The Sailors of Nerima: A Nabiki's Heartache Omake / Parody

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by Ryo_Oki

"[email protected]"

Disclaimer: Warning this is a very silly parody of my Nabiki's
Heartache story. This is set in a "slightly" different universe
that that of the main story. What happens here will have no
baring on the original story or its later chapters.



Under a nondescript house in the Tokyo province of Nerima dwells a
being of great evil. A force so Malevolent, even the staunchest defenders of
justice quake at the mere mention of his name. He is known by many titles, most
not repeatable in public. This fearsome cruel being is most commonly known as....


THE PANDA MAN

The being in question sits at a plain and rather large desk. Its head rests
on its black and white fore paws in a position very similar to its anime hero, one
Gendo Ikari. (Told you he was an evil and twisted being didn't I.) The creature
looks out into the darkened room. The only light that exists is that which is
coming from some very strange looking black monoliths in the room. One is shaped
like a bra, another is shaped like a small duck, still another is rather non-
descript, but it appears to be crying. The final too monoliths are very close
together and appear to be blushing at each other. The first one resembles a
wooden practice sword, the second a bouquet of roses.

"This meeting will come to order.", a sigh held up by the giant fuzzy
black and white being said.

"These meeting would be over quicker if you would just speak for once
and stop using those signs, Panda Man.", a voice from the sword shaped
monolith spoke out.

"Do not be too harsh with him brother dear. For him not speaking means
that I can listen to your dulcet tones more often.", the rose shaped monolith
spoke out.

"And I your sister dear.", the sword shaped monolith spoke.

Sounds of much kissing soon emanated from both monoliths causing all
others to practically scream out, "EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW", and turn quite
green in the process.

"How can you do something so vile, so against the laws of nature.", said
a sign held by Panda man.

"Because we are EVIL... EVIL, I tell you.", the sword and rose monoliths
yelled out before beginning to laugh hysterically as everyone else sweat dropped.

"We have gathered here together to once again battle our hated foes. Those
trio of do-gooders who have been a constant thorn in our collective side. You all
know of who I speak.", the panda signs read.

"Uh.... the Powerpuff Girls?", the duck monolith said.

"No you moron!! I am speaking of our arch foes.... The Sailors of Nerima.",
the panda sigh said.

"Old pervert you shall be the first of my 'generals' sent against the
Sailor. Return in victory and you shall be rewarded with this: Backstage passes
to the Venus swimwear competition in Nerima auditorium. Fail, and you will be
punished.", the panda signs said as the bra shaped monolith began to drool ,then
shuddered when it realized what the price for failure would be.

"Soon victory will be ours, and we will be able to conquer this ward, then
all of Tokyo muh ha hah ha ha ha.", read the panda signs as the bra shaped
monolith faded from sight soon followed by the others.

Unnoticed by all, a small black animal was hiding in the corner of the room
carefully listening to what everyone had said.

"So Panda, you once again try and pit your pitiful forces against the
Forces of good. You shall not succeed this time. It is time for the sailors to
awaken again.", the strange little creature thought to itself.

"I wonder how he will react when he finds out that he will be the first
called to duty. No matter, Ranma you will embrace your destiny, and it shall
amuse me greatly. I shall have my revenge for all the time you have embarrassed
me. Of course this is all for the good of the Silver Star Kingdom, my
revenge is only an added benefit.", the creature thought to itself as it
smiled evilly.

As it stepped out of the corner, one could see that the creature in
question was a small black pig with a strange star shaped tattoo on its
forehead. The being took two more steps then seemed to fade into nothing.

As the panda made its way up the stairs from its secret lair (i.e.
basement of its home), the door at the top of the stairs opened revealing a
very attractive red headed woman in her early 30's.

"Genma, what are you doing down here, why are you a panda now.", the
beautiful woman said.

"Ah No-chan.....One of the pipes was loose, and I was fixing it.... I
became wet while working on it... Yes that's it.", Genma panda's signs said.

"Well hurry it up, lunch is almost ready, and I have a special dessert
planned for after.", the woman said in a very seductive voice as she walked
back up the stairs. "But you had better change first."

The panda stared at the retreating form of his wife with a lustful
expression on its face.

"We shall now do the dance of joy!!", a panda sign read as the panda began
doing a strange dance.



"Ite!!!", the panda thought as it collapsed in pain wondering what foul
being could have been so cruel as to strike him in such a place.

Five minutes later the young woman once again descended the stairs looking
for her wayward husband. When she reached the bottom, she saw a large
panda twitching in pain, holding on to a sensitive part of its anatomy.

"Husband dear, did you damage yourself again.", the attractive redhead
said.

The panda could only twitch slightly in response.

Grabbing the large panda by its ear, the young woman dragged the creature
up the stairs and threw it onto the couch without effort.

"Now husband, what I am do to. I have needs that are not being fulfilled.
Oh what is a shy young woman to do?", the redhead asked.

"Shy?!?!?, compared to what??", a panda sign said.

