This is for my SmileRose! I gave myself and hour to kill Elena and this I what I came up with. Damn Elena is a bitch!
stood over my pale and lifeless body I realized what I had become. I never saw myself as evil, I always saw myself as a survivor or victor. I adapted and thrived with nothing and made a life full of wealth and luxury. And now I actually am nothing.
The Seattle wilderness is a vast place and I have no idea where I am. There is ice on the ground and my dead body is amongst the jagged rocks and debris. My hair is matted mess, caked in blood and dirt and brown papery leaves. My hands bound behind me with cable ties and my left shoulder looks distorted. At some point in my struggle for my freedom it got dislocated but I can't remember when. It all happened so quickly and the longer I stay here the more faded the memory of my death becomes while the memories of my life grow stronger.
My blue eyes are open to the cold night sky above me. I should not have had that last eye lift, I didn't realized how puppet like I was beginning to look. I has my mothers eyes, a fact my father was always so ready to remind me of. Over the years my eyes became the most hated part of my body. Oddly there is more life in them now then there ever was when I was living.
I am naked with the exception of a black collar and a red scarf that was once over my eyes but now dangles around my throat. I see my body for what it is now with out any real attachment or vanity. Just the facts. My belly has sagged a bit along with my breasts but you can still see the evidence every sit-up and every plank I endured through at the hands if my trainer. The skin is smooth and thankfully still free of stretch marks. I was luckily to never carry a child and destroy my one true asset. My long legs are covered on cuts and bruises, my knees oozing congealed blood. My freshly waxed pussy exposed. I was beautiful once, stunning even and some how life, age and circumstance dull your shine.
The rain starts to fall and slowly all the blood and dirt gets washed away and I shine once more. I can feel this pull on my being, urging me somewhere but I don't want to leave my body out here alone. Someone will find me and I will just wait until they do.
If I think back to how I got here I have only myself to blame. All of my years of treachery lead me to this final moment.
I stood before the mirror and slowly applied my make up with razor precision. Today I must be perfect. He must see me how I once was so I can wield my power over him once more. Face cream, serum,primer, concealer, foundation, powder, blush and contour, highlighter, eyeliner, mascara, grey eyeshadow for my lids, pearly white for the brow bone, lip liner and lip stick, blot and reapply. I go to my suit case not wanting to hang my clothes in the moth infested closet of the motel. I pull out a set of black lace panties edged with red satin ribbon and its matching semi cup bra. It makes my breasts look high and full so that they spill out of my black silk button down in just the right way. I attach the black silk stockings to the red garter belt and ease on my black leather pencil skirt. My pumps are high and stacked black suede Jimmy Choos and the hurt when I walk but I take pleasure in the pain. I feel like I am putting on my armor and going into battle. The war that has been raging on between Christian Grey and me must come to an end and I have finally figured out how to do it. It takes over two hours to get ready but each step brings me closer to perfection and closer to my goal. As I walk out the door I grab my sunglasses even though it is an over cast day and my black Hermes bag.
I sent him an email asking for an appointment to discuss my now defunct salons and to get some closure. He took them apart piece by piece and sold everything down to the blow dryers to my competition. It was a hateful vengeful thing to do, he did learn from the best after all but it stung more then I would ever let him know. I had done so much for Christian over the years. If not for me he would cease to exist at all. How quickly he forgets. I will remind him.
He agreed to the meeting with out a fight and I had this feeling he missed me too. We had been lovers and friends for years and years how could he not miss me a little.
I walked into Grey House with my head held high. Sure I was broke, an out cast in my circle of friends, and had no place to live but I looked like a million buck and today was going to be the beginning.
I walked into his office and there he sat behind his desk looking at me with hate in his eyes. I felt sick to my stomach but I would not let it show. I squared off my shoulders and kept my face as neutral and impassive as possible.
"Elena." He is using his Dom voice which is funny considering I am the one who gave it to him. I take off my jacket slowly revealing my outfit and I don't get the reaction from him that I am hoping for. Undeterred I sit down and cross my legs leaning forward just a bit.
"How have you bee..."
