else right now." Shikamaru bit his tongue. "In Suna, sure. But I'm stationed here for eight more months and these days all the men around my age seem to be taken."

"Hm, well, I guess you're right. Even Choji has a girlfriend... there is Sai?"

Temari laughed loudly. "I'd rather do it myself than fuck Sai."

Shikamaru could feel the blood painting his cheeks and neck at the image of Temari touching herself. It wasn't something he'd really thought about before. He wasn't a lewd person normally. Not prudish in any sense, very straightforward usually, but never so immensely drawn to any perversion.

Suddenly the thought of Temari masturbating was rivaling the thought of him fucking her. Of course, he was available, and Shikamaru could snap Ino's neck right now, but that was beside the point. He was caught fifty-fifty between wanting Ino to acknowledge that Shikamaru was a perfectly eligible bachelor whom got on with Temari and had maintained a healthy (or at least, climactic) sex life, and wanting Temari to break up with this guy and then just do the deed herself.

Both ideas turned him on immensely and he honestly couldn't tell which was better.

Rationally, he knew it was better to fuck her. But that also could result in something brilliant or could ruin a perfectly comfortable friendship. And her touching herself didn't really ruin anything did it? Maybe a perfectly good pair of pants, but that did little harm.

"Would you rather do it yourself than have your boyfriend do it?"

Temari gave another non-verbal answer and Shikamaru burned this time with the question left in the air on his end.

"Does he go down on you?"

"He used to. He always wants to, but at this point, I'd rather just get the sex over with."

Shikamaru's sigh of exasperation at the current situation was too loud, and both Temari and Ino stopped talking for a second, but quickly carried on.

"Well you know, Kiba loves oral sex. He has this one technique where he kind of rolls..."

That was enough for Shikamaru.

There was only so much he take from Ino. And as she continued to speak of the length of Kiba's tongue, Shikamaru became painfully aware that imagining sex with Temari was not worth imagining sex with Kiba and Ino. Without any more hesitation, Shikamaru turned around and leapt from rooftop to rooftop until he was well out of range of their voices.

Regardless of their new distance though, Shikamaru's chest—and every now and then, groin—continued to burn well into the next week.


It was a surprise though when Temari showed up at his door thirteen days later.

"What are you doing here?" He'd asked.

She leaned into the doorframe, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Took you long enough."

"What are you talking about?"

Temari shrugged. "I was tired of waiting."

He frowned.

"Well," she said, stepping closer and forcing him to sidestep so she could enter. She walked into his apartment and glanced around before turning to face him, "do you want to fuck me or what?"

Shikamaru gaped. "Wh— what?" And then, after it hit him: "how long did you know?"

"Long enough."

Shikamaru wondered how apparent he'd been. He thought he'd covered his tracks well... Slowly, his ears turned pink. It was a rare thing for him to feel embarrassed, and truthfully, he hadn't ever really felt as such since childhood. But Temari brought certain things out in him.

"Ino thinks it's hilarious. She's told practically everyone."

He skansed his eyes down and muttered, "bitch."

"So," Temari asked after a second, "what are you going to do?"

Shikamaru didn't have to think twice.


well. next up— assassins au. yeah baby.

idk how this turned out. i didn't know how to end it. anyway.

and remember to read my new ShikaTema story "station x". i put more effort into it than any story yet!

PLEASE REVIEW!