"Oh I know.", the redhead said as the left the living room and skipped
down the hallway to a closed door.

"Oh Taro-chan!", her voice sang out.

"Oh god!", a voice from behind the door said.

"Taro-chan will you help your 'auntie' out with a little problem.", the
redhead said as she heard furniture being stacked against the door.

"Sorry, I am tired.......and I have a headache.", the voice from behind
the door said.

The door was suddenly thrown open sending furniture and 'Taro-chan'
flying. He had hoped to have thrown out the window, but poor 'Taro-chan's'
luck had sent him flying toward the bed where he landed face up spread
eagled on it.

"Now that is more like it Taro-chan.", the woman purred seductively.

"Well, Nodoka-san fancy meeting you here.", the boy said nervously.

"Tsk. Tsk. You know you are supposed to call me No-chan.", Nodoka said
as she let her house coat slip off and pool at her feet reveal a very short
and somewhat transparent 'French maid' outfit.

"After all it was I who found you outside those weeks ago in such poor
condition and nursed you back to health. So if you do not show your poor
'auntie' a little gratitude today I may have to punish you.", Nodoka said
as she pulled a feather duster out of nowhere.

Outside the Saotome house and for miles around a voice screaming in
holy terror(tm) could be heard.


What is that dear readers? You are confused by the strange events now
taking place in a formerly familiar setting. What is going on you say. Why is
everyone acting so strangely? For the answers to these questions true-believers
we must turn back the hands of time to an event that occurred five days
previous. An event that started not with bang but with a 'bwee'.



In a forest just outside of Nerima, Ryoga Habiki sat alone under a large
pine tree. He was presently a small black pig and quite depressed. Normally, he
wouldn't be quite so upset about his present condition, but last night in a freak
rain storm he had lost his backpack, containing all his equipment. Even if he
could find some hot water to change back, he would still be alone and naked
in the middle of nowhere.

"Curse my life...always alone, have to worry about turning into an entree
constantly..... Damn Ranma..... All his fault..... All he has to worry about
is turning into a girl.... A very cute girl.... with very large... Arrgggghhhh,
what is wrong with me, I will not fall for his girl form again..", Ryoga thought
to himself.

"Do you need help little one?", a voice from behind him said.

"Damn, why can't I ever wallow in my own self pity without being disturbed....
Wait a minute... Who said that?", Ryoga thought as he turned around to see who
spoke.

As he turned around Ryoga saw a very beautiful young woman in her late 20's.
She had long blond hair styled into 2 long pony tails and deep light blue eyes.
Ryoga could not help but blush upon seeing her.

"The world needs your help Ryoga Habiki", the woman said as she bent down
to pick him up and held him close to her.

"My help??? What is going on???", Ryoga thought to himself.

"My name is Queen Serendipity of the Silver Star Kingdom and I need your
help in defeating my evil counterpart, Queen Berylium of the Black Star Kingdom.
Even now she is in the process of awakening a great evil upon this land.", the
queen said to a shocked looking little pig.

"Oh great, she's insane. Just my luck to get 'rescued' by a nutcase.",
Ryoga thought as he tried to break free of the crazy woman's grip.

"I am not surprised that you do not believe me, but perhaps this will
change your mind.", the woman said as she pointed her hand at a nearby
empty spot on the ground. A beam of light shot forth and Ryoga's missing
backpack reappeared, looking brand new.

The queen let Ryoga go who ran up to the back pack and was amazed that
all the equipment and clothes inside looked at new as the backpack itself.

"Now then there is one more thing that must be done.", the queen said
as a silver bolt of energy flew out from her hand and stuck the pig in the
head, causing a star shaped tattoo to appear, as well as a silver necklace
around the pig's neck.

"Owww, that hurt!", Ryoga pig said as his eyes went wide realizing that
he could now speak in pig form. "I can talk."

"Of course. It would not do for the advisor to the Sailors to only be
able to grunt at them. As long as the symbol on your head is not covered you
will be able to speak. Wear the necklace at all times as well, for it disables
your family's 'curse of the wanderer'.", the queen said.

"What sailors are you talking about. I'm not very good around boats or
water you know.", Ryoga said.

"Watch and observe.", the queen said as a silvery mirrored portal appeared
in front of her and Ryoga.

The mirror flashed briefly and showed images of three young women in
multicolored sailor fuku, fighting very strange looking enemies, including a
panda??

"Wait a minute. I am a small and cute talking animal, who is going to
be in charge of training a bunch of fuku wearing young girls... Kami sama!!,
I am in the middle of a magical girl anime.", Ryoga pig said out loud in
horror.

"You just figured that out.", the queen said sarcastically with a smile
on her face.

"Do I have to do this?", the pig whined.

"No, but if you agree, I will grant you one wish.", the queen said.

"Any wish?", the pig said with hearts in his eyes.

"I can not make you a god, I will not kill anyone for you, and I will
not make anyone fall in love with you. Beyond, we'll talk.", the queen said
to a slightly disappointed pig. "Besides you can do much better than that
violent girl Akane."