"I have no time for small talk and manipulations Elena. Say what you came to say." He leans back in his chair oozing arrogance and it takes every ounce of Domme training to not rear up and scratch is eyes out. My seduce tactic is not going to work. That little bitch wife of his has made a mess of everything. I think quickly on my feet and realize that honest is the only way to go. I can use honesty to manipulate just as easily as sex or a lie.
"You don't have to be so rude to me Christian. I know we are not friends anymore and I am to blame for that but...you can show me an little bit of respect." His face softens for a brief second and I know I can make this work for me. "Look I need your help."
"You've got to be kidding me Elena."
"You win okay, you ruined me and you made your point. I was wrong okay. I admit it but I have nothing left. I am living in motel off the highway. No friends no family. Nothing." My voice cracks and its not even an act.
"That is all your doing Elena. I warned you..."
"My doing? You sold my salons, called in all my loans. I lost everything."
"Call Lincoln. Or Isaac? Don't bother me with this shit."
"I have,I did. They want nothing to do with me. Please just a loan. Something to get me started somewhere fresh."
"I can't help you. I won't help you. I am not that fifteen year old boy anymore. You can't maneuver me to your whims and wills. Brainwash me into thinking pain and suffering were substitutes for love and happiness. You took a broken child an made him a shell of man. And then tried tried to destroy the happiness and love that came into my life because it threatened you and your perceived position. I am sorry that you find yourself with nothing but its what you deserve."
"You smug bastard! Look around you... Do think that any of this would exist if not for me? Do you think for one second that fifteen year old boy would have grown into this man I I didn't whip him into shape. Please Christian, you would be in jail right now if not for me. Your temper and your inabilities would have been a one way ticket to lock up. You should be thanking me but instead you shun me like a sub?! Do think Ana would love you if she really knew you like I do? She wouldn't, she would run for the hills if she saw you the way I do. I never judged. Never. I respected you. I taught you. I molded you." He
Stands up from his desk with such speed that his chair goes flying backwards. I feel a surge if excitement because this is the man I know and love full of anger and rage. This is the real Christian Grey and he is just dying to get out.
"ENOUGH!" I can feel his hot breath on my face as I stand breathlessly before him my chest heaving in anticipation. "I agreed to see you because you requested closure. We have it now Elena. We are done. If you contact me or any member of my family again you will live to regret it." I reach up to touch his shoulders but he grabs my by my wrists. I have missed his touch and it is over too soon as he pushes me away and I stumble backwards. I am able to catch myself and thankfully don't fall.
"Please don't do this." He was my last hope. With out his help I am finished. "Please I will do anything for you anything. No one needs to even know." I kneel on the floor before him in the stance I know he loves head down hands on thighs. It is the lowest moment of my life because I know that If I walk out this door empty handed I will never be allowed in again.
"Get up Elena now!" I stay put hoping this last ditch effort gets me what I want. "NOW!" I look up and the coldness in his glare send a chill to my spine. I manage to get up gracefully and grab my bag and coat. As I make my way to the door I turn and watch has he sits back in his chair.
"You will pay for this Christian. You know that anger has always fueled me more than anything else. If nothing else today gave me that."
I reverted to the one thing I had left. My body. I became a Domme for hire, whipping and beating accountants, local politicians, truck drivers in to submission. I built a small business with a loan I procured though blackmail, photos of myself and a congressman. It took two years and more hard work then you can imagine to build back a fraction of my previous wealth but the oldest profession in the world got that way for a reason. I had a staff of six subs and two Dommes. I was pulling in thirty grand a month and that's when I began putting my plan of revenge into action. It was simple really, destroy what Christian loves most...Ana.
The best laid plans never got their footing because I am here, dead on the ground. I needed some strings pulled to enact my plan so I called upon my congressman. I had the photos and the leverage, he had the contact and the connections. I never thought in a million years he would use those connections against me.
My skin has withered away, bugs and animals helping the process along and the summer sun has bleach my bones. I still feel this pull, up or down I am not sure. Somehow I think down, there is no forgiveness or redemption for a person like me. A molester of children, a would be murderer... So stay here and watch the seasons change reliving my memories over and over and over again because there is no rest for the wicked.