"How did you...", the pig tried to say.

"I read your mind.", the queen said casually. "Now I will show you who
the first of the sailors will be.", the queen said as the portal brought
up an image of a very familiar dojo.

The image changed to show the interior of the dojo, where a very familiar
pig-tailed boy was now practicing his family's 'art'.

"That's odd, the sailors are supposed to be female. Why is the portal
focusing on him.", the queen said as she noticed her advisor now rolling
around on the ground laughing its porcine little head off.

The queen continued to watch the portal as a voice out of view
shouted out "cloudburst" and a small rain cloud!?! formed over the boy's
head. As the rain began to fall the queen saw the boy turn into a petite
but very buxom red headed girl.

"How yummy... I mean strange.", the queen said, as she licked her lips.

"Great, I'm working for a pervert.", the pig said.

"So the boy turns into a girl when splashed with water?", the queen asked.

"Yes, its a Jusenkyo curse like mine.", the pig said.

"Well, we have little choice in the matter. If the portal says that he is
to be the first sailor, then he must accept his destiny.", the queen said.

"Now will you do the task that I have assigned to you?", the queen asked
little pig beside her.

"Sigh.....Alright, I'll help.", Ryoga said.

The queen placed her palm against the pig's head. There was a brief flash
of light, then a look of remembrance showed itself in the pig's eyes.

"You now have the memories of all your past lives. You now know what must
be done.", the queen said.

"Yes, my queen and I must hurry. For now, even as we speak, I sense her
awakening the generals. When that is complete, the Panda shall awaken.", the
pig said.

The queen snapped her fingers and a bucket of hot water appeared over
Ryoga's head and drenched him, causing a very embarrassed Ryoga to set the
record for dressing.

"No need to hurry on my account.", the queen said lustfully.

"Pervert.", Ryoga mumbled.

"Lets see how you like it being alone for 3000 years.", the queen said
with a tear falling from right eye.

"Sorry, I didn't realize...", Ryoga tried to say as he found himself
in a warm and friendly hug.

"I meant what I said earlier. You can do much better than that Akane girl.
After your mission is over I'll show you how much better.", the queen said as
Ryoga blushed deeply then disappeared.

What neither of them had noticed though, was a small silver necklace left
behind on the ground. It appeared to have fallen off when Ryoga had changed
forms. Oh well, who said being a hero for love and justice was easy.

Meanwhile at the Tendo dojo:

"NABIKI!!!!"

"Yes Ranma-chan", a cute young brunette with a pageboy hairstyle said
with a devious smile on her face.

"Its great that you like practicing your magic, but I would appreciate
it if you wouldn't use me as the practice dummy.", a young, an now very wet,
female redhead said.

I'm sorry Ranma-chan, I couldn't help myself. You look so sexy the
way you are now.", Nabiki said while pulling the redhead close and planting
a slow wet kiss on her lips.

"Honestly is that all you two do all day.", a certain uncute tomboy
said as she walk into the dojo.

"Well we use to do more, but ever since Kasumi walked in on us one
time we felt it best to save the fun stuff for when everyone else went
to bed.", Nabiki said as she stared lustfully at her fiancee.

"Oh Ranma..."

"Oh Nabiki..."

"Oh my stomach", Akane said.


Meanwhile somewhere in Nebraska:

"Damn it, how can I be lost. I thought that stupid necklace was supposed
to prevent this from happening.", Ryoga said as he realized he was no longer
wearing it. "Stupid blond-haired bimbo, forgot to make the necklace change
sizes when I change. Honestly, she hasn't changed since the Silver Millennium.",
Ryoga thought as he continued to review the memories of his past lives.

It would take Ryoga 5 days to track down the home of the horrible being
know as the Panda Man. Unfortunately during this time queen Berylium had, had
time to awaken the generals and the Panda. Now Ryoga, or Luna-P, as he preferred
to be called for some reason, had very little time to assemble the Sailors of
Nerima.

"Kami-sama, what a name. The Sailors of Nerima. Sounds like the title
of one of those etchi movies Akane-san likes to watch.", Ryoga thought to
himself as he finally appeared in the basement, I mean secret lair of the
Panda Man.



Ryoga reappeared on the lawn in front of the Tendo Dojo. For some reason
he still got lost if he walked someplace, but he could always teleport to a place
if he had been there before. The little pig's form began to blur and Ryoga
resumed his human form with his backpack now sitting beside him.

"Well at least she partially fixed my curse. Not bad for a bleached-blond
airhead.", the voice of Luna-P's ancestors said in Ryoga's head.

Ryoga began to dig through his backpack and pulled out a small crystal
wand that was glowing red.

"Ranma had better accept this, or he is going to eat it. I want my wish.",
Ryoga thought to himself.

Ryoga was trying to decide if he should chance walking into the house and
getting lost or should he try appearing in there. Of course he didn't
want to just appear in front of someone, that was rude. That was something
Ranma would do. Maybe if he was lucky Akane would lead him in.

As he was standing there looking confused Kasumi came out of the house
and lead him to Ranma's room. As he entered Ranma's room, he noticed Ranma in
girl form, again, snuggled up against Nabiki. Even since they had admitted that
they loved each other they spend almost every second together. It was really
quite disgusting, especially since Ryoga knew he could barely still speak to
Akane without feeling faint.

"So what do you want Ryoga?", Ranma-chan said.

"Um I have something for you.", Ryoga said nervously as he reached into
his backpack.

"What is it?", Ranma-chan said as he leaned over to get a better look,
accidentally flashing her cleavage at Ryoga, almost causing him to faint.

As Ryoga was pulling out the wand, he noticed the second of the three
wants he also was also glowing and was pointing toward Nabiki.

"Well actually, I have a 'gift' for Nabiki as well.", Ryoga said as he
handed the red wand to Ranma-chan and the blue one to Nabiki.

Nabiki noticed a small ice symbol on the top of the wand engraved in
gold?!?. She took a closer look at the wand and noticed that the blue part
wasn't crystal, it was a large sapphire, 5 inches long and over and inch
across. Ranma's looked like a ruby. These were worth a fortune.

"Ryoga how did you ever come across these?", Nabiki said in awe as Ranma
looked on in confusion.

"Um....Its kind of a strange story.", Ryoga said.

Ryoga told them of his meeting with the queen, how they are going to
be the defenders of love and justice in Nerima, and about the evil Panda man.

Ranma and Nabiki looked at each other, looked at Ryoga, the back to each
other again before the broke down laughing rolling on the floor.

"Ohhhh, the evil Panda Man.", Nabiki cooed.

"Snicker..Snort... Queen Serendipity.....Bah hah aha ha. Are you sure you
haven't been practicing the breaking point with your head again.", Ranma said
between laughs.

"Fine be that way, but if you don't help you wont get your wishes.",
Ryoga said.

"Wishes?!?", Nabiki and Ranma seemed to say at the same time.

"For anything you want, almost.", Ryoga said.

"I still don't believe it.", Ranma said.

"Fine then watch this.", Ryoga said as his form began to blur and shrink
into Luna-P

"Now do you believe me??", Luna-P said as Ranma and Nabiki stared at him
then fainted.

"#$*%&#@", said Luna-P.

"Wake up...Wake up....", Luna-P said as he jumped up and on Ranma-chan.

"What a weird dream.", Nabiki and Ranma said as they woke up then stared
at the pig with the silver star on its forehead.

"I don't want to be a 'magical girl'.", Ranma whined.

"You have no choice. You and Nabiki were chose to fight off the evil
forces of Queen Berylium.", the little pig said in all seriousness.

"We might help out if you serious about granting wishes.", Nabiki said.

"I will not be the one granting the wishes, the queen will. You will
get your wish once the Panda has been defeated.

"Panda....You don't think it could be pop could you?", Ranma said to
Ryoga.

"Doubtful.. The Panda is rumored to be quite intelligent and skillful.
You father is more of the dumb evil minion type.", Ryoga said as Ranma and
Nabiki snickered.

"Now do you accept?", Luna-P asked Ranma and Nabiki.

"Fine, what do I have to do.", Ranma said.

"Hold up the wand and say the first things that comes to your mind.",
Luna-P said.

"I love you Nabiki.", Ranma said, causing Nabiki to blush and repeat
the sentiment.

Luna-P's eye began to twitch.

"Oh alright, I'll be serious.", Ranma said.

"Neko Star Power Makeup"

There was a bright flash as Ranma-chan was lifted above the ground, her
clothes exploding off of her in the typical etchi magical girl tradition,
causing poor Luna-P to drool.

A black body suit with orange pipings appears on Ranma followed by
black and orange calf length boots and elbow length gloves. A black miniskirt
with orange pipings also appeared with an orange bow forming over Ranma-chan's
chest.

Ryoga was prepared for the costume to appear, but not for what happened
Next. Two small cats ears were now on top of Ranma-chan's head and a large
black and orange stripped tail formed above her rear. Finally Ranma's body was
covered by a very fine layer of light yellow fur.

"So that's what the bimbo meant when she said that Ranma's curses would
assimilate with him.", Ryoga thought.

"Miiiyyyyaahhh, the catgirl of love and justice Sailor Neko is here,
beware forces of evil.", Ranma-chan said before clasping her hand over
her mouth in horror at what she had just said.

Ryoga noticed Ranko-neko glaring at him evilly.

"I'm so dead. He's going to turn me into pork roast.", Luna-P thought.

"Ranma, look in the mirror.", Nabiki said in a stunned voice.

Ranko-Neko looked in the mirror and almost screamed in terror.

"RYOGA NO BAKA!!!!", Sailor Neko said, as a large mithril mallet
formed in her hands.

"Correction, make that Spam.", Luna-P thought as the hammer came down.



"Urgle..owie...ite.", said the porcine pancake.

Luna-P suddenly resumed her old shape with a loud 'pop'.

"Hmmm....I thought that only happened in kids anime or manga", Nabiki
thought to herself.

Nabiki moved over toward the still agitated Sailor Neko and began to scratch
her behind the ears. Ranko-Neko responded by wrapping herself around Nabiki and
purring loudly.

"Ohhhhhh, that feels good, just like a large furry vibr...er..yeah...",
Nabiki said while blushing.

"What was that Nabiki-chan.", Ranma purred quietly in Nabiki's ear.

"Nothing Ranko-chan, nothing.", Nabiki sighed as snuggled closer
to Ranko-Neko.

"Ah hem.. ... Sigh... Would you two stop that already!!",
Luna-P screamed to get the two girls attention.

The two girls separated and looked at the pig.

"You still have to transform Nabiki.", Luna-P said.

Nabiki looked at the blue wand, that she had earlier set down, warily.

"Is this going to turn me into a catgirl as well?", Nabiki asked.

"I don't really know, but I don't believe so since you do not have a
feline side like Ranma does.", Luna-P said.

"Ranko-Neko always thought Nabiki was pretty 'catty'.", she said while
grinning at Nabiki.

"Like Ranma did, just say the first thing that comes into your mind
Nabiki.", the pig said.

As Nabiki raised the wand above her head she failed to notice Lilac and
Kasumi coming in the door to investigate the earlier yelling. Both froze at
the site of Sailor Neko. Kasumi's 'Oh My!', was covered up by Nabiki yelling
out:

"Ice-Queen Star Power Makeup"

Like Ranma before her, there was a bright flash as Nabiki was lifted
above the ground and surrounded by a pale blue light as her old clothes
exploded off of her, much to Sailor Neko's delight. An ice blue body suit
appeared on Nabiki with darker blue piping. Two dark blue calf length boots
and two dark blue elbow length gloves appeared as well. A dark blue mini
skirt appeared as well as a dark blue bow over her chest.

"The Ice-Queen of love and justice, Sailor Ice is here. Beware all evil
doers.", Nabiki said, much to her shock and embarrassment.

As the light show ended, Nabiki felt someone behind her. Turning around
she saw Kasumi and Lilac staring at her.

"Oh my!", Kasumi repeated again before fainting.

"That girl definitely needs a larger vocabulary.", Luna-P quipped.

"So you really are Sailor Scouts, not just waitresses in silly
costumes?? How wonderful!!", exclaimed Lilac. "Oh, and Nabiki dear, you do
realize you were briefly naked during that power-up sequence. I know Ranma
noticed.", Lilac said while pointing to Sailor-Neko who was trying very
hard not to drool.

Nabiki turned to look at a very red-faced Sailor Neko. Walking up to her
Nabiki leans in and says, "Hmmm.... You know Ranko, there is one thing I am
curious about."

"What's that?", Ranko-Neko whispers.

"How much of your body is really covered by fur?", Sailor Ice said rather
lustfully.

"Want to go to the furo and find out?", Sailor Neko said.

As Sailor Neko and Sailor Ice were about the leave the room, the two
warriors of love, justice, and apparently extreme horniness, were interrupted by
the sound a pig clearing its throat behind them.

"As much as I approve of my Sailors 'bonding' with each other you two
still have to locate the third Sailor.", Luna-P said.

Luna-P pulled a small compass out of the air and handed it to Sailor Neko.

"Use this to track down the third scout, then press the center stud and
I will appear there.", Luna-P said.

"Are you sure you won't get lost piggy?", Sailor Neko snickered.

"No, and change back before you go. We will have to keep a low profile
until all three of you are together.", the annoyed pig said as the two Sailors
changed back to their normal clothes and left the house in search of their fellow
Sailor.

Luna-P looked up at Lilac and Kasumi and said, " I would appreciate if you
do not mention what you have seen here today. With their new powers, Ranma and
the others will attract the attention of very powerful enemies, who would be
quite happy to use their friends and relatives against them, so I ask you to
tell no one. Not your husband Lilac, and especially not Genma or Akane. Genma
would only try and profit from the situation," "Or sell them to his new
mistress.", the pig said the last part silently. "Akane, as much as she means
well would also get in the way. She doesn't have the skill or power to help.",
Luna-P said in a sad voice.

"You still like her don't you Ryoga.", Lilac said.

"I can not think about that now. I have other duties. When this is all
over....maybe I can do something about that.", Luna-P said.

Luna-P sighs and sits back on the bed waiting for her two scouts to reach
their destination before he can teleport over.

Lilac was about to leave with Kasumi when she notices the girl fidgeting
as if something is bothering her.

"Is something the matter Kasumi-chan, you seem to be nervous?", Lilac said.



"Mother may I ask a question?", Kasumi said to Lilac.

"What is it daughter?", Lilac asked.

"Why is everyone so....ummm.. concerned with sex now. It wasn't this way
in the main story?", Kasumi asked.

"Because Kasumi dear, in omakes like this certain character traits are
exaggerated, usually in terms of violence or sex, sometimes both.", Lilac said.

"Oh my, really??", Kasumi said.

"Yes in fact in some stories, you are portrayed as a sex-starved, leather
wearing dominatrix.", Lilac said.

"Oh dear!!", Kasumi said starting to turn green.

"And in still others, you and your sisters are portrayed as having a
rather close relationship, if you know what I mean.", Lilac said.

"Oh shit!!", said Kasumi as she fainted.

"Well put Kasumi-chan, well put.", Lilac said as she scooped Kasumi up in
her arms and left the room leaving a very confused pig sitting on the floor.

Said pig soon fainted with a nosebleed, as a vision of Kasumi in leather
covered in whip cream and chocolate sauce went through its dirty little mind.

A few hours later Nabiki and Ranma were still wandering through Nerima
in search of the missing sailor. It seems the 'tracking' device performed
about as well as a used yugo. The device even once lead them to a scrawny little
blond haired pigtailed girl. The girl could only have been about 14 and clumsy
as hell.

"As if a girl like that could even by the one they are looking for.",
thought Nabiki.

On the other hand, the time spent 'exploring' "Sailor Yuri Con", was most
enjoyable. Nabiki wondered in the Sailor Pluto and Saturn look-alikes they met
would be available for a little "4-play" with her and Ranko-chan later on.

(Author's Note: Told you omakes were more etchi that standard fics :, and
no the author can not tell you what went on at said convention. This fic has
to maintain its PG rating after all :)

Finally the device seemed to be functioning properly. As Ranma and Nabiki
followed the directions the device gave them, they soon found themselves in front
of a very familiar restaurant.

"Why am I not surprised to end up here.", Ranko-chan said.

"Well if the third scout turns out to be who I think it is, at least we
will not have to worry about getting along with each other.", Nabiki smirked.

As they entered the restaurant they saw Shampoo in her imitation sailor
scout uniform rapidly moving between tables and trying to avoid be groped,
pinched, or fondled by a variety of perverted salary men.

As Shampoo was about to throw one particularly rude customer through the
front door, she saw her two friends enter, and through the customer out an
open window instead.

"Shampoo, if you're not busy can we speak to you for a while?", Ranma
asked Shampoo.

"Shampoo have to wait till lunch rush is over to take break, or great
grandmother get very cranky.", Shampoo said while avoiding a bowl of ramen
thrown by said cranky great grandmother.

"See what Shampoo mean?", Shampoo said while grinning at her two friends.

Ranma and Nabiki decided to stay till the rush was over and had lunch
while they waited. Ranma was surprised that Nabiki was started to show signs
of Ranma's speed eating technique.

"You know Nabiki, you are starting to eat like pops and I. It must be do
to all the training you have had.", Ranma said while grinning to a horrified
Nabiki.

"How could you say something so
cruel to your fiancee. You are so cold.", Nabiki said while pouting.

"Sorry Nabiki, you taught me too well to fall for that again. Besides
you didn't I was all that cold last night.", Ranma said practically purring.

"Get a room you two.", an agitated duck-boy said as he walked by
carrying food for the other customers.

"Sounds like duck-boy is jealous to me.", Ranko-chan said.

"We could always fix him up with Azusa, or maybe Kodachi.", Nabiki
said while grinning at Mousse.

From across the restaurant Mousse suddenly felt a cold steak go down his
back. Mousse looked around hoping that weird woman with duck fetish wasn't
around again.

"Now I know how the 'lost boy' feels about that Akari girl.", Mousse
thought to himself.

After the rush was over Shampoo lead Ranma and Nabiki to a spare room
upstairs where they could speak in private.

"So what friend Ranma and Nabiki want to talk to Shampoo about?", the
perky amazon asked.

"Well before I can answer that I have to check something first.",
Ranko-chan said as she pulled a green and white crystal wand of a
large bag she was carrying.

The wand began to glow brightly as Ranko-chan held it near Shampoo.

"This is for you Shampoo.", Ranko said as she handed the wand to
Shampoo.

"This is very pretty, but Shampoo no can accept gift. It too
expensive. Crystal costs lots of money Shampoo know.", Shampoo said.

"Umm....actually it's not crystal... Its made out of emeralds and
diamonds.", Ranma whispered to Shampoo.

Shampoo's eyes got really large and she found herself unable to speak.
Ranma could see tears flowing down them.

Ranko and Nabiki pulled out their own wands and showed them to Shampoo.

"Shampoo no understand. How you get these? How you know emerald is
Shampoo's favorite?", Shampoo managed to squeak while now hugging Ranko-chan.

"Shampoo its hard to explain, but these are not just jewelry, they have
another purpose.", Ranko-chan said.

"What's that?", Shampoo said.

"It would be easier to show you.", Ranko said while holding up her wand
and nodding to Nabiki.

"Neko Star Power Makeup"

"Ice-Queen Star Power Makeup"

Shampoo watched as her two friends glowed brightly, their clothes
seeming to explode off of them and reforming into Sailor Scout outfits!!

"Ranma turn into magical cat girl and Nabiki turn into magical
girl?!?", Shampoo said while in shock.

"Now its your turn Shampoo. Hold your wand above your head and say the
first thing that comes to mind.", Nabiki said.

"Amazon Star Power Makeup"

Shampoo's old fuku seemed to explode off of her, much to Ranko's delight,
and be replaced with a silver body suit with a green skirt with gold pipings.
Green elbow length gloves and green calf length boots also appeared. A large
gold bow formed over he chest, with a smaller gold bow appearing at the base
of her back.

As the light show faded Shampoo stood there stunned.

"Shampoo is magical girl now??", she asked.

Ranko and Nabiki nodded.

"Aiyah, Shampoo so happy!!!", she said.



"Can't breathe.....", Sailor Neko said as a magical strengthened Shampoo
practically squeezed the life out of her.

Sailor Amazon let Ranko-Neko go, and glomped onto Nabiki, and surprising
the girl by kissing her.

"I thought you didn't go for this sort of thing.", Sailor Ice said.

"Shampoo normally not care one way or other, but must be so in omake. It
part of rules.", Shampoo said.

"Huh??", Sailor Neko said 'wisely'.

"Number 2 rule in omakes say that all girls either bisexual or closeted
lesbians who enjoy group things. Shampoo know this. She read lots of Sailor
Moon yuris for research.", Sailor amazon said to her shocked fellow sailors.



Everyone turned around to see a small and rather old amazon, now
face faulted a foot into the floor.

Sailor-Neko saw the old elder on the floor and pressed the center
tab on the tracking device summoning their 'advisor' to the scene.

Meanwhile, somewhere is Abu Dhabi, a small pig feels a teleport beacon
activate then fades from the scene to appear near the beacon.

As she stands up Cologne feels a small weight pressed against her head.
Reaching up she pulls a small black and somewhat confused piglet off her
head.

"I bet you are wondering what is going on here.", the pig said to Cologne
as the elder, for the second time today, face-faulted.

"Pig boy can talk in cursed form now?", Sailor Amazon said.

Cologne got up off the floor, looked at the talking pig on the floor,
and decided that from now on Mousse would be the one to sample her new potions
first instead of herself.

"No you are not dreaming or delusional.", the pig said somehow guessing
what she was thinking.

"Might as well play along with it.", Cologne thought to herself.

"Very well then, what is this all about?", Cologne asked, trying to sound
serious and failing miserably.

Luna-P explained to the two amazons who he was, about his meeting with
Queen Serendipity and the responsibilities and challenges that the new Sailors
of Nerima would face.

Cologne sighed softly, turned around and walked out the door muttering
something about duck-boy guinea pigs, as Luna-P stared at her in confusion.
Said confusion was short lived as Shampoo, I mean Sailor Amazon, took that
moment to fall to the floor and start laughing hysterically about how silly
this all was.

Her humor was short lived though as all three scouts heard screams of
feminine outrage come from outside the window. The screams were followed by
a too familiar cry of, "SWEETO."

Sailor Neko's ear stood straight up and she let out a low hiss, as she
leapt to the window and looked out. She saw a small mouse like creature
carrying a large sack and being chased by many women.

"Mousey!!", Sailor Neko exclaimed as she leapt down at the creature
carrying the large sack. She extended her claws and shredded the sack the
'mouse' was carrying.

The shredded sack caused the little pervert to stop in his tracks and
begin to gather up his 'treasures'. Unfortunately, for him, his admirers
caught up to him and began stomping him into the ground.

As he began to pull himself out of the ground the little pervert Happosai
found out just who, or rather what was responsible for him losing his 'silky
darlings'.

"Miyyaaahhh, bad pervert pay for assaulting women.", Sailor Neko said.

"A cat girl!?!", the pervert said in delight as he leapt toward her.



The pervert soon found himself backhanded through a brick wall.

As Happosai removed himself from the rubble, he saw two more girls, in
sailor uniforms no less, now standing beside the catgirl, and he couldn't be
more thrilled.

"So who are you lovely ladies?", the old pervert asked while drooling.

"I am the warrior of love and justice Sailor Amazon", Shampoo said.

"I am the warrior of love and justice Sailor Ice-Queen", Nabiki said.

"Miyaahhh, I am the warrior of love and justice Sailor Neko", Ranko-chan
said.

"And on behalf of the Silver Star Kingdom we will punish you.", all
three said much to their horror.

"So you are the ones' my master wants me to destroy. This shall be easier
than I thought. Come forth Glace Youma.", the old pervert said as a strange
looking creature began to appear.

It looked human, mostly. It appeared to be a young teenage boy in sloppy
clothing carrying a long sword on its belt. The only thing that seemed strange
was the fact that it was about 12 feet tall and was drooling at them with a
disturbing look in its eyes.

The creature seemed to tense up, then attacked with a strange battle cry
of, "Oh pretty girls!!"

The three girls leapt easily out of the way of the creature's clumsy
change. Sailor Neko Flipped over the top of the youma and raked its back with
her chi claws as she went. Two floating bonborrie appeared beside Sailor Amazon.

"Azaka, Kamasaki, attack!!", said Sailor Amazon as her weapons attacked the
youma with multiple lighting bolts on their own.

The youma noticed Sailor Ice-Queen just standing their and was about to attack
her went it noticed the evil smile on her face. A smile that seemed strangely
familiar.

"You have been very bad darling, and I am afraid I must punish you.", she
said pulling an ice covered whip from out of nowhere.

The youma shrieked in terror and began to retreat as Sailor Ice-Queen leapt
at it with a battle cry of, "Call me Queen, oh ho ho ho".

"Scarrrryyyyyy.", Sailor Neko whispered while being carried by Sailor
Amazon, who had found herself carrying a large cat girl after Sailor Ice-Queen
cracked her whip for the first time.



"Oh ho ho ho", said Sailor Ice as the monster was soon whipped into
nothing but a pile of black dust.

"Sailor Amazon seen this someplace before.", Shampoo said as the catgirl
in her arms occasionally opened to eyes to witness the carnage being done
by her teammate.

"So you have defeated my youma, but you shall not defeat my ultimate
technique!", the little pervert exclaimed, as Sailor Ice rejoined her two
teammates.

The little pervert waited for the inevitable response from the sailor
brats. He was show to see that they were ignoring him thought. They were
instead ignoring him. The two human sailors were scratching the ears of the
cat girl, much to her pleasure.

"Hey pay attention when I am threatening you.", the angry little
pervert said, as he was still being ignored. "That is it!! Now you shall pay
for your arrogance. Behold my ultimate attack: The Attack of the Thousand
Moroboshis'."

The air began to vibrate with magic as the air for hundreds of feet all
began to shimmer and many small youma?, began to appear. They looked mostly
human, even more so than the last youma. The were all clones of some teenage
boy, with a blank eyed drooling expression on their faces.

They began to slowly more forward like a bunch of pervert zombies as the
slow trickle of their drooling on the ground added to the background noise.

(How is that for a disgusting mental image :)

One of the creatures leapt forward, glomping onto Sailor Neko's chest
with its hand roaming to places it shouldn't. Sailor Neko began to growl and glow
black as she place both her hands on either side of the creature's head and
twisted sharply. There was a loud 'crack', then the creature was throw back
to its 'brothers' by an enraged Sailor Neko.

"You killed him!!", one of the mini-youma said in shock.

"No one, except my sister Sailors touches me there.", said a angry
Sailor Neko, as the rest of the youmas began to develop nosebleeds
realizing what she had just said.

"For daring to touch me you shall pay the ultimate price.", Sailor Neko
said as she began to rise in the air, a strong wind now blowing around her.

"Uh oh, Sailor Amazon know what come next and it not be pleasant for
pervert youmas and master.", Shampoo said as she grabbed Sailor Ice and
leapt far behind Sailor Neko.

"Darkness beyond twilight,"
"Crimson beyond blood that flows,"

A bright orange glow began in Sailor Neko's hands.

"Buried in the flow of time."
"In thy great name,"
"I pledge myself to darkness."

The glow began to expand and form into a small cone.

"Let all the fools,"
"Who stand in our way,"
"Be destroyed"
"By the power you and I possess."

The glow suddenly exploded into a bright white blast of energy.

"DRAGON SLAVE!"

The energy shot out incinerating all it touched including a little old
pervert. Unfortunately the blast continued in a line for a kilometer past the
old pervert before it explode in a large ball of flame destroying all
non-living matter in a kilometer radius.

For some reason all the people and animals in the blast, except the youmas
were not killed but they were quite blackened with all but two large white eyes
being uncooked. A few had their hair burning like a small torch.

"Heh, I think I overdid it.", Sailor Neko said as she noticed many
townspeople glaring at her angrily.

She grabbed her fellow sailors, who were stilled stunned by what they
had just witnessed, and leapt off into the distance, easily outrunning
the rather annoyed townsfolk, whose homes she had just vaporized, must to her
embarrassment.

"The life of a Sailor is filled with hardship.", Sailor Ice said
sarcastically, as the other two glared at her.

Meanwhile back at the basement, I mean secret lair of the Panda-Man, a
panty-shaped monolith crumbled to dust.

"So the pervert has failed. Well then it is now your turn.", the
Panda said while pointing to a duck-shaped monolith.

(End Side Story / Omake Part 1)


Author's Note:

Why did I write this silly thing you ask. Well the idea popped into my
warped little mind while I was busily trying to level up my Paladin / Sorcerer
in Neverwinter Nights. Since the idea refused to leave my mind, I decided to
write out the first chapter of what I had planned for this omake to see what
everyone thinks of it. Hopefully it isn't too bad :

The next main chapter of Nabiki's heartache, which I previously told
you will be called "Second Chances", will probably not be out till October or
November and will tell the tale of Ranma's first steps at friendship with
Shampoo and the other Amazons after Jusendo.

Feel free to write me at my email address:

[email protected]